Is it right to blame Anupama ?? - Page 2

We would have sympathy had the makers SHOWN that she was trying to break those abusive patterns but failing due to years of relationship... Show her struggle...show her frustrations... Show her anger at baa/vanraj even if unexpressed publicly

... The makers are instead showing her as jagat mata who is just so nice and mahaan and no one understands her dukh dard peeda... She is repeatedly shown defending baa and vanraj and her useless children .... She is always shown as right

Realistically what you said it true but as a serial you have to actually show that to your audience.... You need nuance and intelligence to show that... Here there is nothing deep happening..... Its all surface level superwoman FL of itv...

I feel either reason hate her either we don't like actress because it happens when we don't like actress we hate the character too

Second reason not opposing baa harshly I think this is the major reason

The quality of the story has degraded so much it's even difficult to see her as a real character anymore. Whenever I see grossly exaggerated scenes, now I can only think: 'Look at what they're making the actress do.'

But I'm glad you posted this thought - it feels like it comes from a place of kindness.

Many people felt that emotional connect in the beginning I think - after that big trauma, the way she was trying to pick up the shattered pieces, the way she raised her voice against Vanraj, the way she took a stand against her own exploitation...

A 40-something relatable woman regaining a sense of dignity and carrying these convictions:

"I wish to be independent. I wish to find my identity. I have sacrificed my entire life for other people now it's time to live for myself "

I understand it'd be still very difficult, but had her struggles to break out been shown intelligently....

Instead we have this:

800 episodes later (it feels like 8000000) despite being married to a rich good-looking unicorn who has burst into existence and has eyes only for her, and funding the miserable existence of her children; this dude is seen begging her for crumbs of attention for their family while she's serving the Shahs - repeating the exact same cycles she declared so proudly she'd break out of...

And like someone mentioned, there is zero sincere acknowledgement that she's made mistakes, nothing.

...this woman has actually been reduced to a 14 year old teenage girl who is not even relatable to 14 year old teenage girls.

To Anuj: "Anooj I love you Anooj I miss you Anooj don't make faces at me Anooj I'll die without you, you became too busy for me Anooj ? 1 day picnic feels like 1000 years without you Anooj "

To Vanraj: "THERE IS NO PLACE FOR NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE. POSITIVE VIBES ONLY, B*TCH!"

confidently walks back to Shah house

People can accept a deeply flawed character who has some amount of self awareness and makes committed efforts to change.

But they might find it difficult to accept a deeply flawed character who is delusional and makes committed efforts not to change.

I can't speak for everyone but I don't hate her.

She's trollworthy for me. I don't watch regularly, perhaps that's why I don't have such strong feelings😆

But yes, when I do watch, I tend to skip or make fun of her actions. This character gives me second hand embarrassment🤣

Reasons:

1. Uske kahin par bhi shuru ho jaane Wale bhashan😆
2. Uska insult karaye Bina khana hazam na hona🤣
3. Uska "cool" banne ke chakkar mein angrezi ki watt lagana😆
4. Baki I forgot🤣

I understand her years of abuse but not her refusal to see herself as who she really is- Shahs ki doormat 😆and finally doing something, anything, any-thing about it🤌😆

Originally posted by: Musketeer_95

We here at the forum think that Anupama is a laughing stock. But another thought often comes ki she is a long time abuse victim and her actions are still justified. It's not easy to move on. She was lonely miserable . Her own family couldn't support her .

So is it right to blame her for her actions ???

What is it that we hate her for ???

Yes its right to blame her.

In real life an abuse victim is under the thumb of abuser only when they are trapped in the house and abuser had complete control. Abusers gaslight victims and make them helpless. They make victims depend on them financially and cut them off from friends and family. At that point abuse victims might even love and respect their abusers and think abuse is their fault

As soon as a victim escapes they never look back. They realize what they had faced was not their fault. They feel relieved. They will NEVER EVER go back to their abuser and will lose all respect for them. They will have panic attacks ar the very thought of seeing their abusers again or going back to the house they faced abuse in

Anupamaa is making a mockery of all real life victims by enjoying going back to the abusive house and enjoying spending time with abusers. Instead of PSTD and panic attacks she has smiles and dances. In fact only panic attack she gets is in her current husband's house

None of her actions match real life abuse vicitms and the character and writers need to be teased and blamed for making a mockery of abuse vicitms

I agree that its tough to forget past

But we fail in exams we forget and try to ass next exam or we wallow in pity i failed for remaining life? (anupam ais crying i am failed all life)

We do not get our fav course MBS but do engineering instead do we wallow in self pity all life oh i never became doctor all life? (anupama is doing this)

We are not our parent fav child its our brother and he gets all his wishes fulfilled as hes the future hope of family and parents do everything to make him what he wants. We are ignored and told do this or that course as no money to fulfill your dream course? Do we get angry on parent all life for not supporting us ut our sibling and give up studies and sit gloomy all life that our parent could not pay for our fav course or send us abroad like our sibling? (this is what anupama is doing)

We like a fav dress our parent do not buy it as its costly do we not wear the other dress they buyus that year or we will wallow in self pity

Anupam ais creating self pity and not ready to move forward although God gave her a chance that millions never get to start again at 45 years that too thats her problem

She cannot see what a great blessing anuj is to start again that no woman gets at 45 years in india or asia atleast being a divorcee and with 3 kids

Its like bill gates marrying a divorcee maid or tata narrying an uneducated divorcee with kids at 45 years

But she never seeing it as that, shes acting as if shes done favour on anuj by marrying him and done favour on CA by becoming her mother

Have you seen woman get raped, burnt by hubby, gang raped, beaten for decades by in laws and hubby, sold in brothel etc yet they survive and grow better than anupama

Anuj has rescued her but shes still in that brother in that prison not ready to come out at all than what can anyone do how can anyne sympathize this person?

Major reason that mostly cannot connect with AnupaMaa is the hypocrisy that she shows.At one side she exposed Toshu's infidelity to Kinjal but then manipulated her into living with him n made her a doormat like herself.Baa n Thrash had called her characterless n character assassinated her yet she runs behind them calling shah house as her maika.She can miss CA school function for Baa ki khichdi,papad,achaar and no one should say anything to her but when Anuj took CA to picnic with CA biological mother she was feeling bad n hurt n was making rotten faces.She was never available for CA n Anuj but wants them to always adjust for her kids n shah house.Who can connect with a woman like her who shows hypocrisy at every step ?

Originally posted by: SoulSpiller

The quality of the story has degraded so much it's even difficult to see her as a real character anymore. Whenever I see grossly exaggerated scenes, now I can only think: 'Look at what they're making the actress do.'

But I'm glad you posted this thought - it feels like it comes from a place of kindness.

Many people felt that emotional connect in the beginning I think - after that big trauma, the way she was trying to pick up the shattered pieces, the way she raised her voice against Vanraj, the way she took a stand against her own exploitation...

A 40-something relatable woman regaining a sense of dignity and carrying these convictions:

"I wish to be independent. I wish to find my identity. I have sacrificed my entire life for other people now it's time to live for myself "

I understand it'd be still very difficult, but had her struggles to break out been shown intelligently....

Instead we have this:

800 episodes later (it feels like 8000000) despite being married to a rich good-looking unicorn who has burst into existence and has eyes only for her, and funding the miserable existence of her children; this dude is seen begging her for crumbs of attention for their family while she's serving the Shahs - repeating the exact same cycles she declared so proudly she'd break out of...

And like someone mentioned, there is zero sincere acknowledgement that she's made mistakes, nothing.

...this woman has actually been reduced to a 14 year old teenage girl who is not even relatable to 14 year old teenage girls.

To Anuj: "Anooj I love you Anooj I miss you Anooj don't make faces at me Anooj I'll die without you, you became too busy for me Anooj ? 1 day picnic feels like 1000 years without you Anooj "

To Vanraj: "THERE IS NO PLACE FOR NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE. POSITIVE VIBES ONLY, B*TCH!"

confidently walks back to Shah house

People can accept a deeply flawed character who has some amount of self awareness and makes committed efforts to change.

But they might find it difficult to accept a deeply flawed character who is delusional and makes committed efforts not to change.

Exactly....

I feel sorry for what she has gone through and I totally know it's difficult to come out of it but what I hate about her is that she doesn't even acknowledge her mistakes. Rone was not built in a day but things do change with consistent effort. First she needs to acknowledge the fact that Shahs only consider her as their maid and she needs to cut off her ties from them.

If we go by her logic , then nobody in the world would evolve. A tiny seed couldn't grow into huge tree. A small village couldn't become a huge town. A wheel wouldn't lead to a transportation revolution.

I know everything takes time. But there has to be efforts on your part if you want to change sincerely.

I acknowledge the fact that change for her is a long drawn process but what irks me about her is that she doesn't even flinch her thumb towards change.

She is happy sitting in the 💩.

Not a nanosecond effort by her.

Either AnupaMAA can be a bechari, or a lecturer. There cannot be a bechari lecturer. I cannot tolerate her because I can take either her sob stories or her achievements. But I am forced to tolerate both. Why ?

What you think is right. I wouldn’t have blamed her had I seen her addressing those issues and working on those. But I think she has taken herself to another level where if her husband tells her that she is not God, she takes offense in it.

Precisely my problem.

Basically its a daily soap n they need all characters for showing drama n running episodes. That's why character's actions doesn't make sense.

1. Ppl don't make ex sasural as mayka.

2. Ppl don't celebrate all festivals with ex sasural wale, dont visit ex sasural whenever free.

3.children sometimes spend time with one parent sometimes with others,

3. Ppl dont ignore dance competition of an adopted daughter for ex saas's demand of khichdi which can be made by any servant or ordered online.

4. Just to take care of grand daughter they dont bring whole ex sasural in current house

5. Ppl dont help ex pati who was so abusive with ideas.

6. Ppl don't leave high profile job for their mother's drama like vanraj did especially when they r unemployed for so much time.Its a show that's why suddenly vanraj with so many years of experience is unable to get a job n anupama who was a housewife suddenly started running business successfully.

7. Kinjal being so rich n educated still doing seva of cheater husband like a fool.

8. Kavya who was a corporate woman suddenly got modelling as her passion n she definitely can't be so young like the modeling offer she is getting. Vanraj must be 50+ so she must be 40+.

9. Babuji acting to be supporting anupama but makes her a maid n tortures her with making her stay in store room n do seva of everyone n acts like he is such a noble person.

10. Anuj n vanraj going to valley for resolving their issues. How stupid anyone can fall .

Ppl start comparing a daily soap tv bahu with real life woman n that's why anupama is hated. But if she starts behaving practically show would become boring for indian audience.