Is it right to blame Anupama ?? - Page 5

I will be hated for it but I don't conclude her 26 year ordeal as abuse either, nor is it gaslighting. It's just selective tolerance!!

When the show began, everyone in SH except Samar was either quiet or awful to Anupamaa, but that was heaven for her. She was super smitten by Vanraj, used to oogle at him like a teenager just hours after being rebuked by him and was willfully blind to any red flags, and not to forget her subservience to Leela inspite of her taunting her all the time.

ALL UNTIL VANYA EXPOSÉ!!

Everything, mind you, EVERYTHING about the behavior of Leela, Vanraj or her children was exactly the same before and after the Extra marital affair exposition. Infact it had gotten better. Vanraj was all considerate and mellow, Leela was slapping Vanraj, and Pakhi and Paritosh were openly supporting her. But she still chose divorce. And her justifications of the behavior of the Shahs being patriarchal came after that.

WHY??

Had Vanraj been a one woman man but had still continued to treat her like a doormat, would that have been acceptable? Isn't she insulting women who walk out of marriage just because they're not TREATED RIGHT, even if their husbands don't have any "textbook flaws" like smoking, drinking or sleeping around.

Let's give her the benefit of doubt that the EMA was not the only thing that offended her and it caused a butterfly effect in making her realize the other abuses she faced, like the slap was in the movie Thappad.

But even after the divorce, she blamed everything on Vanraj and wants to stay connected to other people who abused her, and even though they haven't rectified their behavior yet, she keeps coming back for more.

Isn't she justifying the abuse MILs do on DILs or the children who harrass their parents after growing up?

Isn't she also proving that she actually LIKED the abuse and it was only the EMA that made her move out?

Originally posted by: surabhi01

We have complain why anupama told anuj vanraj is not ghatiya

So here is answer why he is not ghatiya as per anupama perspective here is video

Where vanraj going to beat dholakia with Mota bada Danda

https://youtu.be/L7VZA9z3OiE

Can someone please help me understand watching the first 1 or 2 mins of this clip, from which angle do Anupama & Vanraj look like divorced couple?

There are so many things wrong in this short clip. Where do I start? first off the disappointment & disgust Kinjal feels when she realizes her mummy has publicized to the entire family what she had told her in confidence.

Never mind the rest of the flaws🤔

Originally posted by: Snowstorm22

I just read, recap. She is my comedic relief.😂😂😂😂

Originally posted by: SmithaRam

Can someone please help me understand watching the first 1 or 2 mins of this clip, from which angle do Anupama & Vanraj look like divorced couple?

There are so many things wrong in this short clip. Where do I start? first off the disappointment & disgust Kinjal feels when she realizes her mummy has publicized to the entire family what she had told her in confidence.

Never mind the rest of the flaws🤔

Sorry clip ka context samajh nhi aaya?!

Originally posted by: shriz

For example,i won't expect action movies to follow all laws of physics..hero hawa me ud kar ek sath das gundo ko mare mujhe koi dikkat nahi hai as it's fiction , but if the same movie claims to be teaching right physics to this generation and shows a man flying in the air then i will have a problem as it's giving a wrong message out there🤣

Kitne sahi bolti yaar tu. Kya mast analogy mara. Funny way mein serious batein bolne ka kya talent hai aapmein.

(I don't even speak Hindi, I don't know why it's coming out like this)

I have zero respect for Devi ji after she became best friends with Kavya.....and before people tell me that Kavya is realizing her mistake and has turned into a new leaf....I want to tell you that I can buy your logic if Kavya was a giddy headed teenager who didn't know better and was acting due to raging hormones ...but if you are going to tell me...that a much married woman...in her 30s ......didn't know in the first place that what cheating is?? That too going into Anupama's house and pretending to be her friend....nuh uh.....she is a vile vicious woman .....who made a mockery of marriage and friendship both...and now that it suddenly suits her to become Devi ji's Bhakt....she has been exonerated of her sins...aww.....just because the 17 year old Kavya is realizing that cheating on Anu Aunty with her husband VanRaj Uncle was wrong because it was a teenage crush and now I am out of it....so please....Devi ji is a big hypocrite who treats people according to what is convenient to her....Kavya started supporting her toh woh achhi ho gayi....dogli kahin ki....🤢

Originally posted by: ET111

No matter what anyone says I’m pretty set in my hatred of her :)

You’re right to bring up the key point that she’s been emotionally and psychologically abused for a quarter of a decade. However, this is where nuance comes in; there’s often an overlap between abuse victim and abuser. And Anupama has, over time, become what she initially sought to escape. Systematically brainwashing young girls into lives of no recreation and only servitude? Check. Repeatedly and deliberately neglecting her husband and foster daughter, knowing this can leave scars on a child’s psyche? Check. Actively seeking opportunities to talk and spend time with meeshtar shah? Check. Performing the role of sanskaar enforcer to perfection? Four times check!!

If anyone here has read Testaments, which is the sequel to The Handmaid’s Tale, her overall conduct is eerily reminiscent of Aunt Estee who indoctrinated young girls into being frightened, headless and voiceless cows by coating all the horrible lessons with a sickening cheerfulness so she would never come off as the bad guy🤢 she had a knack for making servitude sound pretty/cute and was a favourite among the girls she helped traumatise and brainwash, much like our suti sari mein bhagwaan 😃

Such an interesting perspective - I feel like I'm seeing their badly written tracks through the lens of a psychological thriller - and a lot of your points eerily ring true, what struck me the most was: systematically brainwashing young girls into having a life of only servitude.

A very vivid image of Kinjal rose in my mind. The way Anupama was so stubborn about getting Kinjal and her good-for-nothing son married - and the way a woman who had such spine and personality has been reduced to a mere prop whose only personality trait now is servitude.

The way she's intimately taking care of Toshu in his paralysis like a devoted wife after the sheer number of atrocities he had committed towards her, all the while putting Anupama in a pedestal and turning to her "Mummy" for advice.

Good perspective - almost gave me a shiver.

Originally posted by: NiharikaMishra

I will be hated for it but I don't conclude her 26 year ordeal as abuse either, nor is it gaslighting. It's just selective tolerance!!

When the show began, everyone in SH except Samar was either quiet or awful to Anupamaa, but that was heaven for her. She was super smitten by Vanraj, used to oogle at him like a teenager just hours after being rebuked by him and was willfully blind to any red flags, and not to forget her subservience to Leela inspite of her taunting her all the time.

ALL UNTIL VANYA EXPOSÉ!!

Everything, mind you, EVERYTHING about the behavior of Leela, Vanraj or her children was exactly the same before and after the Extra marital affair exposition. Infact it had gotten better. Vanraj was all considerate and mellow, Leela was slapping Vanraj, and Pakhi and Paritosh were openly supporting her. But she still chose divorce. And her justifications of the behavior of the Shahs being patriarchal came after that.

WHY??

Had Vanraj been a one woman man but had still continued to treat her like a doormat, would that have been acceptable? Isn't she insulting women who walk out of marriage just because they're not TREATED RIGHT, even if their husbands don't have any "textbook flaws" like smoking, drinking or sleeping around.

Let's give her the benefit of doubt that the EMA was not the only thing that offended her and it caused a butterfly effect in making her realize the other abuses she faced, like the slap was in the movie Thappad.

But even after the divorce, she blamed everything on Vanraj and wants to stay connected to other people who abused her, and even though they haven't rectified their behavior yet, she keeps coming back for more.

Isn't she justifying the abuse MILs do on DILs or the children who harrass their parents after growing up?

Isn't she also proving that she actually LIKED the abuse and it was only the EMA that made her move out?

Bold : I think it's the conditioning Anupama 's mother did to her. Im sorry but even kanta spoiled her life. She was not a good mother to her.

I tho hate her character! I mean it becomes difficult to get out of trauma when you don't have a support system, but honestly madam had the best people with her to come out of her trauma

Anuj is an incredible person, instead of holding on to your support system and trying to make them happy this woman went on to destroy her own life and drag Anuj and CA along with her into the same mess🤔

If she wanted to stick to trauma inducing people that was fine, but how wrong is it to subject other people to the same trauma you've went through?

The way Baa has been behaving with CA and Anuj is a big red flag in itself, how can you not stop her or may be keep your family away from her ? Is it that hard for Anupamaa??

Originally posted by: Musketeer_95

We here at the forum think that Anupama is a laughing stock. But another thought often comes ki she is a long time abuse victim and her actions are still justified. It's not easy to move on. She was lonely miserable . Her own family couldn't support her .

So is it right to blame her for her actions ???

What is it that we hate her for ???