|~| Crimes Against Her |~|

The following posts speak of crime against women and victim shaming. Reader discretion is advised. 

Crime has been happening all around us since we can remember, and it has been on a rise over the years, having a drastic impact on not only those who are targeted but also others who witness or hear about it. 

Many of these crimes are against women, and there are several types:

 Domestic violence/Domestic abuse - This is violence committed against the intimate partner in order to gain control of the relationship, it can be mental as well as physical. In both cases, it is one of the most common crimes against women and often leads to lifetime trauma.

Some examples of domestic violence include:

Economic (making the partner financially dependent by maintaining control of finances and money)

Psychological (threatening the partner to cause fear in them, or emotionally blackmailing them)

Emotional (Criticising and belittling the partner in order to make them feel unworthy about themselves, or damaging their relationships with their family and children)

Physical (hitting the partner, or causing them any physical harm)

Sexual (forcing the partner to take part in non-consensual sexual acts)

 Femicide - This refers to murders and killings of women and girls. Most of the time these murders are committed solely due to the gender, and are done by partners, ex-partners or family members.

The most common type is honor killing. (Killing the female to save the respect and honor of the family)

 Sexual violence - Any sexual act done to a female which she hasn't given consent to. 

Examples include harassment and rape.

 Human trafficking - Exploiting women or children through force, fraud, coercion, and deception. 

 Female genital mutilation - These are procedures which cause injury to a female's genital organs for non-medical reasons, such as preparing them for marriage in certain cultures. 

 Child marriage - The marriage of any child before they reach the age of consent, usually under the age of 18. 

 Online/digital violence against women - Any crime committed against women with the use of technology such as mobile phones, internet, or social media. 

Some examples:

Cyberbullying (bullying a person through the internet, usually with intimidating or threatening messages to instill fear in them)

Non-consensual sexting (sending explicit messages or photos without the recipient's consent)

Doxing (releasing information about the victim in public without their consent)

These are some of the most common crimes happening against women that we hear about everyday, sometimes on social media, sometimes from family or friends, sometimes in the news, and we may even personally know some women who have been through it.

Let's look at some cases that made headlines: 

 Jyoti Singh (2012), also referred to as "Nirbhaya" meaning fearless, was returning home accompanied by her male friend who went to watch a movie with her. She was gang raped and assaulted to the point that she was left to battle for her life. Unfortunately, she lost the battle, but even if she had survived, her injuries were so severe that she could have never led a normal life. Even though she lost her life, she is still remembered and talked about to this day due to her strength and courage to fight for survival until her last breath. Many documentaries have been made worldwide to cover her story. 

 Kiranjit Ahluwalia (1989) burnt her husband in UK after enduring 10 years of physical, psychological, and sexual abuse. She was initially sentenced to life imprisonment on account of murder, but later dismissed as manslaughter and lack of counselling. In 2006, a movie titled Provoked was made which was loosely based on Ahluwalia's story.

 Malala Yousafzal (2012) was just 15 years old when she was shot in the head along with two other girls by the Taliban, over her campaign for girls' education. She survived the assassination attempt and came out even stronger, continuing to fight for the rights of other girls and earning herself the Nobel Peace Prize. 

 Liz Williamson (2015) told her story of human trafficking. She was sold by her own mother at the age of just six years old. For twelve years, she was sold and recorded for child p*rnography. She escaped in adulthood with the help of a bus driver. 

 Rachel Musa Aron (2017) says she was just seven days old when she became a victim of FGM (female genital mutilation) by the elders in her African community. Six decades later, she is now the mother of three daughters, yet she still wonders: Would life have been different if she hadn't undergone this procedure? Would childbirth have been different? Would her sexual relationship with her husband have been different?

 Nasoin Akhter (2015) was fifteen years old when she was married off to a 32 year old man. The wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of a girl's life, but this girl couldn't be more miserable as she was forced into the marriage in the culture where marriage under tha age of 18 is considered to be the norm. 

 Menna Abd el Aziz (2020), a TikTok sensation, was gang raped by her friends. She posted a video of her bruises which led to victim shaming and negative comments towards her. Her rapist (Ibrahim) and his accomplices even shared a video of her being sexualy assaulted on social media. 

According to the report released by NCRB (National Crime Records Bureau), rate of crime against women (number of incidents per 1 lakh population) increased from 56.5 per cent in 2020 to 64.5 per cent in 2021 and majority of these crimes are commited by the husband or the family members.

The conviction rate in cases of crime against women in India stood at a measely 26.5 per cent in 2021, down from 29.8 per cent in 2020.

Globally, 81,000 women were killed in the year 2020.

These may seem like numbers, on the surface. But, as we step in 2023, we need to stop and reflect.

Are these cases and numbers telling us something? Or have they been screeching at us, and we have turned a blind eye? Are we failing our women and children? What are we doing to stop this? How can we make this world a better place for women? Most importantly, how long will women have to live in fear?

What will you do with higher studies? Your only concern should be taking care of the house and kids.

She was out at night, alone. She deserved it.

She said no to me. I loved her and she refused to marry me.

Such girls are asking for it. Just look at how they dress.

I'll have to start saving for her dowry already. Such a burden.

She deserved it. She stepped out of the house.

If you got out at night, then obviously stuff like this will happen. It's your fault.

How is it rape? She used to talk to him all the time and even held his hand.

If you can't stay within your limits, then we will make sure you learn your limits.

Do any of these sound familiar to you? Maybe because at some point we have heard them all and more.

Females today may have made leaps and strides in getting freedom and making the first steps towards equality with men, but we, as a society, continue to fail her even today.

When a woman is the brunt of any crime, too often she ends up facing criticism and blame from one part of society. If she goes to the hospital, someone inevitably ends up asking her questions or making comments that make it feel like she deserved the crime. If she goes to the police station or (if after her death) a police officer investigates her case, too often the pointed questions and criticisms become about her clothing, her lifestyle, her career, and her past. If the media catches wind of her case, some fraction of media makes her out to be a manipulative, scheming, vile woman, while another portrays her as a helpless, sad, lonely female without anyone. Her own identity gets lost.

And what about family? Often the biggest failure is family. Either they do not understand, they do not care, or they decide she was at fault. Many women don't even report the crimes against them because of their own families. They often worry that reporting the crime will not be understood by their own family or will affect their family's honour, their own honour, or even act as a deterrent for their career, family life, or other family member's lives.

We, as a society, have failed females in another important way as well. We continue to fail to give her equality. Simply working, having voting rights, being able to go to school, and getting freedom to wear clothes, choose friends, etc. of her own choosing is not enough. Equality is when a woman will be able to walk alone at night without worrying about the man walking behind her. Equality is when a woman will be able to travel alone without worrying about the message it will send. Equality is when a woman will be able to wear the clothes of her choice without worrying about if it is showing too much skin, if it is too informal for a setting, if others will get a wrong message, and if family will comment negatively on it. Equality is when a woman will be able to drink, smoke, party, and work late without worrying about the consequences. Equality is when a woman will be able to choose her life partner and will be able to choose when to settle down (or if to settle down). Equality is when a woman will not be considered a burden. We have a long way to go.

We, at Crazy Creatives (100% female), write this piece with a heavy heart as we think about all the crimes committed against women and how far we, as a society, still have to go. For now...all we can hope and pray is that we can all turn a new leaf over, so that next time we don't have to say "we failed her".

WildestDreams | oye_nakhrewaali | Yuvika_15

Leprechaun | NSKay

Well here in the UK, I think the recent crimes dominating headlines have been those of rape  and usually of women walking home alone at night  it is just sad how the streets aren't safe anymore 

I'll be honest I'll never go out at night alone.. never felt safe enough to and I know if I did I would experience fear. It's just the way it is sadly. 

i got goosebumps reading this post and to know that world is not safe all around for females while i always had this impression "its just in India"

it feels that females no matter how much they achieve they always end up being the target of dented male ego... 

i might hv a lot to share but currently its so heavy to even collate my thoughts... ill share soon.

and lastly thanks for this post 

This content was originally posted by: Yuvika_15

Well here in the UK, I think the recent crimes dominating headlines have been those of rape  and usually of women walking home alone at night  it is just sad how the streets aren't safe anymore 

I'll be honest I'll never go out at night alone.. never felt safe enough to and I know if I did I would experience fear. It's just the way it is sadly. 

You know it's kind of sad what things are coming to. Last year I went on 2 vacations and for both the first thing I searched is "is it safe for women". Seriously. Not what to do there. Not where to stay. "Is it safe for women".

It goes to show that the world, in general, is not safe. It isn't just India or Delhi. It's everywhere. Yes in some countries it may not be as prominent, but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I think all of these things ultimately comes down to one single point ‘conditioning’.

Whichever part of the world or country we are, females when girls are usually taught to be in more polite words to be ‘submissive’.

Talk softly, dress accordingly, be polite so that no one forms a bad opinion about you ( you have to go to another household) , listen to elders, women are the ones who bind a family together so prepare yourself for that, don’t leave your husband (everyone needs support and a woman needs a man to survive) and so forth.

I am not saying that it’s not taught to males, maybe it is but predominantly to a girl child this will be taught for sure.

The day the ‘conditioning’ of both the children are done same be it male or female child, from then onwards maybe we can think of stepping out to a new and a improved world.

But before that it’s definitely a long road ahead.

Informative and necessary topic CCs 

keep it up

This content was originally posted by: Srijeeta06

I think all of these things ultimately comes down to one single point ‘conditioning’.

Whichever part of the world or country we are, females when girls are usually taught to be in more polite words to be ‘submissive’.

Talk softly, dress accordingly, be polite so that no one forms a bad opinion about you ( you have to go to another household) , listen to elders, women are the ones who bind a family together so prepare yourself for that, don’t leave your husband (everyone needs support and a woman needs a man to survive) and so forth.

I am not saying that it’s not taught to males, maybe it is but predominantly to a girl child this will be taught for sure.

The day the ‘conditioning’ of both the children are done same be it male or female child, from then onwards maybe we can think of stepping out to a new and a improved world.

But before that it’s definitely a long road ahead.

I agree with you. It's so unfortunate that it takes females a lot to get families to open up. I come from a more traditional family. My dad is very protective and I live in Canada (a country considered to be very safe). It still took me years to get him to finally understand that I can travel alone. I had to choose a secondary university because of his protectiveness, but that opened the doors to my younger sister.

I feel like even today I am sometimes fighting the traditional values of my extended family. Like when my cousin had children, he first had a boy. And my mom's first move was to get him a car because that's what you get a boy. It wasn't something she was doing on purpose, it's just how she was conditioned. I had to argue and push her towards getting a teddy bear instead. I argued that it is more gender neutral and the boy is just born. Let him first decide what he likes to play with and then get him that. A few years, they had a girl. Today both my niece and nephew love the cars and teddy bears alike. Yes they have their more "stereotypical" toys as well, but they fight like cats over the big cars they can sit in or the teddy bear that they can jump on.

This content was originally posted by: MinionBoss

I agree with you. It's so unfortunate that it takes females a lot to get families to open up. I come from a more traditional family. My dad is very protective and I live in Canada (a country considered to be very safe). It still took me years to get him to finally understand that I can travel alone. I had to choose a secondary university because of his protectiveness, but that opened the doors to my younger sister.

I feel like even today I am sometimes fighting the traditional values of my extended family. Like when my cousin had children, he first had a boy. And my mom's first move was to get him a car because that's what you get a boy. It wasn't something she was doing on purpose, it's just how she was conditioned. I had to argue and push her towards getting a teddy bear instead. I argued that it is more gender neutral and the boy is just born. Let him first decide what he likes to play with and then get him that. A few years, they had a girl. Today both my niece and nephew love the cars and teddy bears alike. Yes they have their more "stereotypical" toys as well, but they fight like cats over the big cars they can sit in or the teddy bear that they can jump on.

@ bold

I live in Delhi, which obviously has impacted my parents a lot especially after the 2012 case.

So they still don’t allow me to travel alone.

They are of the concept that either travel with a friends or later with husband but not alone.

@green

I think we all are.

There is this concept of ‘kanyadaan’ in Hindu marriage.

So few months back I was telling my mom to not do this ritual in my case because firstly it’s quite disrespectful owing to the fact that it seems as if one is giving away a commodity and humans or for that matter any living creature at least is not that.

And secondly, it’s a bad practice that we need to now break through.

Dad argued that it is something which is being practiced for generations, how can we defy it?

@blue

This is something parents should understand that a child irrespective of gender may have different preferences and it’s okay.

But by  pre-deciding for them that choice is being taken away resulting in the same vicious cycle that we all have criticised (including elders) at some point of time.

PS: there is so much more to say, but I will stop my rant here for now.

I agree with most of the points above except for predetermining the sex of the child.

This right for now if given will lead to more of female infanticide than that of saving a female child and we will again be at a position where male female sex ratio will go further down.

‘Sex’ is a taboo in today’s world and if someone says something regarding that it will mostly be criticised.

The law student was trying people to make aware of the risks involved with unprotected intercourse but unfortunately most people don’t understand or know the broader sense of it as they have never been exposed to it.