POLL: money, money,money! -- Arpita & Sundar - Page 4

Thanks for the tag ☺...

Mine option#4. It's not about rich/ poor/ financial status blah blah... It's about future.. Couples don't end up being two till their lifetime.. They may have their children... As parents they responsible to provide the best for their children in this competitive world.....

From my personal experience as soon as after my studies I had love mrg 2 yrs ago...Since we both are doctors, govt employees and stable enough to meet our financial needs our parents got easily convinced for mrg... Now we both are pursuing post graduation on our own.. Sorting out things earlier made comfortable in meeting our clg expenses ... Even we are don't share same opinions in financial comfort zones

My opinion is financial compatibility may or may not work...couples approach and balancing eo in such situation matters ...

{{{{What are your values and what are your partners values. }}}}

thanks for sharing your experiences @nehaahmad ❤️; the above sentence from your post basically encaspulates it all -- for some reason, money seems like a dirty topic and it is not something people talk about so openly. guess, people want to save face. however, we all have opinions on spending, how money makes us feel etc.... people put unnecessarily labels such as materialistic but that may or may not be the case. sometimes experiences make us value financial security more as our life has taught us love isn't going to feed you.

I do wonder if it is easier to have these type of financial questions abroad but like I mentioned in my post, it makes me eye roll that bank loan officers can easily question you and you can even have frank discussions with financial advisors but it is lot more difficult with a potential rishtha.

My goodness this topic is so awesome. I am all in. another thing beyond finances that is important is growth.
He is not responsible for my happiness and growth and I am not responsible for his. We both have to grow and be happy on our own so that we bring a better mindset to the marriage.
if one person is growing and moving towards self actualization but the other is just happy and set in their ways and refuses to evolve with time and we are stuck in how they handled things when they were in their 20s. We are going to have an huge issue here. Both folks need to have this want and need to improve and evolve themselves for a successful marriage.

Have not seen enough of sundar and arpita to know where they stand but whatever is shown is insufficient.

Originally posted by: BlueJayFire

With time many think they arent worth the girl and this creates major misunderstandings..decent level of education is a must from both side. My bigger annoyance with Imlie is she thinks Arpita loves Sundar, why cant she think of tum dono dost ho, do you want to explore other options..that would have been a better word placement (I am not liking that either)..still.

this is imlie

Originally posted by: Shravani95

Thanks for the tag ☺...

Mine option#4. It's not about rich/ poor/ financial status blah blah... It's about future.. Couples don't end up being two till their lifetime.. They may have their children... As parents they responsible to provide the best for their children in this competitive world.....

From my personal experience as soon as after my studies I had love mrg 2 yrs ago...Since we both are doctors, govt employees and stable enough to meet our financial needs our parents got easily convinced for mrg... Now we both are pursuing post graduation on our own.. Sorting out things earlier made comfortable in meeting clg expenses etc...

My opinion is financial compatibility may or may not work...couples approach and balancing eo in such situation matters ...

thats why I think sundar arpita can be a real pairing if they show us how they balance ego and approach as a couple and discuss these real issues of class, money and educational differences. fingers crossed.

thanks for sharing your experience. ❤️

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

{{{{What are your values and what are your partners values. }}}}

thanks for sharing your experiences @nehaahmad ❤️; the above sentence from your post basically encaspulates it all -- for some reason, money seems like a dirty topic and it is not something people talk about so openly. guess, people want to save face. however, we all have opinions on spending, how money makes us feel etc.... people put unnecessarily labels such as materialistic but that may or may not be the case. sometimes experiences make us value financial security more as our life has taught us love isn't going to feed you.

I do wonder if it is easier to have these type of financial questions abroad but like I mentioned in my post, it makes me eye roll that bank loan officers can easily question you and you can even have frank discussions with financial advisors but it is lot more difficult with a potential rishtha.

That’s what I am wondering as well. Mine was arranged but we both lived abroad. I think there is a difference. One of my second cousins was getting married in Pakistan a couple of years afterwards and when I was talking to her and she was like I don’t even know if he will let me work. And I can’t have this conversation with him. The contrast was so stark. here this girl is getting married but not even sure if the husband will let her work or not. it bothered me so much that I still remember this conversation.

my hope is that things change and when my daughter or sons are getting married they have these conversations.

Yaar materialism is relative. The stigma around being pure means not want material goods is so stupid. It is also further perpetuated by charcuterie like Imlie and other itv or ptv dramas. I find that such a terrible narrative. So I can’t be sans Kari and carry a Chanel.
However I do agree that We shouldn’t judge ppl based on what they make and honor them for who they are. I don’t think we are judging sundar for being poor but we are kinda judging him like aryan is that fine you love my Didi but when you don’t have the strength to protect her feed her take care of her. How dare you.

We are all materialistic in different ways for different things and when I was younger I might have been all righteous about it and perhaps denied it but the older I get the easier it becomes to admit to it and own it unapologetically.
P.s. Yaar I apologize. I felt so passionate about the topic I flooded the thread. Sorry guys.

Originally posted by: nehaahmad

That’s what I am wondering as well. Mine was arranged but we both lived abroad. I think there is a difference. One of my second cousins was getting married in Pakistan a couple of years afterwards and when I was talking to her and she was like I don’t even know if he will let me work. And I can’t have this conversation with him. The contrast was so stark. here this girl is getting married but not even sure if the husband will let her work or not. it bothered me so much that I still remember this conversation.

my hope is that things change and when my daughter or sons are getting married they have these conversations.

Yaar materialism is relative. The stigma around being pure means not want material goods is so stupid. It is also further perpetuated by charcuterie like Imlie and other itv or ptv dramas. I find that such a terrible narrative. So I can’t be sans Kari and carry a Chanel.
However I do agree that We shouldn’t judge ppl based on what they make and honor them for who they are. I don’t think we are judging sundar for being poor but we are kinda judging him like aryan is that fine you love my Didi but when you don’t have the strength to protect her feed her take care of her. How dare you.

We are all materialistic in different ways for different things and when I was younger I might have been all righteous about it and perhaps denied it but the older I get the easier it becomes to admit to it and own it unapologetically.

am not on twitter or other platforms where Imlie is being discussed. so I was surprised to read on DT that apparently people are saying those not in favour of this pairing are classist. I was like "what???? there are serious repercussions here and it is real and practical. how is money concern classist? 🤷‍♀️" -- so that is why I thought of making a serious post and discussing.

in regards to your cousin, am not surprised. it happens more often than you think. people are afraid to have real conversations and questions because they don't want the rishtha to break. so they just act like everything will turn out magically okay after the marriage. (eye roll) then you end up with couples who are not on the same page career wise or money wise. so they end up having major fights after marriage.

and yea, I don't like how 'pure' also means that you can't have a career or ambition or that you are supposed to cook in the kitchen at all times when it comes to these drama characters. imlie talks a lot but you just see her at home. has she gone to office since she got married?

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

am not on twitter or other platforms where Imlie is being discussed. so I was surprised to read on DT that apparently people are saying those not in favour of this pairing are classist. I was like "what???? there are serious repercussions here and it is real and practical. how is money concern classist? 🤷‍♀️" -- so that is why I thought of making a serious post and discussing.

in regards to your cousin, am not surprised. it happens more often than you think. people are afraid to have real conversations and questions because they don't want the rishtha to break. so they just act like everything will turn out magically okay after the marriage. (eye roll) then you end up with couples who are not on the same page career wise or money wise. so they end up having major fights after marriage.

and yea, I don't like how 'pure' also means that you can't have a career or ambition or that you are supposed to cook in the kitchen at all times when it comes to these drama characters. imlie talks a lot but you just see her at home. has she gone to office since she got married?

Amen sista!

What classist. Sorry yaar. I am on twitter but haven’t been on for a couple of days.
it’s so practical what aryan is saying. I agree with you 100%. You can’t buy pyaz from pyar.

Btw My aim is to be 100% surprised by the writers as they hopefully reverse that narrative. I know asking for a lot but we might be pleasantly surprised.

Thanks for posting this topic. ❤️

The only person financially stable (and mentally stable) is aryan.

... And he will end up financially supporting every character on the damn show... Same is going to happen here.... Sab ussi ko gaali denge par paise bhi ussi ke lenge

But great topic🤗. Got to read so many real life stories. A1

It is absolutely important to have an open communication about financial matters before marrying someone, whether that be love or arranged. Love is an emotion that can feed your heart in the darkest of times but love is incapable of meeting your practical needs. One needs education and some work skills for that. I cannot even imagine marrying a person without knowing at least a basic idea of how he spends his month…..

I dont need to ask direct questions….just knowing his job with give me a rough estimate of his icome…and simple asking how he spends his free time in a week…..where he likes to travel…as chitchat…will give me an idea how much he likes to spend vs how much he wants to save for the future. And to get to this level of communication, dating is very important.

I firmly believe men and women should date for a while and get to know each other before saying yes to any relationship, love or arranged. Otherwise all these unsaid issues simply make life a growing warzone after marriage. Date, talk, discuss, see how mentally and other ways you differ or are similar….how much you can adjust to each other…then say yes!

Love is an emotion. And like all emotions it does NOT translate into material success unless the person has some skill or work to invest the emotion in.

In Sundar’s case, he is an uneducated simple cook with no goals or economic dreams….so yes, he has every right to stay content with his lot but he has NO right to expect a woman from a much higher economic background to do the same. So Aryan is right when he says, How dare he! Because Sundar has shown no drive to work for his dream aka Arpita…he just wallows in his insecurity…..and that is why he does not deserve anything handed freely to him….

Also, being a nice guy is not a credit to a any man….its a normal prerequisite to even be eligible for any relationship……so I dont see being a “nice guy” as something so mahaan that I will marry that person. It is normal to be nice and well mannered to your family. Kuch mahaan nahin hai isme. Its a basic human prerequisite.