POLL: money, money,money! -- Arpita & Sundar

Poll

Finances and impact on relationships -- what is your view

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mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#1

I watched yesterday's episode and I was amused that hotstar has named the episode "Imlie has a new mission" -- guess, Imlie has not enough work or work pressure and needs missions to keep herself entertained? 🤷‍♀️🤦

So serious question for the poll (it is multiple choice) -- What is your view about financial compatibility on couples? How important do you think it is on the relationship and what do you think about the impacts? Do you know of real life couples who made it work despite having a financial incompatibility? Does financial incompatibilty only work if the guy is richer than the girl? What are you thoughts?

Since the writers are going to pair Sundar & Arpita, how would you like the writers to address the issue of financial compatibilty? Are you interested in a realistic arc filled with real life arguments and discussions? Or do you want a filmi style (something like "Raja Hindustani" with Aamir Khan) where the couple fall in love over a song and resolve their issue in five minutes without really resolving it -- because it is pyaaaaaaar (eye roll).

To get into the mood, here's the theme music for the post:

https://youtu.be/ETxmCCsMoD0

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Param-Sundari thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#2

I think some kind of understanding and open communication about finances is important.

financial compatibility does not only mean that if one party is rich it will work out, couples with equal earnings can also fail in money/wealth management specially when child comes in equation.

so basically depends on people and how they make it work between them.

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: SundariP

I think some kind of understanding and open communication about finances is important.

financial compatibility does not only mean that if one party is rich it will work out, couples with equal earnings can also fail in money/wealth management specially when child comes in equation.

so basically depends on people and how they make it work between them.

a new trend in finances internationally which has yet to pick up in India is pre-marital financial counseling. now that might sound odd but if you look at it, so much needed. however, given how our arranged marriage market works, it always disheartens me that the bank people can know more about your finanes when you apply for a loan but you cannot find out basic financial info during rishtha talk. it is way too sensitive and hardly anyone handles it well...

Param-Sundari thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

a new trend in finances internationally which has yet to pick up in India is pre-marital financial counseling. now that might sound odd but if you look at it, so much needed. however, given how our arranged marriage market works, it always disheartens me that the bank people can know more about your finanes when you apply for a loan but you cannot find out basic financial info during rishtha talk. it is way too sensitive and hardly anyone handles it well...

well bank people can straight ask for our income tax returns and balance sheet on face while rishsta people can't without offending so.... 😵

Edited by SundariP - 3 years ago
Lethamukund thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#5
I am having a personal experience of this kind. I had a love marriage, an intercaste, inter state, inter religious, a class apart. I visited his home two years before marriage and I knew his family conditions, and we did not hide from our family especially my parents. But by the time I proposed for a marriage (I had to since my man never thought of telling that he loves me and he felt that it is not necessary to say and I know it without telling)😡😡🥺🥺, he was in a reputed job in government of India and completed his doctorate. So my parents were worried about only his place of posting Arunachal Pradesh. Not about any caste and class difference. But I sometimes feel like I am lucky one to have a great relationship with smooth sailing for the past 21 years. not all are lucky
mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: SundariP

well bank people can straight ask for our income tax returns and balance sheet on face while rishsta people can't without offending so.... 😵

according to research, financials are a leading cause of divorce all over the world. it is just that people aren't aware of it because it gets caught in other emotions. let me give you an example. say you come from a family that loves to spend on food. so it is normal for you to eat out at least once a week. now, your rishtha is very conservative spenders and do not eat out, maybe a few times a year. so what happens with such a couple? one would get termed as "kanjoos" while the other would be termed as "extravanagant / careless" etc -- now they may be both in the same income bracket but they have different attitudes on how they would like to save and spend money. so eventually such differences can lead to personal attacks and can fester and then lead to more gaps etc etc etc....

anyway my point is that we can't even ask such normal questions like:

1. Would you rather invest in a house, or invest in experiences, like traveling?

2. How do you like to spend your extra cash from your salary?

3. Would you help your siblings financially if they needed it?

4. How much do you want to save for an emergency?

5. Do you save money at the beginning or the end of the month?

6. Do you like paying for things with cash or credit?

7. How are you managing your credit card?

8. Would you accept money from parents as help after we get married?

9. Do your parents pay for any of your current bills?

10. Who will be in charge of paying the bills?

11. Who will be in charge of investing in our future?

12. How much are we willing to spend on our parents if they get sick?

All of the above questions are suggestions from premarital financial couseling perspective. funnily enough, the bank is more likely to be asking how you are saving and spending rather than any rishtha. ... so is it any wonder that people are already writing off Sundar & Arpita as a hopeless pairing? even with similar financial status, we can't have such conversations...

Sarcy thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#7

Financial compatibility is important and it needs to be clearly discussed in any relationship. A lot of times, people gloss over it thinking they can make it work with their differences but it doesn't and they're just left with heartbreak and disappointment. A lot of times, even financially incompatible peoplr can make it work beautifully because their communication skills are top notch and priorities are sorted.


In the Arpita-Sundar scenario, the problem is not just financial incompatibility – it is also a question of what does Sundar really have to offer, even in terms of his own personality to Arpita that can make her move on from Arvind?

JaZzs thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#8

financial compatibility is important I think.. but most of the times rich guy n poor girl works compared to vice versa as even when parents have to accept love marriages it works if the guy is rich and girl is poor as girl will come to their house and mingle with them and as the society is patriarchal identity of children too stems from father.. whereas when the guy is poor, parents don't that easily accept it as they can't let their child to suffer in penury or they will have to take the responsibility of providing luxuries to their daughter, n such love marriages are rare too I think compared to the other as most of the girls very well know the cons of marrying a poorer guy..

Param-Sundari thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: -Sarcy-

Financial compatibility is important and it needs to be clearly discussed in any relationship. A lot of times, people gloss over it thinking they can make it work with their differences but it doesn't and they're just left with heartbreak and disappointment. A lot of times, even financially incompatible peoplr can make it work beautifully because their communication skills are top notch and priorities are sorted.


In the Arpita-Sundar scenario, the problem is not just financial incompatibility – it is also a question of what does Sundar really have to offer, even in terms of his own personality to Arpita that can make her move on from Arvind?

agree... Rathore's have a huge wealth and arpita has equal rights on everything. so money isn't the issue

there is no compatibility b/w them on any level and the rishta is just impractical

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: -Sarcy-

Financial compatibility is important and it needs to be clearly discussed in any relationship. A lot of times, people gloss over it thinking they can make it work with their differences but it doesn't and they're just left with heartbreak and disappointment. A lot of times, even financially incompatible peoplr can make it work beautifully because their communication skills are top notch and priorities are sorted.


In the Arpita-Sundar scenario, the problem is not just financial incompatibility – it is also a question of what does Sundar really have to offer, even in terms of his own personality to Arpita that can make her move on from Arvind?

our movies and dramas definitely gloss over financial incompatibility like it is a non-issue. as if love will save the day. however, we hardly see any fictional shows where people show how communication can make financial incompatibility work. given that arpita is rich, she doesn't really need sundar to provide for her in any sense. however, there are going to be issues around self-esteem and questions on what he really does have to offer.

based on what the writers have shown -- perhaps, sundar's gentle spirit is what she needs at this point. we need to see more scenes on what he brings to the table. am hoping that the writers start writng more. lets see. it was ridiculous that we had Imlie jumping the gun and just assuming these two have something something. sheesh, can't a man and woman be friends? 🤦

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