Ghum and patriarchy - Page 9

That’s what she has started accepting these abuses as normal .. that’s the disturbing part .. which was not there in original .

Originally posted by: msin

That’s what she has started accepting these abuses as normal .. that’s the disturbing part .. which was not there in original .

True !

She was someone who even after so many obstacles didnt give up her dreams. Be it her fathers death or marriage .

Originally posted by: msin

Good to see you asmi ..

We both have been on the opposite side of the fence .. but yes I do find it disturbing that sai is changing .. she has started accepting abuse ..

It was not Sai’s fault at all and she had not told the Chavan gang to cut connection with virat .. she always told them to accept him back ..

but the way they are behaving with her is not normal .. yes Sai should walk off from the hospital it is easier said than done .. she has lived with this man for 2 years .it is natural for her to show concern for him than anybody else in the house ..

By cutting her off like this they have shown an inhuman side to them .. which cannot be forgiven .. and I hope Sai gives it back to them .. atleast emon always did .. and the family were never that mean to her .. especially her father in law ( he protected her )

I don’t want Sai to go back to virat … being concerned for him when he is at deathbed is one thing .. becoming his wife when ge has recovered is totally different..

I do hope Sai recovers her wits .. and tells virat after he becomes ok .. we are divorced .. let’s call it a truce .. let us not hurt each other .. and put each other at death’s door yet again ..

@bold I did not get you. I mostly relate with your posts.

See my issue is not about how she is behaving now. Someone is dying, someone who helped her in her bad days, who saved her when she gave up on her dreams, ambition and life is dying, whatever be the reason is dying. Understand her chatpatahat.

My point here is the amount of mental and physical abuse she goes through in order to just stay there. In order to have a look at him. ALso the way she has normalised this abuse in the name of gussa and pyaar. The same girl who was so shocked to see the culture of the house and wanted to leave as soon as possible, because she could not deal with it, is now okay with it all, keeps getting back to them, the family, the husband. She has also joined the bandwagon in whitewashing Virat, for the wrongs he did.

My point is the two, with whatever have been shown cannot stay as husband and wife. They can be each other confidante, they can be fond of each other but cannot share a marriage. The two dont have it in them. Virat & his family in Sai's life have always taken her down in her life, he made her believe that she is not lovable, not likeable. This should not be done to anyone, forget an orphan who is one's mentor's daughter, who lost his life for you. She talks about self respect, doing the right thing, growing in career and giving a good environment to the child she brings in to the world. Virat is not that husband and Chavans certainly not that family.

Then again Sai is not for Virat. Virat believes in sacrificing love, life, family, everything in order to save random people. He would do it to his children as well in future. He has the tendency to put it all on his wife and go fulfill some responsibility expecting undying trust. There are women out there who woul actually be a perfect partner and perfect bahu for him. Sai is not the one.

They as couple, who could grow leaving behind the mistakes of the past, had scope after Virat's accident . They dont have any.

And now we have this show where the lead has been slapped for not fault of hers, however the NL is still to be called out for having an eye on her devar. Such is this show.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

@bold I did not get you. I mostly relate with your posts.

See my issue is not about how she is behaving now. Someone is dying, someone who helped her in her bad days, who saved her when she gave up on her dreams, ambition and life is dying, whatever be the reason is dying. Understand her chatpatahat.

My point here is the amount of mental and physical abuse she goes through in order to just stay there. In order to have a look at him. ALso the way she has normalised this abuse in the name of gussa and pyaar. The same girl who was so shocked to see the culture of the house and wanted to leave as soon as possible, because she could not deal with it, is now okay with it all, keeps getting back to them, the family, the husband. She has also joined the bandwagon in whitewashing Virat, for the wrongs he did.

My point is the two, with whatever have been shown cannot stay as husband and wife. They can be each other confidante, they can be fond of each other but cannot share a marriage. The two dont have it in them. Virat & his family in Sai's life have always taken her down in her life, he made her believe that she is not lovable, not likeable. This should not be done to anyone, forget an orphan who is one's mentor's daughter, who lost his life for you. She talks about self respect, doing the right thing, growing in career and giving a good environment to the child she brings in to the world. Virat is not that husband and Chavans certainly not that family.

Then again Sai is not for Virat. Virat believes in sacrificing love, life, family, everything in order to save random people. He would do it to his children as well in future. He has the tendency to put it all on his wife and go fulfill some responsibility expecting undying trust. There are women out there who woul actually be a perfect partner and perfect bahu for him. Sai is not the one.

They as couple, who could grow leaving behind the mistakes of the past, had scope after Virat's accident . They dont have any.

And now we have this show where the lead has been slapped for not fault of hers, however the NL is still to be called out for having an eye on her devar. Such is this show.

Originally posted by: msin

See initially I did not agree with your viewpoints .. because I did believe that virat was redeemable.. and it is the girls choice whether she wants to stay on in a marriage But the last 3 months of extreme torture.. plus also the point .. that they have not yet consummated the marriage are not even aware of each other’s feelings.. so it is a good way to cleanly exit out of the marriage..The situation is way different than KD Over there the family at this point was not toxic .. atleast the elders ( baba, jethima,pishi moni) were not angry with emon .. mother in law was but for a very short while .. and emon gave her left n right .Yes Sai n virat are both nice people but they are definitely not made for each other .. they both will find more suitable partners for themselves .. patralekha / shruti both might be more suitable for virat .. as they will massage his ego .. and will not question his ability to think .. the issue over here is Sai is definitely more intelligent than virat .. and this hits his ego ..

Oh yes I remember. My point even then was that he has the tendency to put it all on Sai., after being physically aggressive on Sai. Remember that pyaarosti slip. He had thrown away the food in anger, was aggressive and later on when he apologized, only when Sai talked in his favour, even then he said, mujhe gussa dilaya gaya tha. Also I like I mentioned the other day I have seen men like him who claim to love the wife, in moment of anger get aggressive and probably physical harm the woman & then realize, apologize, cry and repeat. He got aggressive with Shruti also when all she wanted to know was where had he been, all day.

Sai being young and having no one to guide her around, her own,, but Virat would certainly get molded eventually, because she craves companionship and love having found none there. The family is abusive and everytime he spoke about her adjusting in it, it bothered me, it did not let me see him that light, that he is progressive and understands Sai and her aaba's wishes for her. But ofcourse there was a chance to redeem him there, but there is not any, Now. Virat in a way curbs her and thats why it bothers me. I have seen young girls giving in and not doing what they deserve to do. You waste a promising life there , a life that could raise 100 other promising lives.

@bold2 ego is an issue, he has always ALWAYS been salty whenever he talks about Sai being independent. He was apologetic about Shruti till Sai's speech. With that speech his mistakes, his crime, his lie everything as per him turned into something he did right , his zimmedaari, his integrity.

Oh yes that speech .. I was unable why virat is not giving in .. why is he being so obstinate that he’s right .. I was traveling in December.. so skipped some episodes .. there was one speech .. where Sai did not thank him .. as he had failed to turn up ..

Originally posted by: msin

Oh yes that speech .. I was unable why virat is not giving in .. why is he being so obstinate that he’s right .. I was traveling in December.. so skipped some episodes .. there was one speech .. where Sai did not thank him .. as he had failed to turn up ..

And thats where his, I am right and you will know and regret started.

Very nice observation from you guys..

Wish that happens in the show and Sai truly needs someone to guide her..

Virat is not the right person for her.. Sad part Sai has already moulded herself into him ...now no coming back for this girl..Somewhere I read it's very easy to manipulate teens Virat had successfully done it

Originally posted by: Guguminti

Totally AGREE. MOST of the Family is run like this and everything a women goes through is termed as 'Itna toh har sasural me hota hai' 'toh kya hua Pyar bhi toh milta hai'

The Taunting of In-Laws, Husbands getting un-faithful is also seen in a very light way and if the Wife gets agitated or fights for it, she is taken as a Negative person or a person who needs to Let go.

I have personally experienced A Girl catching her own sister with her husband and when she started to Fight and let others know to help her out, she was sidelined by her own family accusing her to just drag the issue and not letting go as it was just a 'mistake' and her drama might break her sister's marriage too (she was strictly ordered by her other sister and Maa Maasis to not tell this to her sister's husband and Forgive them. She was insulted as if its her fault to make an issue of just a cheating.

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