do akshara and abhimanyu really have a traumatic childhood/past? - Page 3

Originally posted by: sidnilove

I don't find the whole Sirat ma ko tumne maara drama believable. I didn't watch S2 and my only reference to this event is the flashbacks that are shown and the recent discussion that happened between Abhimanyu and Kairav. Did it have to take all these years for someone to tell Akshu that it wasn't her fault? The reason for the enmity between the two sisters is too flimsy and Aarohi constantly shouting ki sirat ma ko tumne maara and Akshu saying don't say like that is not powerful enough to justify everything that has happened and the way Akshu has turned out.

Kairav has suffered more. I know that different people deal with trauma differently and it's not a competition but I don't feel compelled to feel for Akshu.

In case of Abhimanyu, maybe Harsh had an extra marital affair and Manjari suffered because of that. Maybe Abhimanyu hates him because of it. I don't know. But whatever be the case, what we've seen so far is that Harsh is proud of Abhi and he loves him. The whole family loves Abhi even Anand and Mahima have genuine feelings for him. He's a reputed doctor and is working in the field that he loves. He comes from a well to do family just like Akshu. I don't understand what's the sob story here? Yeah he spent a lot of time at the hospital when he was kid but I still don't get what was so traumatic in his past?

Even Harsh is not that bad. He agreed to get him married to Akshu if she agreed. Akshu backed out and the whole mess happened. So, it's difficult to buy the whole traumatic past that is being pushed on to us. Maybe they're doing it convince us to like Abhi and Akshu or they're doing it build a connection with the audience because sad stories always win hearts but the problem is that in either case the story is not sad enough 😆

The whole premise of YRKKH is dependent on these characters having nothing else to worry about but their love lives😆 So they all have to be from rich privileged backgrounds.

Who will have the time and energy to worry about methi daana romance, being a power couple, PR, dubious second angle women who might be a relative etc when putting food on the table, mortgage payments and so on are a higher priority 🤣

Originally posted by: borntorule12

I feel even akshara belongs to a privileged section of society when it is financially...she always got what she needed. She does nothing apart from play guitar. She could have been shown like naira to be doing family business along side. Aarohi on the other hand, is very hardworking but has been made a joke of by everyone because cvs want to serve the same good vs bad sister.

But if you consider in terms of akshara, abhimanyu and Aarohi, we can say akshara and Aarohi have a traumatic past as they both lost their parents. There is no loss bigger than loss of your parents. That void is always there. What did abhimanyu go through? Had the luxury of everything. He left the mandap, yet nobody has the guts to speak up to him and already has family supporting him for his marriage with akshara.

I don't understand this exaggeration of childhood trauma. Didn't we all go through childhood trauma in some way or other? Don't we all have problems in life? I can see much bigger problems than Abhimanyu's in my life. As far as the equation between his mother and father is considered, that is literally the fate of majority of arrange marriages in India where marriage is more of a formality and emotional attachment is not there. However, that shouldn't allow the children to disrespect their parents.

It was looking so funny when abhi said dad disrespects mom( because of his own issues with her), Neil and akshu for her singing so i want to leave the hospital after gaining years of experience from here. It's my dad who funded my education and supported my dreams of becoming a doctor and I'm so against him that I humilate him publically and don't even care if he is falling ill

I liked the point someone brought up in other thread (indira1211) that how abhimanyu is ignoring Aarohi's existence because he doesn't want to get married to her. That way harsh too must have been forced to marry manjari and he could never find the connect with her. Disrespecting manjari is wrong but abhi blaming him that he didn't love his mom, so he is evil is also not appropriate. Majority of arrange marriage in India it's like that only husband wife are together under one roof, they take care of their responsibility but never connect with each other at a deeper level.

I think they're going to show harsh having an Ema and domestic violence on manjari. It's Abhimanyu's suppressed guilt that he couldn't save his mom from domestic violence and the extra marital affair of his dad.

But you know I think even if abrohi happened, aarohi might have shared a similar fate. Knowing how deep akshara is into abhimanyu and he already said it by his own mouth that he is going to keep loving akshara till the end. The marriage with Aarohi is only going to be name sake. So basically both father and son are same. Marriage with someone and some other women in mind all the time. The only difference would be harsh probably got physical with the other women which abhimanyu wouldn't have if he married aarohi.

But his way of talking to aarohi is quite disrespectful in the functions which proves he is totally his dad's son. His dad also treats his mom very formally and shouts at her when she offers care.

Remember in engagement scene, when Aarohi offered abhimanyu band aid when he hurt his ring finger to not get engaged to aarohi how rudely he talked to her ? "Dr aarohi! I know better"

If they actually brought the traumatic past angle that should have been handled like dev Dixit in kuch rang pyaar ke bhi. That guy studied when they were in immensed poverty and took responsibility of 3 sisters at a very young age. He became mature very quickly because he had no other option but here, abhimanyu has had all privileges since childhood and becoming a doctor was his dream. He got his dream fulfilled so why is he suddenly cribbing about growing up too early ? Ain't doctors suppose to be mature ? What's wrong with it if he became mature early? Or is he implying I should have had more fun in life instead of medical books 😆

On the other hand, Neil is such a happy character in the show despite being subject to harsh's taunt and orphan tag. He said in ichcha kund "sab kuch toh mila hai mujhe, itni achi family mili hai, itna acha bro mila hai!" .Yes, he would obviously be grateful that despite being an orphan he got such a good life but there is no complaint from his side unlike abhimanyu regarding family members

Originally posted by: Intoxicator

The whole premise of YRKKH is dependent on these characters having nothing else to worry about but their love lives😆 So they all have to be from rich privileged backgrounds.

Who will have the time and energy to worry about methi daana romance, being a power couple, PR, dubious second angle women who might be a relative etc when putting food on the table, mortgage payments and so on are a higher priority 🤣

Exactly. The questioning of their privilege is ridiculous because even their problems are kind of utopian. 🤣

It's like all those Karan Johar movies.

And for these stories, underprivileged people exist either to serve them or to show how open minded and generous they are through charity. Oh, or all the poor people are just gold diggers. I think only Sirat was underprivileged and her story was mainly to get insulted by Goenkas, I guess? At least that's what i understood from the forum.

Just because other people may have faced trauma that's supposedly "worse" than Abhimanyu's trauma, that doesn't make his challenges and his issues with his father invalid.

Each person's childhood experiences and everyone's lived reality of trauma is different, and each one is as valid as the other. There's no scope for comparison in this regard.

Abhimanyu is like a bird in a golden cage. Negating the trauma he has faced is like saying the bird should be happy and shouldn't feel sad because the cage is after all golden. The issue is not whether the cage is golden or not, money doesn't play a role here. The problem is the cage, i. e., Harsh's behavior with Manjiri and Neil. It's perfectly justified and actually the correct thing to do if someone wants to leave because of that kind of attitude of a parent.

Stating "trauma" and "exaggeration" in the same sentence is itself being insensitive to the lived experiences of people who have interpersonal issues with their rich parents, who can be so emotionally abusive that it scars the child for life.

Are we now trivializing sensitive issues like childhood trauma and comparing people/judging fictional characters on the basis of "whose trauma is valid", just to hate on Abhimanyu? Well, okay then. That's all. I'm out of this toxic thread.

Originally posted by: HahaHeheHuhu9

Just because other people may have faced trauma that's supposedly "worse" than Abhimanyu's trauma, that doesn't make his challenges and his issues with his father invalid.

Each person's childhood experiences and everyone's lived reality of trauma is different, and each one is as valid as the other. There's no scope for comparison in this regard.

Abhimanyu is liked a bird in a golden cage. Negating the trauma he has faced is like saying the bird should be happy and shouldn't feel sad because the cage is after all golden. The issue is not whether the cage is golden or not, money doesn't play a role here. The problem is the cage, i. e., Harsh's behavior with Manjiri and Neil and its perfectly justified if someone wants to leave because of that kind of attitude of a parent.

Are we now trivializing sensitive issues like childhood trauma and comparing people/judging fictional characters on the basis of "whose trauma is valid", just to hate on Abhimanyu? Well, okay then. That's all. I'm out of this toxic thread.

@bold : Couldn't have put it in a better way. Thank you

Originally posted by: sheet_leher

@bold : Couldn't have put it in a better way. Thank you

Hainaa, it may be true that other people have a life that's much worse than our own, if we really want to go to the extent of comparing and "quantifying" the levels of trauma faced by various people.

But that doesn't mean our challenges are not valid. Just because others have it worse, our issues don't become any less real.

There are so many people living below the poverty line in the world, starving without money for the next meal. And then there are middle-class people slogging day in and day out, losing mental peace, shedding blood and sweat, but making enough money for 3 meals a day. Is it even fair at all to compare who has a more difficult life? Can we even compare the trauma faced by these two groups of people? Both of their issues are as valid as any other.

It's the same thing here too.

Each person's experience is as valid as any other.

Originally posted by: HahaHeheHuhu9

Hainaa, it may be true that other people have a life that's much worse than our own.

But that doesn't mean our challenges are not valid. Just because others have it worse, our issues don't become any less real.

Each person's experience is as valid as any other.

Agreed, it's not a race - who's had it worse.

It's neither a number 1 competition.

If you're trying to win in this, it's sad, and my heart goes out to you.

The reason we don't compare trauma, is because we want people to speak out. Let out their emotions, rather than allow them to build if up. It leads to somatic symptoms, you experience different manifestations, like panic attacks.

So, let's be glad they're addressing the issues and talking about it. Don't trivialise it

Originally posted by: sheet_leher

Agreed, it's not a race - who's had it worse.

It's neither a number 1 competition.

If you're trying to win in this, it's sad, and my heart goes out to you.

The reason we don't compare trauma, is because we want people to speak out. Let out their emotions, rather than allow them to build if up. It leads to somatic symptoms, you experience different manifestations, like panic attacks.

So, let's be glad they're addressing the issues and talking about it. Don't trivialise it

Exactly!! And just because someone has money, that doesn't make their emotions any less real. They are people too and they face abuse and torture from their loved ones too.

Especially with a father like Harsh who keeps taunting and making you feel like your worth is only in being a doctor at the hospital, and not in simply being a son/human being.

Originally posted by: Indira1211

ok…at the end of season 2 they showed the 2 little girls.. Arohi was shown as smart and akshara although older would constantly need attention from Sirat..even when the girls had an important project and there were so many adults in the house.. akshara decided to go sleep next to Sirat and she forgot to do her project and messed up big time at school the next day. So akshara was shown as irresponsible in my opinion..similarly ..it was a bad day and they had heard that their father was missing, Sirat went to mandir and Arohi followed her ,.and arohi told akshara not to come ,to stay at home ..she’ll go get Sirat..but akshara didn’t listen …as she must always run after Arohi and sirat..so akshara goes to the temple in the bad weather , almost falls, screams for Sirat and Sirat runs to her but falls and dies. So Arohi seeing this blames akshara because if akshara listened to her and stayed at home like she asked her too..then Sirat probably would have been alive.. So akshara often makes wrong choices and it creates a lot of trouble for Arohi according to her..like if akshara had spoken up and said she loves abhimanyu after the tilak ,.there wouldn’t have been this drama and abhira would have been married. But to me Arohi and akshara did suffer trauma in childhood ,.they lost both their mother and father on the same Day and had to be raised by their old grandparents ..and akshara who is more needy emotionally..did feel the loss a lot and that’s why she clings to Arohi so much.. so I do feel for both girls because to grow up without parents is indeed very sad . But I really don’t feel sorry for abhimanyu..he’s had a loving family his whole life..his parents are still married ,.and his father is not a monster,. yes he doesn’t love manjeri but he was forced to marry her..and if manjeri was a strong woman .and wanted to get out of the marriage she could have..I don’t feel sorry for her.. she leads a privileged life ..yes people can say maybe she’s not educated etc.. but really we just have this one life and everyone needs to make the best of it.. and manjeri has lots more in life than many other women.. I don’t feel sympathy for the birlas.. manjeri has her older sister in the same house.. so she’s not alone… she chose to stay with her husband who doesn’t love her…and she lives the life of a very wealthy woman..multiple servants that do all the chores..,she can just do what she likes..be in her garden, cook her favourite dishes, wear lovely sarees and jewellery… Life seems good for manjeri apart from the fact that her husband doesn’t love her and she irritates him..but then she should have known that when she married him.. in life we always have a choice..doesn’t matter where we come from..we can get ourselves out of a bad situation if we try our best,, ..🤷🏻‍♀️..

I still don't get why Akshu needs to be blamed. From what you said, Aarohi asked her to stay home but Akshu didn't listen..so what big deal..kids are like that. So, Aarohi was mad at Akshu for not listening and she blamed her for Sirat's death. That's understandable. But it was an issue that could be easily resolved by elders. It didn't have to fester and become this impossible to resolve. Sirat's death was not compounded by other events that added to Aarohi's anger.it was a single event. Children are moldable..they can be made to understand..this was left unresolved just for the sake of drama.

Losing both parents is traumatic but Akshu is not the only one who lost her parents. Kairav and Aarohi also lost them. However, Akshu is the one who feels bad for herself..Aarohi hates me..I'm lonely..etc. She has so much to be grateful for. She could have been forced to do something else professionally. We've heard so many instances where one sibling does well and the other sibling is forced to compete or get into the same field. Akshu was not forced to compete with Aarohi academically. She wasn't asked to become a doctor..she wasn't belittled..she was encouraged to follow her dreams. She has a family that's mostly supportive. Kairav loves her and is so protective of her. I just feel like non existent issues and small issues are being magnified just to show that Akshu is bechara which is not the case.

I agree with whatever you've said about Abhimanyu and Manjari 👍🏼

Exactly ...Akshara's only issue is my sister doesn't love me... Like in real life if sister is so vile then even u would develop feelings towards that person as if they don't exist but here akshara is shown obsessed with acceptance by such a person. I wouldnt even want such a person to accept me. That too such a small problem. Many siblings have an equation like that. Why does akshara have to be a bechari abla nari in this? 🤪