Trying not to love........Part 1

Trying Not To Love

Part 1

My eyes all of a sudden fell on him. I was startled. I blinked my eyes. Was it really him? After so many years, he was there just few steps away from him. Time had kept us separated for so long, and now just a small, insignificant crowd. His face was partly turned, towards the road, waiting for a bus may be. As always, he didn't notice me but I did. My first reaction was to run to him and melt in his arms, to relive that warmth which perhaps got blurred in my old dusty memories. But my legs refused to move and I slowly came back to reality, to my reality. And instead of taking a step forward, I stepped back. How could I forget, I could never touch him, never look into his bright and deep eyes, never hear him teasing me. How could I forget we will always remain separated? The heart would never stop bleeding, the tears won't dry, and the distance would never disappear. For the last time I drank his sight, his unruly hair, his smart glasses, his perfectly ironed suit, the way he always looked at his watch every 5 minutes and then I ran……..not to him but away from him, as always. I ran to my darkness, to my solitude, to my lonely memories, to my cosy apartment whose every corner is familiar with my grief, my pain, my longing and my despair. I ran tumbling through the crowd, fearing if I didn't hurry my eyes would speak the truth I tried to bury for so many years.

Yes I tried not to love, and I m still trying but how long can u play hide and seek with ur feelings, how long can u ignore the truth that stares blankly at ur face, how long can u overlook what ur heart screams out every moment, how long can u go on trying not to love??????????