What could have Made Anupama a doormat?

As a teen raised by a single unemployed mother she entered her Sasuraal with her head filled with what to do, what not to do, what to speak what not to speak how to do things and how not to.

After 26 years and another marriage Vanraj in a drunken state asked Anuj if he thought Vanraj was hot in his blue outfit. In his bharaat.... Just to point out the self image the guy carries. He derides Anupama for her appearance and for smelling of spices,

A mother in law who threatens to slap all and sundry in public could not have treated her with love and care.

Even now when she is divorced Vanraj yells at her and the pent house Nagrik at Devika how folks must speak to Leela Shah.

Leela cares a damn for the feeling s of others even her own husband. Something we get to repeatedly hear from Maamaji.

We have seen how Vanraj got Anupama to apologize to Kavya after the cake episode on Anupamas birthday. We have seen how the family laughs when Paakhi and Paritosh call Anupama and Samar losers. The family that turns a blind eye when Vanrajs colleague is passed off as the prospective grooms mother.

A simple wish to see the sea and travel by plane which she expressed to Vanraj was scoffed.

The limited means of her maika and how she should be grateful for her life is rubbed in constantly.

Her hobbies, her ideas, her achievement s are constantly ridiculed. She had no one to turn to either for advice or to pour out her woes.

It is the elders who by their actions, by their behavior have made P1&2 and set the platform for kavya to constantly be little Anupama.

Samar is the sole voice of support till Kinjal comes on the scene. Kinjal comes from a totally different strata of society. Born with a silver spoon she has atleast had the stabilising influence of her dad which gives her the moral compass to question the Shah s. Since she has not had the positive influence a mother could have had in preparing her for life in a joint family Anupama treats her as a new intern and trains her how to face issues and handle folks.

Rakhee herself has admitted she need not worry about Kinjal as long as Anupama is around as she will do only what is right for Kinjal and protect her as she would protect Pakhi. Anupama does not believe an eye for am eye or a tooth for a tooth. She chooses her battles and spares no one .

Anupama has ensured that her children were n other bereft of a mothers care or love. She cannot act like the independent working women of today as she has been raised to be dependent and she does not have the money or muscle power of a Rakhee Dave as her maternal home to stand by her.

Anupama, Sarala and TaralaS Daughters in law all had to swallow their pride and endure their life. It is what was thrust upon them.

Even in today's day and time I see several of my colleagues don't have the debit cards of the salary accounts.

The Anupamas of India may not be on IF but if we look and speak to those around we will find several like her. We call them in Tamizh vaai illa poochi. (Mouthless/voiceless insects) .

True that!!!!

Major chunk of the ladies have been taught to keep the head down, yedurtu peshade (not taking back), adjust, watever happens, stay in your house...... Dnt fight an come back to mayka......

They have never been given the support or confidence that they will be supported in hard times..... Women tend to swallow the bad pill an smile through as they will have to do that anyways...... Instead of arguing and making things difficult, it is better to make peace.

Unfortunately that is how it has always been..... They trend is slowly Changing but the road is long ahead!!!!

Anupama is showing that conflict quite well...... For someone who has always been quite, is speaking... That is almost out of character and habit and will lead to internal conflict and guilt....

This like how women are treated as untouchables during periods...... That is changing slowly but then again, a female in her 30's and 40's will find it difficult to completely abandon the older ways but do not agree with that as well.....

Oh.... reading this makes me kind of emotional🥺

You have written it beautifully 😍🥺😍🥺😍...I wish I could get better words to appreciate this but then I'm very bad at writing serious paragraphs

I must say you understand anupamaa's character very well👏

Perfectly written 👍🏼

You are absolutely right . She faced a lot in her life and when this happens with someone wo insaan apni aawaz apna self confidence sab kho deta h. When nobody is there to support her in fact everyone makes fun of her. I remember that scene where she won a trophy and they threw it in dustbin ki aisi trophies market mein bahut milti h. Pathetic seriously

Pati jiske bharose aayi saas jise maa samjha bacche jinhe itni takleef sehkar paida kiya aur pala koi bhi nahi tha uske saath . In fact kisi ne kasar nahi chodi uska neecha dikhane ke liye use har waqt feel karaya that she is good for nothing

Mayka bhi to strong nahi tha uska.

And yes there are many women jo puri life bina zuban khole sab sehkar nikal deti h which is actually a sad fact of our society

Gayathri the trend is changing but what worries me is we have more turning out like Kavya. Demanding gold, diamonds movable and immovable assets from parents and choosing boys who like Paitosh are willing to move with the girls family. I don't say they shouldn't .

When folks begin with an entitlement feeling either on account of gender, financial status or qualification and use it to illtreat another that can't be called a cultured/ civilised society.

Relationship should be built on trust, respect, understanding and collective decision.

I meet a lot of women and hear their woes . We are privileged to be independent and have the opportunity to voice our point of view and be heard. For many it is a far cry.

I think the makers are trying to create a ray of hope making it a wake up call for women to speak up and be heard,

Originally posted by: moonwearer

Gayathri the trend is changing but what worries me is we have more turning out like Kavya. Demanding gold, diamonds movable and immovable assets from parents and choosing boys who like Paitosh are willing to move with the girls family. I don't say they shouldn't .

When folks begin with an entitlement feeling either on account of gender, financial status or qualification and use it to illtreat another that can't be called a cultured/ civilised society.

Relationship should be built on trust, respect, understanding and collective decision.

After effects....... Pakhi might turn out like that simply cos she has seen her mother suffer ..... It will take time for ppl to calm down in general n behave rational, moe after having a really equal existence.

Bang on bang on

I've seen so much women like that in fact my own mom was like that for some years . But eventually said she will have her own salary debit card ro herself .

I work in quite a reputed college here in Chennai which is there for more than 100 years. My dept hod still gets money from her husband for her daily expenses.

For us it is v easy to say why is anu bearing so much torture why she isn't giving it back .

But anu has beem conditioned so . Her own mom said had she not made her so meek she would have probably excelled. Even Anuj said anu doesn't know her full potential

For ppl.like baa and vanraj even toshu , they have always done with her as they pleased no wonder today they thought she will surrender plead for mercy she was always their punching bad who had no feelings or emotions of her own . And today when she had enough and decided to leave and on fact left they're shocked how she left her ghosla .

Also agree to every word u said about how baa always said u r having this good life cause of us heck even anu has said she is blessed to have her and was so overjoyed and overwhelmed when baa said she was a good dil. She never was made to feel special or valued for the matter and it is a horrible and true mirror of the society like I've seen so many such women's in my own families. Inspite of education and a job when this can happen to u for a person like anu who is uneducated and not having a job it will definitely be na.

Change should happen from us from how we treat our family the women in our families how we impart these values.to the kids . Pakhi and toshu are a result of this exposure as they be always seen samar n anu as loosers

Here Vanya is without a job

Toshu is workout in his sasural

Who are the friggin loosers.

When someone like anu was there kanha ji kripa was there in the house

Now without her the grace surrounding the house will also leave as God cannot reside in any place which is impure

And as mamaji said sab Bazaar jaise bhik jayega

Mama ji made so much sense today

It is important we give wings to our daughters and make them beleive they can do whatever they put their mind too and also even more important to teach our sons gender equality and women empowerment in the true sense. To express emotions and show some love respect and chivalry to the women in their lives to not clip the wings

At times we need to take a stand and talk out that's the power of women once decided she won't take this crap any longer then there's no turning back

I'm sure baa and ladla and ladla ka ladka and maide ki katori will stoop even downr totally capable.to do so too

You go anu 😊😊😊

Agreed with word to word

Even though things changing I see girls still like this women specially listen to everything what there husband in law's says and don't voice out as they are taught women should adjust sacrifice compromise aur pata nahi kya kya

I am lucky enough I have given freedom to do what I want honestly Choose what I want ....