MaAn FF: Aakhri Train (The Last Train)

Hello Guys,

I had written this FF a long time ago, and remodeled it for MaAn.

It has a slight inspiration from Rabindranath Tagore's story Strir Potro (Letter From the wife) and there is a slight bit of a role reversal as Anupamaa is an educated woman while Anuj is a villager.

Its a bit dark and may seem a bit Balika-Vadhu-ish so please bear with me and let me know if there are any improvement suggestions.

The FF has only two episodes, so it won't be a long wait or a read

AKHRI TRAIN

EPISODE 1

A dark desolate road outside a village in Rajasthan, and we suddenly see a saree-clad woman run for her life down the street. She is followed by 5 men with knives and torches.

“Is Anupama ne aaj na chodenge, ke samjhe hai khud ne, hamaari lugaiyaan ne azaadi ka paath padhawegi? Pakad saali ko…”

They keep chasing Anupamaa and she notices a dhaba-style hut with benches spread out and an open kitchen. She hides behind the large chulha.

The men follow her and reach the dhaba,

“Kidhar gayi dhoond isne…”

In frustration some of them start toppling the benches and make noise

“Kaun hai be? Bol te thari maa ne bolun thara lagan karaaye, mhare dhabe ki maa-behan kyo kare se?”

A man rushes out challenging the group with a stick, and they reply,

“Anuj bhai, koi aurat athe aate dikhi kya tanne??”

Anuj is visibly irritated with his sleep and shop disturbed, he runs towards them with the stick and charges them,

“Gadhon, dikh rahi kya koi aurat athe? Dikh rahi?

To phir? Kyon meri dukaan todne me lage ho sab ke sab?

Aur kaunsi maa ka doodh pee ke bane ho sab ke sab, ek lugaai ko mane 8 log aa gaye, wo bhi hathiyar ke saath?

Jaao, ghar jaao, aur thodi chullu me paani bharo aur doob maro usme, mard kaho ho sab khud ne”

The group is visibly displeased and leaves. Anuj goes back in to sleep. A desperately scared Anupama tries to peep out from the kitchen and find the men loitering around. She cannot leave that place now. Giving up the attempts to leave, she lets fatigue get better of her and dozes off in the kitchen.

“Baisa… O baisa… Are uth ke zara chai pee lo?”

Anupamaa opens her eyes to see a blurred vision of a turbaned man with tea in an earthen cup. She rubs her eyes, extremely startled, “Maaf kar dijiye, un logo ko mere baare me mat batana”

“Are baitho baitho baisa… mai to kal hi samajh gaya tha, jab gaon ke wo jaahil bewakoof laathi lekar idhar aaye the, par ye na pata tha ki aapko chupne ke liye mhara dhaba hi milega. Ab jab yaha ka pata dhoondh ki liya hai to mhari chai aur kachori kha lo, bade maze ki banata hoon”

Anupama dusts herself off and washes her face at the handpump while Anuj brings face towel for her and stands behind waiting for her. She splashes water on her face and some drops end up on Anuj. He is startled initially but smiles and waits for her to finish. She turns around and sees water splashed on Anuj’s white kurta and exclaims again “Please maaf kar dijiye”

Anuj chuckles “Aur kitni maafi mangogi baisa… main dhaba chalau sun. Kurta sham tak saaf reh jaaye to matlab dhanda na ho saka mhare se aaj, to is baat ka bura to naa hi maanunga”

Anupamaa smiles and Anuj continues, “Par aur der karogi aap to mhari chai aur kachori thandi ho jawegi, uska bura zaroor maanonga”

She sits at a bench and he serves her.

Anuj: “Is gaon ki naa lagti ho aap Baisa… Kaha se ho?”

Anupamaa: “Delhi… Aur mera naam Anupamaa hai, baisa nahi...”

Anuj (smiling): “Thik hai Anupamaa ji, aur main Anuj. Accha ye batao, wo log kyo peecha kar rahe the thara”

Anupamaa just stops taking a sip of the tea and her face turns pale. She gets flashes and memories of shrilling voices of a girl, “Anu chachi, inhe rok lo, manne nahi jaana, rok lo…”

“Anupamaa ji…” she gets back to reality as Anuj speaks to her “Ke hoya? Batao to sahi… Ho sakta hai main aapki madad hi kar doon?”

Anupamaa’s expression of horror turns to anger, “Madad aur aapse? Is gaon mein auraton ki madad koi nahi karta, aurat bhi nahi, mard to bahut door ki baat hai. Aapko bhi pata chalega main kya karke aayi hoon aap bhi mujhe un gaon walon ke hawale kar denge, jinhone Kinjal ko…”

She stops speaking abruptly, “Mujhe jaana chahiye, Delhi se madad laani hogi jald se jald”

Anuj tries to stop her and when she is adamant to leave, holds her by her hand. Anupamaa looks at him with shock and their eyes lock for a brief period of time before they realize what’s going on and Anuj let’s go of her hand. Anupamaa picks up her bag and tries to leave.

“Par station ka rasta gaon se hokar jaata hai, kaise jaogi wahan se aap?”

Anupamaa stops hearing those words and turns around

“Maan lo mhari baat, batao to sahi kya dikkat hai, ho sakta hai main madad kar saku?”

Anupamaa turns around and comes back to the bench and sits with a sigh of helplessness. “Kuch jaldi nahi kiya to Kinjal ko bachaa nahi paungi”

Anuj: “Kaun Kinjal?”

Anupamaa: “Mere pati ke bade bhai aur bhabi ki beti”

Anuj: “Aapke pati? Aapne to kaha aap Delhi se ho”

Anupamaa: “Haan par mere pati Vanraj yahan se hain. Humari shaadi Delhi mein hui thi jab wo wahan business karte the. Kuch saal baad business band ho gaya, koi aur raasta nahi tha to hum unke gaon aa gaye. Unki Maa, bhabi aur bhatiji yaha the. Maa ko main shayad pasand nahi thi kyonki main padhi-likhi sheher se aayi bahu thi. Par maine poori koshish ki”

Anuj kept listening as Anupamaa continued: “Kuch gaon ki zameen bech ke Vanraj ne business ka ghata poora kiya aur phir maa ke saath kheti dekhne laga. Par kuch dino baad uska swabhav aisa badla, jaisa maine usko pehle kabhi nahi dekha tha. Do-teen saalon mein, Maa ke saath reh kar wo bhi gaon ke baaki aadmiyon jaisa ho chuka tha. Gussa, akad, bhabi aur hum par cheekh dena, yaha tak ki haath uthana, aur Kinjal par bhi…”

“5 saal yaha guzaarne ke baad, maine socha ki abh ye hi meri kismet hai. Par maine apni Khushi Kinjal me dhoondh li. Kinjal kabhi school nahi gayi, par mere saath usne padhai ki aur kaafi kuch seekh gayi. Meri apni koi aulaad nahi thi, par uske saath main apne saare dukh bhool gayi. Lekin pichle saal Bhabi ke guzar jaane ke baad, unhone us bacchi ki zabardasti shaadi kara di. Uske sasural mein uska pati use bahut maarta hai to wo yahan bhaag aayi. Wo use wapas bhejne wale the to maine socha ki ab bas… Paani sar se upar jaa chuka hai. Aur…”

Anuj: “Aur…”

Anupamaa: “Aur use lekar yaha se bhaagne ki koshish ki, par Kinjal pakdi gayi. Gaon ke log mere peeche bhi aaye par main yaha chup gayi”

“Ab Delhi jaakar police se madad leni hogi, gaon ki police Sarpanch ke khilaaf kuch nahi karegi”

Anuj’s attentive face changes to shock as he hears, “Sarpanch? Kaun?”

Anupamaa: “Vanraj ki maa, Leela Devi”

Anuj: “To kya Kinjal ki maa ka naam Devika tha?”

Anupamaa: “Haan, par aapko kaise pata”

Anuj: “Kyonki wo mhari behan hai”

Anupamaa looks at Anuj in shock and says, “Par Devika bhabi ne to kisi bhai ki baat nahi ki, na hi unke pariwar walon ne?”

Anuj turns teary eyed as he speaks, “Haan, uski shaadi 15 saal ki umar mein tay ki gayi thi, jiske main sakht khilaaf tha, par wo phir bhi zabardasti kar di gayi. Is baat se naraz hokar main ghar chod aaya aur gaon se bahut door yaha mera dhaba hai. Kabhi Devika se baat karne ki ya use milne ki himmat nahi hui, par laga ki wo bade ghar me hai to khush hi hogi. Use aakhri baar bhi naa dekh saka…”

His expression changes to anger, “Par ab nahi, uski beti ke saath main ye na hone doonga…”

He looks at Anupamaa and continues, “Delhi jaane ka waqt nahi hai, jitna main jaanta hoon, wo log use kal hi sasural bhej denge, to use aaj hi nikaalna hoga. Ek tarkeeb hai mere paas…”

TO BE CONTINUED

Characters

Anupamaa: A well educated urban woman who falls in love with businessman Vanraj and migrates to his village when his business in the city shuts down. She tries to accommodate to her new family and regressive environment and finds solace with her husband's niece as her own daughter. When stakes go high, she takes matters in her own hands.

Anuj: A dhaba owner and an excellent cook, Anuj's tea and kachoris are very famous on the highway. He leaves his family for reasons of his own and lives a contented life till Anupamaa enters it and makes him leave his comfort zone to fight for what's right.

Kinjal: A teenager who recently lost her mother, Kinjal is Anupamaa's only hope in her new insensitive home. She loves getting home-schooled by Anupamaa but is married off very soon to an abusive husband. Young and inexperienced, Anupamaa is her only hope for freedom.

Leela: Matriarch of her house and Sarpanch of her village, she is very particular about her orthodox rules. Education and freedom for women is not something she ever encourages, and she detests Anupamaa for her views and urban background.

Vanraj: Shifter of loyalties as they suit him, Vanraj is an ex-urban businessman who quickly regresses back to being an orthodox villager when he moves back to his village with his wife. While convincing Leela to sell some of the family land to pay his debts, he returns the favour by returning to be a loyal orthodox son for her, making Anupamaa compromise on her former ways of living and venting out his attitude on the women of the family by suppressing them.

"Mrinal ki chitthi" from Stories by Rabindranath tagore❤️

Unres soon!

Episode 1 is added, please share your reviews.

Will try to add English translations of dialogues as well if you guys ask for it

Love this village version of anupama. Love anupama and kinjal bonding

Hope anupama and kinjal meet again

As you said, a very different take on the story! Enjoyed reading it and we do need to find out how they rescue Kinjal and then themselves from all of this.

Its totally different story. But i really like the story which is based on Rajasthan. And wow here Anupama is well educated that i like the most.

Excited to see Kinjal and Anupama's bond

Anuj's dialogues are wonderful. Rajasthani language indeed amazing one.👏

All over very beautiful and unique story. 😳