Raghav Rao - The King of Lanka [ An analogy] - Page 7

Originally posted by: Priya516

Isn’t that sad? Raghav has only given and given in their relationship and all he wants is to be loved unconditionally but what he gets is insecurity and conditional love.. Love is unconditional and doesn’t every body deserve it?

It's sad but that's not something he focuses on. He doesn't expect something in return when he gives, nor does he call his close ones out for this. It is beneath him to remind people what he's done for them so those thoughts are only in his mind. Farhad has witnessed this himself when Amma and Keerti have mistreated Raghav and Raghav in turn has shared his pain with Farhad in this matter many times. The only time he mentioned the imbalance with Pallavi is when talking to his alter ego after the divorce paper scene.

Originally posted by: fria319

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gonna add on to your bit here Ren:

I do agree -

He was abandoned by his mother at 17. He relied on his drive to succeed to survive and not be destitute. It's a crutch for him now - his wealth, his business, etc. It's what kept him going for 10 years. It's not just about money or wealth for him. It's his survival tactic. Like you said, it's a deeply rooted issue.

What is Raghav without his business and wealth? He doesn't know himself because for the past 10 years he's been alone, with just his business/money, and occasionally Farhad. Farhad is probably the only one that knows the importance of Raghav's business to Raghav.

And while we can all sit and say family matters more, and it does to Raghav, and in the end he'll make the right decisions, we can't disregard his dependence on his business/career for his own survival and own well-being (not saying your post said that - just adding on to it). Not everyone can sit and twiddle their thumbs all day long. *cough* Sunny *cough* A lot of people need to be fulfilled by their career to be happy, a lot of people need to earn money to be happy. That's not necessarily a greed they're fulfilling, but a desire to be successful. We all have our inner desires for ourselves and I hope the writers don't diminish that just to make him turn around be like "oh money is not important to me anymore". Like, he doesn't need to be that white washed, if that makes any sense.

I just hope they don't completely ignore that its actually ok to have that drive to be successful, its ok to have that drive to earn money, to have money etc. It's just as Pallavi always says/implies, the way he goes about doing it needs to be amended because it affects others.

I totally agree with everything you said. I also wanted to add that Raghav is an artist at heart and a great entrepreneur. His business isn't just about strong cash flow but also about creating works of art and selling them across the country. He take great pride in craftsmanship and in beautiful things. You see it in the design of his mansion, in his clothes, and the way he carries himself. That confidence comes from the success that he has achieved. If you remember his words during the TV interview, he spent sleepless nights working hard to build his business. I am assuming he had no one to fund or support, so he started from zero.

Other than material benefits, this sort of journey changes and molds you as a person. It becomes part of your identity. You can't just throw it away, and his business acumen is pretty strong, which means even if he had to start from scratch again he could neither be or remain middle class for long, nor could he suppress his strong entrepreneurial spirit. He would become rich and successful all over again. The money will follow. It's not money itself but the achievement, the power, and the sense of security of being able to 'control his destiny' to an extent is what Raghav thrives on. As others have said, it's not greed at all.

Originally posted by: AnushkhaA

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I somehow think he needs to be reminded that often. For a person who only knows how to give love and give it till he is bled dry, not experiencing any care or affection since a tumulous and painful ten years, constantly demeaned and humiliated and having his heart broken..... it is very difficult to accept the fact that someone can love him so much that his ruin might destroy another human being.

He needs someone to tell him that again, a few times more, drill that into his thick skull... that now his life his not solely his own. His suicidal tendencies as we have seen... ready to shoot Mandaar and get a life imprisonment sentence, ready to shoot himself dead... just proves that he has no qualms about throwing his life away for the one he loves so desperately.

Arre, koi usse bhi toh bataye ki him dying would automatically kill the very person he is trying to save. He doesn't do it intentionally. That's how these past ten years have made him. Self destructive and no hope for receiving love in the amount he can give.

If only someone could make him understand that, he'll stop taking such huge risks --- obsession, survival tactic, desire, passion or not.

His abandonment issues, due to the actions of the person he loved most in the world, his Amma, has become deeply embedded in his mind and heart. Not only that, his sense of self-worth has always been connected to her approval, even today. It's less obvious these days but it's still there, under the surface.

Regarding his self-destructive tendencies, well a lot of stems from the sense of utter failure to protect his family 10 years ago or to foresee what would happen to them. We know it was out of his control and totally unexpected but to a 17-year-old boy who had limited life experience, the tragedy created in him a desperation to stop at nothing to protect family because who knows if life would give him a second chance. This is the same boy who made a mess in his house to dig out his mother's sewing kit, to sew something on to her hanky. He was a happy kid but life burst his bubble in a terrible way, after which nothing was every good enough. This is why you see his perfectionist tendencies, his OCD, his desire to go to extremes to get what he wants, whether it's for himself or for the people he loves.

Yes, he looks after himself and enjoys his wealth, but he doesn't have much self-love even today. This is why the song kaise mujhe tum mil gayi and that scene was impactful. He couldn't believe that a kind, good woman like Pallavi could love him and care for him, look after his smallest of needs, without any conditions. Well, he's in for a rude awakening when he sees that she does indeed have conditions and I expect his low sense of self-worth to come up at some point.

Originally posted by: joliefemme

You know Pallavi did reprimand him after he pulled the Mandar killing drama. She told him how stupid he was being right? But considering his insecurities and his abandonment issues, she needs to be more persistent in letting him know. The issue is also that Pallavi isn't very vocal and less expressive in comparison. I hated that they didn't address this issue in detail after the mandar chapter was over. They should have spoken how he was willing to kill himself without thinking how she would live without him.

I guess her not leaving him in this track may give him hopes that she loves him to a point not to leave him (my friend says that Raghav will compel her to stay but I want her to stay back of her own accord coz he will die if she leaves and she knows that).

This track will hopefully give him some sort of confidence that Pallavi is in this relationship for good and will never give up on them. Afterall his mom abandoned him and if Pallavi doesn't that gives him some kind of assurance right?

My thoughts are all over the place because this situation is too subjective and complex to break down.

It is a complex situation indeed, but that only makes it more intriguing right?

I am curious to see whether Amma will leave him or not, or whether both his mother and wife decide not to physically abandon him but put some distance between them. That's going to hurt a lot. Remember the scene in the Hyderabad schedule where he asked Farhad why other people's mothers were physically distant but emotionally close to them while it was the reverse in his case? (that broke my heart by the way). I don't think any of that is gone.

Pallavi is vocal but not with Raghav, maybe she will learn that he does indeed need some verbal reassurances.

Originally posted by: fria319

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Yeah I agree. I mean his insecurities are deep. No matter how much we think he should be secure in his relationship - the fact of the matter is his relationship with Pallavi is very new and has barely started. He's got 10 years of issues to work through before he can stop his insecurities from getting him into bad situations.

Not only that, the fact that he forced her to marry him has always troubled him. Even if she explicitly chose a life with him later on, that guilt still weighs on his mind. We saw him mention that in his drunken state at the D-house door.

Oh, what a complex and amazing character he is!

Originally posted by: gata

the problem is that Pallavi now comes across as a girl with double standards, this is a man who put a gun on his head so she can live , her love for him is full of conditions

I wouldn't say its full of conditions. In reality, you don't and can't continue to be in a relationship when your ideals differ. It's just not a feasible relationship. What's happening now is the compromise that comes in any relationship - for the average couple, these disagreements on ideologies, the compromises, the debates happen pre-marriage. That's not the case here, so we're seeing all this come to its head now.

They are not going to show a dark love story where the girl is somehow ok with all his illegal activities. This is not HBO.

She's only ok with some - i.e. when its for the greater good & until it starts to affect others. At the end of the day, while I only blame Raghav for maybe about 5% of what happened to Abhishek, there still are other ways to obtain diamonds, there are ways to do things "cleanly" (lets just ignore the actual ethics of diamond mining). So there are ways to change his business so he can still be successful, still retain his wealth, but not do risky, illegal, things.

Also, her asking him to promise not to partake in illegal activities is a normal ask. It wasn't like she asked as soon as she fell in love with him. She knew about and then brought it up later. Him breaking his promise, and then her feeling betrayed by it... I wouldn't call that a condition.

Loving someone unconditionally doesn't mean we side with them when they're morally, legally wrong. It just means being there for them, supporting them, when they still make these mistakes. Pallavi isn't going to go after him legally. Pallavi may become emotionally distant from him, but she won't leave him fully. She loves him too much to do that.

Also, just because we are upset, or mad, or disappointed at someone we love, it doesn't lessen the love we have for them. It doesn't make that love any less unconditional.

Originally posted by: inlieu

It's sad but that's not something he focuses on. He doesn't expect something in return when he gives, nor does he call his close ones out for this. It is beneath him to remind people what he's done for them so those thoughts are only in his mind. Farhad has witnessed this himself when Amma and Keerti have mistreated Raghav and Raghav in turn has shared his pain with Farhad in this matter many times. The only time he mentioned the imbalance with Pallavi is when talking to his alter ego after the divorce paper scene.

True!! He might not express it but who wouldn’t want to be loved unconditionally? his insecurities are there because he has not experienced unconditional love. When someone reciprocates what he gives and he gets to experience it himself then his insecurities will vanish. They all want him to change or mend his ways , is that unconditional love? His insecurities are still there and that’s what makes him act the way he does. Nobody has addressed it . He feels that he doesn’t deserve any love and the family that he has now might leave him and this is what makes him lie to make them stay with him. His mother, sister and wife need to constantly voice out that they are there no matter what happens . This constant reassurance is what he needs to.. He hasn’t experienced a mom being there for you no matter what good or bad things you have done . She left him for 10 years . Same with his sister and same with Pallavi. They haven’t shown him that they are there no matter what happens . So his insecurities and lying are justified from his POV.

Originally posted by: fria319

I wouldn't say its full of conditions. In reality, you don't and can't continue to be in a relationship when your ideals differ. It's just not a feasible relationship. What's happening now is the compromise that comes in any relationship - for the average couple, these disagreements on ideologies, the compromises, the debates happen pre-marriage. That's not the case here, so we're seeing all this come to its head now.

They are not going to show a dark love story where the girl is somehow ok with all his illegal activities. This is not HBO.

She's only ok with some - i.e. when its for the greater good & until it starts to affect others. At the end of the day, while I only blame Raghav for maybe about 5% of what happened to Abhishek, there still are other ways to obtain diamonds, there are ways to do things "cleanly" (lets just ignore the actual ethics of diamond mining). So there are ways to change his business so he can still be successful, still retain his wealth, but not do risky, illegal, things.

Also, her asking him to promise not to partake in illegal activities is a normal ask. It wasn't like she asked as soon as she fell in love with him. She knew about and then brought it up later. Him breaking his promise, and then her feeling betrayed by it... I wouldn't call that a condition.

Loving someone unconditionally doesn't mean we side with them when they're morally, legally wrong. It just means being there for them, supporting them, when they still make these mistakes. Pallavi isn't going to go after him legally. Pallavi may become emotionally distant from him, but she won't leave him fully. She loves him too much to do that.

Also, just because we are upset, or mad, or disappointed at someone we love doesn't lessen the love we have for them. It doesn't make that love any less unconditional.

But why won't she go after him legally or help the ACP? She wanted to get justice for Mandaar, was willing to send Keerti to jail because she stood for the truth, so why not in this case? Doesn't make sense.

Originally posted by: inlieu

But why won't she go after him legally or help the ACP? She wanted to get justice for Mandaar, was willing to send Keerti to jail because she stood for the truth, so why not in this case? Doesn't make sense.

Bc she still human and has a soft spot for her husband. LOL. People are allowed to be selective in who they seek justice for/against. And I think that's all they're showing. Technically, Raghav's crime wasn't against someone, just the system. I really don't think Pallavi will blame Abhishek's death on Raghav. But she will associate it with his business. Whereas both Mandaar & Keerti - when she thought she was the criminal - both committed crimes against people. That's a different caliber of crime and thats why they get different punishments, and why Pallavi would react to them differently.

Originally posted by: fria319

Bc she still human and has a soft spot for her husband. LOL. People are allowed to be selective in who they seek justice for/against. And I think that's all they're showing. Technically, Raghav's crime wasn't against someone, just the system. I really don't think Pallavi will blame Abhishek's death on Raghav. But she will associate it with his business. Whereas both Mandaar & Keerti - when she thought she was the criminal - both committed crimes against people. That's a different caliber of crime and thats why they get different punishments, and why Pallavi would react to them differently.

In that case, what about Ayi? Why does she go scot free in Pallavi's sphere, if not legally then on moral grounds?