I am done [Abortion track- A OS] - Page 4

Originally posted by: BrhannadaArmour

AnushkhaA, I do find "die before letting any man touch her" to be a disappointing hyperbole from your fictional Raghav, but you have every right to rewrite the characters as you see fit. If you don't want to tell us who got slapped for Amruta getting an abortion, that's your mystique. Please note: I sincerely wrote "satisfyingly dramatic story" and "I liked how Raghav did all the talking." If you want me to judge the characters' traits from more than one scene, please write as much as you wish, but I am going to understand your characters based on whatever I read.

Now, going on a tangent to reply to your PS:

I am entertained by the faults in Raghav's character, and I enjoy seeing him in tragic or introspective situations. If I have a "peeve" as you put it, it's when other characters pretend that Raghav's misdeeds never happened, or when they give him credit for what Pallavi accomplishes in spite of his working against her.

Vijay Deshmukh is responsible for whatever the creative team makes him do. He used to be a sympathetic character, complementary to Sharada, and now he's a spoilsport. If I'm reading the forum rules correctly, insulting names for characters such as VD (venereal disease?) and Sanki are not acceptable, but since they're the norm here, I guess my using the character's real name comes across as biased.

Fun fact: Pallavi called Raghav "Sanki" from the jilebī scene onwards, long before Raghav started to use this insult for Vijay.

I started a thread that is a score card for all the times Vijay and Raghav have offended each other. Everyone may feel free to comment there.

I don't think Vijay was right to throw Pallavi out, or to ask Raghav to drink his foot-wash, but I felt more sympathy for Vijay than for Raghav in those scenes because it took a lot for Vijay to become so hateful. Is Vijay supposed to forget that Raghav said, "Your daughter is at my feet with the other girls who chase me?" Vijay suffered a heart attack after Raghav showed him obscene photographs and said, "That's your daughter next to me," and rattled off the pet names that Pallavi allegedly used to convince him to sell the shop. Vijay's son spent a night in jail for crimes that Raghav directed him to commit. I don't expect Vijay to get over these injuries, any more than I expect Raghav to get over the memory of his father lapping up tea like a dog.

If anyone disagrees with me, I am not taking offense at all. Bhinna-rucir hi lokaḥ.

I think you completely missed my point. Which I stressed repeatedly. Stop reading into it so much. I didn't analyze all the hyperboles, metaphors, allegories etc while writing. Its a fanfic not a thesis.

As far as Raghav is concerned. Atleast I don't look over his crimes. I get him as he does. He is shown like a devil may care, alpha male who has quite a few flaws to boot. Vijay Deshmukh's character could have been deserving of my sympathy had his anger remained till a certain point.

He started playing inhuman to take his personal revenge. I am not against him being angry, rude or even insult him as Raghav deserves it. But he had stated behaving like a complete moron from a point. Telling Raghav to drink the water after washing his feet... going as far as threatening Milind that he will kick him out if he helps them, refusing to give blood to Raghav... I mean come on.. you will let the man die? That was completely unnecessary... as far as Nikhil is concerned.. I haven't watched all the episodes but was he tricked into doing something wrong or was he just involved in Raghav's business? I don't know.

Raghav repeatedly tried to apologize for his mistakes. It takes a lot of courage to do that as well. Staying with them... even though he got repeatedly humiliated. Why the hell would he do that? It wasn't forced. It was because he understood his mistakes. He was trying to rectify himself. Asking for forgiveness accepting you are wrong takes a hell lot of courage.

And as for Vijay Deshmukh doing what the creative team directs.... dude! Everyone is doing what the creative team is directing including Raghav putting a tracker in Pallavi's bag or his drunken act outside D house (which were some of your points of contention if I remember correctly). So that point doesn't hold at all.

PS: a fun fact: I use Vijay Deshmukh's real name too.. I haven't given him a moniker except when Raghav is telling so if you have observed.

this is such a good story

i love your writing

thanks for the tag Anushka

this was really penned well--you have brought out the emotions of each character in a way I never imagined

such a fine OS, you write so well, absolutely loved the Raghvi here. Sensible and rooted, and above all still very in character because Raghav will always trust Pallavi and treat her well.

Thank you for sharing! 👍🏼

Just Amazinggg amd perfect 😍❤😍❤😍❤

This was totally different and beautiful take ob abortion track. The way pallavi finally walk away from d family and trusted raghav was so beautifully described. I literally loved raghav's last conversation with vijay deskmukh about pallavi being diamond 💖💖 you write so awesome writer 👏👏