Udariyaan: Two shots

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Posted: 4 years ago
#1

Hello everyone, Idk about y'll but I am pissed off. And because ranting isn't enough, this is the storyline I'd keep in my mind, and say goodbye to the jeeja sali romance. This is a Tejo centric OS, with everyone else on sidelines.

UPDATED.PT 2- PAGE 2


"Haan dekh lo...agar itni hi pansad thi toh mujhse shaadi hikyon ki? Besharmi ki koi had nahin hai tumhare liye.Main kuch bhi bolti hoon toh ignore karte ho" Jasmine spoke with disdain to Fateh who saw a book in the bookstore, as Jasmine was dragging him to weekly shopping trip.

He's walking behind his wife, carrying her shopping bags, mentally preparing himself for his father's disappointing glares when he'd see the bill. Suddenly his eyes caught glimpse of a book and he couldn't stop himself. He went over there and took the book out from display. "Key to solving conflicts" by Tejo Kaur.

"A bestseller"... he muttered, and longingly ran his hand on the cover of the book, when his wife Jasmine Kaur Virk interrupted him.

"Besharmi... Wo toh hai. Tabhi toh apni saali se shaadi ki maine. Aur tum kabse moral lecture dene lag gayin...Tumne bhi toh apne jeeja ke upar khoob dore daale hue hain" Fateh replied in equally poisonous tone. To inflame the fight, he bought the book too, knowing it would hurt Jasmine.

Both Jasmine and Fateh got out of the mall, and started to walk towards through dimly lit way to the basement parking to get their car. These fights, these angry jabs, that's all there was in their marriage. Only once Tejo was gone from their lives, they recognised just how dependent they're on her. Fateh often wondered whether he ever loved jasmine, or was it just Tejo's shadow which made him feel that she'll be the love of his life. Five years earlier, none of them could have imagined that they would be in this position. The day Tejo left, their dreams, their lights, the bright future, all was dimmed.

"Hey bhai" Mahi welcomed as they entered the home.

"Mahiiii...tu kab aayi?are pehle batana tha na...??" Fateh was overjoyed to see her. Three years ago, she'd moved out to Mumbai for her job.

"Kuch nahin... bas kuch ghanton ke liye aayi hoon. Thodi der main nikalna hai" Mahi replied calmly. When Tejo left, her respect for Fateh was never the same. She had started to warm up, but it was not the same.

"Agar itni hi jaldi thi toh aana hi nahin tha na...Koi meharbaani thode na kar rahi ho" Jasmine chipped in. Mahi was the first to ostracize her and fateh after they got married, and she would never forget it.

"Don't worry. Tumhare ghar nahin aayi. Ye mera ghar hai. Jab tum donon apne khud ke paison se kuch bana loge na, wahan kadam bhi nahin rakhne wali. Mahi had learnt long ago, if you keep quiet, people will always walk over you. And considering none of Jasmine or Fateh contributed to the family, this was a taunt which hit them home.

"Are chodo na...bata bete kaise aana hua" their mom interrupted them. It was bad enough their family was already broken, almost a sham, now the kids couldn't even stay in a room without clawing at each other's faces.

"Wo mom...bas ek flight hai. Beech main thoda time tha, toh socha ek baar chakkar laga doon." Mahi replied.

"are ye toh achha hua...but tu ja kahan rahi hai." her mother further asked.

"Vancouver." Mahi replied.

"Vancouver...canada...tu canada ja rahi hai...?" fateh asked her. For several reasons this was a place which always filled him with despair and regrets even when he'd never been there.

"Haan...kuch kaam hai...toh main ek mahine ke liye canada ja rahi hoon." Mahi replied, not wanting to explain why she's going there.

"Aisa kya kaam hai. Itni door ja rahi ho toh batakar toh jao." her dad entered and asked her.

"Kisi ki shaadi mein ja rahi hoon main." Mahi replied. Her relationship had changed with everyone, and she wasn't the baby anymore. In fact with elder brothers like Fateh and Amrik, whom their father didn't consider much because of their string of awful decisions and judgments, Mahi was the one whom he considered his equal, his inheritor.

"Kiski?' he knew Mahi would tell him honestly.

"Tejo."

Edited by Bluekohl - 4 years ago

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princessy thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago
#2

Loved it! At this moment this is the storyline I am rooting for!

Eagerly waiting for part-2

Edited by princessy - 4 years ago
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Posted: 4 years ago
#3

Yeah😍😍😍😍


I love this. Ab ayega na maja. I can almost envision this. This is how JasFa would be if they ever get together.

And Mahi ❤️❤️❤️

Dil jeet liya!

Tejo is a published author 😍

Brilliant twist. I love it. Please continue.

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Posted: 4 years ago
#4

Now this is a story I would love to watch!!! Can't wait for the next part !! 👍


If only the makers could take this route!

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Posted: 4 years ago
#5

Amazing hope there is a part two where even that fool of a man who is a shame to the creation of the entire human specie has to attend the wedding. Where he and that devil reincarnated shurpanaka miss billu Rani champa chameli our very own bhagodi dulhan a marathon winner burn in the remains of hell . As they stand there watching Tejo happy with a man who loves her and values her intelligence and respects her individuality. While their so called ibadat premkatha leading to a marriage lies in shambles.

BarrmHP thumbnail
Posted: 4 years ago
#6

Jasfa's marriage would be exactly like this and I love feisty Mahi. Looking forward to the next part!

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Posted: 4 years ago
#7

I love this! With my ever growing disappointment in Fateh, hate for Meanjolika and worry for Tejo, this was relaxing to read. This is EXACTLY what will happen to JaFa if they ever get married to each other. I love that Tejo is strong on her own accord and that she's an author! Mahi is forever a queen and I love her bond with her dad. The twist at the end made me grin. Thank you for writing this!! 🤗❤️

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Posted: 4 years ago
#8

Wonderful!!! Please continue soon :)

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Posted: 4 years ago
#9

even i'm done with the show. i couldn't watch episodes as i lost connection. everyone were behaving as dumb



this was awesome shot. write i'm quiet excited to read part-2. update soon

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Posted: 4 years ago
#10

PART 2

Vancouver, a week later

“Dr. Tejo Kaur, may I come in?”

“Mahi! Oh my god!!! You came…tum sach mein aayi ho?” Tejo beamed at Mahi.

“Well I wouldn’t miss your wedding! And I’m gonna be a bridesmaid for the first time.I’m so excited you know”. Mahi didn’t wait for any permission and entered the office and hugged her ex sil, and since then a sister.

“Oh god!!Tumne mujhe bataya kyon nahin? Main khud aa jaati..!! I feel so bad that you had to come alone. Koi pareshani toh nahin hui? I’m so sorry..” Tejo rambled on.

“Tejo…I wanted to surprise you. And you know I’m not a kid”.

“sorry…”Tejo sheepishly smiled.

“So… Dr Tejo… this is your office. HoD at such young age, international bestseller… and OMG! I loved the pics you sent me. And lemme tell you jeeju is superhot. So when can I meet Ryan Mortensen in person?”

“Wow! You really want to meet him. Well if you happen to like him, please seduce him before the wedding. I don’t think I’ll survive three failed marriages.” Tejo said nonchalantly, but Mahi’s expressions faltered. Tejo immediately noticed.

“Oh god!Mahi… please. It’s a joke. Come on…please don’t get upset. I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Tejo offered her apology.

“ Tejo…it’s just. I’m not upset…everything was so unfair to you. How can you…” Mahi couldn’t find any words.

Tejo smiled. “Yep it was…but it’s my past. They are who they’re and I’m me. You don’t think I’d cry about it my entire life…”she paused, and then continued. “Idid everything I could… and now it’s just an important lesson in my life,nothing more. And now, I feel like it’s for the best. I’m happier than I ever was, or ever could be in that environment.”

Mahi looked at her with a smile. Not many people could have this resilience, gone through so much and still came out of it so beautifully. She’s glad Tejo came in their lives, at least for her, it’s a miracle. She learnt so much from her, and even after everything, Fateh’s obsession with Jasmine, heartbreaking divorce, and bitter relations Tejo remained a close confidant for her. Tejo did not lose a sister, she had gained a true sister, not by blood but still closer than any of her family.

“Well I’ve no interest in eloping with jeeju but I’mma still flirt with him.” Mahi replied with a wink and smile.

“Oh honey that’s your birthright.” Tejo laughed, and went on... “So we’ve lots of stuff to do…dresses etc…Ryan and his family are doing mostly everything but I gotta do a few things myself. And you gotta help me.”

“And you’ve my undivided attention. Anything you need, anything you want.”

Three weeks later

“You look beautiful” Mahi looked at the reflection as Tejo was sitting, all set to get married in a few hours.

“I’m scared”Tejo whispered.

“anyone would be…Tejo…”Mahi didn’t really know what to say, words were caught in her throat. Tejo had been through so much and she didn’t know whether she could say or do anything which would be wiser than Tejo herself knew.

A tear fell from Tejo’s eyes.

“Tejo,everything in your life has been so messy. Almost entire life you did everything for everyone else, and still you got betrayal and pain. There isn’t really an explanation.People are who they are. Fateh, Jasmine, you family, they are selfish and takers. You’re a giver and you gave them all you could. But there is only so much you can do without burning out yourself. You’re not my sister by blood,yet you are closer to me than anyone else. I’ve known Ryan for less than a month, and I know he loves you. More than anything or anyone. You’re the kinda people who grow with each other till you are 90 years old, and still hold each other’s hands.”

Tejo chuckled.

“Oh btw there’s a surprise for you too.” Tejo said.

“What?”Mahi asked her as there was knock on the door.

After a few seconds, Khushbeer entered.

“Papa?”Mahi was in shock.

“Well someone needs to walk the bride down the aisle. I’m sorry hum tumhe nahin batapaye…everything happened in such a rush.”

Edited by Bluekohl - 4 years ago

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