i think it goes without saying that the male characters in this show (aside from babuji from time to time) have nothing but cow fodder in their heads.
now that that's said, you're right. anupama is so indoctrinated, that she just cannot get out of that mentality of a woman being the worker of the house. in her mind the premise is 'ALL household chores are ALWAYS a woman's job' she's trying hard to not indoctrinate her kids, which is probably why paakhi does nothing, and shes trying hard to pretend she doesnt want kinjal to do the same, which is why she isnt actively 'asking' kinjal to do things, but is not actively trying to make life easier for her either (by asking her bum sons to pick up the slack)
and the shah family itself - they dont want to change, they want all the roles to be as they always have. the point of this show was never to show us that roles can be reversed or altered, or that families can help to re-structure themselves to make it so everyone can achieve their hopes and dreams. it was just to show that a woman can be mahan if she decides to do everything for everyone all the time, and if she doesnt, shes a garbage woman who deserves no respect from the family.
all that talk baa did about not forcing kinjal, or not making her work 'too' hard, or that 'everyone was pitching in'. not once, NOT ONCE did she talk about how the other WORKING family members were contributing too, i.e toshu and vanraj. in fact, it seemed like those two were given a pass BECAUSE they were working, unlike kinjal, and obviously anupama. because how dare anyone even think that kinjal and anupama are the SAME as vanraj and toshu - all are working, all are tired and all need rest.
kinjal will always be my favourite character, even if the writers decide to butcher her character. she's the face of the 'new age' of women, and she's being torn down because the orthodox, disgusting MCPs in the writing room dont know how to manage the idea of a woman *shock-horror* actually managing her work and family.
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