Saiyyonee:
- here's the link for the song for your reference (:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIc_C6QDFVM
He gripped the branch of the tree, the sharp edges digging into his skin and drawing blood. His hand had grown numb to the pain, not that it was comparable to the pain that had latched onto his heart. He cursed his wretched fate for playing yet another cruel game with him, as if he hadn’t seen enough. Shiva Pandya, the angry young man of Somnath, rarely cried but the tears that were forming in his eyes betrayed this assumption.
Saiyyonee tere pyaar mein, yaadoon ke aitbar mein
Jiyunga intezaar mein, kiya faisla kiya faisla
He had lost her – his first friend, his first enemy, his first crush, but most importantly, his first love. He had let her slip right through his fingers and into his brother’s hands in just a blink of an eye. All the years her had spent pushing her away from him and his heart had failed to produce the desired outcome and instead he had fallen for her each and every day. Had he readily accepted his feelings and expressed them to her, maybe the situation would have been different. Maybe he would have been the one getting married to her.
Saiyyonee tere pyaar mein, yaadoon ke aitbar mein
Jiyunga intezaar mein, kiya faisla kiya faisla
He had figured with their long and extensive history that she would have developed the same sort of feelings for him. In fact, he had decided to wait for her confession, naively believing that there was love for him beyond the charade she put on for Dev. He had never seen her as carefree and uninhibited with anyone as she was with him. Her passion, aggression, and anger were solely reserved for him and him only – a fact he often reveled in and took pride in.
Woh saari baatein, woh beete lamhe
Khwaabon khayalon mein hain rawaan
He thought about one particular argument they had that had escalated into more than just a verbal fight. It was over some silly misunderstanding, as always, and he had started it, as always. It had been with the usual back and forth bickering, smart aleck comments firing from both directions. When he was just about annoyed with her insistent need to reply back to everything he said, he grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her towards the front door of the store. Completely fed up with his consistent behavior of a neanderthal, Raavi had pulled her elbow out his grasp and grabbed him by the collar.
Her eyes flared up in anger and she pushed him backwards, retracing the steps back to the counter. His back had hit the counter and he roughly grabbed her by the arms and twirled her around to swap their positions. He caged her body between his body and the counter, his hands traveling down her arms and intertwining with hers. Their noses touched and their eyes never left each other. He had looked down at her lips and her breath hitched at the silence and tension that was brewing in between them. He had just leaned in when the bell attached to the door had rung, signaling the entrance of a customer.
Raavi has pushed him to the side and ran away from the store, but he had felt it. He had felt the palpitating tension between the two of them and he knew it wasn’t just a figment of his imagination nor was it one-sided. That single interaction had given him the hope that there was a future for them that didn’t involve screaming matches between the two, but something a lot calmer and more beautiful.
Tera tabasuum teri adayein, woh ankahi teri dastan
Woh sukoon ka sama
His thoughts diverted to another memory; one he had cherished since the day it happened. Raavi had gone on a camping trip with her college friends, a trip that Shiva vehemently opposed but had no good reason to verbally express his concern. In just a few hours of her absence, he had become anxious and irritable, snapping at the customers that would pass by at the store. His hands itched to text her for updates and had almost done so but realized that he might not even get a decent response from her. It was when he was heading back to the house after a long and unproductive day at the store that he received a distressed call from Raavi. He had left for her campsite immediately after hearing her sobs, his heart thundering from fear of something happening to her.
He had found her absolutely fine, no scratch in sight. In fact, she had been waiting with her hands on her hips, her foot tapping the floor in anticipation. He had rushed towards her, engulfing her in his arms, the worry evident in his voice and actions. The huge emergency had turned out to be her and her incompetent friends’ inability to start up a fire. He had angrily set it up for him and then let out a string of curses towards her, masking his concern for her with anger. Humiliated by the way he had yelled at her in front of her friends, she had run out into the woods crying. He had of course run right after her and chased her incessantly, their path leading them in all sorts of directions.
By the time he had caught up to her, they were completely lost, and she had forgotten all about her anger. She hugged him tightly in fright and refused to let go, in fear that if she left him for even a second, they would be separated. Shiva had found a clearing in the woods and had set up a small fire for them to sit beside while they wait for morning light. Raavi had snuggled into his arms for warmth, her head right against his heart. His arms were wrapped around her own, and he had put his head on top of hers. Later, she had fessed up that she had called him because she knew he would have come no matter what. Shiva had wanted to tell her that he would have laid his life on the line for her with just once glance from her, but she had fallen asleep in his embrace. This is what serenity felt like to him and all he wanted was to stay like this forever, with her in his arms.
Saiyyonee tere pyaar mein
Yaadoon ke aitbaar mein
He vigorously wiped his tears, determination replacing his self-pity. The moments they had shared weren’t a spur of the moment, forgettable events. No, they meant something to him, and he knew they had to have meant something to her as well. It was quite clear that she wouldn’t be making the first step any time soon and he had to take the initiative. He had to put aside whatever fake grievances he had pretended to have for all these years and be completely honest with her. Obviously, he didn’t expect her to jump straight into his arms, but he had to try. He owed that much to himself and her, hopefully clueless self. He wasn’t going down without a fight.
He would wait for her to realize his love for him, but he was done waiting to express his.
Jiyunga intezar mein
Kiya faisla kiya faisla
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