Originally posted by: Idiotboxer
The complexity of Aastha's situation 25 years ago has always intrigued me. She sacrificed her career, her independence to marry Shaan. Perhaps even accepted the unfair practices of the Sabharwal house for the sake of her husband and child. But when her old and ailing parents were left in a dire situation, she could not turn her face away. Women are always expected to make compromises with respect to her parents after marriage. I have seen how women in my life accepted many unjust demands of their in-laws to keep peace and avoid conflict. The same was expected of Aastha too. It was time for her to do something for those who gave birth to her, nurtured her, stood by her side through thick and thin. She could not leave them at the mercy of Tej Sabharwal. She knew how humiliating it would be for her parents to be dependent for life on her in-laws. Sure they would understand and accept that fate. But Aastha would never be able to look herself in the mirror. She wanted to take the responsibility of both her parents and her in-laws' family. Tej and Devi would not have that. She pleaded with Shaan to make them understand but Shaan had no say infront of his brother. She never asked him to leave them and come with her. She never asked him to break that family. She only asked him to support her but he remained silent. Aastha understood there was no place for her in that house. She could not stay there and fight till eternity when the person who brought her in that house did not support her.
Therefore she decided to leave along with her son. They stopped her again. Shaurya was a Sabharwal. The eldest male child of a powerful family. They would not let him go with her. They threatened her with their power. They threatened to take her to court. Aastha was left helpless. She knew she could not afford a long dragging court case with the influential Sabharwals with her meagre salary. She also had the resposnsiblity of her parents on her shoulders. Even if she fought them, she would risk damaging Shaurya's childhood. She did not want him to see his parents fighting a tug of war with him in the middle. She did not want his childhood be lost in the alleys of the courthouse. While discussing Aastha's past with Kanchan, Gayatri said that a mother can go through extreme difficulties but couldn't bear her child getting hurt or something along those lines. Aastha's condtion reminded me of the tale of two mothers who were asked to prove their rights on the child by pulling it to her side. Aastha felt it was better to let him go than fight over him. Then again she said while leaving that she will fight for her son till the end. Perhaps both Aastha and the writers forgot that.
The Sabharwals were well to do people. Shaurya was pampered by everyone in that family. His wishes were always prioritised. Aastha thought he would be fine there. She perhaps didn't think about the feeling of abandonment he would face. But parents often give more importance to material needs of their children than emotional needs. Maybe she thought Shaurya would soon be over the pain of her leaving. She had a difficult life ahead. She couldn't risk dragging Shaurya into that. Parents don't want to make mistakes when it comes to their children, but end up making bigger ones due to wrong decisions. Aastha tried to take the best decision for Shaurya given the circumstances at hand, but it turned out to be the wrong one. She perhaps never thought that she would not be able to meet him even once in 25 years. She didn't have an idea that Devi would block all her attempts to reach her son. She didn't force her way then because she didn't want to create a ruckus that would disturb Shaurya even more. She couldn't foresee how Shaan would turn out to be even a worse father than husband. That he would not be able to give love and attention to their son even while being so close to him.
This is what I could gather about her character from what has been shown so far. I do not necessarily agree with all her decisions. I still don't know why she didn't try to contact him when he was older. Even then I feel for her. More so because despite life handing out so many blows, she took them in her stride and moved along in this journey called life. On the way helping others to make their life a little better. Apno ke liye to sab karte hai. Jo dusro ke liye karte hai, wahi duniya badalte hai. True she could not do anything for her son. But I still don't think she was a bad mother. Like Anokhi said, "Maa galat ho sakti hai, par buri nahi."
You penned it excellent.however,just to add few points...
As you mentioned she didn't tried to meet him when he grew old.The point is no,when he was a child Sabarwals never made Aasthaa meet him, he grew with the false allegtions on AAsthaa and has developed an hatred for her.Also,in his birthday track it was mentioned he was there after 8 yrs,may be after 16 or 18 he went abroad for studies? Or even if he would have stayed,he studied at SIAC so even there was no chance of meeting him.........Sabarwals must be having great security kaash hostel ko bhi de dete............
Plus Devi always had accounts of Shaurya . So,even she would have not let him meet her.They met at Gurdaspur as it was an debate competition no one knew AAsthaa would be there..........
In episode 1 st week episodes Aasthaa was shown stealing glances of her son with moist eyes,she even made an attempt to talk with him but he ,beijjtai kar di usne.Even it was mentioned ki she fought for him but Tej made influence of his power but then he writers forgot and they made AAsthaa as sacrificing...........
She always owned her decision of abandoning him,she even mentioned Shaan in bullet track that Shaurya ka gussa jayaj hai.
Her love for her son was unconditional,she never wanted him to love her back what she always wanted was that her son just shouldn't hate her.neither love nor hate was she wanted from her son.
Even when Gayatri came to know about Shakhi from kanchan she was-
i don't want Anokhi in Sabarwals as I have seen what Aasthaa bhabhi has to went through.SAbarwals ne kya kiya hoga?
Aasthaa's sufferings were no lesser,ulta I will say more than Shaurya.
As,though Shaurya was barely 4 he ahd all his relations at one place.AAsthaa knew though she would have taken Shaurya along with her he was at lost,didn't she mentions usse 5 relations chiin jaate,he would still have been emotionally broken.
It was like Shaurya was destined to suffer,she just made his sufferings lesser at that time by letting him with his 5 relations and suffering her own self,well she didn't knew at that time that Sabarwal's won't will let even meet her son.
It was not the case like normal separation of parents,in it the child is shared even if custody is at one paret the other meets at weekends,yahan she was blocked so she could never putforth her side her pain infront of Shaurya.
If shaurya would break emotionally he had his 5 relations consoling him.
Who did she had?
She had parents who were old age,she could not even allow her own self to break infront of them if she would have let it,her parents would have died internally.....The blame game starts......We sees everyone sympathising with Shaurya's pain but what I feel is atleast he could erupt,while Aasthaa it has been like slow-poison killing her own self.She still suffers, bears hatred of her own son.longing for son, and even can't blame him as his hatred is justified even according to her......
It's just Shaurya breaks hence,everyone sympathizes but AAsthaa she stands firm on her grounds which never means she doesn't get hurt........
Uska dard alag uchaai par hai,may be itna ki koi bhi usse samajh nahi paa raha.....And she still bears wearing a smile and standing firm..........
Edited by Gayatri9 - 5 years ago