Thank you everyone for such overwhelming response. Before I start I would just say this is not just an ordinary story. Neither Maan nor Geet are perfect people here. they are both imperfect and here's a story of few people who are no where near perfects. This is the story of their flaws...their imperfections...their incompleteness. Do comment and press like. They inspire me to write better. In case anyone wants pm please add me as buddy. Awaiting your honest opinions.
Please stay safe everyone. Let's do everything that is in our power to help people who need it in these turbulent times. Take care everyone.
Part 51
Love
This house… this damn house! Geet stood at the junction of the lane that would take her to Handa house. But she couldn’t take another step forward. Her body was frozen and her mind was assaulted with thousands of unwanted memories.
Her earliest memories had been about being scolded by her mother. At that time, it was not so much, just little things that constantly broke her heart. She had craved a mother’s love once upon a time. She had wanted validation from her mother.
She remembered trying so hard to be perfect so her mother would love her. It took her so many years to realize the painful truth that her mother would never love her no matter how she behaves. But being rejected by her own mother had chipped away at her self confidence.
Some days she wondered whether she chose Dev because she couldn’t believe she could ever receive love from another?
A hand was on her shoulder reminding her that those thoughts wouldn’t help her now. Looking up she saw Maan looking at her with concern.
“Geet, why are you standing here?”
“What are you doing here Maan?”
“I came to visit Mohinder uncle. He is doing a lot better. Now with Brij moved out I come from time to time to check on him. Brij is having a very busy schedule nowadays and I strangely have a lighter work load.”
“How is that?”
Maan raised his eyebrows a little but answered her regardless.
“Rehaan had been surprisingly serious and Annie joined the office as well. Now instead of checking everything myself I get to delegate more. So my work load has been lighter.”
He looked at Geet and she began squirming under his scrutiny. Maan broke the silence at last.
“Geet, now that I have answered everything you have asked will you answer me?”
“I … I…”
“Come on Geet! What has you so hesitant?”
“I thought I would visit papa.”
“Here?”
“He is ill Maan. I can’t ask him to meet me somewhere else.”
“You can meet at Brij’s place. It’s not that far but it would be better for you at least.”
“You think me a coward!”
The absolute misery in her voice broke his heart.
“I think no such thing Geet. Haven’t you realized still that I try no to judge people based on their weak moments.”
“You think me weak.”
“I think that everybody has aright to a little weakness Geet. You don’t need to do it right now or even today. You take your time. One step at a time you can move forward.”
“I was feeling so much powerful after that party. I felt I had let go of the past.”
“I am not an expert by any rate my dear Geet but I am pretty sure that letting go of past is not something linear. You move in circles. You take a step forward and move two steps back. I am proud you came some distance forward but it’s okay to take time Geet.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes Geet. Come on, let me take you home. Tomorrow maybe you will be able to walk few more steps forward.”
“What if I can’t?”
“Then you will try day after Geet. There’s no hurry. You take as much time as you need.”
“What if I never get the courage Maan?”
“I believe in you. Brij believes in you. Maybe it’s time you believe in yourself. You are the most courageous person I ever met Geet and I am sure you will find your strength in your heart.”
“I am not courageous. I am afraid of ghosts of past Maan. “
“who ever said that being courageous means you are not afraid? Courage is doing something despite your fears.”
They stayed silent before he took her arms and walked her to his car. He made her sit and helped her with the seatbelt.
“I don’t want to go home Maan.”
“Then?”
“I just want to do something else. “
“Come on. I have time off today. Let’s just enjoy the day. What say a day out! We will do anything you feel like Geet.”
“I feel like watching a movie. I don’t know when was the last time I watched a movie in theatre. Maybe with Dev before Muskaan was born.”
“You know, the last time I watched a movie without it being some sort of event for Sam was back in college. “
“We poor deprived souls!”
“Here’s what we are going to do. We will go to a mall and then book any tickets available and then we will order awful overpriced junk food and drink and just you know have fun. We deserve a day just to have some fun. Let’s pray some comedy movie is available.”
Geet became oddly excited for it. The last time she had spent a day like this was back in her college days.
So they did just that. It was hilarious having Maan’s witty banter as they watched the movie. It was beautiful day. As they came out of the movie theatre something shifted in her. It was a moment so simple she didn’t even realize the momentousness of it for a second.
Geet watched as Maan was laughing out over some hilarious part of the movie. He looked younger and his hair was tousled. His ruffled look made him seem oddly adorable and the sound of his laughter soothed her heart. And unbidden a thought came to her. “I love his laughter. I love him?”
Geet froze on her tracks as she realized the words of her heart. She was in love with him. He had made a place in her heart quite sometime ago and she hadn’t even realized.
Love, Geet had always thought was supposed to be a very powerful emotion that would stagger her. This love that she had for Maan was gentle and subtle. She never even realized when he made it so deep into her heart.
Maan turned back and raised his eyebrow in that familiar expression asking her silently if anything is wrong. She took a few steps forward and held his hand softly while shaking her head to answer his unasked question.
“You had a really peculiar expression just then Geet. Are you sure you are okay?”
“I am. I think I am.”
They walked out of the lift to the parking lot and walked towards his car. Geet felt different. It was as if she suddenly found some innate strength hidden in her.
“Maan!”
“Yes Geet?”
“Will you help me with something?”
“What?”
“I want to go to Handa house.”
“Are you sure?”
“I have given too much power to my memories. The only to conquer my past is by facing it. I need to know that nothing in that house has the power to hurt me. It had always been up to me as to how much power my mother had. I was hurt because I let her hurt me. I need to take back that power.”
“But now?”
“No. But I have to someday soon. And I hope you can be there with me that day.”
“I don’t have anything important scheduled tomorrow morning. What say, I pick you up at ten?”
“Sounds good. Am I weak for asking you to be there?”
“Not at all. You are strong enough to ask for help instead of pretending to be strong.”
Maan smiled and squeezed her hand a little. He helped her with her seat belt. He had done this very thing so many times before but it felt different. Maan felt different. She had an extra sense of awareness surrounding herself.
The rest of the drive was full of turmoil. So many uncertainties but for the first time in life Geet felt that things are going to turn out just fine.
*************
Maan entered the kitchen for some coffee to find Rehaan standing there. Rey had been different. He had turned serious. Somedays Maan still searched for his younger brother in this new avatar of his.
“Hey Rey!”
“Hey!”
“I am gonna make some coffee! Want a cup?”
“Sure!”
“I am taking mine black without sugar. What about you?”
“I will just have the same.”
Maan became silent. Rehaan usually had tea. In case of coffee, he prefers them with milk and sugar. Something sure is wrong with him.
Once he handed Rehaan his cup, Maan asked the question he had in mind.
“Is everything alright Rey? You seem distracted.”
“Distracted is the right word I guess.”
“More like disturbed. Come on what’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong per se.”
“Then? Come on Rey, it’s me. You know you can share anything right?”
“Don’t mind but Sam had always seemed so complicated. How did you know if pursuing a relationship was the right thing to do?”
Maan took a deep breath. He now had an idea where this question came from. His little brother is attracted to a lady and totally out of his depth.
“My relationship with Sam wasn’t ideal and our divorce proves that. I am not sure how healthy it was but I will try answering you.”
“What do you mean? You married her?”
“Sam had a history. She wasn’t in good terms with her parents. In fact, the only family member she had any semblance of relationship with was a cousin who was settled abroad.”
“Did you know the reason behind this?”
“That’s the part you will be surprised about. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know why your ex-wife had virtually non existent relationship with her parents?”
“Our romance was like a whirlwind. It stared suddenly and almost uncontrollably. We were physically attracted towards each other right from start. I wasn’t that keen on sharing myself and so I didn’t ask her. It was like both of us were hiding parts of ourselves and rest of it we shared. I admired her integrity and respected her as the person she had become. “
“Still, how can one be in an intimate relationship without sharing every part of themselves?”
“Told you it wasn’t healthy. I think the part of the reason we were so busy with our career was so we can hide ourselves behind it. It wasn’t a basis for a strong marriage and I can see that now.”
“So it was just physical attraction?”
“No not at all. I am not explaining this very well.”
“Try bro. I want to understand.”
“This is going to be a long talk Rey. Let’s go to my room.”
As they walked towards Maan’s room Rey couldn’t help but wonder. He had always felt that Sameera and Maan were wrong for each other. But he never asked questions to satisfy his curiosity. How was it that he spent years in the room opposite to Maan’s and not really understand his brother?
Once they were comfortable in the room Maan started speaking.
“Sam had always been someone shrouded in mystery. I could tell from the very first time that she was someone hiding herself. I think I liked that mysterious self of her. And, we had chemistry. I think I was also someone hiding myself. It was easier to let the mystery continue because making her open up means I have to open up myself. So we shared parts of ourselves and the rest we locked behind a closed door and threw away the key.”
“Wow!”
“We were both young Rey. We didn’t understand that you can’t love in parts. You can try but you will fail.”
“I don’t think sharing is the problem in my case. You know me.”
“Then what’s the issue?”
“I don’t know. I can’t explain.”
“Let me try brother dear. You are in love with a woman who is still very much in love with her dead husband. And you have no idea what you can do about it. How am I doing so far?”
“Pretty spot on. What do I do Maan?”
“Be her friend. She needs a friend more than a lover. Share her happiness but more importantly share her sorrows. And someday, if you are lucky, she might love you back.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“More importantly brother dear, that’s all you can do. You cannot force someone to love you.”
“If all she ever sees in me is a friend then?”
They both were silent. Rey had unwittingly echoed the question that has tormented Maan for months.
“Then I guess it would be a privilege just to be her friend!”
“Are you telling me Maan or are you trying to make yourself believe those words?”
“Both. Can’t I do both? Can’t I tell you while reinforcing it to myself?”
“You can. But it is not easy.”
“But isn’t she worth it Rey?”
“She is, By God, she is.”
“And can you ever go back to being a familiar stranger in her life Rey?”
“No Maan, I can’t. “
“Then accept the challenge of being friends with the woman you love.”
Rey left his room shortly afterwards. Maan stayed awake for sometime trying to believe the words he said to Rey. But tomorrow was to be a tough day for Geet and she would need her friend Maan.
Part 52
Intricacies of a broken marriage
“Will you tell me what is wrong with you Geet?”
Geet looked up at Pari. She had been oddly silent after coming back and of course Pari had noticed. But Pari deserved an answer however jumbled.
“I think I love Maan.”
Pari smiled.
“You think or you know Geetu?”
“I think I know.”
“That’s a good thing right?”
“I don’t know Pari. I was finally feeling settled with my new life in Mumbai. This complicates things.”
“how?”
“What do you mean how? I am in love with Maan.”
“Yes I get that. But how does this change everything?”
“Doesn’t it?”
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
“Geetu, take a deep breath. You have been in love with Maan for quite some time now. Difference is that now you realize what you feel. Nothing has to change Geetu, at least, not unless you are okay with it. Nobody will force you into anything.”
“Maan loves me too you know.”
“I know. The way he looks at you is plain for everyone to see. Question is, what are you going to do with this knowledge?”
“I don’t know Pari. I feel as if I am carrying too many baggage.”
“Then is it not time Geetu to unburden yourself?”
“I can understand the need to do that. I am going to Handa house tomorrow.”
“Alone?”
“No. I had gone there today but I couldn’t move past the entrance of the lane. Then Maan happened upon me and we spent the day together.”
“As a date?”
“No, actually we were just two friends enjoying a movie together.”
“And how did the day go?”
“Beautiful. I haven’t just enjoyed a movie for the sake of it for so long. And Maan was hilarious. I couldn’t help but want to spent many days just like that.”
“That’s just a glimpse of what could be if you take a chance. But we will talk about it later. Now tell me about your plan for tomorrow.”
“I need to go back to that house. I need to face my demons. But I can’t do it alone. I want Maan to be there with me.”
“It’s absolutely okay to have Maan with you. He has been a true friend to you for so long. I think you can trust him with this.”
“I do trust him you know. He had been a friend to Brij bhai for so many years now. I am sure I am not going to shock him with anything new.”
“Maan will go as your friend. Even if the information is not new the perspective will be.”
They both were silent for sometime. Pari cleared her throat before asking the next question.
“Geetu, now that some time has passed may I ask you a question?”
“What?”
“What do you think about your marriage with Dev now?”
Geet was thoughtful for a moment. She never really thought back to her marriage with Dev. It was a wreckage she couldn’t bear looking at initially and then it was just easier not looking back.
“I am sorry Geetu, It’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No Pari, I get it. You are curious and I think it will do me good to talk about it.”
They were silent for sometime as Geet struggled to organize her thoughts.
“You know how young I was when I started going out with Dev. Looking back, I always had doubts regarding the relationship. Both Yash bhai and Brij veerji had not been impressed with Dev. I always thought that I will have their full support regarding my partner.”
“I remember those days. Yash and I were just married. It’s not that they didn’t support you. I think Yash at least thought that Dev wasn’t right for you.”
“I understand it now and maybe even agree with it. Things were different back then. Looking back, I think Meera was always between us. We had been friends for so long that lines tended to blur a little. Who knows what would have happened had I waited few years to marry. I married when we were twenty-one. It may seem like we were adults but both of us were just too young.”
“You both were young Geetu. And you were leaving everything and everyone you had known for a place so remote. It seemed like you were running away from something.”
“Maybe I was running away Pari. I thought that a new place would help me heal some of the wounds. It did help. And Dev was so supportive and sweet with me back then.”
“What changed then?”
“I think it all started with Muski’s birth. I was suddenly a sleep deprived new mother struggling with the care of a demanding newborn. Muskaan would cry all night. I was sleep deprived and exhausted.”
“Didn’t Dev help?”
“Dev helped when he could but he was working almost sixteen hours a day and travelling frequently between Delhi and Darjeeling.”
“So that’s when the crack started?”
“Maybe. But I feel the cracks had always been there. It just started showing. The sex was non existent. But even initially, the sex wasn’t something mind blowing. I was inexperienced and Dev had been my first. I didn’t know any better.”
“Now you know.”
Geet couldn’t help but blush. Now she did know even if it was only once on a stormy night in the arms of a married man.
“Now I know. I am not implying that we weren’t happy. We were. But it felt more like two best friends rather than two lovers. Maybe that’s where we went wrong. We confused our friendship for love. It’s strange but now that I look back I realize something. I felt betrayed by Dev, my trust was broken and I feel I have wasted so many years with him. I feel sad but I don’t think my heart is broken. I think I had stopped loving him long before my marriage broke.”
“They say Geetu that no marriage can break without some signs of the break.”
“I think the signs were there. And I believe Dev when he said that the thing with Meera started so gradually that he didn’t really know. Meera or no Meera we were heading for a divorce. We both had stopped working on our marriage long before that.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
“Dev could have been honest with me. He could have been honest with me. We could have remained friends then. I don’t think I can forgive him his weakness. That he wanted a weak submissive wife to protect his fragile ego was too much to bear. It was like I never really knew him. It is difficult to accept that he was such a person.”
“You sound so different. It’s like you have found peace.”
“I can either let all these turn me bitter and destroy my as well as Muskaan’s life. Or I can make my peace with it.”
“That is a really mature way to see everything Geetu.”
Pari watched Geet. Geet had come a long way from the hurt girl devastated by a broken marriage. She prayed that Geet could find strength enough to withstand her visit to Handa house.
******
At exactly Ten in the morning Maan was in front of Geet’s apartment building. He was apprehensive about the morning. He had over the years heard a lot about Handa family home situation. But today he will learn things from Geet’s perspective. He wasn’t sure how he would control his reaction.
Maan had this innate need to protect Geet. And to finally confront the person who should have protected yet didn’t; Maan didn’t know how he would he stop himself from berating the man. But today Geet needed his support and the last thing she needs was a neanthadral attacking her father.
Geet came down and got in the car. She looked as apprehensive as he felt. Giving him a tight smile she avoided looking at him. Maan took this as his cue to drive.
The office time traffic meant it took quite sometime for them to reach Handa house. This time he took the car and parked inside the compound. He went out and opened the door for Geet.
She was trembling and her hands were cold. Maan pulled her up in a standing position. Geet looked into his eyes for the first time in the morning. Her eyes were a pool of unshed tears. And Maan had never loved her more than in this moment. She had been so hurt yet here she was being so strong and coming back to confront her fears. How could he not love her?
“It’s okay Geet. Just remember you have all the power. Nothing can hurt you if you don’t allow them to. You are strong Geet. You had always been the stronger one Geet.”
“How can you say that Maan? Iran away from here…”
“You had been bullied, disrespected and abused all your life. It could have turned you into a bitter and harsh person. Yet you have a heart full of life. You are compassionate, caring and empathetic person. You became this person despite everything. And here you are, giving your father a chance he definitely didn’t deserve and opening yourself to the chance of getting hurt again. How does that not make you the strongest person I know Geet?”
‘And how does that not make me love you more?’, the thought was kept silent by Maan. Now was not the time.
“You’ll be there with me, right Maan?”
“Every step of the way. “
Together they took step towards the front door. What lay on the other side was unknown, but they are together for this.
Edited by aditi_2010 - 4 years ago
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