Members Topic: How headstrong are you? - Page 5

“Sometimes tho you have to fight anybody over anything and you can’t stop. You can’t let anyone gain ground or it to show weakness. “

Ty Cobb

When it comes to doing the right thing, right action, I can be very headstrong, because I dont like dealing with bad consequences especially of other people's wrong action. This always put me in dilemma, because I dont like controlling people, I dont like telling them dont do this or do that, because I dont like them telling me the same. Example, if someone is smoking, if I dont stop them, if they get cancer, the whole family will suffer together because something stupid they have done, If I stop them, they gonna say I am controlling, I am interfering, I am so righteous etc etc

I am currently learning to be very patience and forgiving dealing with such people and I am failing badly

Originally posted by: sanityinfinite

I get you. It is not very easy to assess oneself. It takes work.

It comes down to how self aware one is, or how well they rank on Emotional Quotient (EQ). It's not uncommon to see people rank high on IQ, but quite low on EQ. I guess, if we are able or willing to introspect ourselves during lone times (example, reflecting on our interactions, our tone, body language, the vibe we may give off) it really helps. But often times, we're not fully aware of those things (to some degree we are, but not fully). The Johari Window theory used in Organizational Behavior covers that. (check up that one, it's an interesting one!) In such times, it always helps to get genuine feedback from friends or people that know us well❤️ But that again, comes down to humility and how receptive we are to receiving feedback or criticism. Usually I could make out when I talk to such folks..Most people make out..body language gives a lot away too.

But those particular times when I've asked myself those deeper questions again, it helped a lot i.e questions like..do I get defensive real quick when someone challenges / criticizes me? Am I quick to judge/label another as wrong, thinking I know it all? Do I argue to win at all costs, or am I open to persuasion? etc..This keeps a check on me being headstrong without a valid reason.

But self awareness, comes with some degree of self work. (In other words, kaam hai 😆). Not everyone is naturally self aware.. so often times, it's a deliberate choice made to understand another’s perspectives. (and I mean objectively, without any bias to, or against a person or a group)

Self-awareness is one of my favorite topics and also something that eludes so many of us.😆 The covid situation and the forced solitude has been good in a way for people to introspect and achieve some of that. I constantly find myself doing the same! Johari Window Theory sounds interesting, I'll save that for one of my google sprees.

Great points on IQ and EQ too! It definitely explains why some really smart people sometimes screw up royally or walk around with terrible attitudes and insecurities. You're touching on oh-so-many insightful ideas here, I will never stop rambling if I get started.

I also believe that most of the people are good at heart but we all put up fronts depending on our own hangups from our own life experiences. That's why our personalities are so unique and so are our interactions! To get back on being "headstrong," I think it can be a valuable quality but only if it comes from within and only if it manifests into persistence and determination to achieve your goals. Otherwise, I don't think arguing just for the heck of arguing, being a difficult person and getting on everyone's nerves is a rewarding trait unless you're trolling online for kicks! 😆

Originally posted by: adventurousman

The struggle is always within. If I can’t do something it’s because of something going on internally and I need to dig deep and heal that part for me to move forward otherwise it’s gonna create the same things.

It’s a vicious cycle and we are all junkies. Hope this makes sense 😂

Very well said. You can be in the best possible place but you will be the reason of your own undoing if you are not at peace with yourself. And it also applies vice versa -- you can be happy wherever you are if you can make things work for you from within. It's a major challenge but people who are at peace with themselves have a positive aura around them wherever they go and that presence can turn even the most dire situations around in their favor.

Originally posted by: Thatgirl16

Hey my past personality 😃. It's as amazing a strength to think of others as it is to look for your happiness. Don't feel disappointed with yourself ever. The key to a trait alteration is to let it flow through you so don't push your limits. Start with little and not so important things maybe your ootd. If anyone says it isn't great dont let it get under your skin remember you chose it because YOU LIKED IT. Let your descisions bring you happiness and not stress. Waise bhi I have been where you're now, so you can discuss anytime ❤️.

@Bold: Definitely👍🏼

Thanks for such a motivating reply. Seriously. This world certainly needs more people like you who encourage 😊🙏 thanks once again.

I go with the flow and agree to what elders dictate or say.

Only if its related to my son's education or related to better life or my parents, I'm headstrong.

Originally posted by: Swetha-Sai

I go with the flow and agree to what elders dictate or say.

Only if its related to my son's education or related to better life or my parents, I'm headstrong.

I've seen many meek/easygoing people turn surprisingly fearless and self-sufficient after having kids. Parental instincts zindabaad.