Chapter 1
The wind was deathly calm. The trees stood stock still. The scorching rays of the sun burned the dry ground. The neighbourhood children ignored the heat and played freely on the streets. The women busy with their purchases rushed on by with a small smile and nod. Somewhere there were crows cawing and traffic horns blaring.
But the man storming down the steps of the school building couldn’t see or hear any of this. His hands were fisted on his sides and every step seemed to rattle the very foundations of the earth. His eyes were seething anger and rage and his lips thinned in an effort to control the avalanche of emotions. His pristine white shirt no longer bore the look of one freshly pressed but rather clung to his skin with sweat and heat.
As he descended the last step a loud sound pierced through the still air. He turned towards the sound and froze.
“Khushi!” his anguished cry ripped through the tiny neighbourhood as his feet made frantic steps towards the mass of blue laying sprawled on the ground.
His wife had jumped!
Arnav reached her in a flash and lifted her now bleeding head on his lap. Her legs and hands twisted at odd angles, face dripping with blood oozing from the wound in her head. Her eyes were open and she was trying to speak but no sound emitted the confines of her mouth. “Khushi! Khushi! Why? Dammit why? No Khushi just stay with me ok? Stay with me…you’ll be fine I promise. Just…just keep your eyes open and stay with me ok? Call an ambulance…somebody call a bloody ambulance. Khushi…keep your eyes open and stay with me… you’ll be fine…” frantic words were gushing forth…his mind a whirl of emotions…Why? How? Why? Everything just a tumbling mass in his head… if she just kept her eyes open…
Her eyes closed. Fear gripped his being. Cold, unforgiving, unrelenting fear looking at her almost lifeless body in his arms. Fear like something he never felt before. He shook her trying to get her to open her eyes. Calling out her name again and again hoping to revive her. The wail of the ambulance broke through the haze in his mind. The frenzy of activity over the next five minutes as they loaded her frail bleeding body on the gurney, connected an oxygen mask to help her breathing, rolled the gurney onto the ambulance and connected her to the monitors and medical apparatus, left him standing statue-like to the side. As he saw the ambulance door closing, he rushed through to be allowed inside next to her as they made their way to the nearest hospital.
Everything that happened after that was still a blur. The doctors, nurses, waiting people in the lobby all blurry images in front of his eyes. His mind replaying those minutes before he stormed off from her and then her sprawled body on the ground in a never-ending loop. Unable to clear the haze, he sat slumped, head in his hands till he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“Mr. Raizada, I need you to fill these forms and complete the formalities.” The nurse said gently taking in the plight of the man in front of her. “Uh…yes...I’ll do that.” He didn’t sound like himself…gone was the sauvé, arrogant businessman who controlled his own destiny. The man sitting on this chair was weak, afraid and shadow of himself. He filled the forms and handed the paperwork back to the nurse.
“Sir, since this was an attempted suicide, we have informed the police authorities. They will be here shortly.” He could only nod in reply. This mind processing the words in a slower glacial pace. He would have to deal with the police…but how? What answers did he have to give? Why did she jump? Why wasn’t he there? Nothing was making sense to him. All rational thought seemed to have been left there on that school terrace. Those final moments before he stormed off without so much as a backward glance at her…seething in in own rage and wrath…what would he tell the police?
He picked up his phone and dialed the only person he could think off. If the police were now involved, he would need his lawyer. Explaining the situation and his current location, he sat back on the chair outside the operation theatre. It had now been an hour and so far, no one had given him any update on what was happening behind those closed doors.
After another twenty-five minutes of grueling wait, he noticed Mr. Rao striding through the hospital corridors, closely followed by the police. Together they proceeded to a corner of the waiting area away from prying eyes and ears.
“Mr. Raizada, can you recount for us the happenings of this morning?” the senior inspector began.
“We were at Khushi’s parents place, getting ready to return to Shantivan. She had stepped out and I handn’t thought much about it till I found a note on the bed. She had written that she is going away and had left me her artificial stars as a remembrance. She was acting very weird the whole morning and that note made me panic. I ran out of the house asking people if they’d seen her. Finally, a boy told me he’d seen her going towards the school. When I reached, I saw her standing on the ledge. I ran up and pulled her down from there. We had an argument over why she was doing this…I said things…she said things…and then I left. When I reached down, I heard a noise and when I turned, I saw her on the ground.” He speech was measured…recounting the morning as calmly as he could.
“Mr. Raizada, what was the argument about? I’m sorry but since this is a police inquiry, we will have to ascertain if this was an attempted suicide or a murder attempt.”
“You think I’d want to kill my wife?” rage, hot and burning spewed out of him
“We’ve seen worse Mr. Raizada.” The senior inspector was unfazed.
He seemed to be losing control of his anger…what was this inspector insinuating? How could he accuse him of murdering…murdering Khushi? One look at Mr. Rao told him he’d have to calm down and handle the situation rationally.
“Like I said…” he continued in a calmer tone… “she was acting weird the whole morning. When I found her, I questioned her erratic behavior. My wife is known to act impulsively at times but this seemed a stretch too far even for her. That’s what the argument was about. I tried to convince her to come back home…but she wouldn’t listen…I left then.”
“And the next thing you saw was her on the ground?”
“Yes! I’ve already said that!” he almost balked. “Okay Mr. Raizada. That’s your side of the story. You will have to come into the station and give a written statement. We will have to wait for your wife to recover to take her statement as well before we bring this matter to a close. Stay in touch.” Informed the police looking straight at Arnav. It wasn’t unknown of men to murder their wives for the smallest of reasons and this was Arnav Singh Raizada. Fast tracking this case and thoroughly following through could be beneficial to him, he mused as he walked away.
Sitting Arnav down on the sofa Mr. Rao began to speak, “Arnav, I’ve known you for a long time so it pains me to say this, but did you have any hand in this?” although shaking through that question, the lawyer in him had to ask.
“How can you say that Veer?” he almost but shouted back. “I didn’t push her down. How could I do that. She’s my wife dammit!” the last words were almost a whisper.
“I think I can safely say that I’m the only person who knows how that came about. So, if we need to get out of this unscathed, you need to tell me what happened.” Mr. Rao’s demeanor was calm, completely unaffected but the angry, almost jumpy man next to him. He’s known Arnav for years and more than his legal advisor, he had been a friend through all the years of struggle and pains it took in making AR the name it was today. Arnav could be many things when blinded by rage but a murderer he was most definitely not. To see this matter through however, he had to get to the root of it.
“I told her the truth behind our marriage.” The words were so soft that Veer almost missed it.
“I told her everything. When I saw her standing there on the parapet, I felt this deep dread settle in. But she pushed and pushed to know the answer. So, I told her. I had already got her down from there so I didn’t think…I didn’t think she was in any danger. After I told her, she had no answers…no rebuttal and that angered me more…so I walked out of there unable to look at her anymore.” He finished and sighed. Recounting what happened that morning, he thought he could try and understand what happened after he left but it was still a mystery.
“Ok. I’ll see what I can do. I don’t know how long we can keep this matter a secret from the police, but let’s just hope Khushi is fine and she can clear their doubts. You hang in there and let me know her status.” Saying that the man left, leaving behind another with more question than clarity about the morning.
He had finally answered all her questions. He had let out the truth of their six-month marriage and beside tears, she had nothing to offer in her defense. Her tears always weakened him and so before he could pay heed to it, he stormed out of their leaving her with the truth of their sham marriage. He felt the anger rise in him again. Saying all those things to her…reliving those painful memories of that night was like a knife piercing through his heart. He had gone bouncing up the stair with a smile on his lips and peace like no other filling his heart only to have it come crashing down the very next second. Seeing her in his brother-in-law’s arms had torn him apart. And her words… her hateful words asking him to leave his sister was like tiny pieces of glass piercing every part of his body. Oh, what dreams he had dreamed with her, for her, for their future and she had made a fool out of him. This brother-in-law could be dealt with but she…she had to suffer. And this marriage was her hell.
Then why did his heart stop this morning when he saw her on that ground? Why did he feel like the ground was slipping from under his feet when he saw her blood? Why were there streams of tears pouring down his face when he tried to keep her alive? Why did his traitorous heart still beat for her? He never had answers to these questions then… nor did he have them now. He only knew he needed her to be safe… to be alive.
It was four hours before he finally saw the light outside the operation theatre go off and the doctor walk out. He stood, bracing his heart…to afraid to ask…to afraid to know…fearing the worst.
“She’s alive Mr. Raizada!” relief washed over him in waves. “But she has suffered severe trauma to her brain causing swelling and slight damage to her resticular activating system. she has also suffered injuries to her ribs and her left leg is in a cast due to multiple fractures.”
“Will she be fine doctor?”
“For now, she’s in a coma…what we call a locked in syndrome. Which means she is awake and alert but cannot move, speak or respond. till the swelling reduces we can’t say how long she will be in this state. We will be moving her to the ICU where her progress will be monitored.” Saying that, the doctor excused himself not noticing the man slump into the chair behind him.
A coma! Paralyzed! Swelling! Damage to the brain! Words he’d never thought he would hear were just spoken in such a pedantry manner like it means nothing. His world crashed when he saw her on that ground and now knowing that he’ll never find out why…. knowing that she’s there but not there… the world began to spin again.
He needed to see her.
Just then he saw her being wheeled out from the theatre. He ran before they took her into the ICU. Her eyes were open but it was like she was looking right through him. He held her hand not knowing if she could feel it. But he needed it more than her. He needed to know she was in there somewhere. He needed her to know he was here. Words failed him but he hoped she could see everything he wasn’t saying in his eyes.
As the doors to the ICU closed, he knew it was time to tell the families.
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