SS - A Life in Pause - reprised (Chapter 7 | 31/7) - Page 5

Very intense, better than the show making suicide attempts a joke. I like the portrayal of battling feelings of Arnav, Serves him right for jumping to conclusions.

Finally Arnav pulled his head out of his derrière!!

Love the writing, hope you stay till the finish line ;)

Love your creative juices, keep blessing us with more drama.

Chapter 5 - An Interlude

I cursed my heart a thousand times

I cursed my mind when it failed to heed

I cursed my being for those fleeting moments

I cursed you for making me weak

Your words whipped at my bleeding heart

Characterless… deceitful… a trap laid

Oh, how I wish I understood you more

Or you could read what I never said

The ground implored my broken soul

The sun burnt through my parched heart

So many times, I wondered what for

Why I hoped for a better start?

The truth it lay open ahead

Callous words from a one so dear

If only you knew what that pain was like

If only you saw the truth in my tears

A fall into you startled arms

My eyes they flickered on your face

The anger in them stayed true through the months

It was my first fall from grace

A chamber of glass shrunk before my eyes

A peltering storm struck me down

A ceiling collapsed, a wall caved in

Your arms never let me touch the ground

Where was that moment in this sea of hatred?

Where was that fleeting touch so pure?

Why this abysmal pain my companion?

Why this life is what I endure?

How many smiles can I force myself?

How many more days of joy to infuse?

How crumpled my soul and thrashed by you

My heart borne the brunt of this abuse

I longed for my portion of peace

For a happiness my name foretold

How foolish my heart, I chide

How innocent your wish turned cold

But now I see as clear as day

My dreams were never meant to be

My hopes tarnished like an autumn wind

Trampled on the floor like crushed leaves

I give in to this feeling of certainty

My feet leading me away

Where I know my parents lay waiting

A smile, a hug, a new day

So, let me come to you oh heavenly one

Free me of this constant ache

Let me fall from pain into your arms

Let me soar, let me go for my own sake

I see the dark of night setting in

I feel the river of red gushing through

And then a scream of pain I hear

Oh lord this cannot be true

Why these hands so frantic now?

Why this voice so laced with fear?

Let the darkness come and take me now

Leave me be, my heart implores

Oh heavens open wide your arms

Take me into your home

My body struggles against the pain

My mind already at your door

Silence fills my chest at last

My labour seems at rest

The darkness has creeped into my soul

For once it heard my behest

White like the sky now I see

Where I lay, I do not know

Is this the promised land for me?

Did I stay or did I go?

Hushed voices come creeping in

A deep monotonous and clear

A shiver through my limbs I can feel

I haven’t gone… I’m still here

A voice distant, a plea within

My heart breaking the shackles to hear

It’s coming closer, it’s shrill and pained

Longing in that husky timbre

You’re battling now for what could have been?

The shapes shift as my vision clears

Oh, how foolish my heart you thought you’d win

When has he ever let you, it sneers

Flashes before me white and clean

Hushed whispers faint and fleeting

I know the darkness was defeated

I know he stopped me from going

But why I ask, I scream and shout

Why my suffering couldn’t end?

Why had he to make me stay

Is there more for my heart to defend?

Voice of cheer fill around me

I’d called them family with my soul

Little they knew of the sacrifices made

Little of the pain endured

And then I hear the vicious leer

A voice from hell that stills my being

So close it pierces through my defenceless state

Then ripped away before it stings

Why the need to protect me now?

Why the anger you display?

The lashes are deep within me now
Your silence has no more to say

So, let me go away from here

Stop the charade for my sake

I do not wish to be bait for you

I do not want your concern that's fake

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So i wrote this chapter thrice and from different perspectives but settled on this because I'm always drawn to verse. I hope this convey's her state of mind before and after the incident. Bear with me as I bring my thoughts to paper and stay on the journey if you can. 

Thanks for reading, liking and commenting! It means a great deal!

Stay Safe

LibranAngel

Wow, it was truly wonderful, beautifully written and conveyed 

Beautifully written! 

And i think this was the best way to express Khushi s turmoil. 

Cant wait for the next chapter!

Beautifully written! 

Cheers

Very well written . How well you have conveyed the different gamut of emotion going through kushi.

She’s lying in the hospital bed and  venting her frustration at Arnav for not understanding her when she wanted him to .She’s right in telling him there’s no use of displaying anger now he remained silent then, when she wanted him to lash out. She wants him to stop this charade and let her go from this world

Beautiful, soulful.,. Portrays Khushi’s struggles so beautifully...

Wish he could hear these words. He needs to understand the damage.