Link to Armaan's Diary:- https://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=896927&T PN=1�
Link to my FF:- https://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=897662&T PN=12#16076711
Hey guys,
I thought of adding the episode links to which these diary entry sentiments belong to as people were getting confused. Hope it helps. Happy reading!đł
RIDHIMA
1st entry
Monday 24th March
Written: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/dill-mill-gaye/898423/24thmarchupdate-precap-holi-promo
Video: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/dill-mill-gaye/898481/24th-march-dmg-zshare-link-added-hq
Dear Bobo,
How's it been going sweetheart?? All's well in your cupboard house, these days???...hehe, okay I'm joking!! Just teasing you darling!!
You should be glad I'm even showing some humor today. After the day I've today, I can hardly think straight. It's getting very hard to handle my professional life. Like really tough. And you very well know, how dedicated I am to my work. But it seems that all those years that I've looked at people around and thanked God for making my life so easy...have finally caught up!
I did talk to you about Armaan earlier. My co-intern. Well, I've a revelation to make up to you. And I'm really sorry for admitting it to you so late...but I was just so busy and caught up with Sanjeevani. I'm in love with him. And how much ever, I wish him to be a passing infatuation every day...he seems to be getting stronger in the idea of being my "true" love.
Honestly...if you ask what he's like...the first things that pop in my head are....that he's strong. And secure. And protective. And possessive. And loving. And caring. And understanding. And gorgeous. And tough. And hard-working. And dedicated. But he's also frustrated. And childish. And ... things that may not be bad, but wrong in my principles.
We've separated now. But we both know we still love each other. And I know that he thinks I just don't understand the extent of his love for me. But I do. And I do know all that he's done for me. And the things he will keep doing just for me.
But I just can't express myself. You know me. It's so hard for me to open up to anybody. All my life, I haven't even confided alot of secrets to Nani, Dad or Di...not even my best friends. I know that it was wrong...that I should be able to confide in somebody...but I just never did. With alot of things. And I also feared that this would be a huge problem when I finally met "that" person.
And my fears weren't wrong. I haven't been able to open up with him. But you know what. I think I was very close to doing it. I was so happy that I had found him and was confident enough to share things with him. And let him know my true feelings.
But still, things didn't work out between us. Sometimes, it takes all my energy not to go run into his arms when I see him standing across the hallway...or ask him to rest during his doubleshifts, so that I could take over...or bring him a cup of coffee or a plate of food when he seems tired. It hurts a lot inside. All my life, I've wanted to experience the feelings of love...the happiness of love...the pains of love.
And now that I do...I just want to feel nothing but the comfort of his arms around me. But we do differ on certain things. I can feel in him that he doesn't like us working in the same place after fights...but I do. I would never admit it to nobody...but I really need to have him around no matter what.
Today, when he irritates me and plays pranks...I love it. I simply find happiness in that. Because I find it so much easier to cope with a normal Armaan rather than a sad Armaan. And I know I show my anger to him in all situations...but that's just how I am. I just can't control my stupid anger. Sometimes, I just feel like slapping myself after having shouted at him and seeing the hurt in his eyes. It kills me.
Life has been growing more complicated by the day. I don't know where anything in my life stands. But I DO know that I'll always love him. And that he'll do all he can to get us back together. That's my only hope of living.
Basket(He calls me that...I feel "beautiful" when he does)
p.s- I love you Bobo...sorry, my love will have to be shared from now on.
2nd entry
Thursday 27th March
Written: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/dill-mill-gaye/901214/27th-march-written-update-live
Video: https://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=
Dear Bobo,
Help me please!! I need someone to hug!! This pillow isin't working. And I just CANNOT stop crying. My whole body is aching inside. I can't take this anymore. I need to talk to someone. Anyone. I need to heal this pain. I NEED TO GET OVER HIM.
Why?? Why?? Why?? Why did we have to fall in love?? Why did we have to spend all those beautiful moments together?? Why did we have to work together?? Why did we have to separate?? Whyyyyyyyy??????
He took my kada from me. How could he?? Does he know what that meant to me?? It wasn't just an accessory anymore...it was part of me. It was a freakin part of him. How could he have taken a part of him away from me like that?? Was it that easy for him??
I wish there was a freakin ability in us humans to read each other's minds...that would have been so heavenly. I want to know him. I want to know why he does the things he does to me.
Like today, he tried to kiss me. He wanted to know if "he mattered to me" ever?? Is that a freakin question?? What does he think...that I was faking of being in love with him?? How dare he even ask something like that to me??
And when he came that close, I just wanted to give in. His touch on my cheek was so soft and warm. I can still feel the imprint of his fingers. They were so tender and comforting. If we could just go back to being together like we were. Then that "almost" kiss...I think I would've given in if he wasn't holding my hand so roughly. Thank God for that hand. Otherwise, it would have been a huge mistake.
Don't take me the wrong way. You must be thinking that I'm saying that the kiss would have been wrong because were not together anymore. But I'm actually saying that because if he had kissed me, he would have known in an instant that I still loved him like anything. He would have got what he intended to hear from me.
But it's okay. I feel a little calmer now...writing does help me alot. Acha, di is coming. I'll write later. Chao!
Ridhima...who has an Armaan.
3rd entry
Dear Bobo,
Atlast the weekend's here. I'm so tired right now...but still feel like writing in you. Specially today was more exhausting...given all that scolding I got from Dr.Keerti. Uhhh...I felt so surly at her...made me do all that extra work. That witch. Hehe...I felt like asking one of my patients to get up so that I could go to sleep on her bed. But thanks to papa, he let me leave early. And no, it wasn't unethical or corrupt from his part as Anjali di made it out to be...coz I had worked for 10 hours and that's more than enough for any doctor.
Came home, had dinner, talked on the phone, made some plans for dinner with Sapna( need to really catch up with her)...and now finally in bed.
You know what...I was just thinking the other day...that if Sapna was still in Sanjeevani, I could have talked to her about Armaan. About the whole thing. Beacuse she was like a really close girlfriend. And also because she knew both Armaan and me unlike my other outside friends.
If I cross out people from the list who know both Armaan and me...it's only Sapna who stays. Starting with Atul...I just can't tell him. He's too much a good friend of Armaan...and he can't keep anything from Anjali di. Then there's Muskaan...I just don't know her too closely. But that's nothing infront of the fact that she was the one who took Armaan as her "pretend boyfriend". So, definitely not her. And then Rahul...he's a good person...magar too much formality between us. And he's not too fond of Armaan as well, so his views could be biased. Then there's Anjali di...I don't know why I can't bring the guts to spill it all out...because there's no reason for me to be hiding it from her. Maybe, I should try.
Anyways, so meeting with Sapna tomorrow could be good. I really need to tell someone. Maybe, it will give me clear view of what I need to do when I get a different perspective. Yup...this actually is a really good idea. Wow, I feel so relaxed now. It's like a huge clammed cloud has left which was heavy with burden.
Hmmm...now what?? Brings me back to my popular topic...Armaan. Isin't the name really adorable?? Armaan...desire!! He sure is one. Now that I'm feeling so calm and kinda cheerful...I'll tell you some things about him.
He's a go-getter. He loves working the hardest so that he can fulfill a satisfaction in himself. I just love that about him. Because...I admit...a lot of hardword that I do put in is to show the worthiness of being Dr. Shashank's daughter. And I'm pretty sure...most of us do it for similar reasons. But Armaan...he does it to pacify himself.
He's really outgoing and naughty. A total contrast to what I am. He doesn't shy away from doing anything. He's so carefree and cool about everything. And also the pranks and jokes that he plays around the hospital are taken so humoredly. It's like people are honored to be the subject of his naughtiness. That's also because everyone keeps a secret desire to be his friend. It's no secret that he's the most popular doctor aroud Sanjeevani.
But he's also the sweetest and kindest one around. Especially with the patients. They behave like friends with him. Sometimes, I feel so jealous that he has that talent to make people feel at ease around him. But, it's natural for him.
He's absolutely gorgeous. I know...isin't it really hard to imagine all these good qualities in one person?? But the man is damn delicious. I mean he is REALLY attractive. I don't usaully go on looks...but it doesn't hurt to recognise that the man is handsome. And when he's really close to you...he looks more alluring and seductive. You just feel like falling in this mesmerising man's arms.
And then there's his romantic side. What do I say about that?? Do I reveal to you that when he's in love, he stares at you with the most passionate eyes?? Or that when he's feeling romantic, he hugs you so sensually? Or that when he kisses you...it's the most blissful feeling ever?? Or that he loves showering you with gifts??
He loves to flaunt you around. He treats you like a jewel. He takes care of you, treats you well, holds you hand all the time...and finds the cutest ways to be arond you. And not forgetting...that he loves saying "I love you" every other hour. And wants it to be replied back with the same intensity.
He gives you the feeling of truly being in love. You know what I really want to know?? That was he ever in love with someone else before me??...he did tell me that he wasn't...but I just want to be sure.
You must be thinking that I messed up my chances with this perfect guy. But don't be fooled...he's actually not perfect. Which you may have figured out...hearing my earlier diary entries. But still, he is a lot of things that I want in a man.
Oops...it's 1 a.m....papa just came in to tell me to go to sleep. Better do. Or he'll think I was just faking of being tired. Acha, so I'll see you later. Bye. Love you.
Basket (just because I'm in a good mood...hehe)
4th entry
Dear Bobo,
Sorry for my 1-week absence...I just didn't feel like writing. I must be crazy to be writing right now, with my head hurting so much. I feel so awful. This must be what a hangover feels like. Finally, I know what everyone talks about when they have a hangover...at this age.God, I can't believe I have never had a drink in my life. I'm freakin 25 years old and never had a drink. Atleast if I had experienced it before, I wouldn't feel like shit this morning.
Just got up. Haven't even brushed yet...di's on her bed moaning like me. We both look so messed up right now...if dad saw us, he would freak out. But I don't even have the strength to get up and take a shower. AHHH...my head's going to blast.
Acha anyways, listen to the reason on why I'm actually making the effort to write in you. Even though my head's throbbing...I can still remember what all happened yesterday. Yesterday was a whirl of Armaan, Armaan, Armaan....and ARMAAN.
The little I can remember is getting ready and going with di to the basketball court. I didn't feel like playing holi...but on di's insistance I did. Reaching there, I turn and who do I see???Yes,HIM. It's like this is all God's conspiracy. Why do I always end up with him?? Why was it that he was the only one who cared to protect me and take me home?? Why didn't Umar bhai care?? Okay...that is damn hilarious. Ouch..laughing hurts more.
But anyways...the next thing I know...everyone looks drunk, and is dancing to Jai Jai Shiv Shankar. Thankfully Armaan wasn't dancing...otherwise, I would have gone ballistic at him for ignoring me like that. Then I don't remember but the next thing I know...there is a whole tray of laddoos in my hand...and two in my mouth. According to di, that's where the bhaang was mixed coz I just ate ladoos and did not drink any thandayee. So that makes sense.
After that...everything is too embarassing to narrate. The little I can remember is toooooo embarassing for words. Short update would be...him carrying me on his shoulder...him carrying me on his back...him tucking me in bed....and him kissing me good night.
And him saying "Main bhi tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon Ridhima". YES...I SAID "ILU" TO HIM IN MY DRUNKEN STUPOR. God, I feel like killing myself. How could I have made myself so transparent to anybody?? Why the hell do true feelings come out at the wrong time in the wrong place??
How am I supposed to face him today in Sanjeevani??What is he going to say??What should I say??OMG...this is sooo terrifying!!Why can't I turn back the clock. Where do we stand now??
Okay, calm down Ridhima. Di's starting to feel better...and if she sees me right now, she'll instantly know that something's wrong. Hell di, what the freak am I supposed to do today?? Okay...I'll just avoid him. Easy. You can do that Ridhima. Your the monitor...it's your job to move around.
Oh yeah...forgot to tell you...I got awarded the IOTW for this month. So, I get to monitor all the interns for the entire month. OMG...this means I have to see him atleast once during the day.
What do I do????Woahhh...I just got a sudden flashback of Armaan stroking my forehead. Man, that felt so tingly and beautiful. He was so close to me. Why didn't he just cuddle upto me for some time?? Didn't he feel like doing that?? Ahhh...this man is going to make me crazy.
Acha whatever...I'm getting up now. I need to move...otherwise I'll make myself mental with all this worrying. Bye. Love you....and yeah, Happy Holi Bobo!
Basket
p.s- Just remembered that when he was carrying me on his back...I told him to show me his dimples. I can't beleive I let out my secret of adoring his dimples. Kill me someone please.
5th entry
Tuesday 15th April
Written: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/dill-mill-gaye/918657/15thaprilupdt-sb-and-ridz-team-up
Video: https://bestshows.**urlremoved**/April/15/DMGLQ.shtml
Dear Bobo,
You just won't believe what happened today. Armaan's "Bi" had been admitted to the hospital yesterday...and today, we made a deal to bring the old Armaan back. It just all happened so instantly that it took time for me to register the whole situtation. One minute I was crying...the next pouring my heart out...and the next hugging her hopefully.
Things have gotten a lot more tense between me and Armaan. He's become mentally disturbed. And it's affecting his work now. I don't get people like him who let their problems affect work. It's disgusting. I mean, there's a clear line between keeping your professional life different from your personal. How could you get so immersed in you sympathetic problems that you would start making mistakes on your patients?? I seriously don't get such people. There you go...I don't like one more quality in him now.
You know, when I met Bi today...it was such an emotional moment. I felt like I was in the presence of someone really close to me. And there was this nagging emotion to make Bi like me...don't know why...but it must be every girlfriend's hope for her boyfriend's family to like her. It's pretty normal I guess...Oh, I hope she actually liked me.
Well, I wanted to share something that's been going around my mind. It's about Dad. I don't know if I should be thinking like this...but I have started to feel that dad is being a little too harsh with Armaan regarding this issue. I mean like....yeah, I know Armaan made some big mistakes and he's been pretty out of it lately when it comes to work...magar why SO much fuss?? It's like he or any other doctor never made any mistakes in his life...yeah right!! It feels so wrong to be bitching against your own father...but today was kinda the limit. I really felt he didn't have to take such drastic measures as in to consider suspending Armaan.
DOCTORS AREN'T PERFECT. THEY CAN MAKE MISTAKES TOO. And if I remember right, when the whole thing happened with me during the propanol issue....dad didn't really make a fuss about it. But when Armaan's doing it...suddenly, everbody wants to jump down his throat. It's sick.
Well, I'm trying hard to keep him out of trouble while trying to reason out with him...but it's damn tough. It takes alot of effort to try and then hear all the insults coming from him. Very exhausting! But it's not his fault...I deserve that. I have put myself in this situation and I need to suffer the consequences.
Hehe...guess what...he came so close to the truth today. He was like "Tum sach mein itni bewakoof ho ya hone ka natak karti ho?". God, I got so freaked out...I really thought he was just being sarcastic and knew the whole truth...that I had been lying of not loving him and trying to buy time by just fooling around his mind. It's so hard to believe that he actually took all that shit from me...I gave him such nonsense. If I was in his place and someone had come up to me and told me that there had been nothing between us...after all that we had been through...I would have probably killed that person. But what could I do...that's the best option I could think of to distance myself from him.
So on to other things...haven't talked to the others lately...this monitor job is kinda taking a toll on me. And upar se...Dr.Kirti follows my actions like a hawk. I really don't want to mess up...but with the way things are going on...I doubt I'll go through this process unscorned.
Acha, I'm going now. But before going I have to confess that it felt so good to say that "I love Armaan" out loud. IT FELT RIGHT.
Ridhima
6th entry
Dear Bobo,
It's 7:00 p.m. right now...and I'm in bed. The day got over really fast...as I made an effort to finish my duties quicky to leave for home. Fortunately, didn't have to take an auto...got a ride from di as apparently even she tried to get her duties done with. But she finished it early coz she was having a body ache and wanted to rest. And me, you ask?? Well, I just felt like finishing it early to spend some time at home.
Home...not with family. The other day I realized how much I missed spending time at home. I was just staring at the walls...and suddenly got these memories of all my homely times. I'm an indoor person. I just love spending time indoors...reading,cleaning,cooking,watching TV...or sometimes just doing nothing. It's this connection with my house that makes me feel protected.
Acha...so anyways, on the ride back home...di was telling me of this funny incident that happened at Mom's dinner farewell party at our house. That started the whole fuss of where I was during that evening...coz I didn't have a memory of being there. Finally, it hit me where I had been. With Armaan. It was our first date. Ofcourse I didn't say this to di...but she noticed how quiet and lost I had become. Thankfully, I got out of that situation.
Our first date. I didn't know what to think when he had called me that night to ask me out. Was he intrested in me?? Did he actually like me or was he just testing the waters?? I was just so confused...and excited. It had been a long time since I had last gone on a date. And you know Bobo that I have never had some serious boyfriends. If guys asked me out, I just went and enjoyed myself...but usually nothing worked out. So I was pretty freaked out about going with him coz...
1. We weren't the best of friends at work...but it wasn't as if we didn't know much about each other. So the question arised of what we would talk about on out first date?? Because the normal procedure that stranger couples go through is about getting to know each other which was done with between us.
2. I'll admit that I was scared I would make a fool of myself...coz the guy is totally opposite of me. I mean, he's confident, funny and outgoing(which meant that he was really good at this dating game)...all the things I'm not. The man is basically gorgeous...in other words, you would find a lambi line of admireres behind him. So, I was nervous about this whole date.
3.What if things didn't work out?? We would still have to work with each other...and I have read and seen enough experiences to know that co-workers who have bad blood between them go through hell while working.
The call was done with. I had whispered a shy "Yes"...which made him go kinda hyper...that boosted my ego a little. It wasn't like I wasn't dying to go out with him...it was just that I was apprehensive and nervous.
Finally the night arrived. He had asked me for a confirmation again during the day. But the news of my mom leaving the hospital diverted my attention for the rest of the day. I was all busy with the preparation of a farewell dinner for Mom...when it suddenly struck me. Thank you God for making me remember...if I had forgotten about the date...I can honestly say that I would have missed out on one of the most passionate moments of my life.
So I ran out, caught an auto, checked my watch...I was half an hour late. My heart was beating so fast...I thought I would faint. Then just to divert my mind...I checked my mobile for any missed calls from him...but got none. Then I started worrying about my dress and makeup...my dress was pretty fine...I had dressed up for the dinner...and I had also decided earlier in the day that I would wear something simple. But the makeup...I had to get a check on that. Surely, a girl just can't go on her first date without checking on her makeup...so I made the auto stop at a hotel...rushed in the bathroom...made sure that everything was looking okay...and proceeded to the BB court.
That whole trip took me an hour...God, I was soo embarassed. But forcing myslf to enter the BB court...I walked in and started to look around for him. But he was nowhere around. I decided to look around outside the court and as I started turning....I heard his voice.
"Ridhima"...OMG, my heart started beating so hard...I thought it would explode. So, I turn around...and I stare at him. I literally stare. THAT MAN WAS LOOKING BRILLIANTLY RAVISHING. I swear...I thought I was in a movie or something....he was wearing this transparent white shirt over blue jeans and looking at me so intensely...it was like we were some long-lost lovers. I can still remember the blazing look in his eyes...it told me..."that I was the one". God, that hurts so much.
Then he starts walking towards me...and I just keep staring. I couldn't move or say anything...I just wanted to stay there and look in his eyes forvever. Scorchingly, he came forward and leaned his forhead on mind. Ahhhh....the burning desire it produced. I guess, I can say that was the moment I was physically attracted to him. I just wanted to do things with him that I've never imagined with anybody else. It was that intense.
Surprisingly, I found my voice to ask him about him still waiting for me. And he said, "Mujhe maloom tha tum aayogi....aur agar tum nahi aati, to mai poore zindagi tumhara intezaar karta...magar mujhe maloom hai ki tum mujhe itna intezaar nahi karati". The words still echo inside my head. And now I realize, that he had been in love with me since then. Then all of a sudden, he clasped my hands and moved them upwards to kiss them. And the next moment defined Armaan Malik for me. He leaned forward to kiss them...but slowly looked up into my eyes to make sure if that was okay with me. That made me love him. His understanding and caringness to look at my hesitation...won me over. At that moment, I decided I was ready to do things with him...that I would never allow any man to do with me on the first date.
But suddenly, out of the blue, I got a glimpse of dad in my mind...and I moved away. It was just for a second...but that made me move slightly away from his grasp. But the passion in the air stopped me in my steps again. That's when I felt his masculind fingers slightly grazing my ear while placing my hair behind my ear. My knees almost gave away...I just couldn't think straight. What were we doing?? Why were we acting like this without even saying a "Hi"??
All these questions stopped...as he slowly came around in front of me. His face was sooo close...I could feel his skin grazing mine. Then he started lifting my chin up...he was going for the kiss. And I was happy that he was finally doing it. All the teasing with the touches and all was making me go crazy...I just wanted him to kiss me. The atmosphere that night was certainly making me go off-limits.
He leaned forward...I could feel his touch on my chin...his breath on my face..God, the fervor...the teasing. Finally, when I was getting desperate for him to kiss me...he leaned back and asked "Ek BB ka match hojaye?"...In my head, I was like "WHATTTT!!!"
I wanted to kill him that moment...I really did...but that need was not much greater than the need of grabbing him myself and kissing him. I just stared at him with a confused expression for a while...then he picked up a ball..and placed it between us. Suddenly, it started raining and he started playing.
I was going to seriously ask him what the deal was...when he looked up while bouncing the ball...and gave me this small seductive smile....my stomach started doing all these kinds of weird tingly flip-flops. Hehe...that feeling has never left me since we met. Anyways, we played for the rest of the date...and I must say it was a flawless date. It had romance, fun and excitement in it.
On to more dates...wait nahi, I want to tell you about the time we were in Lonavla...so it...Ahhh, dad's friend is here...I have to go and meet him. So, lets do this...I'll finish my other half of the entry later. Hehe...well, it can't be called another half coz this entry turned out to be quite long...but that's nothing compared to the space Armaan Malik occupies in my heart and dreams. Acha, I'm off. Take care. Bye.
Basket
7th entry
Monday 5th May
Written: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/dill-mill-gaye/935803/5thmayupdt-ammy-back-in-action-again
Video: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/936124
Dear Keeper-of-my-secret-world,
So, I just opened you up all excited and noticed my last entry. I know I said I would talk about the Lonavla trip with Armaan but right now, I really wanted to talk about what's happening in the present. I know...God, I'm such a ditcher...but I swear I wouldn't have turned my back like this if it wasn't really important. I promise promise promise that I will definitely do it the next time. I know you will understand...pretty please with a cherry on top!!...So, am I forgiven...can I proceed??
Okay...so now that you have the hugest heart and most understanding nature...I'll move on to tell you all about the happenings of my life. So, I'm pretty much still in the process of manofying Armaan. I know...the man seems to be quite akdoo...ab aur kitni ghulami karni padegi nahi maloom. But it's kinda fun too.
I'm slowly realizing a different side of me. A fun side to me. People say this is supposed to happen due to being in love...and that's what is probably happening. I mean, just by faking to do certain things for Armaan...I have started to really understand and explore my likes/dislikes. It's said that you discover yourself two times in life- during your teen years and during your marriage years.
Mine seems to be a weird and alien phase. But no problem...as long as I'm enjoying it. You ask what am I talking about?? Getting you confused huh?? Acha, so the most wildest and so-not-Ridhima act that I've done recently is to perform on the song "Zara zara touch me touch me" for Armaan. PUBLICLY. I don't know how I did it...but the only thing that was going through my head while I was doing it was that this really felt good. It made me feel good about myself. And that mattered to me.
It made me realize that alot of my life is made up of dad's wishes. It's not like he forces me to act or do things in a certain way...coz di does anything and everything she wants...but I've always felt that I should be somone who dad will always be proud of. So, I've shaped my life around trying to match myself to that image. Yesterday, when I was doing that dance for Armaan...I realized that this was something I love. It made me question my school years of not opening up to public display acts or performances. And it's not like this would have been a bad thing...but I had always wanted to shape myslef in dad's persona.
Armaan's presence in my life is making me realize a lot of things. Everyday, he makes me learn a new thing about myslef. The little things I do for him or the way I act in situations with him...surprise me. And satisfy me. There's this person in me who's been waiting so long to show her side to the world. To show it to that special person. To show it to Armaan.
So anyways, I seem to be making progress with mission Armaan. Slow progress...but progress. That's atleast something. My main aim is to make him normal first. Make him be the Armaan he was. Make him be best friends with Atul again, make him play pranks on me, make him team up with di to bully others...make him the person he is. Make his smile return. Other than that, I don't really care about us right now. I have it really clear in my mind...that the most important thing is to make Armaan normal. After that, I can start planning on our relationship.
Till then, I don't want to consider it. I don't want to dwell on what's going to be of us. Because it's really painful. And I want to be in good sprits at present coz it takes alot of energy to keep going through this process. Bechare men. They have to always deal with women when their mad and make it up to them. Hehe...I'm glad that I'm a woman. After we get married, I swaer I'll make Armaan do all the running and begging behind me. Hehe...I'm so evil. But whatever, I'm sure no girl has ever tried to patao her boyfriend so much as I'm doing...so he'll owe it to me in the future.
Acha, I'll have to keep this diary entry short as that's all I have to say on the matter till now. And I'm also getting kinda sleepy. So, I'll keep you updated and posted on my life. Bear with me coz I love you dearly. Will be back soon to share secrets. Take care. Bye love.
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8th entry
He wanted to say something to me. And I just couldn't wait to hear. But the words seemed to have stuck somewhere in his throat. Eventually, when he did speak, it was to inform that Dr.Keerti had arrived to meet me. I silently looked down dissappointed as he excused himself and left.
I was to go to Lonavala for a medical checkup of the kids. It was okay with me as you know how much I love spending time over there. All my summer vacation memories are bunched up in that one single place...it's that close to me. Thankfully, he seemed to love it too as he would tell me later...coz I had made a wish earlier in my life to settle their after marriage. It would be the most peaceful thing ever. And beautiful too.
So now, I'm on my way over there travelling on a bus and who do I encounter?? Some cheap people troubling the elderly. Now you very well know, how much I detest that Bobo...it's one of the things I simply cannot stand...which is disrespecting elders. So, being me, I divert their attention towards me by demanding them to stop...and what do you know...their pouncing upon me in seconds. Hehe...I'm such a drama queen sometimes. So anyways, I'm standing there screaming at this guy who's holding my hand to leave me...when my hero enters the picture. It truly reminds me of that hindi saying, "Yeh das kilo ka haath jab padta hai, to koi nahi bachta". And that's what happened. Armaan just worked his magic with that one hand. It was kinda romantic, now that I think about it, on how he saved me. Apparently, he had been sitting there behind me for the past one hour.
The rest of the trip was awkward but exciting. You know how it feels when your uncomfortable with this guy but loving it...that was how it felt like. So the next thing I know, it's morning, and we have reached Lonavla, and I'm jerked up from my sleep. That's when I notice how I'm sleeping. Or should I say, how we BOTH were sleeping. His head was still on top of mine and I just couldn't move my head without dropping his head. So, I slightly nudged him. The slight smile that he gave me when he opened his eyes took my breath away. It was the look in his eyes mixed with that smile...that gave the feeling that he had been dreaming about me. No girl would understand this feeling until they experience it themselves. To gaze into this man's eyes and see yourself through his vision makes your heart melt.
Hmmm...what else?? Oh yeah...the water fight. Before I tell you about that, let me just confess something. My idea of perfect romance involves for things to be unexpected and random. I don't particularly find it romantic if things are planned ahead and everything is organized. So, I can honestly say, that the water fight made my attraction to Armaan go up a few notches higher. Saying that, I shall proceed. Hehe...don'd mind my judicial language, I'm presently reading this storybook involving lawyers.
Anyways, as I was saying, this whole thing started with Armaan. I was holding a hose pipe for the children to wash their hands after lunch. Everthing was going smooth, until Armaan steps up, and he decides to flirt with me at the most wrong moment. Beacuse firstly, there were kids around who were gawking at us...and secondly, he was making us look all unprofessional. No seriously, what would you think, if you saw two doctors getting lost in each other's eyes while washing hands?? It was such a wrong move...coz that touch of his was affecting me in ways that I cannot reveal. What if I had gotten too involved in his hypnotic gaze???...I could have ended up doing something really embarassing in front of the kids.
Thankfully we got past that. As were still lost in each other, Gappu's voice booms in our dreams to inform us that I have spilled water all over Armaan's jeans. That started the whole thing. I'm sure it wasn't even the kids urgings for him to take revenge...I'm sure he wanted to spill water all over me. Naughty as he is. So he sprays water all over me and I don't even realize when the kids join in. The next thing I know everybody is running around dripping wet while squealing. But it was too much fun. I got so involved in it that when Bua came out, I snatched the hose from Armaan and tried to water her. Later, full daant padi Bua sey. But whatever, it's one of my most fun moments with him. I could see us having more of these fun times in the future. Probably when our relationship will be open...Amen to that.
So yeah, where was I?? God, why do I always digress from the topic?...something's seriously wrong with me. Hehe...acha toh, the real fun starts after Bua takes the kids inside. We stay out there another 10 minutes just screaming,running,laughing and splashing water on each other. I truly adored him at that moment. It's the Armaan I want to live my whole life with. The Armaan that I admire, the man the I'm comfortable with, the man I want to love.
Just to let you know, we were there for just one day. So all this happened during that one magical day. That last thing that happend between us will always stay with me. And I hope it stays with him too. I could feel it in me that he would be waiting outside. It was just this gut instinct. So when Bua was showing me some of her saris, I picked one out and insisted on wearing one for that night. Leaving her confused, I rushed in to get ready. That night, I truly made some effort to look nice for him. But the end product was just not me. Staring at myself in the mirror, I realized that Armaan was waiting to see Ridhima...and not someone else. So I took out most of my makeup and some jewelery...then stepped out.
He looked so pretty. So handsome. So gorgeous. So manly. So beautiful, So magnificient. I wanted to run into his arms and stay there forever. That's the feeling that excluded from my body upon laying my eyes on his. Clad in a white kurta, he looked everything like a "sexy male munda". Surprisingly, I managed to reach there in one piece without gawking. We made small talk, but nice talk...and while talking about the weather, he said "Kitni achi raat hai nai"...and then turned to stare at me...and said "It's beautiful". My heart thumped so loudly that I looked up in embarassment to check if he had heard it.
I clasped my hand in his. This was just our moment. I wanted to lose myself in it. Who knew, if God would give me another chance? So forgetting all my inhibitions, I let myself free and allowed all his advances. His touch on my waist sparked me with such intesity that I had to avert my head to hide the reaction. I could feel his hand exploring the mysteries of my skin. He slowly pulled me closer until my cheek was touching the side of his head. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave in. We moved around like that for some time. I could feel him breathing on my neck and it sent sparks to the tip of my toes. God, my whole body heats up just thinking about that moment.
So, we danced like that for some time. Then he pulled back a little and stared deep into my eyes. Time stopped for some time. I could have lost myself in that time for centuries. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to tell him. About my feelings for him. He had captured me in this place. He had won me over. I didn't want to keep him waiting now. The moment had come. I was going to confess. "Ridhima beti, aap ka phone hai"...that words killed my heart. Pushing him away from me, I quickly straightened up and looked up.
That was it. Something terrible was happening at home. Had to get back. So that was the end of my very "magnificent" trip with Armaan. I'll always treasure that day. It remains etched deep in my heart. I want to end this entry by just saying one thing to Armaan-I love you baby!! Your my life. Your my heart.
Ridhima
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