1st Oct Discussion - Ajao Saray - Page 20

Aaj toh sabne emotional hi kardiya!😆

@divya- OMG. You have got a lot of courage. Kudos to that!

Originally posted by: inlieu

OMG. Well, at least she was honest from day 1.

They also shared a joint household while my father was at university and I was a baby. I could cook up a few dramas from the stuff that followed... So I can relate to Minnie too, because I on the other hand was always Mamie ki jaan. I would have taken no abuse of her as well.

I also understand that it is hard for Babita to swallow Minnie's support for her grandparents, but it is not just because of the Khuranas. It's also because of the toxic interdependence of the two that has been going on for too long now. Mickey should bring on some change....

I still hope NB blasts Irfaan's plans by moving in with HS. Open up one more room for her. And very much sorry for that Immu munchkin if that happens, because he would be missing out on so much.

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

EXACTLY!!!

Damn this was recent, where I got a very very rude reality check by my mother that I'm bound to get married. Cooking aani chahiye, ghar ka kaam aana chahiye. Public mein accha behave karo. Look good. Dress up decently. It is unsaid but its begun. I can feel it.

UGGGHHH. I guess the more I get unnecessarily pushed, the more I stop caring about it.🤣

LMAO, my mom doesn't harp about it all the time (thank god). She just slips it in once a while.

I've noticed it right now but I'm quite lazy when it comes to my own parents. We all have our own set of duties at home. I take care of the dishes (loading it into the washer and taking them out), dad takes care of the laundry, while mom takes care of all the bathroom stuff. As for food, we all do that in turns. So for us, it's never taught that these chores are a feminine thing. Rather, it's a survival skill. You need to know how to do these things if you're ever to live on your own. It's the same with my Chachaji. When he was living with his friends, the guys all had to learn how to do these basic things on their own. They didn't have their parents looking after them.

Same thing with the behavior and dressing sense. It's not drilled into me with the context of marriage. It's more so, it's better if you learn these things for your own individual growth. When you walk into the world, you're first walking alone. So the impressions that people first have of you will be on you. Everything else is a side thought.

Originally posted by: tk2015

Exactly! This is why I'm hell-bent on doing something for myself. Even if I may or may not be as emotionally strong, I at least want to have financial independence. If something happens, I would not have that aspect to worry about. There is no guarantee on who you can fall back on, because sometimes even the most well-meaning people have their own set of issues and can be rendered helpless.

Yup!

I've learnt that being financially independent is the most important thing. If you're not that, then you're going to have a really hard time when troubles arise. Also, it makes it easier for you not to be taken advantage of. At least, that's how I feel.

Originally posted by: tk2015

Maybe she will. College studies halwa nahi hoti. Not so easy. Maybe she will learn to focus on herself or her future the hard way. Then again, she didn't learn from the entire admission ordeal when she skipped the entrance exam for the photography competition.

Yassss! You're right.

Hannie together in any scene are always on fire. HS wanted to bash Khatri so badly; some residual anger from the marriage too, I'm sure. Khatri eyes his wife and daughter too much for our thanedaar to ignore.

The way he called her beta when he was trying to calm her down.

I was just thinking, she's lucky to have a young father who can actually beat bad guys up (not that she needs his help in doing so). Icing on the cake is him being a cop.

Originally posted by: tk2015

I agree. But I also don't want to live in a world where basic compassion has to be asked for or acquired. If we keep painting the picture that in-laws almost never treat DIL as daughter, will anything ever change? Shouldn't we fight now for our haq to be accepted equally into our new "home" as the son or their daughter is? Maybe then in our future generations we'll see improvement? I don't know, maybe I'm a bit naive in this manner. I know how my mother has lived, but can't we change that?

I am with you on that.

I have seen my mom live that too. Still does. Just like Mini I have told her to stand up for herself. And whenever she does, she ends up hurting herself more coz she is not good at accusing people or stoooing to their level. She gives up and comes back more troubled. She doesn’t have it in her to fight and verbally abuse someone. And I have seen lovely type of people can stoop to any level if and when replied.

Anyhow, point is, I don’t excuse Khuranas under in-laws aise hote hai. I don’t want injustice. Fine, you love your daughter more but Just treat me like I am human.

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

We definetly can but I doubt we'd be understood, unless we treat them in the same fashion first. Cause agar bahu zara bhi expectation rakhe to haaye ram kitni buri hai! Meanwhile in laws can do whatever they want.

Ugghh. I don't think this aspect can ever be understood by people who are like Khuranas.

You are right.

But then when PB like show goes on and say in-laws tog in-laws hote hai.

That’s wrong too.

Are you justifying abuse by so gravely underplaying it?

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

EXACTLY!!!

Damn this was recent, where I got a very very rude reality check by my mother that I'm bound to get married. Cooking aani chahiye, ghar ka kaam aana chahiye. Public mein accha behave karo. Look good. Dress up decently. It is unsaid but its begun. I can feel it.

UGGGHHH. I guess the more I get unnecessarily pushed, the more I stop caring about it.🤣

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

LMAO, my mom doesn't harp about it all the time (thank god). She just slips it in once a while.

I've noticed it right now but I'm quite lazy when it comes to my own parents. We all have our own set of duties at home. I take care of the dishes (loading it into the washer and taking them out), dad takes care of the laundry, while mom takes care of all the bathroom stuff. As for food, we all do that in turns. So for us, it's never taught that these chores are a feminine thing. Rather, it's a survival skill. You need to know how to do these things if you're ever to live on your own. It's the same with my Chachaji. When he was living with his friends, the guys all had to learn how to do these basic things on their own. They didn't have their parents looking after them.

Same thing with the behavior and dressing sense. It's not drilled into me with the context of marriage. It's more so, it's better if you learn these things for your own individual growth. When you walk into the world, you're first walking alone. So the impressions that people first have of you will be on you. Everything else is a side thought.

Ofcourse it ain't evident or all the time. But the slips in between hurt hard.

Lmao, here it's like everything the females have to do. My father or grandfather can barely boil water and don't step into kitchen.

Dressing ka chodo, I wanted to say something else but let it be. Marriage perspective nahi tha, just general 'girl' restrictions.

Originally posted by: inlieu

HS is not going to tolerate this behavior and I wonder if there will be another countdown with her or if he talks to her about not misbehaving with Babita.

She will get into trouble and I fear that one day when HS will try to discipline her, she will tell ask him who he was to be so strict with her, he wasn't her father!

It will be a recall to the time when he had told her to change and she had retorted by saying that till now no one had ever asked to her change, except him.

The thing with Minnie is that at times she is right in what she says, but her way of bringing things forward is absolutely wrong. And then there's the fact that because of this whole friendship relation she has with her mom, she doesn't see when she crosses the line with her. Just look at HS & Naeem Bi. There have been times when he has disagreed with her but he has never crossed the line with her by showing her disrespect.