I had to make a seperate topic for this because I feel there's a lot to unpack with this angle.
Honestly, Hanuman is yet to articulate even to himself, what it is he truly feels for Babita.....he acknowledges that it's love, attachment....but in the next breath, he also says that he only loves Imarti. These two sentences contradict each other unless he acknowledges that he loves both of them in different ways.....he is yet to do that directly....for a reason....the writers are probably saving that for a larger journey in the course of HB's marriage.
My own theory for this is as follows.....what Hanuman feels for Babita is way too deep for him to face just yet. What began initially as him feeling that Babita reminds him of Imarti has now morphed into something much more complex.....what began as him thinking of Babita as this fragile flower waiting to blossom has now taken on many other forms.
There's a few interesting scenes that I feel point to Hanuman's internal struggle.....like the scene when Naeem Bi asks him what's holding him back from telling Babita how he feels and he hides behind Imarti as an excuse....stating that there is nothing left in him to give to anyone because all he had went with Imarti...to which Naeem Bi counters that he should then let Babita go.....and Hanuman freezes....chokes up like he can't even fathom that thought. And that is the issue in a nutshell....he can't face the possibility that he can feel something deeper than what he felt for Imarti.....it would feel like a betrayal to her memory but at the same time, he can't let go of Babita either.
It is fascinating how different Imarti and Babita are......Imarti had a fierce sparkle to her....while Babita has an air of fragility to her....these big wan eyes looking up at Hanuman....I suspect that undoes him....ofcourse Babita's air of fragility is deceptive in a sense as Hanuman has eventually discovered....lol she can look fragile but store a lot inside her.....nevertheless, I think her air of fragility brings out a powerful emotion in Hanuman....he reveres her in some ways....feels awed by her....despite all her frailties or other human failings.....Hanuman is drawn to courage....and I think he's drawn to the quiet courage inside Babita.....it is so very different from his other experiences of courage....including the one with Imarti....
I feel initially Hanuman hid behind the fact that Babita reminded him of Imarti....it was easy to label it as deja vu because he's only felt that attachment for Imarti before so if he feels it for anyone else, it must be because she reminds him of Imarti.....he does know very well that Babita is not Imarti.....but I think he associates that kind of warmth with Imarti and transfers it onto his interactions with Babita....like the way he got emotional seeing her doing the Tulsi aarti or whenever she feeds him....he is so emotionally overwhelmed.
It is significant that Hanuman deliberately hasn't shared any of his memories of Imarti directly with Babita.....he's only spoken of her in general terms with Babita....and offlate, he shuts down whenever Babita even tries to bring up Imarti.....I find this very telling that Hanuman isn't ready to face his emotions for Babita and Imarti simultaneously.....he isn't ready to let Babita into that world because that would mean facing some truths he's hiding from himself as well. Instead, he shares those memories with Mini....because it's easier....it's a safer space where he gets unconditional trust more easily than with Babita where things are way more complex because she is a wounded soul herself. I also find it interesting that Hanuman just unravels whenever Babita connects with Imarti's emotions .....he looks haunted and overwhelmed...Babita strikes a nerve that he isn't ready to grapple with.....why does it hit him so hard that Babita understands Imarti and his love for Imarti so well?
The real depth of Hanuman's emotions for Babita will only start emerging once he is ready to face himself with this truth. Just like Babita grapples with self-doubt and self-worth.....Hanuman has those demons inside him as well....I don't think they have been fully exorcised yet despite the Imarti court case being dismissed.....He does grapple with doubt about whether he is worthy of Babita....precisely because he feels she has already been through so much in life and he is not a simple man to be with himself....there is a raw side to him that he deliberately hides from Babita because he feels she won't be able to handle it like Imarti did with her fierceness.....this side comes out very rarely like in the pottery scene and the one where Babita tried to stop him from drinking.....but it very much exists underneath the affable demeanor.
I suspect that in this journey, Babita will surprise Hanuman as always....it's that quiet courage....it always comes out of nowhere with her....she will stand up to him in a different way than Imarti.....that is what he has to come to terms with as well.....but to get there, both of them will need to travel the journey of haq I think.....this marriage is a step towards that....Babita needs that sense of security to begin to come out of her shell and exercise her rights....Hanuman too needs to adjust to the idea of giving the label of wife to someone other than Imarti....and I think more issues will be addressed in the process.
There is a sense of hopefulness in both of them to want to form this new bond together....especially Hanuman....he can't live without Babita....he can put on a brave front but he will shatter if he truly loses her....he's said as much to Laale once.....there is so much discussion about Babita's fears, people sometimes forget that Hanuman himself is grappling with fears inside that he is too afraid to share with Babita yet.....because her own fears debilitate her more obviously than his do right now....but those fears very much exist....and they will need to be addressed at some point.
They are both so lucky to have Mini to tide them through the rough patches where they struggle so much with their inner demons.....just like Mini has done with Babita for so long, she's given Hanuman that shoulder to cry on when he's gone through his lowest point.....Babita just hasn't reached that point yet because it is much more complex b/w man-woman than it is with a child....so it will take time for her to reach that place in Hanuman's life....just like he is gradually getting to that place with Babita too.
I suspect it will hit Hanuman like a thunderbolt the day he realizes just how deep these emotions run.
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