I agree...and it’s not just the guilt of loving someone other than Imarti...I think some of it is also about loving someone so markedly different from Imarti. He keeps saying many times that Babita reminds him of Imarti as if that gives him solace...but I actually think he’s hiding behind that excuse because he hasn’t fully reconciled to feeling love for a person so different from what he thought his ideal was - Imarti. There’s a reason I think Naeem Bi scolded him many times for saying Babita did something like Imarti.
He isn’t consciously looking for Imarti in Babita....but the emotion of love is so synonymous with Imarti in his conscious, that he isn’t being able to properly seperate the two.
At the same time though, what he feels for Babita is so powerful that all these complex contradictory emotions aren’t able to keep him away from her either. He craves her, craves her love...despite claiming that he himself loves only Imarti.
I also find it interesting how he comes undone by any small gesture or touch from Babita...is it because he’s purposely closed himself off for so long after Imarti or is it Babita herself that brings out such powerful responses from him? That’s what remains to be seen. I feel it may be a mix of the two.
Another scene I find relevant in this conversation is the one when he tells Laale that he wants a complete Babita for himself, not a fragmented one...he is ready to wait for that moment, but conversely, he hasn’t fully looked inside himself to address whether he is giving Babita all of himself or fragments of himself. Is he expecting something from her that he himself isn’t giving her properly yet? Human emotions are so complex that way. Some things are easier said than done...especially when the shoe is on the other foot.
Perhaps he too wants Babita to give him that patience that will help him piece together those fragments and give himself as a whole to her. That is the journey.
I know the story has been presented as Imarti changing Hanuman into the evolved progressive guy he became but I feel the challenge for Babita May be greater since he is now a man grappling with complex emotions from his past....and Babita is a woman carrying her own scars - which Imarti was not.
This has the potential to be a very powerfully compelling journey for Hanuman and Babita together.
I love the fact that Babita isn't like Imarti. There's a bravery, courage and a fire to them both but they take on different forms. I appreciate how these qualities are being presented in different facets. In today's culture, when we say "strong woman" there are certain traits that come to mind because they have been so heavily propagated by the media: physically strong, loud, brash, argumentative etc. Women who are meek, reserved and shy on the other hand, are seen as being incredibly weak and in some cases, even oppressed. What happened with Babita was not right and she ended up damaged as a result of her not speaking up. But the fact that she stayed quiet for 17 whole years says a lot about her strength too.
Because Imarti was his first love, I can understand why he's having difficulties separating her from Babita. Since Babita is different, his love for her will be different too, as will her ways of dealing with him. Again, I think he knows this to some extent, but we'll know for sure when it comes to practice.
After Imarti's death, HS had no doubt closed himself off. I don't know if he ever felt attracted to another woman but Babita is just something different. I believe Babita is the first woman whom he allowed into his home. Then there's the fact that he gave her the room where he and Imarti had resided. He offered her a physical space in his home and slowly, she came to live in his heart too. If Babita truly is the first woman whom he felt attracted to after Imarti, then his emotions are undoubtedly going to be soaring high.
I'm constantly struggling with this notion of complete and fragmentation. How can you even decide when someone is complete? And is it fair to make someone wait that long?
Imarti may not have been carrying the same kind of scars that Babita has but she too had her own fair share of struggles. Transforming HS from a bandar into a man and dealing with HS' drunkard dad wouldn't have been easy tasks. Then there's the fact that apart from Imarti's fear of surgery, and the paranoia of losing HS, we never really got to see her with any flaws. She has always been presented in an empowered position. Hanita however, I see are on the same level. They're both carrying baggage from the past that needs to be dealt with.
Anupamaa
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