Widow remarriage.... a sign of dependency or a right???????????? - Page 3

Originally posted by: SRKisLove

I guess we are forgetting that we are urban audiences and most of us don't have an idea of what ppl in BHARAT go through. we are happy in our INDIA.

Lets first remember that INDIA and BHARAT are two different entities.

Even today many people marry off the widows to a younger brother or something, to keep the widows within the family, and more importantly the child within the family.

We know that Vyom and Kavya's families were against their marriage. That itself shows that Vyom or Kavya's families would not accept Kavya and Aarush back, esp. not Kavya's family because she married against their wish.

Vyom knows that Kavya and Aarush are all alone. If it was only Kavya maybe he would have not taken that promise from Kabir, but his son is also involved here.

Vyom at the time of death, did not think much. Maybe his method was wrong, maybe he should have asked Kabir to look after his wife and son, instead of marriage. But lets be real. If Kabir would have got married later, say to Ishani, then he would have had his own family, and his wife, wouldn't have liked Kabir taking care of Kavya and Aarush.

To Vyom it looked like the best possible option, to secure his wife and son's future. Maybe it was selfish to not think of Kabir's and Kavya's wishes. But no one is in their right mind when they are about to die.

As for Kavya, she accepted it to honor Vyom's last wish. There is nothing more to that.

Our society still finds ways to ostracize widows.

This is one issue I have had with people on IF since my first show here (DBO). People are very quick to judge characters and call them regressive. Breathe for once, and take in a character's background.

People expect girls from the village who don't get an opportunity to study to become astro-physicists, thats difficult (happened in my previous show).

Let us think from the character's perspective, instead of forcing our ideas on characters.

Peace🤗

People are so unaware of real world. Yes he shud have asked him to look after them. No there are wives who have no issues with supporting a friend's family. There is enough clarity for so many.

Originally posted by: smol-bean

I agree with a lot of things in this the post but 'widow remarriage' is not the problem but Vyom literally shoved his decision on Kavya , this isn't a choice. And it would have been exactly same for a man who decides to remarry for himself/or his child but the decision should be his alone. It shouldnt be shoved upon anyone.

If it would have been shown that after Vyom's death , Kavya and Kabeer fell in love and they got remarried out of love , it would have been a choice. Or maybe Kavya himself decided to get married to Kabir because Arush wanted it , that too is acceptable. But both isn't the case.

Vyom decided that his wife should marry Kabir but why ? Its not his decision to make. Why should even Kabir marry Kavya ?

He left both of them with no choice to find love rather pushed them towards sacrifice.

I find this plot very weak , just bad writing. It could have been executed so much better. The show is portraying such an important issue but the execution is terrible.

Right. He shud ask him to look after them and then they shud gradually marry after forming a relation, not predestined to do so.

That is what is the point. It shud be the right not sign of dependency like shown in this show.

Originally posted by: LTLFan

Ppl complain of remarriage bec some wanted zain and shrenu pair possibility. Aur koi deep reason nahi hai. LOL

I dont think circumstances of marriage is revealed fully yet. Weren't they shooting for flashback scenes with vyom? Are they aired yet? I have watched some scenes only of the show. So if not shown how ppl assume vyom forced her and all that. In todays episode kavya made it clear she is ok with the marriage.

What the? People do feel weird knowing that a husband asks is friend to marry his wife directly instead of looking after her or take care of her which they shud decide and they shud decide in the future, but not by him!

Originally posted by: SRKisLove

I guess we are forgetting that we are urban audiences and most of us don't have an idea of what ppl in BHARAT go through. we are happy in our INDIA.

Lets first remember that INDIA and BHARAT are two different entities.

Even today many people marry off the widows to a younger brother or something, to keep the widows within the family, and more importantly the child within the family.

We know that Vyom and Kavya's families were against their marriage. That itself shows that Vyom or Kavya's families would not accept Kavya and Aarush back, esp. not Kavya's family because she married against their wish.

Vyom knows that Kavya and Aarush are all alone. If it was only Kavya maybe he would have not taken that promise from Kabir, but his son is also involved here.

Vyom at the time of death, did not think much. Maybe his method was wrong, maybe he should have asked Kabir to look after his wife and son, instead of marriage. But lets be real. If Kabir would have got married later, say to Ishani, then he would have had his own family, and his wife, wouldn't have liked Kabir taking care of Kavya and Aarush.

To Vyom it looked like the best possible option, to secure his wife and son's future. Maybe it was selfish to not think of Kabir's and Kavya's wishes. But no one is in their right mind when they are about to die.

As for Kavya, she accepted it to honor Vyom's last wish. There is nothing more to that.

Our society still finds ways to ostracize widows.

This is one issue I have had with people on IF since my first show here (DBO). People are very quick to judge characters and call them regressive. Breathe for once, and take in a character's background.

People expect girls from the village who don't get an opportunity to study to become astro-physicists, thats difficult (happened in my previous show).

Let us think from the character's perspective, instead of forcing our ideas on characters.

Peace🤗

Saying to take care doesn't need much brain cells than asking to marry. It needs even more brain cells.

Originally posted by: -JaZ-

haven't read all posts here nor I'm watching this show but still having an idea of what this post is about, a husband asking for his wife's marriage with his friend just coz he is dying is itself very regressive, that's completely belittling his wife's ability to survive as a single mother and taking away the right to decide from her...and his friend too has emotions he might have always saw her as his bhabhi or a sister so it also undermines the sanctity of the bond his friend n his wife had shared...still if he had said it out of the blue Kabir n kavya should have thought rationally, Kabir could have provided her the support like financially, morally etc n kavya also should have simply cleared how she is not willing to marry him only coz her dying husband had said it...then in future if both fall in love thats where widow remarriage, widow's right to move on etc comes into picture not now, atm the scenario is very much like they are in some 18th or 19th century 😛

Right just bcos he asked for promise they don't need to fulfill it. It shud have gradually progressed and i hope it did.

Originally posted by: LTLFan

Ppl complain of remarriage bec some wanted zain and shrenu pair possibility. Aur koi deep reason nahi hai. LOL

I dont think circumstances of marriage is revealed fully yet. Weren't they shooting for flashback scenes with vyom? Are they aired yet? I have watched some scenes only of the show. So if not shown how ppl assume vyom forced her and all that. In todays episode kavya made it clear she is ok with the marriage.

Actually it is the other way. TM simply wanted to support Kabir Kavya so they brought it when they know it is completely unnecessary and baseless to bring the two together. This post is not needed.

Oh dear, I thought sammy was back.

Who ever you are, the person who revived this thread( since I don't know your name), you surprised me a lot😛

Originally posted by: sammy17

I had to make this post as this has become a strong issue on this forum where I have seen many members saying that kavya shouldn't have remarried to her husband's best friend and should have stayed single to prove she can be strong and independent and that this is a weak and illogical plot. Here is why I find this thinking so wrong. Please do think about the following points.

Why is marriage for kavya a bad solution? First of all Kavya married her late husband's best friend to honour his dying wish. So she was honouring his wish, which was one of the reasons.

My second and important point is remarrying doesn't make her a weak person if she decides she wants to remarry for her child's security or for herself. Plenty of men remarry in order to move on in life or to give their child a mother, so why would a woman be weak if she remarried in order to get support for herself and her child or simply because she wants to move on?

We never call men in the same situation weak if it is a man who is widowed with a child and decides he wants to remarry for the sake of his child or move on, which happens all the time. Does a woman have to remain alone and her child to remain fatherless just for the sake of proving she is strong etc? In a practical and progressing world where widows are now allowed to move on in life, why should a female character in shows be expected to remain single and not want to give her child a father figure just for the sake of showing an independent woman as people on this forum are suggesting. Doesn't that just propagate the idea that widows can't remarry and should stay single? Doesn't that take away a widow's right to choose to restart her life by judging her for remarrying. When widows now have the right to remarry unlike before, why can't they exercise that right if they want to instead of being judged as a weak and dependent person? Like I said, I don't see the same judgement for men in this situation.

That makes for my third point. Shouldn't a woman's wishes and choices be respected and she be given the right to make choices for herself without being judged whether that be having the right to remarry after her husband's death or to stay single and not be forced to remarry if she doesn't want to? Kavya made the choice that she wants to remarry both for her husband's dying wish and for her son, so she gets that right, the problem is that indian society still seems to stop widowed women from moving on and expect them to live in the past, which is wrong as this snatches the freedom to make a choice for themselves and instead forcing women to conform to society's views on how a woman should live.

People are saying kavya marrying her dead husband's friend is illogical, a weak plot and that she should have stayed single to make her strong and independent. I simply don't understand the need for this. It isn't a weak plot at all. A weak plot would be something incredibly unrealistic that doesn't make sense, which this isn't as many widowed women and men with or without children remarry in real life in order to move on. I'm sorry but I simply don't get why people are having issue to the idea of a widowed woman with a young child marrying again and instead suggesting that she should have stayed single and independent and that it would be more logical if she didn't remarry. I don't see how that's more logical when widow remarriage happens a lot now (thankfully). Logic isn't expecting a widowed woman to stay single and raise her child on her own if she wants to remarry, especially when she has been given a choice.

The point I am trying to make through this rather lengthy post is that by suggesting that a widowed woman like kavya with a now fatherless child should stay single and be independent is the same as taking a widowed woman's choice away of being able to have a second chance at marriage and the same as society expecting widows to stay unwed once they lose their husband. Dependency and in-dependency doesn't even come into question here... it is rights and freedom to make a choice.

Kabir was a single guy.... what was wrong with him marrying his best friend's wife and taking responsibility of their son too? Even in western countries there are plenty of single women both unwed mothers and widowed who go on to have relationships or remarry a man, so why is a widowed indian woman like kavya remarrying called a weak character, regressive and an illogical plot?

dear the answer is simple. Because they are shrenu zain shipper. The problem was not with widow marriage but the widow marrying kabir who they wanted to see badly with shrenu.They never wanted KAVYA kabir, show saey uta Kaey faenk diya KAVYA ko.