Widow remarriage.... a sign of dependency or a right????????????

I had to make this post as this has become a strong issue on this forum where I have seen many members saying that kavya shouldn't have remarried to her husband's best friend and should have stayed single to prove she can be strong and independent and that this is a weak and illogical plot. Here is why I find this thinking so wrong. Please do think about the following points.

Why is marriage for kavya a bad solution? First of all Kavya married her late husband's best friend to honour his dying wish. So she was honouring his wish, which was one of the reasons.

My second and important point is remarrying doesn't make her a weak person if she decides she wants to remarry for her child's security or for herself. Plenty of men remarry in order to move on in life or to give their child a mother, so why would a woman be weak if she remarried in order to get support for herself and her child or simply because she wants to move on?

We never call men in the same situation weak if it is a man who is widowed with a child and decides he wants to remarry for the sake of his child or move on, which happens all the time. Does a woman have to remain alone and her child to remain fatherless just for the sake of proving she is strong etc? In a practical and progressing world where widows are now allowed to move on in life, why should a female character in shows be expected to remain single and not want to give her child a father figure just for the sake of showing an independent woman as people on this forum are suggesting. Doesn't that just propagate the idea that widows can't remarry and should stay single? Doesn't that take away a widow's right to choose to restart her life by judging her for remarrying. When widows now have the right to remarry unlike before, why can't they exercise that right if they want to instead of being judged as a weak and dependent person? Like I said, I don't see the same judgement for men in this situation.

That makes for my third point. Shouldn't a woman's wishes and choices be respected and she be given the right to make choices for herself without being judged whether that be having the right to remarry after her husband's death or to stay single and not be forced to remarry if she doesn't want to? Kavya made the choice that she wants to remarry both for her husband's dying wish and for her son, so she gets that right, the problem is that indian society still seems to stop widowed women from moving on and expect them to live in the past, which is wrong as this snatches the freedom to make a choice for themselves and instead forcing women to conform to society's views on how a woman should live.

People are saying kavya marrying her dead husband's friend is illogical, a weak plot and that she should have stayed single to make her strong and independent. I simply don't understand the need for this. It isn't a weak plot at all. A weak plot would be something incredibly unrealistic that doesn't make sense, which this isn't as many widowed women and men with or without children remarry in real life in order to move on. I'm sorry but I simply don't get why people are having issue to the idea of a widowed woman with a young child marrying again and instead suggesting that she should have stayed single and independent and that it would be more logical if she didn't remarry. I don't see how that's more logical when widow remarriage happens a lot now (thankfully). Logic isn't expecting a widowed woman to stay single and raise her child on her own if she wants to remarry, especially when she has been given a choice.

The point I am trying to make through this rather lengthy post is that by suggesting that a widowed woman like kavya with a now fatherless child should stay single and be independent is the same as taking a widowed woman's choice away of being able to have a second chance at marriage and the same as society expecting widows to stay unwed once they lose their husband. Dependency and in-dependency doesn't even come into question here... it is rights and freedom to make a choice.

Kabir was a single guy.... what was wrong with him marrying his best friend's wife and taking responsibility of their son too? Even in western countries there are plenty of single women both unwed mothers and widowed who go on to have relationships or remarry a man, so why is a widowed indian woman like kavya remarrying called a weak character, regressive and an illogical plot?

I had to make this post as this has become a strong issue on this forum where I have seen many members saying that kavya shouldn't have remarried to her husband's best friend and should have stayed single to prove she can be strong and independent and that this is a weak and illogical plot. Here is why I find this thinking so wrong. Please do think about the following points.

Why is marriage for kavya a bad solution? First of all Kavya married her late husband's best friend to honour his dying wish. So she was honouring his wish, which was one of the reasons.

My second and important point is remarrying doesn't make her a weak person if she decides she wants to remarry for her child's security or for herself. Plenty of men remarry in order to move on in life or to give their child a mother, so why would a woman be weak if she remarried in order to get support for herself and her child or simply because she wants to move on?

We never call men in the same situation weak if it is a man who is widowed with a child and decides he wants to remarry for the sake of his child or move on, which happens all the time. Does a woman have to remain alone and her child to remain fatherless just for the sake of proving she is strong etc? In a practical and progressing world where widows are now allowed to move on in life, why should a female character in shows be expected to remain single and not want to give her child a father figure just for the sake of showing an independent woman as people on this forum are suggesting. Doesn't that just propagate the idea that widows can't remarry and should stay single? Doesn't that take away a widow's right to choose to restart her life by judging her for remarrying. When widows now have the right to remarry unlike before, why can't they exercise that right if they want to instead of being judged as a weak and dependent person? Like I said, I don't see the same judgement for men in this situation.

That makes for my third point. Shouldn't a woman's wishes and choices be respected and she be given the right to make choices for herself without being judged whether that be having the right to remarry after her husband's death or to stay single

You are right I agree. This arguement would have been nice if Kavya would have been a working woman. The greatest strength of a woman lies in her economic independence. Untill and unless a woman is financially secured, she is weak. Kavya had to marry Kabeer to secure the future of his son. About Kabeer, yes I agree that his self sacrifice is too much, but we have to keep in mind that in his eyes Vyom was his life saviour. The gratitude that one feels for his life saviour can be so huge that he can sacrifice his life for him.

It depends on the context of the remarriage. If a widow is going to remarry because she wants to in order to start a new life then that's great. But if she is remarrying out of some compulsion from someone then that remarriage is not going to be empowering for her.

In Kavya's case, she didn't choose Kabir as a second life partner. She clearly did this marriage out of some compulsion from Vyom's last wish. Vyom didn't even consider Kavya's wishes, her need for time to get over his death, her choice to maybe remain single or even her choice to find a second love later on in life. He just assumed that Kavya won't be able to function after his death and immediately thrust her on to his friend. There is nothing commendable about such widow remarriages... these just feed into the stereotype that a woman has no life without a husband.

It would have been better if they had shown Kabir and Kavya falling in love and then marrying. Maybe the story would have made sense if Kabir happened to meet and fall in love with Kavya, a random widow with a son and she too started to love him and they married. But this whole marrying just to honour a friend/husband's last wish thing isn't right.

For a dying person the well being of his loved ones is the priority. I don't think that a dying man, especially one who is dying prematurely, will think so much about taking his wife's opinion and her future love and all. These types of plannings are only possible by people who know from a long period of time that they are going to die. So I am not seeing any fault of Vyom here. Coming to Kavya, as gross as it sounds, the fact is that beggars can't be choosers. Being a woman who was totally dependent on her husband, with no connection with her own family, she had no option but to marry Kabeer. Yes it is regressive, no doubt , but not illogical. Infact, it is the most logical in this context. But I agree that their love story would have been beautiful if they would have fell in love first and then married each other. But for that Kavya should have been a working woman.,because PK Mittal wouldn't have allowed her to stay in his house. No a woman can have a beautiful life outside marriage without husband, but for that she needs to be independent. A few choices only come to those who are resourceful. That is the harsh reality of life.

i get from their POV , Kavya having confidence to take care of kid and herself would have made her strong ..which not wrong but kabir was not some benevolent stranger who filled her maang in flimy style 😄(sorry i was imagined it ) . she knew kabir , her kid was attached to him , so this coupled with vyom wish it would have made sense .. security is not only financial but emotional also especially of kid ..

in ideal world people wd marry out of love but in here it seems like marriage out for mutual respect ..

but one thing not made clear how long before kabir arrival to mittal's house was marriage happened .. it looks as though they were married for little while before arrival.. it doesnt seems like vyom dies and next day they got married and arrived at mittals .. there was some time where both character would have had some time to contemplate their decision and repercussion of said decision

and from writing side this marriage is major plot point .. gives kabir -kavya track major gravitas and heft so makes perfect sense from plotwise

I guess we are forgetting that we are urban audiences and most of us don't have an idea of what ppl in BHARAT go through. we are happy in our INDIA.

Lets first remember that INDIA and BHARAT are two different entities.

Even today many people marry off the widows to a younger brother or something, to keep the widows within the family, and more importantly the child within the family.

We know that Vyom and Kavya's families were against their marriage. That itself shows that Vyom or Kavya's families would not accept Kavya and Aarush back, esp. not Kavya's family because she married against their wish.

Vyom knows that Kavya and Aarush are all alone. If it was only Kavya maybe he would have not taken that promise from Kabir, but his son is also involved here.

Vyom at the time of death, did not think much. Maybe his method was wrong, maybe he should have asked Kabir to look after his wife and son, instead of marriage. But lets be real. If Kabir would have got married later, say to Ishani, then he would have had his own family, and his wife, wouldn't have liked Kabir taking care of Kavya and Aarush.

To Vyom it looked like the best possible option, to secure his wife and son's future. Maybe it was selfish to not think of Kabir's and Kavya's wishes. But no one is in their right mind when they are about to die.

As for Kavya, she accepted it to honor Vyom's last wish. There is nothing more to that.

Our society still finds ways to ostracize widows.

This is one issue I have had with people on IF since my first show here (DBO). People are very quick to judge characters and call them regressive. Breathe for once, and take in a character's background.

People expect girls from the village who don't get an opportunity to study to become astro-physicists, thats difficult (happened in my previous show).

Let us think from the character's perspective, instead of forcing our ideas on characters.

Peace🤗

Originally posted by: SRKisLove

I guess we are forgetting that we are urban audiences and most of us don't have an idea of what ppl in BHARAT go through. we are happy in our INDIA.

Lets first remember that INDIA and BHARAT are too different entities.

Even today many people marry off the widows to a younger brother or something, to keep the widows within the family, and more importantly the child within the family.

We know that Vyom and Kavya's families were against their marriage. That itself shows that Vyom or Kavya's families would not accept Kavya and Aarush back, esp. not Kavya's family because she married against their wish.

Vyom knows that Kavya and Aarush are all alone. If it was only Kavya maybe he would have not taken that promise from Kabir, but his son is also involved here.

Vyom at the time of death, did not think much. Maybe his method was wrong, maybe he should have asked Kabir to look after his wife and son, instead of marriage. But lets be real. If Kabir would have got married later, say to Ishani, then he would have had his own family, and his wife, wouldn't have liked Kabir taking care of Kavya and Aarush.

To Vyom it looked like the best possible option, to secure his wife and son's future. Maybe it was selfish to not think of Kabir's and Kavya's wishes. But no one is in their right mind when they are about to die.

As for Kavya, she accepted it to honor Vyom's last wish. There is nothing more to that.

Our society still finds ways to ostracize widows.

This is one issue I have had with people on IF since my first show here (DBO). People are very quick to judge characters and call them regressive. Breathe for once, and take in a character's background.

People expect girls from the village who don't get an opportunity to study to become astro-physicists, thats difficult (happened in my previous show).

Let us think from the character's perspective, instead of forcing our ideas on characters.

Peace🤗

Exactly , how can a dying person think so much about wife's choice and all. Also for a mother her child's future is the priority. I don't find this illogical, it is the most logical thing. We should think from the pov of the character not ourselves. Btw, your example is hilarious😂, but it's true. All human beings are not same and neither are their capacities.

I agree with a lot of things in this the post but 'widow remarriage' is not the problem but Vyom literally shoved his decision on Kavya , this isn't a choice. And it would have been exactly same for a man who decides to remarry for himself/or his child but the decision should be his alone. It shouldnt be shoved upon anyone.

If it would have been shown that after Vyom's death , Kavya and Kabeer fell in love and they got remarried out of love , it would have been a choice. Or maybe Kavya himself decided to get married to Kabir because Arush wanted it , that too is acceptable. But both isn't the case.

Vyom decided that his wife should marry Kabir but why ? Its not his decision to make. Why should even Kabir marry Kavya ?

He left both of them with no choice to find love rather pushed them towards sacrifice.

I find this plot very weak , just bad writing. It could have been executed so much better. The show is portraying such an important issue but the execution is terrible.

It's a very good and important topic of discussion... Well I agree to some point n disagrees with some others...

1st - She did it to honour her dying husband's last wish which is definitely a good thing.. But my question is why did Vyom had such a last wish!!! Did he for once asked Kavya if she was okay with this marriage?? I guess not coz it wasn't shown.. Kabir and Kavya were friends too but there wasn't any romantic feelings involved.. So, here in this case I completely agree with @SStephy... Vyom just assumed Kavya needed a husband to look after her n her son.. He could have said - plz take care of my family, look after them.. But why "marry her" at the 1st place.. She could have enter the family as a friend, they could have developed mutual feelings n then get married..

2nd - You're right a woman has every right to choose a 2nd life partner for herself and for her kid's secure future.. There was a quote in the movie "Hey Baby" - A mother is the most important person in a baby's life but she needs a father too .. Hence marrying for the 2nd time after losing 1st life partner is not a sign of weakness infact it's the opposite... But it should happen with the woman's consent not because she had to honour her husband's dying wish especially when she never had any romantic feelings for the person she was asked to remarry..

But then again this is ITV n anything can happen here 😝🤐😶

Ppl complain of remarriage bec some wanted zain and shrenu pair possibility. Aur koi deep reason nahi hai. LOL

I dont think circumstances of marriage is revealed fully yet. Weren't they shooting for flashback scenes with vyom? Are they aired yet? I have watched some scenes only of the show. So if not shown how ppl assume vyom forced her and all that. In todays episode kavya made it clear she is ok with the marriage.