Difference between a daughter and daughter in law - Page 5

Originally posted by: paagalbandar

I agree that it discriminatory...but I will try to explain this to best of my ability loll...I am not an expert...This has been my observation when psychoevaluating people lol


Mother does not see her daughter as a competition however daughter in law is a competition. What do I mean by that??


- A mother raises her son all her life. To her, she has been center of her son's world all his life.Center of his attention. From birth until right before marriage.
- Now suddenly the son gets married. Though she maybe happy for him, she feels like she is being pushed into a corner. She is no longer the center of his world. She is not able to be vocal about it because she is happy seeing her son happy and she feels that if she was vocal about it, her son may distance himself from her as his priorities have changed. So this mother, now a mother in law, tries to find attention elsewhere. How?? by trying to control the object of her son's desire (ie the daughter in law). She does not wish be this way, but her insecurity and her sense of lack of importance in her son's life after his marriage, makes her behave this way...Its the feeling of losing self worth in her son's life.

How can you tackle this situation?
- get your hubbies to spend some time with your inlaws, especially mother in law at the end of the day daily. And don't come in picture during the mother and son alone time. It usually gets them the feeling of self worth again.

Same goes for father in law, and son in law...though father's can't be vocal about it, they do feel envious to the son in law's for making him the second important thing in his daughter's life. As until now, he was the most important thing in his daughter's life.

btw this is not just prevalent in India, its across the world 😆

I hope it makes sense what I said lol



ridz

Originally posted by: -allizwell-

Superb Laizu👏 very well said...

A mother is a very good person with her prospective DIL till she is prospective...but the moment she becomes DIL...the possessiveness envelopes the beautiful bond with insecurity. She unwillingly dislikes to share her son with his wife. She forgets ki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi or intentionally shows disparity as being a bahu she faced it from her saas.

I feel every mil should take a conscious decision of giving space to the couple and live their life too without much interference. That way the dils get more closer to mils..

Regarding disparity between daughter and dil...u have stated it so well...completely agree.

Originally posted by: worldequalsyou

Amazing Post 👏

You are Absolutely Right It proper existed back in the past no doubt in it, and to know that it still does somehow exists in some way in today's day of age that's shocking.

I also don't get why there is this discrimination between A daughter and A daughter-in-law?🤔

Originally posted by: canapoem

My MIL visited us a few years ago. My husband helps me in the kitchen many times. My MIL did not like this at all. She even told me that she never made her sons even lift a glass and put it in the sink and I am apparently making him work.

I so wanted to tell her that my husband is helping me in our household work and not in neighbors house.

But I have seen my sister-in-laws husband do so much household chores. And my MIL is very happy that her daughter gets so much help from her husband

It's just hypocrisy Manisha. Daughters have one rule and DILs have a different rule.

But I have seen people changing particularly my aunt's and uncles whose kids are marrying now have a broader outlook.

So I hope gradually this change will be more prominent

Originally posted by: -allizwell-

Ha ha...Kavita...i can totally relate to what u went through😆 r u a south indian...precisely tamil?😳sorry for my inquisitiveness...this not lifted a glass till now and my son doesnt even know to bite a finger if kept in mouth is all famous tamil mil's sayings😆...

My hubby was a mumma's boy and loved to help her around...its more so like he was one of the 4 kids and did everything to gain her attention from his childhood days...bachpan teek tha yaar...shaadi k baad it was like...my bahu will have no probs as my son is so good at handling even kitchen tasks...Ghanta...arrey mujhse bhi poochthe

😆...my patidev loves to laze around on weekends and i never bother him too but to take ridiculous assumptions just bcos he was so with my mil became bhaari for me......

Originally posted by: The_fairy_girly

Nice post ,! I wish Naina didn't face this type of treatment but going to the voice over she and vishakha share a good relationship..

Originally posted by: Ranbirrocks

Big Hugs to everyone who has faced this discrimination 🤗

It is such a bitter topic,we all have to face this. I have ranted enough IRL about this , so I won't start here again 😆

My promise to myself is that when I become MIL, I will make sure that I don't do anything to my DIL that I didn't like facing.

We can't change the world, we can cange ourselves and make it easy for our own DIL.

Originally posted by: angelic567

My mother in law visited us when i was pregnant... It ws during my first trimester... I had so much of vomiting and morning sickness issues..i couldn't even get up from my bed due to tiredness... My husband used to all the chores at that tym... He didn't have any problem with that... He happily did everything for me... So v kindof managed... Then my mom in law came... It ws during end of first trimester she came... I ws getting a little stable and my health ws slightly improving... She saw her son doing everything for his wife and wasn't happy at all... She wasn't even ready to understand my situation... She ws like i ws pretending to be this ill... It was such a bad situation... Thankfully my health got better after that i cud eat and go back to my normal routine.

Originally posted by: Ranbirrocks

Big Hugs to everyone who has faced this discrimination 🤗

It is such a bitter topic,we all have to face this. I have ranted enough IRL about this , so I won't start here again 😆

My promise to myself is that when I become MIL, I will make sure that I don't do anything to my DIL that I didn't like facing.

We can't change the world, we can cange ourselves and make it easy for our own DIL.