Aap ki raaton ko jagaane, aapki sapnon ko sajaane, main Sulu, tumhari Sulu...Vidya Balan, as usual fun and effervescent, spoke everything smashing stereotypes to building toilets at YFLO presents The Bold and the Beautiful Vidya Balan in conversation with designer Nil at Taj Bengal on November 17.
In the audience, t2 took notes...
SULU SPUNK
Sulu is a homemaker and a "Class XII fail, but she's very happy. She is domesticated yet she is spunky. To me, Sulu was successful to start out with. There's nothing like "just a housewife. We should not reduce the value of what we do. Success, therefore, should not be measured. I don't necessarily feel successful every time I get a big hit. Sometimes, achieving simple things gives you a sense of accomplishment. Sulu stands for a never-say-die attitude. In a world where everyone is obsessed about negativity, Sulu stands out for her positivity.
A WOMAN CAN BE HERSELF, YET POWERFUL
Amitabh Bachchan has put in almost 50 years in the industry, so I have another 40 years before that can happen! But it's not always a sexist comment as there is no parallel for Amitabh Bachchan. Unfortunately, we don't have a single actress who has been working for as long as him or has done the kind of work that he has. We do have patriarchal standards, but that is because success and power are seen as preserves of men. For some reason, we don't associate women with power. So when you see a woman who is powerful, it could be unnerving and intimidating. People don't know how to deal with that person and wonder if she has horns! Thankfully, more and more women are fighting to carve out their space in professions that were hitherto male bastions. People are also realising that a girl does not have to be a "boss-man to be powerful. She can be herself, yet powerful.
A SELF-MADE STORY
I am proud that I am a self-made woman. I don't begrudge people who have godfathers but I take all the credit and discredit for my own journey. I have never experienced nepotism in that way but it happens across the world. So I don't think it's a big deal. Let's not forget that these people have to deal with comparisons with their predecessors through most of their careers. So I don't think it's easy for anyone.
I LOVE MYSELF
It starts with Mujhe thoda thin dikhna hai'. Then it is more like, Jitna bhi thin ho, usse bhi zyada thin hona hai'. There's no end to this. I was someone who wanted to be thin. I was a fat child and I was a fat teenager. I put myself through crash diets, lost weight and then would put it back right on. I can't fight my body structure! I put on weight for The Dirty Picture and never lost it because I developed some health issues. People were being nasty. And I said, Enough is enough. I can't go through my life hating my body and my own sense of being'. As an actor, I am in a very privileged position where I enjoy love from a lot of people. But here I was, not loving myself. I am glad that I changed that. My weight does not matter to me. Everyday I stand in front of the mirror and say, I love and accept myself the way I am'. And though you start this as a daily experience, over time, you will actually begin to mean it.
LOVE AND MARRIAGE
I got married at a time when I felt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Siddharth (Roy Kapur) and he felt similarly... thankfully! (Laughs) One of the things I love the most about Sulu is that she hasn't lost her identity even after 12 years of marriage and a son. Women tend to think about other people before thinking of themselves and lose their identities. But Sulu does not, despite facing resistance. Her romance with her husband is intact. Films show us that everything is lost in domesticity. It's beautiful to see that marriage does not have to mean the end of all good things. At the same time, marriage does not ensure all good things in life.
#METOO
When we are talking about Hollywood, we assume there's more respect and gender-parity. Yet this is the reality of the situation there (the Harvey Weinstein scandal). It took them so long to come forth with this! That is why I feel that the #MeToo campaign (in which women used the #MeToo hashtag on social media if they had ever faced sexual harassment) was an amazing thing. With more and more people talking about it, what will happen is that the predators will at least be a little careful and may even stop. At least I am hoping for that.
THE DIRTY PICTURE TO SWACHH BHARAT
Cleanliness is something I am passionate about... therefore my support for building toilets. I had just done The Dirty Picture and Jairam Ramesh (the minister for drinking water and sanitation in the Manmohan Singh government) asked me to be a part of the Nirmal Bharat Abhiyan, which has become the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan now. It gives me great pride when I read statistics stating there has been a huge improvement in the area. We have a long way to go but I see the glass as half-full.
Anupamaa
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