Short Story: Amaanat

anut thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#1
Tring.Tring.Tring.The door bell rang insistently. She walked to the door unhurriedly and opened it with "I am not currently entertaining unwanted callers."
"So I see." answered the woman at the door. She looked the same except for a smattering of silver threads in the black of her hair. "But I don't think I qualify as an unwanted caller". "Of course you do, more than most." "I'm not here to argue about such irrelevant topics. Were it in my power, I would not step over the your threshold. I believe you have something of mine which I want back." "That's odd" the other woman retorted not quiet masking the hatred in her voice. "You have the unfortunate habit of laying claim to things which actually belong to me." "We could keep arguing about ownership till kingdom comes. But the time for all that is past. Where is my daughter, Ayesha?"

Ayesha's face lost its color. "What are you talking about?" "My daughter Ayesha. I spent nineteen years in the mental asylum with just one sane thought - My daughter, Milind's last remembrance. Where is she?" Ayesha remained mum. Prachi walked to her and a lifetime of bitterness poured out of her "You know why you are standing here, in this obvious comfort? You know why I am here, in this position, on the periphery? Because I promised my father, my dying father that I would give you all the happiness which you deserved and did not get. I would take care of you, give you the paternal affection you were deprived of.The sisterhood which you were entitled to. And I have paid, paid dearly for all that I gifted you. I paid for your revenge with my friendship with Neev,I paid for your hatred with my love for Milind, I paid for your freedom with nineteen years of incarceration. I paid, Ayesha, I paid for your crime by being accused of my husband's murder. But I don't want any repayments Ayesha. All I want is to take my daughter away from here. Away from you."

The door to the study had opened slightly and a girl who bore no little resemblence to Milind poked her head out of it with "Mom....Who's making all that noise....Who is she?" "Ritu....come out here for a minute.....I want you to meet someone............My sister.....Prachi Shah.." There were tears in Prachi's eyes as she looked at the younger girl. "Ritu....my daughter..." she walked towards the girl who looked taken aback. "Mom....What's she....????"
"She's telling the truth. I took you because she was in the mental asylum. I am not your mother." Ayesha's voice was hard now. "I raised you away from her.
And one more thing......I was responsible for the death of your father. My intention was to kill her, but I killed Milind by mistake. She went mad with grief and being the only eyewitness, wasn't able to testify against me." Ayesha continued impassively. "I took you away, got you here, tried to keep you away from her....But she seems to have a lot of contacts...Good networking I must say....How did you find out where I was?" "Neev" was Prachi solo reply.
"He visited me regularly with pictures, video recordings, albums, voice recordings of my daughter even if I couldn't understand them. He kept the doctor on my case, persuaded them not to give up on me. Talked to me. Listened to me."

The girl who had been listening to all this without saying a word suddenly burst out with a "You're not my real mother?" "No...I am not...." Ritu looked at her mother of eighteen years, and said softly, "Your word has been law for me for eighteen years mama. I have never disputed it once. I will not do so today. If you say this lady here is my mother, she is. But why didn't you tell me the truth? Why didn't you let me see her, visit her, talk to her? Why?"
"Why would I? You should be grateful, I looked after you, nourished you, educated you, gave you a roof over your head. And you stand here questioning me? How dare you?" Ayesha said, slapping Ritu hard.

Prachi almost raised her own hand on Ayesha. "You will not touch my daughter again....Ritu...Come with me....We're leaving right away...." Ritu kept staring at Ayesha as Prachi ushered her out of the house. Once outside, Ritu broke free from Prachi, came back and hugged Ayesha whispering something in her ear. And went back to Prachi with a "Yes mother....We shouldn't stay here any longer. Lets go."

Ayesha watched them both go till they became indistinguishable from the cloud of dust rising out in the distance. And sank on the floor and wept like she'd never wept in her life. A hand rested softly on her shoulder and a gentle voice asked her "Why Ayesha, Why didn't you tell her the truth? Why didn't you tell her that she gave birth to a stillborn and Ritu is your daughter with Milind? Why didn't you tell her that you've been paying for her treatment all this while? That I've been doing everything you asked me to do?" Neev's tears did not stop with his questions. "You heard her Neev. Her whole life she's been paying for other's mistakes. Her father's. Alaap's. Mine. I don't mind paying for one of hers. " "What did Ritu tell you?" "I go because you want me to go......Your heart knows and mine....You are my mom"

Edited by anut - 18 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

11

Views

1.1k

Users

9

Frequent Posters

Sunshine75 thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 18 years ago
#2
good short story! but whats stillborn?
anut thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: kimdeol

good short story! but whats stillborn?



Dead at the birth.
nirali_hina444 thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#4
that was an amazing short story, hopefully our real ayesha gains a heart eventually, and btw a stillborn is a baby who is born dead
sarah1024 thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 18 years ago
#5
Awww, that's a very touching short story! 👏
anut thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#6
Thanks .... I've always wanted to write a scene between Ayesha and Prachi where Prachi tells Ayesha that all this while Ayesha was not competing with Prachi, Prachi was competing with herself to let Ayesha win :)
Magno thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#7
Anut, it's so wonderful!! 👏 👏 👏

Though of course one certain part made me raised my eyebrow, but it's really good😃

And I still haven't forgotten your Praxi, Ayucksha, N'ai'eev, and Mullind 😆

Please do write more for us 😊 😊
KaneBC thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#8
Very interesting and intriguing. Quite a twist, a vengeful Prachi, a sacrificing Ayesha and a dead Milind. 😆 Really different and well done. 👏
swetha10 thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 18 years ago
#9
Very sweet and sensitive short story......But cant really believe Ayesha to b so wise........ 😊 😊 😊 Very well written........
Charmed... thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#10
I loved this short story. I would love to see this on screen. 😃

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".