Laughs -- Elderly Economics Professor

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Posted: 17 years ago
#1
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

An elderly economics professor is standing at the shallow end of the campus pool. A Coed is standing at the deep end taking pictures. She suddenly drops the camera into the pool. Then she motions for the professor to come to her. He goes and she asks him to retrieve the camera. He agrees and dives in and retrieve its.
Upon returning he says to her, "Why did you ask me to retrieve the camera when there were many younger and more athletic males closer to her?" She replied, "Professor you seem to forget that I'm in your Econ I class, and I don't know anyone who can go down deeper, stay down longer and come up drier than you."


When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation.

Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.

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Posted: 17 years ago
#2
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"

"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."
Manzz thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#3
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS

1. Economists are armed and dangerous:
"Watch out for our invisible hands."

2. Economists can supply it on demand.

3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.

4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.

5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.

6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.

7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".

8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.

9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.

10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.
Manzz thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#4
Laughs



Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.


The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

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Posted: 17 years ago
#5
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

True story: The scene is a conference of professors of marketing. The keynote speaker is an eminent economist. The chairman, who sees himself as a bit of a wag, says,
"I would like to introduce my eminent colleague and friend. He's an economist, one of those people who turn random numbers into mathematical laws."

The economist, not to be outdone, replies, "My friend, here, is a marketer. They reverse the process."

A Swedish contribution: "Economics is like red whine - you shouldn't smell it but drink it, but if you drink too much on one occasion, there is a risk for dizziness"
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Posted: 17 years ago
#6
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

One day a man walked into the main library of a major research university. He stopped at the reference desk and asked the librarian if she had any current books about economics and the economy.
She answered that she did, and led the man to the reference shelves where the economics and economy books were.

To the surprise of both the librarian and the man all of the books were off the shelf being used.

"That's OK," the man said. "I'll just go to another library. You see, I'm a very busy man, and I set this weekend aside for studying economics and the economy."

The librarian said she understood and gave the man directions to the nearest research library. But her interest piqued, she asked: "Why are you so urgent to study economics and the economy?"

The man replied: "I'm an economist. I've been teaching at this university for the past ten years. I'm attending a business meeting on Monday, and I figure the economy has changed in the past ten years."

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