I open my eyes on hearing a knock. I am amused to find myself over him completely. I am not able to think much, and I am really not ashamed of my position. I just want one thing-sleep, sleep and sleep!!! From the past one month and 8 days, I haven't got proper sleep. All thanks to my husband's family. I shift to my side, letting my husband get up and see who is on the door. He rubs his eyes and opens the door. I just want to see the person who disturbed my sleep. What an amazing family! In the day they don't let me breathe, at night their dreams haunt me and in early morning they don't let me sleep peacefully. I open my eyes and look at the door.
Its Mrs.Jha. I didn't expect her here. She looks quite happy. Ofcourse she would be, after all her family has cocooned her from all sorrows n started drinking my blood. Maybe she knitted a sweater for her baby or decorated the temple, you know its such a great news, that she needs to share her each n every small happiness with her brother. I can hear them speaking. She smiles at me, I shut my eyes pretending to not see her. My husband must have grit his teeth for my behavior, but I really don't care! She must be his delicate doll, not mine. Somewhere I feel guilty now, because she has not hurt me directly. It was her overprotective family. Why am I thinking about the past again? I should sleep.
"Give this to Khushiji" I open my eyes again, when she takes my name.
I am surprised when she placed prashad on my husband's hand. OK so she was here to give prashad. Every Tuesday HPji gives me a prashad but I never asked him where it comes from. I am really astonished. Isn't she angry with me?
"Take care Di" my husband tells her. She leaves the room. She tries to look at me, I shut my eyes again, feeling uneasy. I have to sleep, I remind myself.
I feel his hand on my waist. He is back to bed. I snuggle more into him. He hugs me.
Na tum meri zindagi mey aati aur na Shyam aisi harkat karta. Sabse badi baat, Di Khush thi. Mai tumse mila hi kyun? You are the biggest mistake of my life Khushi Kumari Gupta! (If you had not come in my life then Shyam would have never done such thing. And the main point is Di was happy. Why did I meet you? You are the biggest mistake of my life Khushi Kumari Gupta)
I pull apart from the hug. I feel like someone stabbed my heart. No matter what, I cannot forget those heart breaking words. I sit on the bed.
"Khushi what happened?" He can see my uneasiness.
"I think I need to get up. Its late"
"Its just 6"
I ignore him and rush to the washroom. I close the door roughly, and it makes a 'thud'. Why is my life sucked up?
*************
I am chopping the vegetables in the kitchen while Hari Prakashji is making the dough. I want to know about the prashad.
"HPji who gets the prashad every Tuesday?"
"Bhabhi, only Anjali Di goes to temple every Tuesday, after returning she tells me to give you the prashad. But today she didn't"
"That's because today she came to my room"I murmur.
I am really surprised. Here, Mrs.Jha smiles at me in the morning, she has been keeping the prashad for me since weeks. What does she want? She left me in a confusing state. Here her family didn't let a stone unturned to hurt me or make me feel no less than a "bad omen" and here she...I don't know. Am I mistaken? She isn't directly responsible for what happened with me. I shut my eyes and sigh . But that doesn't mean that I will forget everything. How can anyone expect me to like her when her family did so much with me for "her"?
I look at my phone when it started to ring. Its Naina. I pick her call.
"Yes Naina. I am coming in an hour"
************
I and Naina are in the coffee shop.
"Naina I can't tell you how lucky I am to have you beside me"
"Khushi, you are like my baby sister, and don't thank me please. You know how I felt that day when I saw you in such a state. I am glad that you are better now"
The rainy night, I am running on the wet roads, with a jet speed. My legs don't stop at all. Suddenly I see the flashlights of a vehicle , which stops at a distance of 5cm from me. I scream.
I hiss, while sipping the hot coffee.
"Careful Khushi." She says with concern. I nod my head.
"I was reminded of the past"
She keeps her hand over mine.
"Everything is fine Khushi. Try to move on. Ignore your husband's family"
I feel better whenever she is with me. We finish off the coffee. She holds my hand and walks towards the exit. I told her about my dream. She just consoles me. She opens the door of her car for me. I am about to sit but I pause seeing my husband get out of his car.
"Khushi come let's go" he says looking at me.
"Mr. Raizada, would you mind if I take your wife to my home, for a few hours?" Naina asks him. I wonder why she needs his permission, when I am ready to spend the day in her house.
I see my husband nearing her.
"Look after her well. A single scratch, and you have to face my wrath, Dr. Batra" he warns her.
"Don't worry Mr.Raizada, I am not you, to ignore my responsibilities. N keep your warning to yourself. If not for Khushi, then I really don't mind sending you and your family to jail for your good behavior with her." She taunts him.
I know they dislike each other. But he can't disagree that Naina is a good doctor n my condition has improved because of her. He gives her a long glare. He ignores her and comes to me.
"Take care. Keep this, you might need it." He gives me a few bucks and his credit card.
"Make sure that she stays happy" he tells Naina and leaves. Naina starts driving.
"No matter how much I hate him Khushi for hurting you, I can't deny that he loves you and cares for you." She chuckles.
"Hmm" I reply.
The worst night, in Gupta house! I am surrounded by Amma and Buaji. Bauji sees me from far. He wanted to come near me but these two ladies didn't let him. I am looking at these ladies, who are packing my bags. After all I am an "adopted" daughter. In fact, just an orphan.
"Amma, Buaji, listen to me" I plead.
"Finally you showed us your true colors. What was the necessity to tell the truth. Because of you our Payalia is suffering. We did SO much for you. We looked after you like our own daughter. But you ruined our Payalia's life. We don't want you anymore. Get lost" says Buaji.
"But what was my mistake?" I ask with the little energy I have.
"You ruined our Payal's life. Isn't that enough? Today you did prove us that you are not our blood' Says Amma.
"In fact its you all who showed me that I am not your blood" I say aloud n take my bag n leave the house.
They did hurt me.
I came back to RM. I know all are upset with me in RM, I can see that by their face. Naniji comes towards me.
"Khushi bitiya yesterday what happened was not good, so this time you take it as my request or order, I don't want you to appear before Anjali bitiya or join us for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I can't take risk her life again. We want Anjali bitiya's happiness."
I am shocked. She means I tried to kill her granddaughter and I snatched her happiness? Then Shyam was a sage? Just because I told her the truth, I became a thorn in her life? What kind of judgment was this?
" and in your presence I don't think that Anjali bitiya will be able to breathe" Mamiji adds fuel on my already burnt heart.
"Khushiji please don't disobey dadi this time" OK so Akash jijaji is also against me.
Right now I feel like a criminal being punished. I don't really know what is my crime.
"Say directly that you all don't want me to be a part of this family anymore. After all I m responsible for all the mess that happened here. I won't disobey you again Naniji" I say softly and set off to my room.
I am very much hurt with the family. Do I have anyone who is mine? Why do they think that I m responsible for whatever happened with Di?
My husband enters the room. He comes to me and hands a packet.
I look at him, confused.
"This is for you" I keep looking at him, without responding.
"Why aren't you taking? I bought It for you" he says.
"You tell me if I have to take it, bcoz its you n your family who decide my each and every movement" I say.
He goes pale. "Take it Khushi" he says softly. I take the groundnuts. I don't feeling like eating. I keep them on the bed. I gulp my throat.
"Khushi, whatever I said yesterday, I didn't .."
" You didn't mean it, I know. You said it out of anger. You were angry, n you took it on me. Right? Its not a new thing, I m used to it"
He goes pale again.
"I.."
"Its ok . its perfectly okay. Now even I believe that I m responsible for every bad thing that happened to your Di"
"You r not" he holds my arms.
"Everyone hates me" I am in a weak state.
"No, they don't" he cups my face.
" I almost killed her" I say, referring to Di's suicide attempt.
"Khushi you didn't" I see his eyes getting moist.
I push him away.
" I did!!! Because I am nothing but a mistake, a bad omen. I am that woman who broke your Di's happily married life. I am a mistake" I scream and collapse on the floor. I am on my knees.
He is on his knees. I see tears flowing through his eyes.
"Khushi you are not responsible for what happened. I didn't mean it"
"I am, I am.." I feel everything black. I don't know what's happening. I guess I am fainting.
"Khushi" I come back to present when I hear Naina. We have reached her house. Naina lives with her grandma. She is also an orphan like me. I feel happy whenver I am here. Naina is a rich psychiatrist by profession, but she is always simple and down to earth. This nature of hers makes me love her more.
"Khushi beta" dadi hugs me. I hug her back.
"After Khushi came you forgot me na"
Naina says with a pout. Dadi hugs her too. We giggle.
After a long time I am laughing. Dadi takes us in and serves lunch. We eat together. Its been ages since I ate with family.
I, dadi and Naina chatted a lot, we took selfies and had lots of fun. Naina's home is no less than heaven for me. I feel happy after a long time.
Our silly pillow fights, cake baking, watching cartoon was so much of fun. Dadi is no less than a kid when it comes to masti.
On a whole I enjoyed a lot today. I don't realize that its evening. I need to go home, in fact jail.
********
I see my husband already in the room. He is working. He smiles looking at me. I dont.
"How was your noon?" He asks me.
"I felt like I lived" I say. His smile vanishes after hearing me.
"I want to live Arnavji" I add, with a dejected face.
Thank you for the likes n comments
Katty
Edited by kattty - 8 years ago
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