Is there a difference?

We have two people, let's call them P and Q. Both claim to have an immense love for their respective child. Being the concerned parents they are, their child is always on their mind and the child's well being and happiness is what they claim to be wishing for.

P has always tried to ensure his child's happiness by giving guidance and advice. But P has a habit of laying it out as it is without bothering to soften the blow. Harsh but honest. If P's child does not follow his advice, he would be worried but he would still accept the child's decision. If the decision turns out to be wrong and the child gets hurt, P would feel the pain too. He would continue to give his opinion & guidance hoping that the child takes the right decision in future but still not expecting the child to accept/agree to everything P says. Because P understands that the child has the right to choose to live life on his/her own terms.

Q too wants happiness for her child but on her own terms. Q guides the child expecting him to follow it. If the child chooses not to follow her advice, she would keep trying to prove him wrong. Her "I told you so "would be never ending even if it ends up causing more pain for her child. She wants and demands absolute control on the child's life. She raised him despite hardships. She wants power over him in return. Nobody else should be as important as her in his life. He is hers and only hers. He has the right to make decisions but only those which are approved by her.

P would speak exactly what is on his mind without mincing words even if it makes him look bad in the child's eyes.Q would decorate and guise her thoughts just to ensure her child keeps her on a pedestal.Is there a difference?

P would never think of deceiving his child,no matter how painful the truth is. Q would never hesitate in deceiving and lying to her child even when it would hurt him.

P would hurt the child with the truth and Q would hurt the child with deceptions.Is there a difference?

P cannot forgive a person who hurt his child on numerous occasions because her pain hurts him too. Q cannot forgive a person who once made her child happy because that person became important for the child even when she didn't want it to happen.

P clings to past because it hurt his child, Q clings to past because she cannot accept loss of control over the child. Is there a difference?

P wants his child to be successful so that she could lead a better and a happy life. If she becomes more successful than the person who hurt her, then that's a side benefit that he would enjoy. Q wants to her child to be successful so that the child fulfils all those forced duties and responsibilities which she wants him to fulfil.

P would want to give wings to his child so she could fly, fly without limits. Q would want to cage the bird so he could fly only where she wants him to. Is there a difference?

P is protective and Q is possessive. Is there a difference?

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun

Let's call P as B and Q as I 🤣

😛😆

Don't ask me Rose you already know my response. The idea of even trying to draw a parallel between a psycho mother and a protective father is beyond me. Honestly if some momma's boy breaks the heart of my girl for his momma, I would have never let her marry that guy no matter how psyscho I come across as, because in the short/long run, the marriage would definitely fail which it did for Sona's case . Bijoy was wrong in giving in to Sona's insistence on marrying Dev despite having his redemption. 👎🏼

Redemption? Which redemption?😲How did I miss this redemption?

No comments on Q. If someone makes me understand the reasons of her dislikes towards Sona, I would try to decode her 🤣 Anyone ?

Sona was a better person and selflessly loved Dev? She wanted his genuine happiness? That's so evil PK.What's there to decode?😉

Before terming both as equal, we should first ask this question to ourselves - Why does Ishwari dislike Sona vs. Why does Bijoy dislike Dev ? I am sure we don't need to look far while trying to find reasons on the second one - the endless lies, hurting his daughter time and again, being insensitive towards his daughter's feelings, infertility track and disrespecting her family. But for the first question, I am still trying to find the reason. The day I would, I would try to put my head into such absurd comparison. 👎🏼

Absurd is right😆But I can tell you why Bijoy should like Dev- Dev saved Sona's life(accident) and married her even after knowing about infertility.End of discussion. He is not supposed to remember about all those other teeny tiny matters of insults and what not.

Originally posted by: rose4ever

Originally posted by: NeerajaGirish

I don't know why are we comparing Ishwari and Bijoy. There are two different persons. All said and done Ishwari is a possessive mother, she did not learn to let go, may be her hardships, being left alone, has a deep rooted insecurity of being abandoned by her son once he gets married,. Bijoy as a protective father is correct in his perspective and in real life too we only think about ourselves isn't. From the story point of view both Bijoy and Ishwari have their own flaws, degree of it may be different.

Many members say that he was hurt that Dev broke his daughters heart for his mother or rather he choose his mother over his lovely daughter, if hypothetically Saurab was in place of Dev and he chooses the girl over them would he be happy, no right. With all his apprehensions he accepted th get Dev and Sona marry, but before rushing into marriage why didn't he try to talk to Dev about his fears, he is educated and more aware...There were some more instances where he could have shown a more mature behaviour, like bringing police to his daughter's in laws place without any thought, which could have broken his daughters marriage.

He is proud of his daughters success, which he should be but along with that as parents we also need to teach our children that it is not necessary necessary that every one loves us, some may not like us. Sona's efforts in the beginning of her marriage was to forcibly make Ishwari like her, inspite of Dev repeatedly telling her, he likes her as she is and not to change. Everyone has their own flaws and nobody is perfect, and by writing about Bijoys faults I am not trying to justify Ishwari. As a concerned father he has every right to take steps to protect his daughter, and I like this serial inspite of few over dramatic episodes we can relate to all the characters. We will find Ishwari type mother in laws unite often who don't know when to let go and sadly in more that 75% cases, they are left alone unless the son is able to balance between his mother and wife or the daughter in law has enormous patience in her. Sorry for the long rant,

Originally posted by: rose4ever

We have two people, let's call them P and Q. Both claim
to have an immense love for their respective child. Being the concerned parents
they are, their child is always on their mind and the child's well being and
happiness is what they claim to be wishing for.

P has always tried to ensure his child's happiness by giving guidance and advice. But P has a habit of laying it out as it is without
bothering to soften the blow. Harsh but honest. If P's child does not follow
his advice, he would be worried but he would still accept the child's decision.
If the decision turns out to be wrong and the child gets hurt, P would feel the
pain too. He would continue to give his opinion & guidance hoping that the
child takes the right decision in future but still not expecting the child to
accept/agree to everything P says. Because P understands that the child has the
right to choose to live life on his/her own terms.

Q too wants happiness for her child but on her own terms.
Q guides the child expecting him to follow it. If the child chooses not to
follow her advice, she would keep trying to prove him wrong. Her "I told you so "would be never ending
even if it ends up causing more pain for her child. She wants and demands
absolute control on the child's life. She raised him despite hardships. She
wants power over him in return. Nobody else should be as important as her in
his life. He is hers and only hers. He has the right to make decisions but only
those which are approved by her.

P would speak exactly what is on his mind without mincing words even if it makes him look bad in the child's eyes.Q would decorate and guise her thoughts just to ensure her child keeps her on a pedestal.Is there a difference?

P would never think of deceiving his child,no matter how
painful the truth is. Q would never hesitate in deceiving and lying to her
child even when it would hurt him.

P would hurt the child with the truth and Q
would hurt the child with deceptions.Is there a difference?

P cannot forgive a person who hurt his child on numerous occasions
because her pain hurts him too. Q cannot
forgive a person who once made her child happy because that person became
important for the child even when she didn't want it to happen.

P
clings to past because it hurt his child, Q clings to past because she cannot
accept loss of control over the child. Is there a difference?

P wants his child to be successful so that she could lead
a better and a happy life. If she becomes more successful than the person who
hurt her, then that's a side benefit that he would enjoy. Q wants to her child
to be successful so that the child fulfils all those forced duties and
responsibilities which she wants him to fulfil. </b>

<b>P
would want to give wings to his child so she could fly, fly without limits. Q
would want to cage the bird so he could fly only where she wants him to. Is
there a difference?

<font color="#990066">P is protective and Q is possessive. Is there a difference?</font>