SOTW4: Telling parents about a BF/GF.

Hey Guys,😳

Carrying on from Hot Topic of the Week/Situation of the Week,

Here is the next situation ( For everyone's information, not relevant to any one in particular's life- Not based on any post from here- just what comes into my mind as a wide issue concerning lots-all names just exist for the purpose of this post!)

So the Situation is like this....

Girl: Jia

Boy: Raj

They both have fallen in love, been in love for many months but till date have kept their relationship a secret as their parents will not agree on their relationship. The girls parents forbid the girl from dating as they are muslims and it is not approved of and she has done according to her parents 2 things wrong. Firstly she has been seeing a guy...and secondly he is not a muslim.

Now here Jia does not care on religion...for her and her BF religion till now has not been a problem and if they were to marry they would not convert but celebrate as they have been til now their festivals.

The problem here though is that they are both mature adults, so it is not some crush and they are ready to be together 4 life having discussed marriage and their future and knowing what they want but having to tell their parents.

So far they have kept their relationship a secret, but now they want it in the open but do not know what to do.

Jia is scared that her parents will not listen to her, as once they get to know Raj, they know he is a great guy like from DDLJ😆 But she knows after hearing she is 1st dating they will not b even prepared to listen to her. She does not want to loose her family, but she doesnt want to be split from Raj either.

So what should Jia and Raj both do?

For now we will take it as Jia has the problem of telling her parents and leave Raj for another time😉

If her parents do not agree, should she go ahead and marry anyways as afterall she is a mature adult?
• Should she forget the love of her life?

So advice team, what advice whould you give to her?

Start advising the Jia/Raj's of this world😳

Love

Advice Corner Dev Team.😊

Moderator's Note: Watch out for Part 2 of this SOTW in the following weeks where it will be done from Raj's side and his family!!!

i thnk first jia shud tel her parent n if dey dint agree....dey shud keep deir love intact...dey shud not break up ne cost...seein dat dey really luv each other...by marryin each other dey wil show religion is nuthn but a rong spiritual issue in our mind....dat only bcoz of a 2 prsn cannot love or make frnds is a rong thng....dey wil set an exmple wich wil hlp 2 improve all dese fightin n all n make wrld a bttr place...so i blive dat dey shud marry at ne cost

well y cant he come and as for her hand...and if the question arrises as to where u saw her...then say smthng resonable...but not to get both jia and raj in trouble..

Nice views Tukz 😊 I agree with you 😊

and AFGprincess91 nice idea, but thats easier said than done asking for her hand as it wil go back to square one, which is the whole problem that the parents will not accept the relationship in the 1st place so it doesnt matter how they met etc but more to the point the parents reaction after they find out...and not accepting the relationship 😳

When u fall in love, u dnt look at religion..u ignore those aspect.. Personally i think that Jia should not go against her parents...franky will she be happy if her parents are againstit. She should definetly take the risk of telling her parents and i believe the boy should be with her when she is telling her parents. There is a chance her parents may agree, however if they disagree they Jia should not go against her parents.

True she will never forget Raj, but will she be happy if she goes against them How can she foresake her parents who have grown her up, made soo many sacrifice for a boy that she knows for like only a few years. She will never forget her love and maybe she won't be able to move on that easily but having her parents by her side is much more important.

Am not being biased or racial on religion, personally i have nothing against mixed marriage, on the contrary it merges the religion and theres less fight. But here its not only abt religion, its a fight between her parents and her love. My advice to her is to take the risk and tell her parents. If they agree all go well, however if they disagree then she shuld never go against her parents.

@ Tukz_remix: u do have a good point but if she goes against her parents, won't she lose her parents. At the end of the day, u should ask was it worth it. She lost her parents. In any choice she make she will lose something, and here nobody can give her an adivice because the choice shuld be hers, her parents or her love of her life..

---Israa

Wow Israa awesome points raised 👏 👏

That is very true about is it worth it 😊.

Am simply adding to debate here, not my personal views, just making more to be discussed on that would her parents not want her happiness either,

It is fine saying they have raised her all her life, but parents should be there4 kids no matter what?? So for your childrens happiness would you not give them your blessing 😊

Jia could choose raj, in her naivity thinking if she shows her parents ow happy they are they would come round to it, but yes at the end of the day it is Jia and Raj together as a couple having to make the decision.

But i believe it is mportant for both to support each other if it is what they both want and face folks together, and decisions should be made equally/mutually.

Not fair on raj if jia makes decision alone and vice versa.

Same with parents here, - if Jia is a mature adult she has full right to make her decisions in life now as Yes until a point her parents made that for her but as soon as one grows up they have right to make a decision based upon their own life. 😊

Also the parents could loose a daughter if they dont accept the relationship and jia does go with raj, n so is that worth it?

^^ Yeah true as well...Because its Jia that has to spend her life with Raj and she has the right to be happy. As u said Raj is a good boy, therefore i don't think there should be any kind of reason for her parents to disagree to this except for religion but if both of the boy and girl keeps their religion and stay happy, then there shouldn't be any problem.

Jia is an adult, she has the full right to take her decision and her parents wnt be able to impose their decision on her, so in any case if her parents disagree and jia chooses raj then the lose will be on both parties that is her parents will lose their daughter as well.

Both the boy, girl and her parents should take a decision. Jia can't be the only taking the decision. As u said, the decision should be taken equally..

--Israa

Originally posted by: amrit23

to b in such a situation is really difficult 😳

i'll advice jia to try n convince her parents..after all, if they really love her, they wont forcibaly marry her somewhere else n will accept raj sooner or later depending on how good jia can convince them

we shuld not marry some1 we can live with, we shuld marry some1 we cant live w/o..so if raj is the person for jia, toh go ahead

jia k parents maan jayenge 😳 raj shuld also try n help jia in this..she cant do it all alone

Yeah i like your views that they cant ofrce her to marry elsewhere and that quote is sweet i remember writing it in a post in L and F section😳

Yeah i agree as well raj should be there no matter what, as they are a couple and if they show how strong they are they are more likely to get attention for parents in showing how serious they are😳

Originally posted by: SweetAngel18

^^ Yeah true as well...Because its Jia that has to spend her life with Raj and she has the right to be happy. As u said Raj is a good boy, therefore i don't think there should be any kind of reason for her parents to disagree to this except for religion but if both of the boy and girl keeps their religion and stay happy, then there shouldn't be any problem.

Jia is an adult, she has the full right to take her decision and her parents wnt be able to impose their decision on her, so in any case if her parents disagree and jia chooses raj then the lose will be on both parties that is her parents will lose their daughter as well.

Both the boy, girl and her parents should take a decision. Jia can't be the only taking the decision. As u said, the decision should be taken equally..

--Israa

Thanks for that 😳 well said 👏