Chapter 18
Arnav took a long sip of his coffee and emptied the cup.
" the delegates will be here by evening? Okay fix the meeting for five." Arnav disconnected the call and picked the napkin to wipe his mouth.
" Khushi, my dinner will be out so you and Sia don't wait." Khushi nodded and continued to feed Sia with curd and parantha.
Arnav stood up to leave when his cellphone vibrated. It was a reminder message. He shook his head, this thing had totally slipped out of his mind.
" Khushi today I have taken an appointment for Sia. Her vaccination is due." Thankfully while shifting Khushi and Sia's things, aman had brought Sia's medical file too. On the basis of which Arnav had set the reminders.
" so be ready by four, I'll pick you both."
" but just now you scheduled a meeting for the evening."
" I know, but this is more important. I'll push my meeting forward." Arnav glanced and smiled at Sia. " bye Sia." Sia just stared back at Arnav. Khushi waved her hand at Arnav and whispered to Sia. " pa, is going to office..say bye."
Sia who was sitting in Khushi's lap, frowned more and lifted her hips and arms to reach out to Arnav. If he was leaving then why wasn't he taking her along? Arnav bent down and caressed her chubby cheeks. " shona, I'll be back soon..till then you play with ma..ah I mean maasi ." He kissed her hands and waved again. This time Sia too reluctantly waved back.
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Outside the doctor's cabin, Arnav stood leaning against the wall and watched Khushi fidget in her seat while Sia drank water from her bottle..she was cool and relaxed but her mother wasn't and it didn't surprise him. Khushi always dreaded hospitals and that was why he insisted on coming along.
Arnav's eyes moved to the name plate on the doctor's cabin door.
Dr. Payal Mehta.
She was his lawyer, Aakash Mehta's wife..Khushi's friend and his college mate. There were so many ways in which she was connected to Arnav, but she simply hated the sight of him. And rightly so, after breaking Khushi's heart, he didn't expect her friend to be nice to him.
On coming back to India, Arnav had hired Aakash, a renowned lawyer as his legal consultant. At that point of time he was unaware that he was the same Aakash who had married Payal and whose alliance he had ridiculed. Six years back when Khushi had told him about them he had been absolutely sure that both of them had made a huge mistake and that they would definitely regret later. However time showed who was wrong and who had made a mistake.
Today, Aakash was handling Arnav's divorce case and Payal, a reputed pediatrician would be treating Khushi's daughter. Both Aakash and Payal were successful, happy and together. Arnav still remembered when Aakash had invited him over dinner at his house, he was shocked to see Payal as Aakash's wife. But she wasn't, surely her husband had told her about him. She was prepared, prepared to give him a cold welcome.
" how's khushi?" he had asked .
" khushi, who you left , right?" she'd taunted him but not told him anything about her. He didn't deserve to know about her. Things between them remained purely professional. She disliked him and he never attempted to change that.
And today he happened to stand at her door because she was not only Khushi's close friend but also a well qualified doctor, who's services Sia needed.
The last patient left the cabin and now it was their turn. Khushi took a deep breath and pressed her lips closely before stepping in with Sia.
Payal's face lit up at the sight of her friend. She was meeting Khushi after four long years. Khushi had stopped keeping in touch with Payal after she had completed her graduation. Even Payal had gotten busy with her medical studies and marriage, so slowly the two friends drifted away. But now Khushi was standing before Payal and she was finding it tough to contain her happiness.
" Khushi!" Payal squealed. Khushi was slightly taken aback by her reaction and then it struck her, that the doctor must have known her. After all this wouldn't be the first time that that she'd bringing Sia for her medical check ups. But like the whole world seemed to be a stranger to her even the doctor was.
Payal moved toward Khushi. But Arnav came from behind and stood next to Khushi and Sia.
Payal cringed and stopped herself. In her excitement she had forgotten that he'd be there with them. She shot him an ice cold look before her eyes went to Sia. What a cute little child, Khushi had. She glanced at Khushi who gave her a weak smile. Arnav had briefed her about Khushi's accident , her medical condition and shyam. It had stunned her and she couldn't believe that Khushi had married shyam, who was no more and she was suffering from amnesia. But now when Khushi didn't recognize her, it pricked her heart. She so badly wished to wrap her arms around Khushi and hug but she couldn't. Because if she did, she'd have to tell Khushi that she was her old friend and then Khushi would be eager to know about her past...a past that was not so beautiful, thanks to the person standing next to her. Khushi would unduly stress herself to remember all that had happened with her and on not remembering it would affect her brain.
This Arnav had woven a web of lies around Khushi, ( maybe for her betterment) in which Khushi was badly stuck and people around her had to keep up with those lies. Today he might be taking care of Khushi and her daughter but his kindness couldn't change what he had done to her in the past.
Payal looked away from Arnav and composed herself.
" where are the reports?"
" I've mailed you."
Payal didn't bother to peer up at Arnav before checking her mailbox. She scribbled something on the paper and showed it to her nurse.
" get this injection ready."
Khushi gave Arnav a wary look. " this would hurt Sia..I can't see her in tears." Arnav knew this was coming, before Sia, Khushi would breakdown. But the vaccination couldn't be ignored.
Arnav took out a lollipop from his pocket and showed it to Sia who at once started bouncing in Khushi's arms and tried to grab it from Arnav's hand.
Arnav smiled and gave the candy to Sia before taking her from Khushi. He planted a kiss on her cheek. " Sia is a brave girl. She won't cry."
The nurse came with the injection and Khushi panicked.
" can't this medicine be given orally? I mean can't we avoid syringes?" She almost pleaded Payal, who reached out and pressed her shoulder. " I'm sorry Khushi, this can't be given orally. But trust me, I will be careful." Mothers usually reacted like this, this wasn't new for Payal.
Khushi felt embarrassed. " I'm sure you will...But." She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment then slowly opened and saw Payal approaching with the syringe. Payal lifted Sia's frock to inject her and Khushi immediately grabbed Arnav's arm and pressed it, unknowingly digging her nails into his flesh.
Payal pursed her lips on seeing Khushi hold his arm so firmly.
" don't worry Khushi, I won't hurt her." Arnav looked down to follow Payal's unwavering gaze. She was staring at Khushi's hands that were wrapped around his arm.
"Khushi, have you seen my cellphone?" Arnav asked. Khushi gave him a confused look, and shook her head. She had no idea where it was, he always kept it with him.
" I think I left it in the car, can you get it for me? I'm expecting an important call."
She peered down at Sia who was happily sucking the candy and then she glanced at Payal, ready with the syringe.
She swallowed hard. " But Sia.."
" She's fine." Arnav assured her. Khushi slowly nodded her head before leaving the cabin.
Payal looked at Arnav before suggesting. " the nurse can hold Sia."
Arnav rolled his eyes, now she didn't even like to see Sia in his arms. The nurse moved forward to take Sia but she at once fisted Arnav's shirt and let out a wail. The nurse immediately stepped back and Arnav shot Payal a cold look. He wasn't a monster who would eat up Sia.
" can you please get going, before Khushi returns?"
Payal clenched her jaws and moved to vaccinate Sia after asking the nurse to leave from there. She wished to have a word with her ex college mate.
" why are you doing all this?" Payal asked as she slowly depressed the syringe to force the air at the top of the syringe out.
" Khushi frets at the sight of hospitals so it's better if she's not around."
Payal peered up at him, was he kidding her by twisting her words?
" I mean why are you doing all this caring drama?" Payal wiped a small area of Sia's buttock with a sterile ball of cotton.
" Khushi needs me!" He knew Payal was extremely concerned about Khushi and couldn't bear to see him in Khushi's life, again... and she had every right to feel that way. But he wasn't pretending, he was actually worried for Khushi and her daughter. He wanted to take care of them.
As soon as the needle went inside, Sia twisted her face to cry.
" hey Sia, look there...so pretty flowers." Arnav pointed toward a painting hanging on the wall. Sia turned her neck to look at the beautiful painting.
Payal slowly pulled out the needle and wiped the spot she had injected with cotton then looked up at Arnav and gave out a bitter smile. " how nice but If I remember correctly, Khushi badly needed you, some years back..But you dumped her!"
Her words were like thorns, pricking his heart. She didn't need to remind him of his cruelty...day in day out, he was living with this unbearable guilt but unfortunately he couldn't do anything about it and that made the pain even more painful.
" look Payal, I can't undo the past, but you need to trust me."
Payal laughed. " trust you?"
Arnav parted his lips to speak further but before that, the door opened and Khushi came in.
" Arnav ji, I searched the whole car, but couldn't find your cellphone." Arnav patted his upper pocket area.
" sorry Khushi, I forgot I had kept it in my inside pocket."
" never mind." Khushi went close to Sia. " how's she?"
Payal smiled and replied. " it's done and she didn't even let out a whimper."
Khushi was surprised and relieved at the same time.
Payal softly pinched Sia's nose. " your daughter is a brave girl."
Khushi's mouth hung open and she gave Payal a blank look...her daughter?
" I know." Arnav immediately intervened and covered up for Payal, who bit her tongue. She had to be careful with her words.
Khushi took Sia from Arnav and asked Payal. " so, can we take your leave now?" She wanted to get out of the hospital as soon as possible.
Payal nodded. " sure. But don't panic if Sia, catches fever...it's normal."
" any medicine that we can give her to bring down the fever?"
Payal raised an eyebrow at Arnav's question. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut and stay away? Even his sensibility irked her.
She wrote down a syrup and handed the prescription to Khushi. " give her two spoons, if need be."
Khushi smiled. " thank you." She reached the door to step out when suddenly she looked over her shoulder. " it was nice meeting you." Payal's lips stretched in a smile as her eyes turned slightly moist.
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As Arnav, Khushi and Sia waited for the driver to get the car from the parking lot, a roadside potter caught Khushi's attention. A young boy was trying to make clay utensils by working on a wheel. Khushi narrowed her gaze as the boy failed miserably to give a proper shape to the wet clay in his hands. She called him out. " listen, come here." The boy surprised on being called, slowly walked up to her.
" while handling clay, keep your hands slightly loose. You're gripping it too tightly..that's why it's getting disfigured. Be patient and very gentle."
Now Arnav too turned around and looked at the boy who went back and started working again. Khushi's tip did the trick and he grinned broadly.
" well done." Arnav said and couldn't stop himself from remembering how during days Khushi used to excel at making sculptures.
Khushi who was glad that she could help the boy, all of a sudden frowned and glanced up at Arnav. " do I know all this?"
Arnav shrugged. " maybe yes."
Khushi slowly nodded..yeah , maybe.
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Payal sat back on her rocking chair and stared out of the open window. Her eyes didn't seem to focus on anything in particular as her mind was occupied with thoughts of Khushi.She didn't trust what Arnav had told her about Khushi's mental condition. So before returning home she had a word with Khushi's doctor. She wanted to know her exact mental state.
The doctor didn't have anything different or good to say. In fact Khushi's reports said it all. She seriously wished to tell Khushi about her past but unfortunately her past had never been a happy one. She was an orphan, her aunt mistreated her, Arnav had broken her heart and how she landed up with shyam even Payal wasn't aware of. All these things wouldn't make her life happy in fact they would only make it more stressful. And any kind of stress was dangerous for her.
Also, as far as Payal knew Khushi, she had never been a strong girl. She had always been extremely sensitive and emotionally weak. She had always been dependent on others. This memory loss, death of shyam and raising Sia..was all too much for her to handle alone. She needed support and care...and much to Payal's dislike, Arnav was doing just that.
Even though Khushi had forgotten Arnav but still today both Khushi and Sia appeared to be so comfortable around him. He didn't seem like a stranger to them on the contrary it looked as if they knew him well. Payal smirked at her thought. Both of them were too naive and innocent to see his real face. He had played with her feelings and shattered her heart, what if he did that again? Payal shuddered and closed her eyes.
With her eyes shut, Payal remembered the day she had met Khushi in college. It was after she and Aakash had gotten married.
Khushi with her head hung low and books clutched to her chest was walking down the corridor when she bumped into someone.
" Oh, I'm sorry." The words came out even before Khushi knew who she had collided with.
" hey Khushi, where have you been? Long time no see." Payal asked in excitement.
Khushi picked up her books and forced a smile. " just busy preparing for the exams, you say how's everything going?"
" life is going great. Though it's hectic managing both marriage and studies, but Aakash has been really supportive. I swear I couldn't have asked for more." The happiness in her voice and shine in her eyes, twisted Khushi's wounded heart. She was delighted for her friend but somewhere it pricked her...She always dreamt a life like that but like other dreams this one too had shattered and its pieces were piercing through her heart.
" that's nice." Khushi lowered her lashes to hide her wounds but it was too late. Payal had seen a wave of grief flowing in her eyes.
" what's wrong Khushi? you look upset."
Khushi pressed her lips firmly and shook her head.
" you're lying, there's definitely something that's eating you. Tell me."
Khushi pushed back the tears that were filling her eyes.
" it's nothing." She spoke past the knot formed inside her throat.
Payal couldn't leave her like this. She held her hand and said, " let's go to the canteen and talk." Khushi wished to protest but Payal didn't leave her hand and dragged her to the canteen.
Khushi's gaze fell on the table where Arnav had once helped her with her math assignment. The same place he had also assured her that he'd never let her fall and get hurt. His empty words now echoed in her ears.
" not here Payal, let's go somewhere else."
Payal at once nodded. " okay, then library?"
Khushi shook her head, no the place reminded her how he had shouted that they were just good friends. The embarrassment and the pain of his hurtful words didn't allow her to go to that library.
" lawn? There won't be anyone there, we can talk in peace."
Peace...where was peace in her life? Every small little thing reminded her of him. This whole college was filled with their memories. Even the lawn. It was the place where she had shared her painful past with him. And once again he had told her that he'd always be by her side.
" let's go to my classroom." Khushi decided for a place that didn't have his presence.
The classroom was empty and as Payal made herself comfortable she saw Khushi lost in her thoughts. She waited long for Khushi to speak up but Khushi remained silent.
Her gloomy face and tearful eyes were worrying Payal.
" what's the matter Khushi, did maami say something?" Khushi neither shook her head nor parted her lips to speak.
" something happened in college?"
Again Khushi's reaction was the same. She was still as a statue.
" Arnav, how's he? When is he coming back? Is everything fine between the two of you?"
" we're not together anymore." At last she broke her silence.
Payal drew her brows together. " what do you mean?" She didn't get what Khushi had just said.
" last week, he broke up with me." A tear rolled down her eyes.
" but why?" Payal couldn't believe Khushi's words. This was impossible. They both were so much in love with each other then how could Arnav do something like this?
" he left me for his career. A good work opportunity in New York, came his way and...he chose it over me."
Payal was now shocked. Arnav always cared and supported Khushi, he'd always be there for her...if Khushi had started to smile and live her life then that was because of him. Then today, how could he just leave her like that?
" didn't you stop him?"
Khushi licked her lips as her throat started to get dry, remembering that fateful night. " I tried to...but that night, I saw a different Arnav ji. He wasn't the one I knew and loved. He was some stranger, who I failed to recognize." Her lips quivered as fresh tears cascaded down her face. " my Arnav ji couldn't be selfish and heartless like him."
She looked up at Payal for reassurance who was still finding all this hard believe. " my Arnav ji, wouldn't even think of hurting me, forget breaking my heart. He loves me..yeah loves me." As if with her last words she was cajoling herself.
" but Payal, why today, he isn't with me?" Her distraught face and trembling voice coated with hurt and helplessness, agonized Payal. She couldn't see her friend like that. She went by her side and enveloped Khushi in her arms. Khushi could no longer, hold back the pain she was enduring and broke down in Payal's arms.
" Payal, why do people come into my life, only to leave? Why do they make a place for themselves in my heart when later they have to crush it? First maa and baba and now Arnav ji."
Tears burnt Payal's eyes, she cupped Khushi's face and replied. " don't cry over him. He's not worth it."
But Khushi couldn't stop her tears. " don't I deserve love? Am I that bad and unfortunate?"
" NO Khushi, you're the best..and trust me you'll get the best."
Till yesterday Payal really respected and admired Arnav. She couldn't forget that he had helped and supported her during the unfortunate molestation incident. How highly she had regarded him then...but she was wrong! He was like any other man, insensitive, cruel and self centered! He didn't deserve Khushi.
Payal felt a hand on her shoulder and she opened her eyes to see her husband smiling down at her.
" Divya, is waiting for her dear mom, to tell her bedtime story."
Payal nodded and stood up to go to their room.
" Aakash, how's Arnav's divorce proceedings going on?"
" it's kind of complicated...Lavanya isn't cooperating."
Though Aakash still found Arnav a genuine person, yeah he made mistakes in the past but Arnav deeply regretted those mistakes..he wasn't fair to Khushi and later life wasn't fair to him. He lost his child, and the way he did, was quite terrible.
Arnav chose his happiness over Khushi's love..Payal couldn't forget that. Khushi suffered because of his selfishness...she couldn't forget that too. So later in his life if he found someone like Lavanya then he totally deserved it. His marriage didn't work out, it didn't surprise her..After ruining Khushi's life he didn't deserve to be happy, he needed to suffer and he did suffer with Lavanya. Today he wanted to separate from Lavanya but she was giving him a hard time and knowing that Payal was only pleased. To value Khushi, he needed to suffer with Lavanya! The life partner that he chose for himself was perfect...Perfect to match his selfishness.
But when she thought about his child, the child he lost, it pained her. She was a parent herself, she knew what a child meant to a parent..just the thought of losing her daughter, killed her. And Arnav actually lost his unborn baby. To think that he deserved such a harsh punishment for breaking Khushi's heart would be cruel and insensitive on her part. The fact that he himself chose Lavanya as his wife, so his pain was less painful would again seem mean. It was hard to overlook that he didn't suffer, even if it was caused because of his own decisions that went wrong.
She couldn't decide what was more painful, a heartbreak or child loss. Both brought tears to the eyes...but still she felt that both weren't comparable. To believe that all the grief , pain and tears only came khushi's way and not his would be unfair .
Today Arnav had taken up Khushi and Sia's responsibility, he was looking after them, attempting to mend his mistakes. But could all this care, erase the past? Could it wipe off the helpless tears that Khushi had shed, for no fault of hers? Was forgiving him for his mistakes and forgetting Khushi's suffering that she endured because of him, so easy?
" Love is like two people holding a rubber band, we pull, then when one person lets go, it's the person who held on that gets hurt."
Thanks for reading
Rose
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