Posted:
Dear Dev & Sonakshi,
Today's letter is to both of you hoping if there is any unmarried, starry-eyed dreamer who thinks "Love conquers all", is going to enter into a relationship, can have their lesson before they go too deep.
For women, it's a double lesson because in India, you will be forced to leave with the people whom you might not even like whether you want to or not.
You see there's another show I watch called "Ek Rishta Sajhedari Ka". The family in that show is delightful. Granted it's not an inter-cultural love marriage. But the way they are always respectful to each other, it doesn't seem that they would be the type to insult the newly wedded bride every step of the way.
When a family is that supportive and lovely, by all means joint family is truly the way to go.
But when the family is as insulting as the Dixits, then asking your wife to put up with the insults, is asking too much.
First, let's talk to you Dev. What did I tell you about lie of omission? Recall that lesson? A lie is always a lie regardless of intention, because the person who was lied to NEVER thinks that the lier loves them so much that they lied for their own good. They MIGHT come around to your way of thinking eventually (or might not), but the broken trust, like a broken mirror is never healed completely. Even when you don't lie or don't hide anything, they will feel a twinge of suspicion.
If you think Sona's anger over you hiding veg-non veg issue was bad, it will be nothing compared to the other news that you have hidden.
You should have spoken the truth and waited for everyone to come in terms with it. But you were in a hurry to "seal the deal" so to speak. But you know what they say about hurried jobs? Yep, same goes for your marriage. On top of that, your lie of omission is cutting the foundation of your marriage like dull blade, slowly and painfully.
Sona, I had said many times that you should have waited for Dev to win you back. But you melted like butter when Ishwari opened her book of tricks. You didn't even think that this guy who was stalking you while Ritwik is around, sent his mother to win you back.
OR about your darling mother-in-law who once referred to your relationship as "Barsati Naala" is suddenly desperate to bring you back in Dev's life while he is no where around. But like Dev, you ignored million warning signs.
For a woman, a wedding is not just a day. It is a memory which she looks back and thinks about over and over.
But the discomfort I was feeling watching the episode, now you are realising when the rosy blinders have come off.
Yes, there are issues in inter-cultural marriages, but I have never been in one where the people openly insult the bride on the day of her wedding.
Today a few dialogues were very on point.
1. Dev to Sona: We never talked in our wedding. It seemed that it was everyone's wedding but ours. - That's correct, guys. You let other people forget that it was YOUR wedding and not anyone else's. So whatever you jointly wish, that's what needs to happen.
2. Sona to Dev: I had so many dreams of our wedding, but it was nothing like I imagined. - It would have been a dream wedding Sona, had you communicated clearly what to expect.
3. Sona to Dev: I thought we left our past behind. But did your mother ever accepted me or just agreed because of you? - She accepted you because of Dev. But you are a pretty smart woman. The hints were there if you had only looked.
4. Sona to Dev: Ever since I have arrived, your family is behaving as if somehow I plotted to belong to your family. - No, you didn't plot to be part of this family. No one would want to be part of this family without the carrot named Dev. But darling, you didn't think beyond the carrot. Now let's hope romance alone is as effective medicine to soothe your open wounds from the insults.
5. Dev to Ishwari: I know you don't eat outside. But you always make arrangement for food at home. Why didn't you do it this time? - Good question, Dev. I was wondering the same thing. Do tell, Ishwari.
6. Dev to Sona: My mother tolerated a lot of insults to bring you back in my life. She even tolerated the fish. - What a convenient memory, Dev. The insults started from your family. You know what they say about spitting in the air? The spit always lands on you. You and your family made a blunder by kicking Sona out and insulting her love and her family. So it's quite normal that to get the prize back, you will have to pay for it. Besides, the Bose family didn't come to your home and insulted your mother. She kept going to them to re-establish her Goddess status in your eyes and it seems she succeeded.
And most importantly, dear Dixit family (except Mamaji and the sisters), you have a daughter who is married. Here you are heaping blame on a girl for being the woman your son loved enough to do anything to get her without her knowledge. How would you feel, if Neha was going through what you are making Sona go through?
You insult a bride on her wedding day because she didn't wear what you gave her. You did agree on a Bengali wedding and you should have asked what Bengalis wear in their wedding before handing over what you think she should wear in her wedding. She should have told you when you handed her the lehenga but you should have communicated your expectations as well.
You insult the bride's father when he is talking about a very valid concern of a man who is handing over his darling daughter to another man. First of all, he was talking to Dev, not to you and Secondly, if Dev had said the same in Neha's wedding and her in-laws answered back the way you did, how would you feel? But then, Dev never had to worry about Neha's respect with Ranveer's family like Mr. Bose.
You insult a bride for a tray that she didn't prepare nor she brought on her own because she was busy getting married. Convenient scapegoat, is it?
You then proceed to insult her when she asked a very valid question to HER HUSBAND why did he hide the issue of the non-veg. She was talking to her husband, not to you. Yet you again had to nose in with an insult as if their son agreeing to her family's wishes without her knowledge is also somehow her fault. Again, very convenient scapegoat.
Dev, again, this would be the correct time to say that it was your decision. I am not quite sure now if you'd own up about your decision to hide the truth about Sona's condition. If I have to guess, even then the blame will be heaping on Sona for cheating your family by hiding the truth while it was your decision. Like you can't see your mother's fault, your mother can't see your fault either.
Then they say that ever since the newly wedded bride'e entered in her new home, everything has been inauspicious.
Dev, could you imagine someone saying this to Neha on the day she entered her home or you are de-sensitised to your wife's insult now that your mother is in pain for her own fault of not preparing a meal.
Ishwari, you wore the mask of "my son's happiness is my happiness" until you got your son his toy. But it is slipping now. I wonder if you will remember this refrain when you find out what your son has hidden
Precap: Another excellent insult this time delivered in front of invited guests.
I hope someone answers Dadi Bua that you need to have brains to run a household, not a pallu over your head.
Ishwari very conveniently remains silent with a lemon sucking expression on her face when Sona gets insulted. Yet when anyone says anything to Dev, including his own wife, she can speak with very powerful voice even after a dizzy spell...
Sona, you have willingly entered a golden cage. Now let's see the person who lead you in, if he would cut the bars for you or watch you flutter from outside.
Cricket
Pati Patni Aur Panga
