OS: I AM SO SORRY DEV

I AM SO SORRY DEV

"Devaansh slept already?" Dev was home earlier than his late night returns from his office, and sat at the dinner table. His family was not at home, and Sonakshi sat on the adjacent chair serving him, looking quite serious.

"Hmm..." was the only little answer she gave...

"Kya ho gaya? Anything serious?" Dev asked.

"Ansh's teacher called to tell that he is hitting kids at school. Don't know why. I had scolded him, and told him he won't have dinner until he finishes all his homework at once. But he went to sleep, before dinner. I couldn't wake him up after that." Sonakshi told him guiltily.

Dev loved Sonakshi deeply. He had taken in her small to big all her demand and wishes like her command. He did anything and everything in his power to keep her happy... Rare were the occasions when he would get really furious with her. This one was one such rare moment... When he began hearing her, he was smiling and curious to hear, but by the end of it his face gave away just one emotion, and he looked furious. He was about to start eating his dinner, when he stood up from the chair leaving the food untouched, and left the table. Sonakshi knew, to pursue him right now was like entering a lion's den. She kept standing there, and in a minute he was back, carrying a sleepy Devaansh in his arms. He made him sit on his lap, and began feeding him quickly from his plate, and he himself ate nothing. When the child was done, he made him drink some water, and carried him back to his bed, making sure he is asleep again...

When Dev came back to the hall, he saw Sonakshi still sitting at the table waiting for him. He was about to walk away, when she stopped him- "Dev! Please pehle khaana khaa leejiye..."

"Mujhe bhook nahi hai..." Dev was curt. He didn't want to shout at her, and the best way is to keep distance, and that is what he wanted to do right now...

Sonakshi came to his side, and took his hand in hers- "Please! Mere liye... Please khaana khaa leejiye." She dragged him back to the table, and served him food again. He kept on gulping a lump in his throat... His face was red; his eyes had sheen of unshed tears... But he spoke nothing. With every little morsel he took, he needed a gulp of water to push the food down his throat. He completed his bare minimum dinner, and got off the chair, and left. He did not wait for his wife to come along, he did not want any company for the moment.

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Sonakshi tiptoed into their dark room. Dev had switched all the lights and had gone to bed early. Today he did not even wait for her. He was furious with her, she knew. But, what should she do? Talking to him at this moment is highly risky, he may explode, but she can't let him go to sleep in such a bad mood. She got to bed, and switched on the side lamps. The lights flashed in Dev's eyes, as he scrunched them shut with the brightness. Sonakshi could tell, he did drop a few tears in her absence, and this is what she just couldn't see... She tilted to his side, and touched his arm- "Dev!"

"Just go to sleep Sonakshi. I don't want to talk to you at the moment. Please!" Dev snapped. He had his back to her side.

"But Dev, suniye toh!" Sonakshi tried to persuade him.

"I said, please!" Dev was curt.

"Dev!" Sonakshi began again.

Dev stood up from the bed and looked at her really annoyed- "Are you going to let me be alone tonight, or should I take my pillows and leave the room to have some solitude?"

Though there were no two doubts that Sonakshi was taken aback with the way he talked today; but she withdrew immediately. There was no use talking to him right now. She curled back to her side of the bed, and tucked herself under the double bed duvet that they shared... Dev removed the duvet from his side, pushing it all towards Sonakshi's side, and took another one from the cupboard and got into the bed, right on his corner, leaving a bundle of the thick duvet making a boundary between the two. Switching off the lamps, Dev and Sonakshi lost themselves in the darkness, both not talking to each other... Unknown if Sonakshi slept or not, Dev was awake till after mid night. In his own quiet thoughts. Dwelling in his own pain.

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When Sonakshi woke the next morning, Dev was already out for his morning jog. She had no idea how was his mood. But right now she needed to get back to her routine. She needed to wake her son, bathe and dress him, make him have his breakfast, and send him off to school. She will see to her son's father's mood later on, right now she was on a run of her routine.

Her son was his usual happy and jovial self; except for the time it is to wake him up. He was like his father there... Grumpy first thing in the morning. But then he was a party boy. Sona took him down for breakfast, but saw Dev going up to their room. Ishwari insisted on feeding Ansh, so Sonakshi thankfully left both the grandmother and grandson together, and rushed up the steps to their room before Dev gets another reason to ignore her.

She entered the room; Dev was standing at his walk-in-closet, selecting a shirt for himself. She wished him- "Good morning!"... There came no reply. He busied himself in selecting his shirt. Sonakshi also stepped in the walk in closet and selected a beige coloured shirt for him. He instead took a grey shirt and went to the bathroom. Sonakshi looked dumbstruck, and hung the shirt back she had selected for him.

She could hear her son's chatter; she needed to get down before he leaves for school. She packed his bags, lunch box, and stuffs. Tied his shoe laces properly so that the knot doesn't open mid way or he may fall down. Assuring everything was done, she was ready for her son's bus to arrive, and she would drop him.

Dev came down ready for his office, and sat for his breakfast. He saw his son, smacking his lips after completing his chocolate milk, and gave him a bright smile; one that Sonakshi had not seen since last night. Bhola Bhaiyya kept his sprouts and juice in front of Dev, when Dev pushed them away saying- "Bhola Bhaiyya, Parathe leke aaiye... Mujhe ye nahi khaana..."... Sonakshi looked surprised at him, he didn't do this... But today, he was just so angry with Sonakshi that he did not want her prescribed breakfast.

The house guard came and informed that Ansh Baba's bus has arrived, and Sonakshi stood from her chair to drop him till his bus, but, Dev got up and took her son's belongings, and left. Ansh jumped down his chair and went to his grandmother, squatted before her and touched her feet, and then came to his mother and did the same; something that he learnt it on his own seeing his father doing to his mother. A gesture that filled their hearts with love for this lovely boy.

Dev was back after dropping Ansh, and sat for his breakfast, Bhola Bhaiyya served him parathas... Ishwari asked- "Dev, beta tu Nootrishan wala khaana kyu nahi khaa raha beta? Aaj paraathe?"

"Haan maa, mann tha aaj ye khaane ka.." Dev said.

Sonakshi kept his glass of juice, that he quietly denied. Ishwari looked at both of them, and asked Dev- "Kuch hua kya tum dono ke beech?"

"Nahi maa, kuch nahi Thoda kaam hai..." Dev finished his breakfast, took Ishwari's blessing and left.

"Sonakshi, beta, dev ne ladaai ki tujhse?" Ishwari asked when her son left.

"Nahi maa... Bas kuch chup-chup se hain... Shayad Ansh ko leke pareshaan ho gaye hain... Mujhse koi ghalti ho gayi hai..." Sonakshi spoke guiltily.

Ishwari held Sonakshi's hand and spoke- "Beta, main ye toh nahi jaanti ki kya baat ho gayi hai... Par agar tujhse koi ghalti ho bhi gayi hai toh usko sudhaar lo. Maa-baap hum tab ban toh jaate hain jab humare Bachhe paida hote hain, par parvarish karna aate-aate aati hai... Koi pehle din se hi best thodi na ban jaata hai... Tu chinta mat kar... Raat mein baat karna Dev se... Wo bohot pyaar karta hai tujhse... Kabhi na kabhi toh teri baat zaroor sunega..." Ishwari assured her daughter in law... And Sonakshi smiled.

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"Dev, please! Mujhe aapse baat karni hai... Aap mujhse aise baat karna nahi chodh sakte... Aap hi toh kehte hain ki bhale hi ladd lo, lekin aise chup mat raho... Phir aap mere saath aisa kaise kar sakte hain?" Sonakshi had held Dev's hand when he was back into the room at night. And she was determined, not to let him go away before he talks.

Dev took his arm out of her grip and turned towards her and looked her in her eyes... His face was giving away the same sad solemn emotion that it was late at night... His eyes were filling up with tears... He blew out a heavy breath, before he spoke.

"How you handle our child, is absolutely your choice Sonakshi. I can hardly contribute in to bring Ansh up the way you do. You become strict with him, you scold him, you punish him, and you love him in your own special way. It's all your way of handling our kid. BUT!!! NEVER-EVER-EVER make my children sleep on a hungry stomach Sonakshi. I know how it is to sleep hungry, and have nothing to eat, and still try to sleep to get ready for another day. I have seen all those days, because, I had no father for me, who could look out for filling our empty stomachs each day. Whenever we got, we ate. Because our father was no more... BUT!!! Ansh ka baap abhi tak maraa nahi hai Sonakshi... Why do I work so hard day and night? To give you all at least the basic requirements. And how do I feel when after such hard work I find my child been deprived of that basic necessity of life? You tell me how? Punish and scold him as you wish, I do not support him being a bad boy. But don't take away his basic necessities Sonakshi... I can't take it." Dev had left the room for a change, tears were in his eyes...

Sonakshi stood rooted to the spot... She kept on swallowing the lump in her throat... Tears were flowing out of her eyes... What did she do? She made her son and husband, both suffer because of her. She hadn't meant to keep Ansh hungry all night, but he slept off, and Dev had come early. She not even in her wildest dreams could have contemplated this thought of hurting them this way, not she had thought what impact would it have left on Dev... She felt so-so- sorry... What a blunder did she do...

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Dev woke at the middle of the night. It was pitch dark in the room, but he knew by the silhouette on the bed, that Sonakshi wasn't there. She instead stood against the window, leaning on to the wall, and looking at nothing in particular. She wasn't sleeping. Dev got out of the bed, and politely asked her to get back to sleep... She didn't protest when he pulled her back in the bed. But he knew, her stiffness never got relaxed... But she lay quietly in their bed... He made sure she doesn't stay awake. But she did... Almost all night...

The next morning, Dev heard her son crying... He was been made to eat his breakfast... Dev shrugged it off; his Ansh was a fussy kid as far as eating was concerned. May be he was throwing another tantrum. He continued getting ready for breakfast... When he came down, he saw Ishwari giving worried glances. He looked at his mother, and asked in a hushed tone- "Kya hua maa?"

"Ye Sonakshi ko aaj pata nahi kya ho gaya hai... Ansh ko khilaaye jaa rahi hai, tiffin bhi itna saara pack kiya hai... Bachha kitna khaayega...? Kuch hua hai kya?" Ishwari asked Dev worried...

"Kuch nahi maa..." Dev replied, and got to Sonakshi... Bas, kaafi ho gaya Naashta Ansh ke liye... Chalo Ansh lets drop you to your bus stop." Dev helped Ansh jump off the chair, picking his bag and bottle, he ushered him towards the door telling him to be a good boy at school and no complaints should be coming... Two steps had Dev walked when he turned towards Sonakshi- "Tum nahi chalogi drop karne?"... Sonakshi wordlessly joined them...

They were returning after dropping their son off to his bus, Dev noticed Sonakshi's eyes all puffed up... She hadn't slept all night. He could make it out... She must have cried, the redness told him that too... She was eagerly trying to make up for her mistake, he knew. But she was beating herself miserably for that... He too had been too hard on her... It was a touche for him, but how would Sonakshi know the depth of it... She was just trying to be a normal strict mother, making her son learn a lesson. It was his issue, he could have politely explained her, this. Before he could begin any conversation with her, his phone began ringing. He needed to talk something very urgent on call...

By the time Dev came back to their room, he found Sonakshi holding her ears and squatting up and down apologising to him- "I am so so sorry Dev, I really had not thought it that way... I am sorry! I didn't mean to make Ansh sleep without eating, he slept off before I could make him eat, and then you came... I am sorry! I am such a bad mother.."

Dev held her immediately... "I am sorry Sona... Mujhe tumse itna ghussa nahi karna chahiye tha... I am sorry... And You are not a bad mother... Never say that... Ansh is a tough child, I know that... He is adamant, very frolic, over active; it's not easy handling him... If you weren't a good mother, he wouldn't have been listening to you and following your instructions... He does all you say, because he believes in your parenting him... Never consider yourself bad. My Sona can never be bad, she is the best... Best at everything she does. She is the best Nutritionist, the best daughter in law, the best daughter, best sister, my best friend, the best wife, and most among all the best mother for my child. Ansh is, because YOU are there for him."

Sonakshi finally had hugged him tight... "Not just me, it's WE who are with him... I keep on learning from my mistakes Dev and you DO contribute in making our child a better person... Don't restrict yourself from letting me know my mistakes. After all we make being parents together ... Isn't it?

Dev held on to his wife after two days. It's okay to be angry with each other. But to patch up on a healthy note is important too... And they were finally happy together now..

~~~~THANKS FOR READING~~~