Picture of You...

A few lines I penned on the spur of the moment for the man Dr Armaan , who seems to finding himself drowning in the agony of disappointment as he watches the colors of his favorite picture fade away in the storm of love...

Crystal blue of the summer sky
Azure of the ocean deep...
Lush of the mountain grass...
Silver of the distant moon
Crimson of the greeting sun...
With every hue...so pure ...
Paint a picture ...I did...
My dear ... of my love so true...
A perfect picture of a lovely you...

Gray of the brooding sky
Sullen hue of the winter night
Brown of the murky lands
Burnt hue of the desert sands
Purple of the viscious venom
Dark hues of a cruel nature
Is all I see....
As I stare at the picture...
.... afore me...

In tears of love shed ...
In the ashen smoke ...
Of simmering fury ...
…the colors fade .....
Leaving a grosteque hollow…
Hitherto... that was ..I imagined...
A lovely ... Picture of you!!!

-Sareeta

PS: Criticism Awaited...

picture perfect...lunch break, will get back!!

Brilliant Sareeta! 👏 👏 👏

I can see all of Armaan's expressions of disappointment,anger,hurt,disgust,sadness on being awakened to the bitter reality of his pure,pristine love that he so cherished...in the colors of ur poem!

Absolutely beautiful!

wowwwwwwww.. wonderful sareeta dii.. u potrayed a really gud picture in these verses... 👏 👏

Hey....thats a Smack Down!!! BINGO!!!
Sareeta...for yesterday's eppy...its the best we can get from u...U did it again.

👏

Superb...I can relate all the expressions through ur POEM!!!

First part of ur poem, is the PLAY SCENE(Love ,affection)

2nd PArt- is after the play where he gives a piece of his mind to Riddhi ( Frustration)

3rd Part ofcourse-Tum Itna gir sakti Ho.(DIsgust).
Tumney mera saath apni izzat ka bhi tamasha banadiya (Aggression) ...Kuch Daag Kabhi NAhin Mit Tey.(Hurt )...Yeh Rang waise bhi Kuch Khaas Nahin...(dissapointed)

Well yesterday's dialogues & armaan's expressions were commendable...wld leave an impression for days together...I'm gonna put yesterday's eppy in my Favourites.
😊

Ash.

was trying to pen something poetic...but as you know poetry is not my forte...

brilliantly done, and yes indeed, ridhima is fading, running colour rapidly and armaan is beginning to see that yeh rang itna khas nahin hai.

a small point, think you could replace the word dark in your second verse with something else? technical observation that with the variety of colours to choose from, we needn't repeaat ourselves. its perfectly ok if you wanna keep it that way, cos its still lovely!!!

Like begets like and so here goes…

A bright pink face,
A white glossy mouth,
Bright red lips,
Sparkling blue eyes,
Striped pajamas in gay shades,
The clown stepped out in the sun
Out to spread laughter, joy and mirth.

Beads of sweat trickling down,
Ran the pink in blotches…
The drip of the red lips like that of blood,
The blue in the eyes smudged beyond recognition
The white of the mouth besmirched by colours undefinable
I watched helplessly and cringed
At the sad, ugly face of my joy thus revealed.

HEy,...u guys r beatiful writers 👏
very nicely put...I cud feel how Armaan feels when I was reading thru it....it was emotional 👏

Originally posted by: vaarti

was trying to pen something poetic...but as you know poetry is not my forte...

brilliantly done, and yes indeed, ridhima is fading, running colour rapidly and armaan is beginning to see that yeh rang itna khas nahin hai.

a small point, think you could replace the word dark in your second verse with something else? technical observation that with the variety of colours to choose from, we needn't repeaat ourselves. its perfectly ok if you wanna keep it that way, cos its still lovely!!!

Aarti , it was the same point taht was troubling me, the use of the word dark as I dont like repeating words in verses twice... and I knew you'd catch that.. but I went ahead and posted giving myself time to ponder and come up witha word... and yeah lke I told you on phone.. I've changed it to sullen..

Yes and it is indeed strange that the line where he used "Yeh rang itna khaas nahin hai" somehow seemed to have a deeper impact for me now ... considering what I penned... wthout even thinking on those lines... Aaah... Now the lines seem too apt for him!!! 😉

Originally posted by: vaarti

picture perfect...lunch break, will get back!!

Aaah .... that is such a relief to see that coming from you! While writing it I was so lost in my world that when I actually posted it... I was hit instantly hit with anxiety pangs of how much sense I made and if you were gonna come with a belan to smack on any inappropriate references of the english language...

Aaah... am feeling so better now.... my heart rate is back to normal...and the sweat beads on my forehead seem to jus vanish slowly!😉