128
It was like her world had come crashing down, yet she was walking with a smile on her face. Tears fell from her eyes as the pain of leaving the one man she loved filled her up, but through those tears, a smile emerged... a smile because she knew that she had surrendered to her own destiny. If her destiny was to be with Randhir, then surely she would be with him with or without her own interference.
As she walked down the street, both her hands dragging suitcases, she thought about where she could go. She didn't have a place anymore... she didn't have anyone here.
"R - Randhir," she stammered, her teeth beginning to chatter as she walked across the street while the sun began to set. "S - Somya."
Those two names were both like poison and an antidote to her. She would miss her daughter as much as she missed Randhir. She wished she could see Somya once more... but she knew that it would only make it more difficult for all of them if she did it. Rather, it would be a much better idea for her to look like a villain, like a selfish woman who had her own selfish reasons for leaving them.
Perhaps it made her selfish that she didn't have the strength to fight for her own relationships.
All of a sudden, Sanyukta felt dizzy as she walked across the street. She let go of her suitcases for a brief moment and touched her head. Then before she knew it, she was struck by a vehicle, and lost consciousness immediately.
She could feel her breaths slowing as people gathered around her, and somehow she didn't have the courage or the willpower to fight anymore. For some reason, her heart seemed to be failing her, her lungs were giving up, and her thoughts were slowing.
Was this her destiny? Was she meant to leave Randhir in order to be embraced by death?
From far away, she heard someone call out "Mumma!" and it definitely was not Somya.
"Baby," she managed to whisper, before her body stopped moving completely and she had succumbed to the feeling of being transported elsewhere.
129
It was when Randhir got to Ishika's house to pick up Somya that he felt himself get uneasy. All of a sudden his heart began to beat faster and he broke out into a sweat. He didn't know what happened, just that nothing felt right.
He had cleaned himself up and forced himself to find Somya because he couldn't drag it for a long time... he had to muster the courage to face his daughter.
As soon as Ishika opened the door, Somya came running out and hugged Randhir.
"Daddy!" Somya screamed happily. "I missed you and mommy so much!"
"I - we missed you too," Randhir said, forcing himself to smile, while he felt like dying inside.
"How was the trip Randhir?" Ishika asked him.
"It was good," he told her. "I'll take Somya and go... I have a lot I need to do with her."
Then he handed a bag to Ishika which held some souvenirs that Sanyukta had picked out for her.
"We got these for you," he told her and Ishika took the bag.
"Oh, you didn't need to," she told him gratefully. "Thank you though."
"Thank you for taking care of Somya," Randhir told her appreciatively.
"Don't mention it," he told her and Somya dragged her bag outside.
"Why didn't mommy come?" she asked him with wide eyes and Randhir felt a lump in his throat.
"Come with me," he told Somya and then took her bags from her.
As soon as he started to drive her back, he took a deep breath and started speaking to her.
"How are you?" he asked her.
"Good," Somya said, looking at him suspiciously. "Where's mommy?"
"Somya... if someone's dying and there's a chance you could save them, even if it hurts you to do so, will you save them?" Randhir asked her softly.
"Yes," she replied without thinking.
"Your mommy needs to be saved... so she isn't here anymore," he told her.
"What?" Somya asked, shocked.
"She had to go somewhere far away. It may hurt us, but it is what was best for your mommy," Randhir told her softly.
Somya's eyes filled with tears and Randhir's car stopped at the scene of an accident.
"What's going on here?" Randhir muttered out loud, feeling his heart beat loudly... he felt very uneasy.
There was a crowd of people who were around someone on the ground. Randhir opened his door and took a step out before he started walking towards the figure that was laying unconscious.
130
Just before Randhir could get to the girl, an ambulance arrived and paramedics came out with a stretcher. Randhir turned around and went back to his car, deciding that it would be best to not cause a commotion. The doctor's knew what they had to do.
As soon as he got back inside the car, he saw that Somya was crying. It was expected of her to cry, but it didn't mean that his heart would be okay watching his daughter cry. He hated bringing tears to his daughter's eyes, but what could he do? He was helpless right now.
"Somya, I promise everything will be okay," he murmured as he started to drive home.
"I don't believe you," she said stubbornly. "I want to talk to mommy!"
"Somya," Randhir warned, "Remember, it's because we love mommy that we're going to let her go."
Somya started to hiccup and cry even harder.
"Sorry," he said to her.
She didn't reply to him... just closed her eyes and sobbed even more loudly.
That night, when he fell asleep, he reached over on the bed to hold her... but it was empty and cold beside him. As he opened his eyes, he remembered that she wasn't there anymore and he started to cry. Randhir didn't know when or how the night passed, but all he knew was that it was spent crying over her loss.
"I miss you Sanyukta," he whispered into the night, over and over again. "I am so sorry for hurting you."
He wanted to die. Living without her was hardly a life at all. He loved her, he pushed her away, and now that she went, the feeling was unbearable. It was like he was being suffocated.
Now, he knew that he deserved this feeling that might even be worse than death... he deserved all of this. He didn't even deserve to die right now... death would be an easy punishment for him.
A fate worse than death was what was needed, and that was what he was about to get.
131
"It's a miracle already that she survived, but we were definitely not expecting the baby to survive too," the doctor murmured to the girl next to her. "It's a real miracle."
Sanyukta stirred as her eyes opened and she was blinded by the lights of the hospital room.
"Thank you doctor," the girl said. "Sanyukta! Her eyes opened!"
Sanyukta squinted to make out the figure that was next to her and her eyes widened as she saw who it was.
"Vidhushi?" Sanyukta asked, completely shocked.
It had been years since she last saw Vidhushi. In fact, it was probably just after her marriage with Randhir, that they lost touch. Back in school though, they were best friends.
"It's weird that we're meeting like this," Vidhushi said lightly and Sanyukta nodded, completely agreeing. "I have so much to tell you though... you just relax. You need rest."
"What happened to me?" she asked.
"You got into an accident," the doctor said, "But you're completely fine... and your baby is too."
"Baby?" Sanyukta asked, shocked.
"Yes, you're pregnant! It is nothing short of a miracle that both of you are okay," the doctor said.
"P - pregnant?" Sanyukta whispered, and she reached over to touch her belly as a smile brightened up her features. "I'm pregnant."
Vidhushi smiled at Sanyukta.
"I'm so happy for you," she gushed. "I wanted to inform Randhir about your accident, but I don't have his number anymore."
Randhir. She couldn't even tell Randhir about her pregnancy anymore.
"Oh... no, don't worry about that," Sanyukta mumbled. "Doctor, how far along am I?"
"Four weeks," the doctor said with a smile. "Take care of yourself... you lost a lot of blood during the accident, so you need to eat healthy."
Sanyukta nodded and touched her head which was wrapped with a bandage.
"When can I go?" she asked the doctor.
"In a few hours. We'll observe you for a bit, and then we can get you discharged," she said.
"Thanks doctor," Sanyukta said gratefully.
"No problem. Take care," the doctor said, and then left the room.
"Sanyukta!" Vidhushi exclaimed happily. "You need to tell me about your life. How's Randhir?"
"We're not together anymore," she answered and Vidhushi looked up at her with shock.
"What?" she asked. "Is everything okay?"
Tears filled her eyes as she told Vidhushi the whole story about Parth and how Randhir didn't believe her... she told Vidhushi about how she tried, but their relationship had been beyond saving.
"Parth, that bloody bas***d," Vidhushi said through gritted teeth. "Just watch... we're going to get back at him."
"No it's okay," Sanyukta whispered, "At least Randhir should have trusted me."
"No it's not okay! Randhir needs to know what he did wrong too. Just wait and see what I do!" Vidhushi exclaimed, and then she ran out of the room, leaving Sanyukta stunned.
Vidhushi had always been impulsive like this, so Sanyukta just brushed it off. Instead she touched her belly and smiled.
"Hi baby," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. "It was you who saved me today. Thank you."
She remembered hearing the word mumma, and although it was her imagination, her subconscious had known and fought for her, even while she begged to die. It was her motherly instinct that saved her, and it was because she was a mother that she was going to survive.
132
"Somya open the door and come downstairs to eat!" Randhir yelled from outside her room.
She had locked herself up in her room and refused to come out. She hadn't even eaten anything from last night.
"No!" she screamed. "I won't come out. I won't eat!"
"Somya please open the door!" Randhir begged.
"I'll open it only when you bring back mommy!" she replied from inside.
"Somya! Daddy won't be happy with you if you don't open the door now!" Randhir shouted.
"I don't care! I hate you anyways!" she yelled. "I want mommy!"
Randhir felt a sharp stab in his chest when his six year old daughter expressed her hatred towards him.
"Do whatever you want then!" he yelled angrily, and then he bolted to his own room.
Once he got to his room, he punched his wall angrily. As his knuckles stung, tears emerged in his eyes too.
Sanyukta left him and Somya hated him. What more was there for him to do now? If he could let Somya get to Sanyukta, then perhaps the two of them could be happy, and he could be by himself... like he deserved.
133
"I've completed your discharge papers," Vidhushi told Sanyukta brightly. "Time to go!"
"Thank you Vidhushi," Sanyukta said gratefully and sat up on her bed.
Vidhushi had appeared again after she had disappeared this morning. Sanyukta hadn't asked where she went, because she didn't feel like she had any right to ask questions from her.
"Don't say thank you. You're coming with me," Vidhushi told her decisively.
"What? No I can't!" Sanyukta replied.
"What do you mean you can't? Aren't we friends? Plus, you have every right to come and live with me," Vidhushi told her seriously.
"B - but you must have your own family," Sanyukta replied nervously.
"Oh yes I do. I have a husband and loving in-laws... but trust me, it's your place in that house as much as mine," Vidhushi said. "Just come with me. No arguments will work."
"Okay," Sanyukta replied, looking down. "As soon as I'm a nuisance, I'll leave."
"Just shut up and come with me," Vidhushi said, and started to drag Sanyukta's suitcases out of the room.
After about an hour, they finally got to the house where Vidhushi lived.
"You live here?" Sanyukta gasped.
"Yes, why?" Vidhushi asked non-chalantly.
This was where Sanyukta's family lived. This had been Agarwal mansion at one point... she had grown up in this house.
"Nothing," Sanyukta said, brushing it off... her parent's must have sold off the house.
As soon as she entered the house, a whole bunch of memories came forth and she felt a nostalgic feeling her her heart. She missed her family. What she wouldn't do to see her mother and father again.
"Oh Ankit!" Vidhushi said excitedly. "Meet Sanyukta!"
Sanyukta's mouth fell open as she saw her older brother appear.
"Sanyukta?" Ankit asked, looking at his sister with wide eyes. "Where have you been you fool?"
"Vidhushi I need to go," Sanyukta said, gulping.
Her family hadn't sold off the house in any way... but Vidhushi had married into the house.
"No," Vidhushi refused. "This is your house. You're staying here."
"You know mom and dad forgave you as soon as you left? It was you who didn't come back," Ankit said angrily. "But Vidhushi's right. Now you're not going anywhere."
"Ankit... I can't," Sanyukta said, tears falling from her eyes. "I can't stay here."
"Sanyu?" she heard her mom say, and Sanyukta broke down in tears.
Vidhushi took a few steps back as her mom walked up to her with wide eyes, almost zombie-like, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing right now.
"M - ma?" Sanyukta whispered and nearly collapsed - she probably would have, if her mother hadn't engulfed her in a loving hug.
Sanyukta started to sob hysterically, as she hugged her mother back.
"I missed you ma," Sanyukta cried. "I missed you so much."
"We all missed you Sanyu," her mother said with a cracked voice.
Just then she heard strong footsteps, that unmistakably belonged to her father.
"Papa," Sanyukta cried, breaking the embrace from her mother and running to her father.
He hugged her tightly, and she felt herself break down again. She was always like Somya when she was younger, clinging on to her daddy, just like Somya clung to Randhir. If she didn't have her father, she wouldn't have been able to live as a child.
"I'm sorry," Sanyukta gasped as she broke the hug, wiping her tears. "I'm so sorry for hurting all of you."
"I'll go and make tea for everyone!" Vidhushi shot from the background, not wanting to interrupt their family moment.
"Wait... Vidhushi, you married Ankit?" Sanyukta asked, shocked. "How did this happen?"
"I fell in love with her," Ankit said, and she swore she saw a blush on her older brother's face.
Sanyukta started to laugh. Wow. It really was a small world.
134
Randhir needed to find Sanyukta and ask her to take Somya with her. He had no idea where she could have gone, but he needed to find her.
He tried to call her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. He tried again and again until someone picked up.
"Who do you think you are?" the female voice on the other end said.
"Who are you?" Randhir replied, completely taken aback.
"It's Vidhushi you dumb jerk!" she retorted.
"Vidhushi?" Randhir asked incredulously. "What are you doing with Sanyukta's phone?"
"Did you know that because of you Sanyukta had to go to the hospital?" Vidhushi screamed into the phone - she was so loud that his ear hurt.
"What?" Randhir asked with disbelief. "What are you saying? Where is Sanyukta right now?"
"She got hit by a car... and it's all your fault!" Vidhushi screamed. "If you didn't force her to leave, she would have been fine... why is it always girls who have to take the pain from a loved one?"
"Look Vidhushi, I have no idea what you're going on about. Give the phone to Sanyukta. I have to speak to her about something important," Randhir said, finding it hard to believe Vidhushi's words.
"Asshole," Vidhushi said into the phone, and Randhir winced.
"You have such a filthy mouth," Randhir commented.
"I may have a filthy mouth, but you have a filthy heart. Sanyukta's dead," Vidhushi said into the phone and then hung up.
"What?" Randhir screamed into the phone, but Vidhushi had already hung up.
Vidhushi had to be lying. There was no way... Sanyukta couldn't be dead. Randhir tried to dial the number again, but the phone had been switched off.
Then he called the nearest hospital and inquired about Sanyukta Shekhawat.
"Yes, there was a patient with that name admitted," the receptionist said.
Randhir could hear his heart beating loudly.
"How is she now?" Randhir asked.
"Sorry sir, we cannot give more information," the receptionist said. "I've already told you more than I'm allowed to."
"Look that lady is my wife!" Randhir screamed into the phone. "You have to tell me how she is... is she still there?"
"I should be asking you to come to the hospital and prove that you're her family member before giving you this piece of information, but since you are asking with such sincerity... I will tell you. She passed away. Sorry sir," the receptionist said before hanging up, and Randhir felt his whole body go numb.
On the other hand, Vidhushi who was at home, received a phone call from the hospital.
"As expected, he called," the receptionist said. "I've told him what you wanted me to say... now payment?"
"I'll give you the other half in the morning," Vidhushi said, "Thank you."
Vidhushi grinned. Now Randhir would suffer... now he would beg to have Sanyukta back, and only when he was at his most desperate point, she would allow them to meet.
"Vidhushi, I'm going out," Sanyukta said, as she came into the room after taking a shower. "Where's my phone?"
"Here," Vidhushi said, tossing her phone to her. "But I've put in a new sim card for you since you said you didn't want any more contact with Randhir."
Sanyukta looked down guiltily and nodded.
"Thank you," she muttered.
Sanyukta then left the house, wrapping her dupatta over her face before getting into a taxi.
"Shekhawat mansion please," she requested, her heart beating so loudly that she thought she would go deaf.
135
As soon as Sanyukta left, Vidhushi started phase two of her plan. She had Parth's number, because even until today, the only person she had ever truly loved had been Parth. She married Ankit because she didn't have anyone else after Parth left. Perhaps she was never a serious option for him, but he had once been her world.
Vidhushi turned on her phone's call recorder using an app and dialed Parth's Canada number after many years of receiving it. She was nervous, but she knew she had to do this for Sanyukta.
"Hello?" his voice on the other end said.
"P - Parth?" Vidhushi replied.
"Vidhushi?" he asked right away, and she sensed a sadness.
"Why did you do this to Sanyukta Parth?" Vidhushi asked him tearfully. "Her entire marriage is broken now."
"I care about her, that's why I did it," Parth told Vidhushi sincerely.
"You love her?" Vidhushi asked him.
"Yes," Parth replied. "I love her and I know that Randhir was only making her weak and vulnerable."
"How can you judge that?" Vidhushi asked him angrily. "Do you know that she has a child? She was so happy with Randhir."
"I know, but what about her? She had no stand for herself... he was making her so weak," Parth said.
"So you just pretend to sleep with her then send Randhir a picture, so you could cause misunderstandings?" Vidhushi asked angrily.
"Vidhushi... I told myself this. If Randhir and Sanyukta are meant to be together, then I'll leave them alone. This was my last try... if they manage to survive even this, then I wouldn't even try to separate them... but if their marriage broke because of my picture, why wasn't their love strong enough?" Parth asked her.
"Parth you're... you're useless," Vidhushi told him, her voice cracking. "I can't believe I loved a monster like you."
"You just be happy," Parth told her.
"No... you idiot," Vidhushi sobbed. "I still love you... it's hard, despite knowing that you broke my best friend's heart, I'm still loving you."
"I wish we never broke it off sometimes," he muttered.
Vidhushi took a deep breath and wiped her tears away.
"Have a good day Parth," she said and then hung up the phone.
The next part of her plan was to send the call to Randhir. As soon as she sent it to him, she dialed his number through her phone.
"H - hello?" he answered, and Vidhushi could hear that he had been crying.
"Listen to what I just sent you," she told him quickly, before hanging up the phone.
Then she buried her face in her hands and started to cry. She never thought that Parth would stoop so low, nor did she think that Randhir could ever leave Sanyukta.
Why was this world so cruel?
136
Randhir listened to the call that Vidhushi had just sent him. It was a conversation between the two of them. Vidhushi got Parth to confess that the picture was a lie, but his confession had no effect on him. Perhaps Vidhushi didn't know that he already knew Sanyukta was innocent. Vidhushi didn't need to prove anything to him.
Still, Randhir heard the call and broke down into more tears, because the severity of Parth's words hurt him. If a picture could separate the two of them, then truly how strong had their love been? If Randhir doubted her, how strongly could he have trusted her? If he forced her to leave him, how much could he have loved her?
"I'm sorry Sanyukta," he whispered, sniffling. "I'm so sorry."
She wasn't here with him. The hospital claimed she was dead, yet he was having a hard time believing it. Perhaps it was denial.
"Are you really gone?" he whispered out loud. "You can't be... you can't."
He felt like his lungs had turned into ice. Even breathing was painful. He wanted to die. He wanted to go so far away that he never had to return.
How could he live in a world without Sanyukta? At least if she was away from him, he would know that she was still around... but if she left, even hope to have her return was gone.
Life was short, and he spent his pushing her away.
He had only left her with painful memories. He hurt her, and she left the world... perhaps she had even been wishing to die at that moment, and her wish was granted. The only reason she would even wish for such a thing would be because of him.
It was his fault she wasn't here... it was his fault she was gone.
Randhir got up and staggered to Somya's room. The door was still locked. He could hear her breathing evenly inside... fast asleep.
How could he tell her that her mom was no more? She would never stop hating him.
He was so worried about her... she was already not eating, and now this news would just break her. Randhir went back to his room and collapsed against the wall, before he broke down again.
"I need you Sanyukta," he sobbed. "I need you in my life. Please come back to me."
Randhir then stood up and found a bottle of whiskey. He opened it and started to drink from the bottle.
"I deserve this," he said hoarsely through his tears. "I deserve to be tortured, but if you aren't here, it is more torture than I can bear. I can't take it anymore. Please come back to me."
137
Perhaps it was mother's instinct which told her that Somya was not okay. She could feel her daughter's sadness from miles away. Sanyukta knew that she probably wasn't eating, and she must be putting Randhir through a lot of torture because Sanyukta wasn't there anymore. And Randhir... he would deny it for eternity, but he was not okay either.
Sanyukta reached Shekhawat mansion just after midnight and pulled her dupatta more tightly around her face so that nobody could recognize her. Right now all the servants would be asleep and she still had the key to the house, so she was able to get in easily.
The first thing she did was go to the kitchen and quietly prepare a quick meal for Somya. After she was done, she sneaked upstairs to Somya's room. She noticed the door to her own room with Randhir was slightly ajar, but there was no sound coming from within. Perhaps Randhir was already sleeping.
Once she got to Somya's room, Sanyukta tried to open the door, but it was locked from inside. Sanyukta sighed. As expected, Somya probably locked herself in and refused to come out or eat.
Sanyukta knocked on the door softly.
"Somya sweetheart," Sanyukta called out.
"M - mommy?" she heard Somya's voice say from inside and then her soft footsteps approached the door before she unlocked it.
Sanyukta looked down at Somya who was in her pyjama's. Her eyes were swollen and she looked so weak.
"Somya, come inside," Sanyukta said as Somya looked up at her with disbelief.
She went back inside her room and Sanyukta entered as well, locking the door behind her. Turning on the light, Sanyukta sat down on the couch in Somya's room and put the plate of food on the table in front of it.
"Come here," she said, and Somya climbed onto Sanyukta's lap before resting her head against her mother's chest.
"Mommy why did you go?" Somya asked, sounding like she was about to break down into tears at any moment.
Sanyukta picked up the plate of food, and using her hands she started to feed Somya.
"I had to go somewhere for a reason sweetheart," Sanyukta told her softly. "I came here to tell you that you can't hurt your daddy. You have to eat on time, and you have to respect him."
"It's his fault you left," Somya said, and she started to cry with food in her mouth.
"Shhh sweetheart, don't cry," Sanyukta whispered and placed the plate down before wiping Somya's cheeks with her clean hand. "Everything that's happening right now is for a good reason. I want you to trust your father and I."
"What reason?" she asked.
"You won't understand it right now, but when you are older you will. For now, just trust us. Promise me, you'll be a good girl?" Sanyukta asked her daughter.
"I promise... but you can't go now," Somya told her mother.
Sanyukta smiled and picked up the plate of food again before feeding her again.
"I will go when we finish your food, because you have to sleep," Sanyukta told her softly. "Don't tell your father I came here. This is our little secret, okay?"
"Why not?" Somya asked curiously.
"Because I will come to see you again," Sanyukta replied quietly. "But you have to be a good girl. If you aren't good, I'll stop coming."
"No! I promise, I'll be good," she told Sanyukta, nodding her head and Sanyukta smiled.
"Good," she said happily. "I'm proud of you."
After Sanyukta finished feeding Somya and put Somya to sleep, she left the plate on the table and went inside her bathroom to wash her hands. Once she was done, she kissed Somya's forehead and left the room before closing the door gently behind her.
As she was about to head out, she paused outside her bedroom, and gulped, the temptation overpowering her. She peeked inside the ajar door, and saw that Randhir was against the wall, with a bottle of whiskey on the ground beside him, mumbling something with his eyes closed. His head was rolled over to the side and it was like he had no control over his body.
"Randhir," she whispered, her heart aching upon seeing his condition.
She felt tears well up in her eyes and she opened his door, stepping inside his room, deciding that she couldn't see him in this condition.
"I'm so sorry Randhir. I promised I wouldn't see you again," she whispered through her tears before she approached him, "But I have to break my promise."
Ishaani
