SS: The beginning (Part 2- Page 5) - Page 5

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loveleen3 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: imagine43



Ok, Trust me when I say, I;ve read this part more than 5 times, trying to find if I was missing something. I was waiting for Rachna or Sukhi to comment, but they didnt show up.

It was a good continuation to the first part. It was subtle and warm, their hesitation yet yearning portrayed marvelously. They being subconsciously attracted was perfect. My fav was they leaning into each other and Ragini struggling to turn off the alarm.
And ofcourse N's little fake act so he could directly ask her to come in his arms was beautiful and an awww moment.

Me being a very picturing reader, felt some disconnect at times like before the leaning part, I didnt know how they were standing, I was at N sitting on the bed and R standing..
Then when N is on R, how could R kiss him, (may be I need to watch more romantic scenes). But this could just be me, dont take it too seriously.

All that doesnt mean I am not desperately waiting to read the next part.. so

Ab,
Oye, agla part kab kidhar??



I knew something was missing. For me, the different scenes were ending abruptly. But something else too. Now since I had written it, and then read so many times, I couldn't figure it out. So, I posted. You said 'Nice' and disappeared. Everyone else concentrated on N and R. And neither Sukh nor Rachna showed up. How am I supposed to know if i should write the next part!?!?

Now I'm going to edit this one first. And you don't go anywhere. For the first time, I've received a 'feedback'. I'm working on it. :D
imagine43 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#42
Dont worry, it could just be me. Its ok to let this part be as is, and move on to the next.
imagine43 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#43
I dont know what you did, but the magic is back.. This time, I had butterflies in my stomach, when R was staring at N's lips wanting to close his mouth with a kiss..
Edited by imagine43 - 9 years ago
loveleen3 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: imagine43

I dont know what you did, but the magic is back.. This time, I had butterflies in my stomach, when R was staring at N's lips wanting to close his mouth with a kiss..



Hahahahaha... ROFL!! I have not done anything. I haven't edited yet. You are such a LIAR! 😆

I'll tell you when I've edited.. 😆
imagine43 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: loveleen3



Hahahahaha... ROFL!! I have not done anything. I haven't edited yet. You are such a LIAR! 😆

I'll tell you when I've edited.. 😆


I didnt lie.. This time when I read, I just overlooked(rushed through) all that had bothered me earlier.. Since I had already told you, I could do that I guess.

After reading it everyday, I could finally come to appreciate it today... I dont know what you want to attribute that to.

So now dont edit.. just get on with the next part.
Edited by imagine43 - 9 years ago
loveleen3 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: imagine43



I didnt lie.. This time when I read, I just overlooked(rushed through) all that had bothered me earlier.. Since I had already told you, I could do that I guess.

After reading it everyday, I could finally come to appreciate it today... I dont know what you want to attribute that to.

So now dont edit.. just get on with the next part.



Hahaha Chaitali.. You are very sweet! Let me see what I can do. :D
ronitfan thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#47
Yayyy!!
This was so good.. so so good!
Big wala hug again because it's your birthday today :D

They so want to be close to each other.. maybe just cling on to each other.. but the tension and awkwardness.. and put into that the familiarity they used to have with each other and each other's bodies in the mix! Sizzling!! <3

This part really raised the temperature especially with that 2mm stubble ;)

Waiting for MORE! :D
poetic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#48
Loveleen,
I realise that I have not commented on this part. Agree with Chaitali, it's magical.

I am so happy to see this side to Ragini, believe me. Brings a very different flavour to the entire idea and concept.

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