love thy neighbor

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sudesh kumar

@qwertyesque

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

This question came to me after watching Kank. where people become sufferers of common fate fate and get attracted to each other.. For.. eg...if Preity zinta paid more attention to SRK would he fall for Rani...etc.. these movies are hell bent on breaking the system of arranged marriage.. by trumping the concept of genuine affection over social obligation. So here is the question without taking into account the form of marriage love or arranged...

Lets take an example of a married couple of few to many years. The guy or lets say the girl feels strong affection for some other spouse.. This is not feelings of adultery but genuine affection. they feel they should spend rest of their life with that other persons spouse.. How ok is it for people to pay heed to this feeling and take steps to materialize their dream. This depends on the couples stage in life as well.. say the couple is in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's...the reason being the social pressure just gets higher with their tenure!. But humans will be humans and it depends how well they can suppress this desire for change or how well they want to bury it... in their regrets...Think about Aamirs marriage to Kiran Rao.. Rao is ordinary looking and doesnt carry any special pluses in general still aamir.. decided to go for her in his 40s after giving on his wife who he knew from his early days... life is wierd indeed sometimes... !

how ok is it do you think and how ok is it given their stage in life...given that you only live once and living it your way is not totally wrong... ?

Edited by qwertyesque - 10 years ago

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Angel-likeDevil

@Angel-likeDevil

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

Ya.. Humans and their relationships (so called) are weird indeed.

I just cannot...CANNOT understand how a person can deal with two people at a time. Living with one is taxing by itself, and then, you have the energy to look and engage with another.. :/

It's a mystery I never understood so far

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sudesh kumar

@qwertyesque

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil
Ya.. Humans and their relationships (so called) are weird indeed.

I just cannot...CANNOT understand how a person can deal with two people at a time. Living with one is taxing by itself, and then, you have the energy to look and engage with another.. :/

It's a mystery I never understood so far

😆😆These matters are matters of heart and not head so you cant think and try to understand... this is not dealing with two people at the same time but rather changing the person you deal with all the time.. its not clandestine affair but just a total change...

Edited by qwertyesque - 10 years ago

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

People are constantly changing. Your goals, expectations and desires in life are different today than they were ten years ago. They will be different ten years from now.

Sometimes people in loving committed relationships start drifting apart with change in life. Some people are comfortable with the distance and can sustain relationships. Some people work it out and try to bridge gaps. Some cannot handle the distance and seek people who connect with them better.

I think friendly love and affection is natural. A significant other is not a superhuman who can do everything. People need friends to share interests, hobbies and other pursuits. Most people have one or two close friends who are very dear to them. I think it is OK to have close friends outside of a marriage or relationship.

If the friendly feelings turn romantic people have choices to make. Either sever that friendship or their existing relationship, but never ever betray trust or cheat.

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Ana_R

@LovelyPlanet

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

Love is nothing but chemical reactions in the brain. Cocaine can produce more or less same effect 😉. Not that im promoting drugs.

The bit i dont understand is why do we have crush on other people.

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sudesh kumar

@qwertyesque

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
People are constantly changing. Your goals, expectations and desires in life are different today than they were ten years ago. They will be different ten years from now.
Sometimes people in loving committed relationships start drifting apart with change in life. Some people are comfortable with the distance and can sustain relationships. Some people work it out and try to bridge gaps. Some cannot handle the distance and seek people who connect with them better.

I think friendly love and affection is natural. A significant other is not a superhuman who can do everything. People need friends to share interests, hobbies and other pursuits. Most people have one or two close friends who are very dear to them. I think it is OK to have close friends outside of a marriage or relationship.

If the friendly feelings turn romantic people have choices to make. Either sever that friendship or their existing relationship, but never ever betray trust or cheat.

Nice response RTH but think about it.. a man and woman cant stay as better friends without total intimacy.. at some point it will lead to it.. Also the spouse is not even going to take that friendly feelings so indifferently.. its always jealousy that creeps in. My question is more around how you break away from this social web to transpose relationships if required.. or just compromise?

Edited by qwertyesque - 10 years ago

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sudesh kumar

@qwertyesque

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Unhinged
In short go "Swingers"

you know swingers is all a about sex... but love is not all about sex alone...

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Really whats the point

@Unhinged

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

you know swingers is all a about sex... but love is not all about sex alone...

So you agree it is definitely part of it, however small percentage of it happening.

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sudesh kumar

@qwertyesque

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Unhinged
So you agree it is definitely part of it, however small percentage of it happening.

Not really. It could a part but you seem to make it the only part 😊.

Swingers dont do it because they like each others wife's sarson ka sag or paneer matar 😆 they just want to hump someone other than their wife so that gets their hormones going for their own wife .. its a therapy you know 😆

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Really whats the point

@Unhinged

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

#10

So it is like your "Office Wife". Lot of people spend most of productive day with their office spouse but rarely get to a stage where they indulge in physical intimacy. But I bet their brains are frying in hot oil imagining the day they would indulge in sex.