Down the Ages- 2. The Warrior Princess.
She had always prided herself on being different. She had never been the one to be tied down to traditions. She had carved a distinct personality and individuality that would be the envy of every woman. She had fought wars...amidst men and had been applauded for the same.
But she had learned to confine herself...all for one man. She had sacrificed her individuality and allowed to be bound to the traditions of his house, happily accepting her role as one among his wives. Oh, but she had always been the most cherished one. It was no secret. None of his other queens could match up to her brilliance. She had not been a mere woman, but a Woman of Substance! How her father, brother, husband, all her sons and even the other two queens had always looked up to her and adored her! In no way was any other woman superior to her.
But there had always been a secret longing within her. No matter how respected and loved she was, she had always regretted that she was not the one to have given Maharaj Dashrath the Perfect Son.' Ram! She could sing day and night praises of him...as would every man and woman in Ayodhya. How she had wished Ram had been her son. How she could never help comparing Bharat with Ram. As much as she loved him, how she wished she could call him her very own. How proud her father and her people would be if her son were the one to become the uttaradhikari!
At times, she had wondered why she was so restless. She had always been the best, and got the best. Her father and dear brother had always seen to that. But when it came to providing a heir, why had she disappointed herself? It mattered not much, for the peace in Dashrath's eyes when he saw his children, made up for that deficiency she felt about herself. He was such a proud father...to all the four boys. How easy it was to forget her pain, when it came to the big happy family they all were.
But all that had changed now- In one stroke. She had understood her husband's need to spend some time with Rani Kaushalya since they had been reconciled after years. It had hurt her, but she could overlook it. But then she had questioned her loving husband about a vow he had kept a secret from her for years...That she would be the one to give the heir after all. If she had felt betrayed by his secrecy all these years, in one flashing second he had multiplied the sense of abandonment with his harsh words. What was she to him, after all these years? He was measuring her devotion to him in terms of her fertility? And how cunningly and shockingly he had contrived the situation to his benefit! Who was she, after all? She had given up her individuality to see this day?
Was it the shock of secrecy, the cruelty of betrayal or the vehement denial of responsibility? What shook her more, she was not sure. All she knew now was that this was not the life she had dreamed for herself...It was humiliating to be crushed under the stubborn pride of one man who could not even keep his word...who kept twisting his words to suit his needs! What a nightmare her life had turned into!
Who would get her justice? Who would answer for all she had given all these years? Who would uphold her commitment to this man? Justice had been denied, and she was not going to take this sitting down. She had been brought up to fight...for others...also for what is hers. Such injustice could not go unheeded. If there was no one to shout for justice, she would be that voice. As much as it pained her to distance herself from Ram, she had to do this...for a lot of reasons, and all those reasons were not selfish- she could vouch for that!
But there was an emptiness creeping inside beside the anger. She doubted she could meet Ram's eyes again. Would her son not sense her betrayal? How would he take it? Wasn't she being unfair to him? How would she be ever able to face him again? How she hated that the king had brought her to this...that he had a drawn a line between her and this most favourite son of hers! What a horrible mess her life had turned into, in a matter of hours!
A/N- Dear reader, I seriously hope this is not taken as a feministic take. I do have a favourite among the three queens as portrayed in the show, and that would be Sumithra. But this alternative take on Kaikeyi has been an interesting twist. I have just written her POV here, not necessary that I agree with all of them. But since Maharaj Dashrath had already been cursed, and Ram had been destined not to be confined to Ayodhya, I found this strong take on Kaikeyi very creative..and also very relevant to our times! 👏
Anupamaa
