My Beloved (Ashok-Ahankara)-Updated at Pg 4-*Embers*

Alone. She was sitting alone . She had dismissed her attendants , her maids , her music , dance , sociology teachers for the day. She pushed away the plate after eating a little bit. Food. All delicacies tasted like mud. She was pretty much normal in the exterior. Or so she hoped. She went through her regular duties of listening to her guruma's stupid cooking classes , n even her other lessons of the day. She let her maids give her a bath and dress her up in silk cloth ,

Then she stopped them from decking her up in gold and pearl jewelries like they usually do and asked them to bring flowery ornaments for her, bangles, neck laces , armlet , wristlet and earrings made of rose and night queen and jasmine .

She looked like a puja ki thali on offering , when they were done with her.

And then she gestured them all away . Company was suddenly claustrophobic for her. She needed to be alone on the outside. Just as much as she was feeling inside.

She went to her brother. Sat by the side of his bed and grazed her palm lightly over his forehead in a gesture of infinite fondness. She looked on for a bit at his peaceful sleeping face ,hoping it'd lend her a similar calm. Because it had always done. Even during those days of nightmare when she dreaded every moment for herself, her brother , n her... NO NO NO, she thought vehemently she couldn't remember his face , it hurts too much to even think of him tonight.

"He is going away. Ashok is going to Taxila , and then he'll straight leave for Kalinga ,with out returning to Patliputra for a long time. "

She forced herself to say these words to herself . To let it sink. Like the sinking sun outside in all it's searing red glory. It looked like sun is bleeding in the horizon. Like a bleeding heart.

Ever since the letter came from the palace with the news , she tried to not think about it. Which of course resulted in her thinking about it with every breath she's taking and every breath that's leaving her body. It choked her throats , and she felt as if a constricting band of iron is slowly winding up around her heart.

She wish she could cry. But she had promised herself she'll cry no more the day she entered in the new palace, her new abode , new home . She'll be strong. For the sake of her brother. For the sake of Ashok. Who could die in a heart beat if it means adding one extra smile in her life. She had done her share of crying for a life time. Now that the curse has been lifted , she will rise above the luxury of tears.

But promises are made to be broken, isn't it ?? Beneath the tough sheath of a strong no-nonsense woman, there's a hurt girl , a girl who didn't know when she'll next see her beloved and in what conditions..If at all.

If he would still be single.

She let the tears drop, and roll. Let them fall. Who's watching ?? Who even cares ???? She looked out from the window. The beautiful moon outside was unbearable in it's beauty. It reminded her even more strongly of Ashok, made her yearn for him so hard it was like painful smarting of her heart.

She should've asked the messanger more questions, grill him for more informations. The letter was sent by Radhagupt. It was kind of him. Atleast he remembered that out there some one was praying for Ashok all the time , worrying for him, thinking of him.

Well, Ashok didn't bother to write her, did he ? This truth drove home like thr twist of a pointy sword. Tomorrow he'd leave for Taxilla , yet he didn't think it necessary to communicate it to her . Huh ! Did he even think about her any more ?? She pouted her lips in helpless resentment and misery.

She couldn't fight it any more , she opened the flood gate of her contained heart and let the memories , pain and insecurities crush over her and pummel her.. Her first meeting with Ashok...their subsequent fights ...her father's death...her falling from grace in the eyes of entire Magadh..he was always beside her , through think and thin , from the moment she hold his strong willing extended hands in the balcony till the very end , he never let her feel alone. He was a pillar of strength, support and inspiration. A shelter after both her parents died . It all danced in front of her eyes like a fleeting kaleidoscope.

When exactly did she fell in love with Ashok ? She tried to think of an exact moment when her feelings shifted from friendship to love. But gave up. She was probably always in love with him. May be even when she hated him for his guts , his capabilities and his strength .

She looked at her palms. A promise for a life time. A promise etched in her very being. The three tiny scars blurred as saline drops fell from her eyes on them.

Ever since the death of Achariya Chanakya , Patliputra has erupted in to pandemonium. She was genuinely sad at the news of Achariya ji's death. She held him in high esteem for his kindness , and the way he gave her strength to expose the monstrosities of Sushim in court.

But most importantly AC saved her world , her Ashok. Her beloved. Words failed her to express her depth of gratitude for this Bramhin sage.

She was worried for Ashok , she knew the role Chanakya played in Ashok's life. He was more like father to Ashok than a formal guru. What turmoil he must've gone through after AC's death , she can only imagine. She was thinking of paying him a visit to console him, to comfort him, in whichever way she could.

But then came the news. Ashok has willingly submitted his name to be chosen as the prince to be sent to Taxilla. And he's leaving tomorrow morning.

She felt hollow inside.