Posted:
Its the most bakwaas movie of Salmans career. Movie starts with no head and tail and Prem works in some natak company and have some scene which makes no sense, and tries hard to make you laugh. He is full on latoo over Sonam who is a princess and also a charity owner called Uphaar. She gets to deliver food materials and maggi noodles to kids via dropping off and hanging through the helicopter!! (yes lol)
Suddenly we cut to the other Salman called Vijay lol. Its very hard to take him serious with all the tough guy act that he potrays of the prince when you see his moustache. He also has beef (the other kind, not the one that gets you killed for eating) with his sisters. Turns out his baap was quite a character. Married about like 300 women and have kids from almost all of them. He is he whole fasaad ki jad. Who spared no woman in around 40 towns. And goes to build a frigging bhool bhulaiya for their young kids to play at?, a step brother, two step sisters, bunch of unmarried oldfarts who have been servicing his family since the twillight times lol (insert Katappa from Bahubali aka Anupam Kher).
Some bad guys try to take out Vijay but he gets seriously injured and in coma. Yuvraaj who gets thrown at from insane height, beaten blue and black, kidnapped, prodded, injected, probed and God knows what other travesty befall on him. Thats your cue for Prem uncle to step in as Vijay. He is groomed that prince eats boiled sabzi and speaks in bunch of languages -- after all he is a prince. He goes to receive Sonam Kapoor another princess who makes her entry in (drumroll) a freaking old passenger train. Yes seriously they decorate the stupid paan thook vali train with flowers.?!?! Yes Princess in a train but thats not it.
After about 700 songs Sonam falls in love with Prem because he is quite different and lovabale unlike the grumpy old Vijay. He is quite a douchbag who gets mad at her beause she wears a short skirt? How gay? Anyways Prem decides to get engaged infront of the step sisters home? Yes out of the entire freaking city they find no other place to celebrate this but to rub it in to the step sisters by marrying at her backyard? And then Prem tries to woo them by playing football? Yes it gets more hiarious as you see the sisters are quick to make amends and become friends once he hands over all his wealth (dollar signs biches)
The other step brother Neil Nitin Mukesh (seriously who keeps this stupid name? and Armaan Aukaat Kohli also has problem with Vijay/Prem. After some hilarious over the top fight scene in a palace of mirrors they make amends and bad guy dies. Oh and by the way one hilarious scene where Sonam and Prem are spending quality time alone together in the palace and he is writing things on her back (how romantic). Sonams hormones are off the hook and she is horny as f**k. Prem uncle wants none of it. And have this W*F bish are you for real look on his face? lolol poor her.
Anyways all bad guys dies and all the step brothers, sisters and the rest of bekar chindichor people become friends again. Prem breaks the secret to Sonam and leaves her in the hands of Vijay. He goes back to living life in natak company lol and it turns out Vijay is quite a dilwala and the biggest loser of all. He ends up "giving" Sonam because she is in love with Prem. NOt only that but also his step sisters were actually in love with Prem and so does all his naukar and Step brother. I mean bechara? His entire family hates him and all want prem. Could have just killed his character instead of this humiliation or given him some other heroine in the end -- but no. Salman as Vijay probably lives 40 more years as a virgin and dies surrounded by gay marriedless naukars like Anupam Kher and bunch of others. SOnam probably finally gets to do something about her raging business only to be told by Prem uncle that Isko bhi abhi time hai. lolool
This movie should have been named Dilwale instead. He was indeed biggest loser of all. Gave up his girl, his sisters, brother, naukar, chachi, maasi, phuppi, darzee, driver, and God knows who else. Poor Yuvraaj despite all the swag and ability to speak 14 languages, sword fighting, horse riding, boiled food eating skills goest to waste and he fails to score with Sonam. Ouch
If you are confused what the f**k did you till now then be glad, I only covered like 5 minutes of the plot, it gets more batshit crazy and cartoonish. This movie will surely win the GOlden Baalti, Golden Kela and my phati chaddi and tooti chappal award as well.
Mods: This is a critical essay on impact on families with this movie. Please do not bury or merge it into some stupid box office thread. Having one adverse essay of this movie isnt going to take much space on your forum. This is constructive criticism of this movie so please give others a chance as not everybody is going to be a fangirl/fanboy post. This is Not a review.
Kumkum Bhagya
Hollywood
25