*~*Falling Apart...Sequel*~* 'OS' [PG 20/11 March 2015][PM 2morow] - Page 13

* ~ * Falling Apart...Sequel*~*

*OS*

Hey everyone...jannat here..m her again..and exactly after 2 years what a coincidence..so I m here with another dose of falling apart..a sequel...as m not following any daily soap and no matter how much I try I jst cannot write with any other couple other then Arman and Riddhima..you can imagine any other couple as per your wish...love you all... ..thank you so much for all the support, love and beautiful as well as encouraging comments...I know my writing is still not that good but with you all beside me I m sure I will continue to improve..."This is the last pm to all d buddies with "Jannat_PMacount" account as i will delete all the friends and will request if u want to receive pm for my work - please send a frnd request again or drop a msg in scraps. m really sorry bt i knw due to my late updates dere r nt much readers i m nt complaning its jst dat nw i hv free time and will be updating, i dnt wnt to disturb others as dis account is only for pms. it has 227 buddies and majority of them is not present in my work. sorry if it had hurt anyone.. i love u all...thank u so much for being dere and amazing support

so now m stopping my grand speech and you all can go ahead with the Falling Apart Sequel

She sighed and closed her eyes...and counted numbers from 1 -100, counted sheep's, even concentrated on her breathing procedure but no matter how many ticks she tried she couldn't sleep specially when her brain is working over time..

Opening her eyes she looked towards her left and found him sleeping peacefully with his back towards her..she glared at him as if that would be enough for harming or waking him.. Irony of life, here she is sleep deprived due to him and he is snoring with all the great dreams in his pathetic head

She resisted the urge of punching his head, kicking on his back or better throwing him out of the comfortable bed..She almost screamed in anger feeling the wetness forming in her eyes..again

She cursed wondering who the hell invented these tears..always ready to make grand entry in such situations

Today also nothing new or big happened - for others but according to her these matters where turning into a case of life and death..she couldn't decide what she should do..loose all hope or expectation? Or run away from this prison called as home in fake words..or better finish such a irritating life

She turned her back to him as the depression started engulfing her

Same issues silly expectations of her, unfulfilled dreams, her hatred for boring life, her endless efforts for changing the situation

She had read somewhere "if you don't like the situation then try your best to change it" and she gave her 100% but no matter how much she tried at the end the result showed 0. She tried to change herself which seemed equally impossible coz when you want something how can you act like you don't give a damn..how can you act like someone when you are not the person

Her mind questioned again why she cant stop the expectations..a easy solution to all the misery, why she cant treat him as another monster in her life send by god to make her life more miserable

As if his great mom wasn't enough, god gifted him special qualities to fulfil the plan of "Breaking Ridhima"

"its not that worse" her brain objected

"ofcourse in the marriage of 1 year so what if he never did anything to make her feel special not a single thing ..so what she always came on number 3 or may be 10 in his priority list..so what if he never thought to make any weekend plans with her but surely with his friends..so what in world eyes he is the best son, brother and husband he never bothered to think about her opinion...so what to make sure her equation with his mom is fine he always puts there relation of stake..so what if he never have any answer to her accusations still says they are the best family she could have asked" her heart shouted many more what if's

She closed her eyes and more tears slipped out..she sobbed cursing the fate the so called arrange marriage formula..people said starting one year is kind of honeymoon period but here she is wailing after completing one year, remembering the past year where she never failed to think it as her so called honeymoon period

In all there fights, arrangements he always asked one thing "what have I done??"

And she always cried with "you haven't done anything". And for her that is always the end of fight coz no matter how she tried to explain to him he just doesn't get the point.

What made her cry harder is that he is the reason for making her believe in expectations...his fake promises of making her happy..or working out on issues for their relation..why didn't she saw all this before marriage...there were so many hints that they are not compatible not at all...just coz he has patience and she is the short tempered more honest then him doesn't mean they are compatible. One day he would blabber about how he is going to change his behaviour and try harder for them...and second day he would go back on his previous routine of being the man who could focus on only "F" word () not that one but food...friends his head revolves around these only as this stupid word wife doesn't start with F he believes there is no need to use his brain over it...

Ridhima quickly sat up, and rubbed her hand over her head as it throbbed with pain..

She expected him to "plan something for the weekends as she is working and hardly get time with him and they stay with his parents..she thought to atleast spend some time alone. Armaan had suggested 2 times out in a month maybe movie or lunch or dinner, she wanted 4 but agreed as per his wish" "some time and something special from his side when she would be fasting for him" "a memorial day or evening on their anniversary" "something heart warming on valentine day when the whole world is celebrating the love" "a surprise on her birthday"

Ridhima hugged her body remembering what she got in the end "he hardly planned anything may be a movie or lunch in a month or two" "he didn't bothered to give any gift or perform any ritual "it doesn't happen in my khandan"" "anniversary...ofcourse they went on holidays and the day turned out to be horrible as he was too busy being the best host for his friend and his friend's wife conveniently forgetting he has goddamn wife to look after...he brought cake swinging it in air as sometime back she had suggest that..a flower bouquet which his friends brought for him" "valentine ofcouse washing clothes, making lunch/ dinner or silently bearing the headache seeing the people around her going mad over this day, a sleepless night..day was quite fantastic" "birthday well they were better when she wasn't married to such a khandani man"

She tried everything..every single method people could suggest..talking, explaining, questioning, pleading...when the common ways didn't worked she always found herself tempting for doing something wrong..very wrong...but heart reminded her..there wont be any undo tab..and this helped her in trying to control her wicked brain

Like every other girl she thought Armaan would love her unconditionally...he would do anything to keep the smile on her face as he always said that ...he would make her happy...but there is difference between reality and dreams..and what she expected were all dreams...high dreams which he refused to fulfil to keep her happy..he didn't gave a damn to the damage his actions were doing on Ridhima..as she started losing the hope for him...for them..

What scared her the most that the love started fading away from her heart and she found herself in a relation where only one person is happy..who believes that women are meant to keep their mouth shut and head for nodding in approval, for making food, home chores, entertaining his mother. She tried to tell him to stop all this before she walks away..or decide something bad for them...but he didn't listened or after listening never gave it second thought

Ridhima felt suffocated with everything as she found herself surrounded by the diplomatic people..A husband who is silently asking her to stop all the expectations, always expecting her to be great daughter in law..

To obey all the orders or crap his family throw at her way..

She has to keep her mouth shut

She has to smile like a dummy

She has to be on her toes running around fulfilling the order as if the house is on fire

She has to agree with everything they say no matter what she feels from inside

She has to be puppet and ofcourse the strings would be in his mother's hands

No need to give your opinion even if you are right

A great mother in law who found herself perfect more than anybody oh..except her daughter who has suddenly turned into world second perfect and best lady as first option is occupied by the none other then mother-in law itself. Its not like she is bad she if good but only when her daughter in law is ill...another mystery for Ridhima, a women who eats her head all day and night how come change in seconds from typical sasu maa to oh such a sweet mother in law role...

Always giving lectures on right and wrong, bad and good, yes or no..50 times a day pravachan about world second perfect lady their daughter..

And here Ridhima is expected to listen quietly, sometimes laugh in between, nodding of head several times in approval, or doing the appraisal ritual

She sighed as the list went on and on...

So if her expectations are foolish or childlike act in Armaan's words then what the hell are they doing?? aren't they expecting a lot from her?? Isn't it all about expectations?

When the girl who didn't listened a single word against herself is bearing the certain unbearable accusations, all time burden of perfection. A girl who lived with pride and never let anybody ruin her self respect is silently listening everything how her work is less then the perfection, how the food is great but previously their daughter used to make so many mouth-watering dishes so probably this is not best. How she can't adjust if they family would have been bad like their daughter who adjusted so nicely perfectly. Perfect example of greattt bride

If she is doing her best to fulfil expectations of all of them and copping with all the crap, just expecting him to take care of her. Is it wrong?? Or is it too much too ask??

She felt the walls around her revolving as the thoughts continued draining her and realized she cannot live like this...after struggling and fighting with all the difficulties life threw on her face..It wasn't a crime to hope for a normal happy married life. She knew there would be ups and downs, adjustments but what she didn't knew was she will have to loose her soul in the process. "This wasn't some 5th century where I m expected to live like a maid..and even if the whole world expect.. i wont accept this not anymore" she decided heatedly

Her breath quickened as the hopelessness increased with each thought...

"Armaan" she tried to call him

"Armaan" she called him again grasping she couldn't live like this..she has to take a decision or she would soon loose the last bit of the sanity on which she is hanging

"told you, you wont be able to sleep..par maanti kaha ho tum..come here" she looked at him as he opened his arms for her

She glared at him in the dark...remembering her sleepless nights as her ego always held her back reminding her about his preference

"i don't need this" she replied thickly, slapping his arms away from herself...in start it was difficult to fall asleep without his arms around her..yes she had practically addicted to this, no matter how much she tried she couldn't sleep without her thick head on his shoulder. It was like some magic she would lie in his arms listening to his heartbeats, with his arms around her waist holding her tightly. She don't even know how this worked but for her it always did.

"I don't want to fight babe, Forget all this nonsense..Come on you wont be able to sleep" he mumbled..she cursed herself

"Why you think so much?? Sab kuch tumhe itna acha mila hai..pta nhn kya problem hai tumhari" he sighed in irritation ...a last straw she needed on the wound

"I want divorce" before she could think the world rolled out of her tough...it didn't felt wrong...at one point everyone feels regret of not taking the action at the right time...but she didn't wanted to regret after 5-6 years..rather then living into a bad relationship its better to walk away...and the point that he doesn't care about her feelings and trauma gave her the confidence..

"tum ye sab gusse mei bol rhi ho..so jao... m not giving you any divorce so better stop all this" he answered and looked at her

"I m not happy with you..do you understand??? This relationship is not about you..or only about one person..if you cant keep me happy let me go" she argued

"Ridhima faltu ki bakvas band karo..kya lga rkha hai? Kyu khush nhn ho tum? Sab kuch toh acha mila hua hai, sab jrurt puri hoti h..jo tum chahti ho wo hota hai aur kya chahiye" he retorted with his each word his voice raising to the point where she couldn't take it

She never felt this urge before to punch right on his face or better to hit him with a bat on his head. How can this man claim that she have everything or everything is done as per her wish...come-on no one under right state of mind would ask these things to happen to them

A husband who doesn't feel need to care for his so called wife..or make her feel special or celebrate any damn occasion but has a book of expectations for her to fulfil..she wondered what she is?? A retarded dog?? Whom they all are trying to educate??

She don't even feel like arguing with him...that feels such a waste of time and energy

"That is your opinion not mine.. if I m expecting my husband to keep me just happy not some million dollar or thing which are not even possible..is it too much to ask then I m sorry but I refuse to be a puppet of 4 people or your society..i wont be here like a carpet and accept everything you all throw on me..either take it or leave it...this time if its not my way...then I will make sure it wont be as per any other way" she huffed as her anger and depression taking toll on her...but she felt the light...as if this is what will stop her misery..

"really?? For your kind information mam you cannot live in this society without a man...and every woman do this its not just you...it works this way compromise and adjustments..that what all women do and you will have to do the same.." his reply made her feel sick,...she didn't even realized that rather then marrying a man she has gotten into a relationship with an uneducated jerk who is living a life of may be 200 years back. she felt the vomit in her throat as his words made her shiver..

"I wont ...no matter how but m sure I don't want this...so I will end this..even if it takes my life" she assured him and looked away not interested in hearing anything else

Out of all the people she choose this men as her husband?? Rather then anger she felt humiliated and ashamed for her decision of spending life with him...even after everything she never thought his thinking would be so low..now he is expecting her to live like an official maid with adjustments and compromises. Only if he had bothered to open his mouth earlier they both would have been saved from this mess

Soon she felt the wetness in her eyes as his words kept on replaying in her head again and again

She bit her lip as her body shook due to sobs...it should be illegal to spend the life with one men when they are so incapable in taking care of someone's life..when they don't deserve to given such a privilege of being the world for someone..

Her eyes felt heavy due to all the crying and painful reality..she had thought he was bit silly or immature...but have an innocent and loving heart...but his actual views said something else...she found herself in an endless trap..no way to walk out of this

She wiped the tears furiously, fighting back the hurt and pain. Her heart whispered two words ...Something she didn't wanted to admit..Falling Apart

She found herself Falling Apart again with each breath as his words continued to haunt her...

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