After hearing the truth about Parvati's past, Rudra had to sit down. He fought back tears as he struggled to come up with the proper response. But he found that there was none. He looked at mami-sa, who was covering her mouth to muffle her sobs. She was crying. He could see the pain she was going through as Paro relived her past, explaining every excruciating detail. She was leaning against the wall for support. Obviously, this experience traumatized her as much as did to Paro. She must have felt partially responsible for Parvati's condition, and he couldn't blame her, but didn't find her at fault. No one could have expected Varun to have such a dark side. Even he thought the guy seemed nice from the pictures. But looks were clearly deceiving.
Rudra then turned his attention to Parvati. She stood a few feet in front of him. The dried tear streaks on her cheeks showed evidence that she had been crying. Only when she completed her story did the tears finally stop. Her hands were clenched by her sides as her gaze met his, waiting for his response. But all he could do was look at her. He couldn't believe how much she had suffered, and that too alone. She had kept this bottled up for years, her only solace being mami-sa. How could someone hurt, let alone think of hurting, someone was innocent as Paro? Varun got off easy with death. If he had known Paro before, and found out that this was happening, there was no way that guy would have gotten away with it. Rudra finally understood the reason behind Paro's actions and words. She was a dove...a dove with broken wings and a tattered soul. He had to get her to see that all those things Varun said were not true. However, Rudra didn't know how to go about convincing her. As the deafening silence continued between them, Parvati knew that his words failed him.
She was the first to break the silence, "Now do you understand why I am the way I am? I am not worthy of love."
Rudra tossed the album on the couch next to him and stood up, "I understand why you feel that way, but you're wrong in your thinking. Varun was an idiot. He didn't treat you right. He's lucky he's dead because if he were alive and still doing what he did, I would have killed him. I hope he suffered when he died."
"Don't say that. At the end of the day, he still was my husband."
"You can't possible believe what he said was true?"
Parvati didn't respond.
"Paro?" he said questioningly.
She said nothing.
"Why didn't you just leave him? He wouldn't have been able to do anything."
"Where would I have gone?"
"Anywhere. At least you would be away from him! Away from the abuse and torture."
"Rudra, those vows I made on my wedding day bound us together. I couldn't just break those bonds and go against everything I believed in."
"That's all crap and you know it!" he said angrily. "What good are those vows when your own husband doesn't believe in them? He only wanted you for one thing, Paro! And he made you believe that no one loved you or would ever want you! That's not what a husband is suppose to do!"
"I was his wife. What could I do?"
"It isn't the 1800s! It's the 21st century! You had the right to leave him. Take action against him!"
"No one would have believed me."
Rudra paused, "...Did he tell you that?"
She nodded, "He had said that no one would believe me because what I said didn't matter. No one would waste their time taking what I say seriously."
"Have you gone mad?" he clenched his fists. His anger rose. "How could think that what Varun said was true? How could you believe that you are unwanted and unloved?"
"He was all I had. If I lost him, then I would have had no one."
"What about mami-sa? And the kids at the orphanage? You had them, right? Or did they not matter? Do they not count?"
"You don't understand. I didn't want to become a burden on mami-sa. She-."
"Mami-sa loves you like you're her own daughter! Even I can see that. The kids address you as their elder sister! Doesn't that count for something? You can't tell me I don't understand. From where I'm standing, the only person that doesn't understand is you."
"Rudra I-."
"Let me ask you this," he moved closer so he was directly in front of her. "What did you expect to gain from telling me all of this? Did you think I would stop talking to you after knowing everything? Did you think my feelings for you would change after knowing the truth? That this would make me push you away like you originally wanted?"
She said nothing, but continued to listen, knowing from the look in his eyes that he had much more to say.
"Tell me Paro. Am I suppose to look at you with disgust? Am I suppose to consider you at fault for that piece of filth's behavior? You were his victim and you still are because you aren't moving forward. By letting your past win, you're letting him control your life even though he isn't even alive anymore! He doesn't deserve to win, and you don't deserve to live your life in misery!"
Parvati's eyes brimmed with tears.
Rudra took a deep breath and in a calmer, but firmer voice, he spoke, "I don't care."
"What?" she asked.
"I don't care about all of this, Paro. None of this matters to me."
"But-."
"No but's." he caressed her cheek softly, and she didn't move away. "You are not worthless Paro. You're priceless. Don't punish me for Varun's crimes. I am not him."
She stiffened beneath his touch, but he continued anyways, knowing he had to bear his heart to her now before she receded within herself again.
"I thank you for finding me worthy enough to tell your past to. But it doesn't change how I feel about you. I still love you, and I will always love you. That will never change. If I have to prove it to you then I will...everyday for the rest of my life."
"What do you mean? How?"
Rudra took a deep breath before he cupped her face in both of his hands, "I will marry you."
Gasps came from both mami-sa and Parvati.
"Marry me, Paro. This is the best proof I can give to show you that, despite knowing everything, my feelings for you have not and will never change. I-."
Parvati pushed his hands away and took a step back, "No."
"What?" he asked disbelievingly.
"No, I can't marry you. I won't."
"But Paro-."
"I won't marry you. I refuse to be with you and ruin your reputation. If you married me, people will look down upon you. I'll be a blemish on your family's good name. Society will put you down for marrying me...a widow. They called me a curse and ill-fated, and I don't want them to say anything against you."
"I don't care."
"But I do! I will not marry you, Ru-."
THUD.
The conversation between Rudra and Parvati remained unfinished. They looked to where the sound had originated from and, to their horror, they found mami-sa on the ground, unconscious.
~
"Ms. Desai has suffered a massive heart attack," Doctor Sheetal Kapoor informed Rudra and Parvati, who were both now standing in the waiting room of the hospital. "It is mostly likely due to shock or stress, but we can't determine for certain the cause. We are, however, going to have to operate on her as soon as possible. Once we have the proper knowledge of how massive this attack actually is, we'll take her to the Operating Theatre. Until then, we'll do the best we can."
"Can I see her?" Parvati asked.
"As soon as she regains consciousness, you may. But remember, her situation is very delicate, so it's best not to discuss anything that could stress her out or shock her. Understood?"
Parvati and Rudra nodded. Doctor Kapoor went back into the room to further examine mami-sa, leaving the two of them alone. Rudra sat down on the chair and ran a hand roughly through his hair while Paro sat down next to him and stared blankly at the wall in front of her. She fought back tears. After mami-sa had collapsed, Parvati had rushed to her side while Rudra called for an ambulance. She was rushed to the nearest hospital, where they immediately took her into a room and began evaluating her. The two of them followed behind the ambulance on Rudra's motorcycle. They weren't allowed to go in, so all that was left to do was wait.
Almost an hour later, Doctor Kapoor came out of the room. Paro and Rudra stood up and went to her, anxious for news on mami-sa.
"How is she doctor?" Rudra asked.
"She is conscious," the doctor replied. "Are you Parvati and Rudra?"
The two of them nodded.
"Ms. Desai wishes to speak to you both, separately."
"Did she say why?" Parvati asked curiously.
"She didn't explain anything. She just said she wanted to speak to both of you, but separately. I'll give you two a moment alone with her while the main surgeon and I prep for surgery."
Doctor Kapoor left. Rudra looked at Parvati, who was looking at him. Their faces mirrored each other, confusion etched upon them. Both were wondering what mami-sa wanted to talk to them about. Rudra signaled her to go in first, while he waited outside. Parvati nodded and, after taking a deep breath, went into the room.
It was difficult to see the woman who had been the mother figure in her life struggle between life and death. Not only was mami-sa plugged in to various machines, but the wires that were attached to her made her seem like a welting flower among vines. She looked so weak and pale. Her life was practically being drained from her. Parvati used all her strength to stop herself from crying. She knew why mami-sa wanted to talk now. It was just in case something happened to her. Paro didn't want to think about a world without mami-sa. She was all she had left. What would she do without her? She shook the thoughts out of her head. Nothing would happen to her; she would be fine. She stood by the bed, and looked at mami-sa, who was now looking back at her, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips.
"Mami-sa I-." Parvati began. She stopped when mami-sa weakly held her hand that rested on the bed.
"Sshh," she said softly. "Right now, it's my turn to speak."
Parvati nodded.
"You know, I always blamed myself for what had happened to you. Had I known about that man's true character, I would have never married you off to him."
"None of us knew. It's not your fault."
"I wish I had known what was happening. I could have at least tried to stop it."
Paro's eyes watered, "Mami-sa I-."
"How long have you known that Rudra loves you?"
Her eyes widened.
"I know you've known. I saw it in the way he said he still loves you. You weren't surprised, so I knew he must've said it before. Tell me, how long?"
"He confessed that night I had dinner with his family."
"And you stopped talking to him afterwards...correct?"
Parvati nodded again.
"Even after knowing everything, he still loves you so much. And he wants to marry you."
"I can't marry him mami-sa. I won't allow him to ruin his reputation."
"He won't be."
"Yes, he would."
"I understand how you must be feeling, but Paro...you deserve happiness, and it will be with Rudra."
Parvati remained silent.
"Parvati, marry him."
She looked at her, stunned that mami-sa would ask her to do such a thing, "I can't do that."
"I can see that you care for him, whether you want to admit it or not. He is right, you know? You shouldn't punish him for Varun's mistakes. Rudra isn't that man. You can marry him. It isn't wrong. Rudra will protect you."
"But I-."
With the little strength she had, mami-sa lifted Paro's hand and placed it on her head, "Whether you decide to marry him or not, let Rudra at least be there for you. Swear on me that you will do this much."
Parvati stood silently, mouth agape. Words failed to reach her lips. How could she deny mami-sa's request when she has taken an oath on her life? Why was Bholenath putting her in such situations? She was helpless now. In defeat, Paro nodded in agreement, giving in to mami-sa's plea. Mami-sa removed her hand from her head.
"I'm sorry, but you left me with no other option," she said. "You deserve happiness and it will be with Rudra."
~
Parvati came out of the room, and was stopped by Rudra, who looked at her concernedly.
"What happened?" he asked. "What did she say? Are you alright?"
"She wants to talk to you," was all Parvati said to him before she sat down. He looked at her, then at the room door. Without any hesitation, Rudra walked in. He looked at mami-sa's form lying on the hospital bed, and his heart reached out to her. This woman didn't deserve to be in this state. She had always been nice to him, to anyone she knew to be precise. Seeing her like this made him think of Paro. He continuously questioned why such bad things happened to good people. Mami-sa was looking at him, waiting for him to come to her side. He took large strides to make his way to her, and in no time he was right where Paro stood moments ago, holding her hand gently in his.
She gave him a faint smile, "I'm glad to see you here."
"I wasn't going to leave," Rudra replied calmly. "I'm not going to until you are okay."
"Rudra, what you said earlier...at my home...was that true?"
"I meant every word."
"Even about your feelings for Paro?"
Rudra nodded, "I love her."
"Rudra beta, I want you to promise me something."
"Anything."
"I want your word that you will protect Paro. I want you to promise me that you will always be there for her."
"You don't even have to ask me for that. I love her, mami-sa. I'm always going to be there for her."
"But I want your word."
"Okay okay. I promise. I give you my word. Even if Paro doesn't want me in her life, I will be there for her, watching over her."
There was a pause before mami-sa said, "Paro will marry you."
Rudra looked at her surprised.
She nodded, "She will. Not right now, but she will eventually. I know you will protect her. I don't want her to be alone in this world when I die."
"Hey!" he said in a fake angry tone. "You are not going to die, mami-sa. You hear me?!"
She smiled a little more, "I have to die one day, and you know that. I just don't want Paro to be alone in this world when the time comes. It's because of this reason that I made her swear on my life to consent."
Rudra's smile faded, "I don't want to force her to do anything. How would I be any different from Varun then? No, I won't force her to marry me."
"Then just be with her and protect her. Stay by her side, please. There will come a day when she willingly agrees to marry you."
"I'll be there for her, but I won't force her to-."
"I know, Rudra. I know. You're nothing like Varun, and that's why I'm entrusting Paro with you."
Rudra sighed. He knew why mami-sa was speaking like this. She feared that the end was near, and he didn't want her to think like that. However, for her peace of mind, he made the promises and agreed to her requests. But he knew she was going to be okay, she had to be. Not just for herself, but for Paro. If something happened to her, Parvati would be devastated. Who knows what eternal dark abyss she would go into this time. No. Mami-sa was going to be okay.
Rudra exited the room a few minutes later. He found Parvati right where he had left her, sitting in the waiting room, staring at the wall in front of her, lost. He sat down next to her and leaned his head back before closing his eyes. Doctor Kapoor came to them once to inform them about the surgery, which would take about eight hours to complete. Parvati signed the consent forms and the doctor left to take mami-sa into surgery. In the meantime, Rudra informed his parents about the events that had occurred, and how he would be staying with Paro until mami-sa came out of surgery. His parents spoke comforting words to Parvati, which she appreciated. After talking to them, the two of them stayed in the waiting room, watching the hours tick by. They didn't look at each other once. Rudra didn't know when her hand slipped into his, or when their fingers intertwined like lace, but he didn't question it. Right now, it was the best form of comfort he could give her. There was nothing they could do now but wait.
Six hours later, Doctor Sheetal Kapoor returned to the waiting room. A sense of fear clawed at Rudra as he noticed she was here earlier than expected. He didn't say anything as Parvati went to the doctor. She didn't let go of his hand, causing him to get up and go to the doctor as well. Even before he reached her, Rudra saw the look of remorse flicker in Doctor Kapoor's eyes, and it was then he knew. He looked at Parvati, who was watching the doctor, waiting for the word on mami-sa. It wasn't long until she too caught a glimpse of the remorseful look. She shook her head, hoping that it wasn't true. She looked at Rudra, who shook his head. The sorrow in his gaze confirmed the doctor's silence. Parvati reached out to him, and he immediately grabbed her and held her for support. Within seconds, Parvati crumbled in his arms. Neither of them said a word as reality sank in. And Doctor Kapoor? She could only stand by and apologize.
"I'm sorry."
After six hours in surgery, Rajeshwari Desai, whom everyone simply knew as mami-sa, went into cardiac arrest on the operating table and died.
**********
*wails and blows nose in tissue* Why did I do such a thing?! MAMI-SA! Yeah, I bet none of you saw that coming. Let me know what you think by leaving your comments and feedback below.
Next update: Parud's moonlit night: soulful thoughts and life changing decisions.
Thanks for reading!
