Taste Of Innocence
Closer she got pulled,
her body now leaning on his,
dancing with grace,
to the symphony of melancholic haze.
Chest to chest,
her heartbeats so apace,
dancing with him placidly,
trying to keep her breathing awake.
Staring into each others eyes,
icy-blue and stormy grey,
his seemed dead, hers so radiant,
both so different, yet so interlaced.
He was a mystery she just met,
totally oblivious of his true intent,
for he was the devil in disguise,
and she was the prey he wished to torment.
A kiss was shared,
her soul he stole,
his lips like morphine,
knocked her out cold.
Leaving starts as a desire ~ and if that desire is strong enough ~ it turns into action ~ I don't have that desire ~
Bastien
"Abhi", he was shaking his son, trying to wake him up from his deep slumber. But the child lying there in a growing pool of his own blood was refusing to wake up. "Abhi, please wake up, are you angry with your dad, please wake up", Shlok was asking him hoarsely.
"Wake up, please my child look your father is regretting his outburst on you", he tried to turn the child on his back and his hands came out bloodied. Still his mind was unable to accept that the tiny angel whom he had cherished and loved the most in his life, and who was like a flame for his dark and twisted life had burnout completely...
"Please Abhi, don't leave me alone here, look your father is scared", he was crying, his tears falling on the chest of his little angel, mingling with his blood. But the angel had already turned his back on him, leaving him floundering in the dark, trying to find a way out in order to reach his angel...
And that was the time that he had realized that his darkness knew no bounds. That it was a curse for everyone whom he loved and cherished. He couldn't protect anyone and as of now one more guilt was added in his already long list of guilty sins...
He was a monster, a devil incarnate whose job was to only swallow angels. It was good for him to feel nothing for people around him other than pure hatred cause atleast it kept them alive...
Everything that he touched became ashes, dark and twisted like him. What type of legacy would he be transferring to his child, when it was always his loved ones who were still haunting his dreams, reproaching him on being weak, a coward, a no good father and son who was not able to protect them at all?
A worthless dog of a man...
Everyday living was a torture for him. He was already dying of self-guilt and the added weight of taking someone's innocence and dragging them to his level was crushing his self-being. Who would have thought that someone would bring him to this level, where he would think of nothing other than sacrificing his own life for them? How ironic was it? That the person, who would bring him to this level, would be his enemy's daughter, the man who destroyed his life eternally...
And now the same daughter was going to bore him a child. History repeating itself or maybe another chapter of hatred and revenge opening up for him. Who would decide that she wasn't doing this for the child or maybe for revenge? Who could decide where hatred ends and love begins? What exactly was the theory of unconditional love? It was not like love didn't exist, it sure existed in the world for other people but for him it was an absolute no.
Love was cruel, like a glimpse of water in the desert for a thirsty person. And he was the eternal loser who had accepted being thirsty forever rather than trying to search for the water of love...
He had never given that love another chance, another hope. And it was better this way if Astha accepted it too...
Taking a deep breath Astha moved nearer to Shlok. "What do you want me to do then?, Just tell me damn you", she had grabbed his shirt collar and was shaking him. "Nothing princess", reflexively his fingers rouse and curled around her wrists, trying to prise his collar away from her grasp.
At his casual behavior her temper raised to another notch. "You cowardly son of a b***h", curling the starched fabric of his shirt she shook him harder, until the fine cloth gave way between her fingers, shredding with a rending sound...
"Shut up", the statue atlast roared to life. "Don't you dare curse after my mother", grasping her shoulders he shook her just like she was shaking him moments ago. "I will, if you'll stand there like a coward, without giving yourself a real chance at happiness", she snarled back.
"I don't want to be happy, don't you get that princess and certainly don't by you, never by you", his eyes were beginning to glow with a feline light and his lips were curling, baring his white teeth in a wolfish snarl, infact his whole demeanor had changed to look animalistic...
She had really released his demons, she thought shuddering. But there was no time to act cowardly, she must do what she thought was necessary for her and for him. "Don't you see princess that it would be so easy for me", he slid his hands across her shoulders towards her neck, enclosing it in his masculine fingers...
"So easy for me to snap that little neck of yours", he exerted a little pressure and her heart started to beat with some strange feeling akin of fear and excitement.
She knew he was only doing this to make her run away from him. His trembling fingers around her throat were betraying him, but still it was making her nervous as hell, him being so close to her and in this fearful mood. "I have done so in the past to many people, so why do you think I would have any qualms on doing the same to you", he had drawn his face near hers and with his every word his hot breath hit her face, releasing a hot rush of adrenaline in her veins...
"If that is what you want, do it then", raising her hands she put her palms over the back of his hands, exerting pressure over them and gazing fearlessly into his eyes. A dark shadow chased across his face and his fingers loosened their grip around her throat...
"Kill me and end it all, if it makes you happy, or let me live and give you happiness", she pleaded as one lone tear slid from the corner of her eyes, making its way across her cheek and in the end splashing over his hand. "Kill me and your revenge will be over, then you won't have to bear the pain of trusting me, if it is what that is making you hesitate in taking a step towards me", she put more pressure over his hands, that were enclosing her neck...
Foolish girl, didn't she know it would only harm her to remain by his side. It was only a matter of time destruction would come after him. And keeping her with him will only harm her life and her child. His child, their child, he closed his eyes with pain at the thought. He knew that he was not the one born to love.
But the girl who loved him so desperately, he didn't want her not to be able to love him anymore. To exist with hatred for him, rather than to not exist at all, he would accept that as his fate...
Why o why he didn't send her on her way, when she hated him from the bottom of her depths. He would regret that everyday of his life, not sending her on her way and instead involving himself in her life. He had thought that revenge would give him satisfaction and once he would have destroyed his enemy and everything associated with him, he would be able to live peacefully without his demons.
The innocence that he had seen in her eyes when she was a child, offering him her ice-cream, it was still there in her eyes. He was not able to take it away, he would never be able to take it away...
He had craved her soul from the time he had known that she was Avdhoot's daughter. There was something so pure in her gestures, that one part of him had wanted to snatch her away from her father, saving her from evilness and one part of him had wanted to take away that pureness for himself so he could absolve himself of the pain of feeling dirty and impure everyday.
Why his enemy who had dirtied his life and muddied his soul, whose seed should remain pure and clean, he had thought and had devised methods on bringing Avdhoot Kirloskar on his knees, by using that seed of his...
But for once in his life when he had thought someone would accept him, as he was dirty and impure he had almost given up his plans of revenge for someone's love and the innocence of his child. But it was just an illusion which had slipped through his fingers like the sands of time but it had taught him that he was better off without them...
He was better with his original plan of taking revenge on his enemy and restoring his soul back to perfection...
But revenge as he thought of now had done nothing for him. He had broken his enemy, snatched his daughter's innocence for himself, blood for blood, innocence for innocence, just as he had always thought his revenge would be fair and square, but still he felt unclean, infact more impure and undeserving of love...
Cruel him, disgusting him and lowlife him as ever. He had never deserved that child's innocence and pure affection in the past and still he didn't deserve her unconditional love now in present. She would be better off without him. His child would be better off without a monster for a father...
It was better to kill that emotion in the bud, rather than to see it blooming and then dying away. Then the hurt would be tenfold. Better to transform that emotion into hate inside her rather than seeing it dying everyday infront of him. No one could love him forever and she won't too...
He was good at making her hate him, and he would do so again if it means making her leave him for good. He would be cruel for once again, this time for her own good...
But for the last time he would be selfish, just this once, he will take another taste of innocence so that he would remember it till his dying days and would torture himself on what could have been and what he had lost...
The innocence that was gazing out of her eyes, trembling on her lips and taunting him that she was what he was not...
"Damn you, for taunting me like that", his voice was a whiplash across her soul, a demonic cry that raised the goosebumps on her flash. "Damn you", he snarled hitching up her chin by putting two thumbs underneath it, his fingers still holding her neck in their circle...
Atlast he was showing some sort of sign of living, even if it was anger...
Shlok was still cursing as his mouth crashed over her lips, taking the breath out of her windpipe, sucking everything out of her soul. Her heartbeat roused alarmingly until she could hear it beating inside her eardrums. His kiss was like pounding surf, like waves crashing against the seashore. He took everything and gave everything that he was. It was agonizing, poignant, and passionate or like two extinct breeds mating for their survival...
Sighing in his mouth she rose over her tiptoes and moved her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. He moved his mouth to the other side, angling it so he could take a deeper taste of its sweetness. Hot fire zinged along her veins and she moaned in her throat. He returned the favor with a growl.
His good hand was now moving across her body, over her waist, flaring hips, rounded buttocks, caressing and weaving a web of hot fire before moving back to clasp one firm womanly breast. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sensual gesture. Without giving attention to the thought about what the future held for them? She raised her knee and caressing his inner calf with her instep she hitched that leg over his hip, making him draw a sharp breath under his nose and to tighten his hold on her breast...
Astha's hands were clutching at his hair, pulling him down to her, still wanting to maintain contact with his hot mouth, which was getting hotter with time. She needed his breath to breathe, his heat to make her feel alive. Without him her thought was that she would grow shrivel, grow cold and die...
He was as necessary to her heart like blood, as necessary to her body like a breath of fresh air...
His tongue was between her teeth, limber and cavorting, drawing the utmost pleasure from her throaty groans. Her breasts were on fire, tingling where he hadn't touched still and burning where he had touched. Her flesh felt too tight and strung, clamouring for release.
Shlok wrapped his left arm around her waist, and it protested with pain, but he was far gone in arousal to pay any heed to it. His right hand moved over her distended peaks, rolling the turgid nipples between his fingers that were already swollen and yearning for his firm touch. Moaning she lost her footing and collapsed against his chest, only her leg which was hitched around his hip, kept her from melting like a puddle at his feet...
One hand still wrapped around her waist he slid the other one downwards along her thigh around his waist until he reached its apex. He traced that throbbing and aching part of hers and she leapt in his arms as if she had just received an electric shock. Lurching like a drunken sailor she encircled her arms around his neck and continued the kiss...
It was the end and he would have no more of it. By why did it hurt when he thought about the farewell. His heart knew the pain and it cried, releasing all of it's pain in the salty waters welling in his eyes, and mourning all of its loss in the crystal droplets that slid from his eyes and joined him on their lips, mingling with her salty tears...
The waves crashed, the surf pounded and the heat was intense like the burning of thousand suns beneath her skin. But it didn't scorch her flesh, infact the pleasure was intense, unending. She was standing in a vast Greenland where birds chirped, doves cooed and the sea breeze blew, hitting her with salty droplets. Then everything vanished. Gone was her dream and in its place she was standing in a darkened tunnel which had no end and no beginning...
Feeling claustrophobic Astha opened her eyes too stare into two cynical eyes that were looking at her with amusement shining from their depths. When did the kiss end? She didn't know but she was still clutching at his torn shirt. He had released his hold on her and her leg had fallen away from his hip. Shocked she looked at his changed demeanor. The man did really know on how to blow hot and then cold in on moment...
For a second she could almost discern a certain moistness in his eyes that can only come from tears. It seemed as it was her dream that had died in his eyes, instead of in her own. So much dark were his eyes, just like the dark and cold interior of a morgue. But it was probably a trick of the light because he blinked once and the moisture was gone and in its place was the still same coldness of old days. She would never understand that man in a thousand years...
"See princess, so easy", he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. Her mouth fell open in an outraged breath. Sighing he brought his hands on her shoulders and moved her a little away. "If I wanted to kill you, I would have done so a long time ago", his lips parted in a dry smile. Don't do this, his heart seemed to be screaming a warning to him...
"But what is revenge if not letting a person live physically while killing that person mentally every day, isn't it princess", his eyes were again glinting with that same devilish light of the past. "When I had another weapon in my arsenal why would I just kill you and let you off the hook so easily", he tapped a finger at her lips which had parted with disbelief.
"You needed to feel my hatred and my passion for destruction", his voice was menacing. She shut her mouth with a snap, to what extremes he would go, once a jerk always a jerk, she thought her anger mounting fast. "Yes you did that to me, but even you must have a limit, revenge doesn't make you happy, does it", she answered heatedly...
"It did give me great satisfaction though, to see you like that, but now the fun is really over", he slid his hands slowly along her arms, touching her warmth for the last time which would serve as a memory in the upcoming lonely and cold days.
"I got all from you, which I wanted, now you have nothing more to offer me princess", his hands had fallen to his sides. She saw his fingers curling at his sides and her lips twisted in a humorless smile. "You seemed to be in a contradiction here, pray tell me then why would you save me?".
"Inorder to keep my hatred alive, I would have to keep you alive", his eyes were glowing with maniacal light. He grasped her shoulders, almost lifting her up on her toes. "Why I should be the one alive to bear the brunt of agony, while my enemy was living happily, mocking the blood that my family shed", he snarled into her face. Just leave princess, just leave me alone, I am giving a chance to you, why won't you escape, he thought with agony.
"To destroy you completely, I had to take care of you my princess, your destruction should be at my hands, I won't even let death take that pleasure out of my hands", he was grinning beastly, his white teeth glinting sharply in the half light.
It was the truth, but half the truth. He didn't want her dead at all, but that's because he didn't want her to be able to not breathe because of him...
He had the burden of many deaths on his conscience he didn't want another on his and that too of hers...
God must be smiling up above there, in the heavens, humans, they would never understand. God always gives a chance to people who venture in the dark to come back into the light. It just depends on how much far gone that person is in the dark...
Sometimes the chance and help comes in a human form. And Astha Kirloskar was that chance for Shlok Agnihotri. The candle which would light the flame of his hope again...
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Jhanak
Shiv Shakti
