Abhigya OS Trilogy - Inner Moments

• Thank you Mina di...Always...for listening to my rants...helping me get through the "I hate this" phase and encouraging me to post it up on the forum
• Thank you my Dhinglu Diahh...for reading and asking me why I hadn't posted it up already!
• Thank you to Dee Doll, Mishti, Donny, Ishu, Lk, Ray and Tia for reading and giving me feedback when I want too sure!

She looked completely different as she glided down the stairs. He had gone up almost an hour ago to let her know that the wedding rituals had started and she needed to be downstairs before the shubh mohurat passed.

When he left she was still dressed in her long monochrome anarkali, that made her look like one of those dancers in the 70s' movies that his Dadi so enjoyed watching.

He had thought that he would have to drag her down knowing she did not want to get married at all, but it was for himself he was doing this. He didn't want her coming back into this house, and this was the most assured way of achieving that. Dadi would never ask a married woman to come back.

The designer had not gone for a typical Chashmish look when she designed the wedding attire that he had requested urgently. Usually chashmish would never be caught with any skin showing.

She was covered from head to toe when they had gotten married. Her mehndi almost to her elbows, where the blouse sleeves had ended and her chuda covered most of the mehndi anyways, the blouse had had a modest neck and back, unlike some of the blouses that Tanu and Aliyah wore.

The rest of her was covered with her dupatta, the he would have bet was almost the length of a saree. And since that clearly wasn't enough she had that kumkum colored chuni that covered her head and any other skin that might have been visible.

Yet here she was in a modern blouse and a dupatta that wasn't enough to cover even half her waist and her lengha; why was it so low? He needed to have a word with the designer to let her know that this wasn't done, he could not have his wife walking around showing that much skin, especially not when he himself had never actually seen that much skin himself.

There was an exception, she was wearing her chashma today. And why did that not take away the hypnotising effect. She wasn't looking at him yet his gaze was stuck on her. Her jadoo seemed to have spread to the rest of her face.

Did it bother him? That she had never shown him that much skin; even those first few nights she covered herself up everytime he walked in the room and to this day she still never went a day without her dupatta draped over her as though she was protecting herself from the cold. It obviously did, if all he wanted to do was cover her up with the draping over the staircase.

And why has she agreed to wear this in the first place? Was it because she's getting married to that double battery?There was definitely something going on between the two. but what? She'd vehemently denied having anything to do with him when he had asked.

Why else would she let double battery see so much skin, when she didn't let him. He was...is... much cooler than him and her husband.

She even tried covering herself up when Aliyah gave her that hot black dress, even though it was quite modest by modern standards. It had the requisite sleeves that she preferred and it reached just slightly above her knees and yet she used a dupatta to cover her legs.

Hmmm...Chashmish in a short black dress and without her chashma...Damn he would take her anywhere; or nowhere...he did not really want people looking at his biwi. It would be something for the bedroom...Bedroom secrets..Now that was something he wouldn't mind her wearing when it is just the two of them. Chashmish in a dress..or short shorts or maybe even just his shirt...After.

Wait. Stop.

What are you thinking Abhi. She's getting married to that double battery. Now.

He was fantasizing about someone else's almost wife! She has such soft skin though, that changing room incident at the boutique proved that. Andy had given her the same style to try on, only she hadn't put the dupatta on properly. There was so much skin...that was why he thought it was Tanu. And her waist, it was perfect under his hand and fit so well in his arms.

Abhi really didn't want to let the double battery get married to his Chashmish. But what reason could he give? He was the one that laid down the condition that he wouldn't leak the MMS if she got married to Double battery.

She hadn't wanted to. So confident that he would refuse and it had impressed him the lengths double battery was happy to go to, to protect his friend from defamation, but to seriously think he can get married to the Rockstar's wife?

He knew deep down that she was innocent. Anyone could tell, she had never been adulterous. She was crying tears of desperation on her wedding day for God's sake. She obviously didn't want to be here. Maybe if he had just let her go after signing the papers, there would be no strange thoughts running through his mind.

Think Abhi think. This maharaj is a pro. He'll finish all the rituals and you'll not be able to do anything then. Do you want to do anything? Didn't you want her out of your life completely? Why then does it matter? Just let this wedding be over and done with!

He was feeling possessive over her. He didn't like her..he didn't.. but neither did he like anyone looking at her...touching her...calling her chashmish...being close to her...what dilemma was this? He has to stop the wedding. To hell with what Tanu or Aliyah for that matter he thought. He didn't want his Chashmish to go anywhere so he would make up an excuse and stop the wedding. But what?

Innocent. Abhi...She's innocent. Yes! Just tell everyone that she's innocent, you know and so she doesn't need to go anywhere..After all Dadi needs her. Anything for Dadi. Yes Abhi anything for Dadi...and you can have some fun too.

Take her up to the room, help her take off all that heavy heavy jewellery... take of her chuni..and that varmala...she can't wear the same varmala as that double battery. No ways. And get her to change out of the outfit. No one should be able to see all that bare skin of his Chashmish. He might have to burn it. Unless she wears it for him and then... But first...

"Stop!"

She would have to go down. There was no choice left. He has made it clear he wanted her downstairs before the mohurat passed. Taking a deep breath, more to stop herself from actually running away, she looked at herself in the mirror.

Red eyes, tears streaking down her face; And the wedding outfit. It was so different from what she would normally wear, but then again she hadn't had a say in what she wanted.

The blouse was too low cut for her comfort. No matter how she tried draping the dupatta, there wasn't enough to cover her torso. She finally gave up and draped it the best she could. The lengha sat low on her hips instead of the demure waist high lenghas she normally wore.

The designer had obviously kept Abhi in mind when she had designed this wedding lengha, she thought. she continued staring into the mirror as she debated on whether she should change the outfit to something from her wardrobe.

He wouldn't notice the difference. Probably. Unless he's asked the designer to make it this way. There was no other option, she would have to wear this lengha. Everything had to go precisely the way he wanted.

But was there really any point in getting married to someone else who didn't love her? Even that to the man she had gotten engaged to to find out that he loved her sister? What kind of a compromise would that be?

She understood when Suresh said that he was doing it as a friend and she respected that. That he cared enough about her to want to keep her reputation above reproach. But he knew, he knew that nothing had happened between them. Then why was he marrying her, acting like they had done something wrong and he was repenting for it.

Why did he not just try convincing Abhishek that there was nothing going between them. That the MMS was fake and what had really happened. They had tried and it had failed, but he was angry then.

He seemed almost serene since she had divorced him, so he might have listened to reason, even though there was a steely determination to finish this. He would rest only after he saw her out of his life completely.

It was all her fault really. If she'd been more careful when she'd come back home from giving Abhi his guitar, she wouldn't have gotten hurt and Suresh wouldn't have carried her to the room.

She knew there was something fishy when Suresh had mentioned that Mitali bhabhi has suggested he tutor Bunty-Babli. But why would Mitali bhabhi not just tell her.

She was just as qualified as Suresh and she was at home most of the time. The kids also got along with her fine. She would have been able to tutor them through whatever difficulties they had.

Her first piece of proof had been the ball bearings that she'd slipped on. But how was that sufficient proof. Like Mitali bhabhi had mentioned they could have come out of the kids rollerskates whilst they were playing.

Then she got the footage from the CCTV cameras and a sense of relief that finally she would show him that she was innocent. That, however, had been destroyed by Mitali bhabhi and Tanu.

One thing she knew for sure was that Mitali bhabhi had a hand in this. She wasn't the mastermind but she was definitely involved. The tables had been turned when instead of saying the truth in front of everyone, she told them that she had tried bribing her with Raj's innocence.

She was still looking in the mirror and saw that the tears had started flowing again. She had tried and failed and determinately tried again. Ultimately she had lost and her faith in the truth winning diminished.

So she had decided to do the next best thing and divorce her husband, the man she'd started admiring for being kind behind the rough and careless exterior, for the sole reason that nothing ruin her husband's career.

Determinedly, she promised herself she would go through this sham, for precisely that reason. He'd threatened to upload the MMS that would ruin his future if she didn't do as he asked. Was there any point in having given him that divorce then, she wondered?

There was no point in trying to stop the flow of tears, so she put her glasses on and stepped out of their room for the last time. There was no turning back now. Resolutely she walked down the stairs and sat in the mandap.

She might have been there physically, but she was lost in memories of her first wedding. She seemed to be reliving the memories of her real wedding, the one that had happened a few months ago.

She remembered Abhishek mentioning that Suresh would bring light to their life. She pondered as they exchanged varmaalas if this was how Suresh would bring light. Freeing Abhishek to go back to his girlfriend and giving her another marriage for show.

The rest of the rituals started moving at a fast pace and she knew, before long they would be married in all sense but emotionally. He'd taken her mangalsutra and she felt almost naked without it. Her new one would not fill the sense of loss for the one he's taken off.

As they stood up for the pheras, she heard him shout,

"Stop!"

She looked up wondering what had happened now. She was doing everything right wasn't she? Why had he stopped the pandit from continuing? Did she miss something?

He had stopped the wedding. What reason he gave, she couldn't remember and she wasn't too sure if she wanted to know just then. What was important that she was no longer going to get married to Suresh and just for that she would forever be grateful to him.

She was back in the room she had thought she'd never see again. And what a relief. She reached up to feel the mangalsutra that almost felt like a dream. She felt complete now and it didn't even bother her that she was still wearing her sham wedding lengha.

That was how he found her. Looking out of the window, clutching her mangalsutra like a lifeline. She was still in that revealing lengha that he was having disturbing thoughts about earlier and in fact still was. At least she'd taken off the vaarmala that bothered him earlier.

There was still signs of her tears on her face. He wondered if she had a secretly hidden water supply somewhere. She'd been crying non-stop since she'd signed the divorce papers. Papers that he had made sure had not been lodged with the courts. He got to the lawyers in the nick of time and got them to cancel the application.

He needed to get her out of this stupor but he knew, that it wasn't the time to joke. So he went and stood behind her and softly called out to her,

"Chashmish, get away from the window. You'll fall sick."

She didn't seem to have heard him. He pulled her back and turned her around to face him.

She had felt his presence, but she was still so lost in her thoughts that it didn't strike her that he was actually talking to her, till she felt his hands on her. She was turned to face him and saw a hint of tenderness on his face. Tenderness that she had craved to see before.

He pulled her to the dressing table and sat her down. Ever so gently, he took off her chuni, followed by the tika and her earrings. His fingers grazed her collarbone as he took off the necklace and his hands stayed longer on her arms before slowly moving down to take off the chuda she put on specially. He wanted to take off the lengha, but at this instance it would be going one step too far.

He had taken off all her jewellery. It felt almost like what a wedding night should. She wondered why he was doing that, when he made her stand up. His hands stayed on her waist longer than necessary and she felt her breath hitch sllightly. Her senses were on high alert all of a sudden. All he did however was walk her to the closet and tell her to change so they could sleep.

It was difficult telling her to go, telling her to get changed, but for tonight it was better that she not know what was going through his head. Holding her at her waist had brought unnamed feelings bubbling over, which he needed to analyse.

To push those feelings on her without knowing what they meant to him was unfair and he'd been unfair to her enough. He got the pillow border ready and waited for her to come out.

As she walked out of the closet, she saw the pillow border. He was trying to make amends. She silently accepted his olive branch and slept on one side of the bed, instead of the couch outside on the balcony.

She was back in her 70's anarkali. there was a slight sense of disappointment at her nightwear choice, even though he knew that was all she ever wore. He looked at her exhausted face and banked the desire...For now.