OS - Her Revenge 2nd OS on page 4

Saanjh26 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Engager Level 2 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#1
Hi, everyone. I have written something like this for the first time. Actually, I got inspired by the forum writers. I hope it is not bad. I hope it is not too dark.
Please do comment.
Criticism and constructive feedback are welcome.
But please don't abuse me if you don't like the story. Just tell if you like it or not. I will remove it if you people don't like it
Sorry for spelling and grammatical mistakes.

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She checks herself in mirror. She is looking absolutely stunning in her bridal wear. Today is the biggest day of her life. She is getting married to love of her life. She is the luckiest person who has gotten him as her life partner. She pinches herself and a shrill voice escapes from her mouth. It's not a dream but it is a reality a beautiful reality of her life. She closes her eyes to cherish the moments she spent with him and she sees herself cuddled to him, she sees him feeding her. She sees herself confessing to him that she loves her. She sees him kissing her in happiness and suddenly she sees a blur image of a person torturing her. She quickly opens her eyes. The image was so cruel but it seems so real. May be she should stop watching horror movies. It must be some scene from those movies. No, she can't think about these movies. She will think about him only. She closes her eyes but she sees it again only difference is this time it is clearer. She opens her eyes in horror. It can't be true. He can't do this to her. How can she even imagine it? He can't torture her. What is happening to her? May be she is nervous because of marriage? May be she is still in disbelief that she can be so lucky. She sits on the bed. She is afraid of closing her eyes if she sees the same image again.

She hears the sound of firecrackers, music. It means he has reached to take her as his wife. She rushes to window and sees him sitting on the horse. He is looking more handsome than ever and his blue eyes are shinning in happiness and she sees the image of his blue eyes red in anger. What is happening to her? She loses her balance and falls on the floor. Next some minutes are the most painful moments of her life. She remembers everything about the darkest portion of her life and about the person who was responsible for it. Tears are spilling out from her eyes as she remembers the moments when he tortured her, tormented her. She remembers how she lost her sense of feeling anything. She remembers how she became a puppet of his.

So called friends enters into the room to take her to the altar and finds her on the floor. She manages herself and tells them she is coming in a minute after touch up while she enters into the washroom. She comes out of the washroom and makes her way toward alter.

He is waiting for her on the altar. Today, she will become his for forever. He will fill her life with love and happiness. He will keep her away from those painful memories. He will do everything to remove the traces of his past sins. He will keep her away from the darkest phase of their life. He is guilty that he tortured her but god is merciful. He had done wonder by taking away her memories of dark phase of their life. He remembers the day he realised his mistake and wanted to apologise to her. That day he realised that he was a monster who had snatched her every sense. He remembered how she followed his every command without realising what she is doing. He had taken her to the biggest psychologists and they said that the pain he had given her was too much for her to handle. He cried in front of her begging mercy but she did not respond. And an accident changed their life. She forgot the darkest past of her life and fell in love with him who was responsible for her every pain. Today, they are getting married. They are going to start a new life. He will always keep past away from their life.

He looks at his gorgeous bride who is coming downstairs gracefully. He is the luckiest man to get her as his life partner. She is talking a step forward to him and his heart skips a beat. She is going to be his for forever.

She comes at the altar and both of them take their respective seats. Priest starts chanting mantras. Priest asks them to stand up and take rounds around holy fire.

He leads her in first round and promises her to protect her and again the disturbing image of his torture strikes her mind.

They take second round and he promises her to keep her happy always and the flashes of past where he made her cry in pain come in front of her eyes.

They take third round and he promises her never to cheat her and again disturbing thoughts hit her.

They take fourth round and he promises to respect her and a tear spills from her eyes.

She takes the lead and takes their fifth round. She promises to be a good wife to him and he remembers their beautiful moments.

She leads him in sixth round and promises to consider his family as her own and he remembers her taking care of small needs of his and his family.

Seventh round starts and she falls on the floor. Blood is oozing out from her mouth. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks at him smiling sadly and whispers I remembered everything'. He shouts - I am sorry. Please forgive me'. But she could not hear his apology. She had already closed her eyes for forever. He can't believe that she had left him for forever.

His friends nod him but he does not respond. He clutches her body more closely to him. People separated him forcefully from her body and a piece of paper falls from her body. He picks it up and reads it. He holds the paper in his fist tightly. He did not cry and utter a single word. After some day, his friends put him in a mental hospital but his condition did not approve. He lost his every sense except for the paper which is always with him. After a long time, he is found dead in his cell and ward boy curiously open his fist. He finds a severely torn paper with word My Revenge' scribbled on it.


Edited by Saanjh26 - 10 years ago

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-Maggi- thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#2
Wow Its wonderful 👏
ur note sounded as if u committed a big mistake 😛

Saanjh26 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Engager Level 2 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: _Santhi_

Wow Its wonderful 👏

ur note sounded as if u committed a big mistake 😛



Actually, i am writing this type of story first time. I am glad you liked it😊
-Maggi- thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Saanjh26



Actually, i am writing this type of story first time. I am glad you liked it😊

Tumhe patha hai tumhara story ka kinthne sari fans hai
I came to know about it on post Which kalpi you Likemost(by mariee) All most every one took the name of ur story and its kalpi 😃
priya_remix thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#5
It was heartbreaking. But I loved it.
SamBricka thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#6
heartbreaking.. But still m loving it dear..
riaka thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#7
Awesome dear but it was so emotional that I cried at the end 😭.
Keep writing
sumasridhar thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#8
It's may be simple story but a small paper made a incredible to a life dear it's really awesome os
zindgidilse thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#9
😭 As always its wonderful...it was so emotional...and the moment she died..i was đŸ„ș Dil chu gayi story.
maarushkaa thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#10
Saanjh yaar ...aur kitna are u gonna make me fall for ur writing ?
This piece of work is a masterpiece & I mean it when I say it ..woahhh !!
I was blown away by every single word of it.

Initially I was confused ke aakhir ho kya raha hai ? She is dreaming abt him & good memories & all ...phir beech mein hi torcher kaisa ?

& then u begun to reveal the story bit by bit. U seen, now that is something I like bout ur writing...u have that impeccable & a balanced emotional mind coupled with ur timing of course. U exactly know kab kya reveal Karna hai ..

This creation of urs being its jeeta jaagta example. Had been quite a long time I had read something from u ... & this compensated all of it.

Loved every single word. It was short & quick , but the emotional quotient was bang on. By the time I had reached the end I was like staring at my phone in horror !! 👏

Mind blowing yaar ...absolutely mind blowing !!

Come up with more os' & my fav New SS 😳

Oh god ! Long comment again ? See what u do to me saanjh ...u & ur marvelous writing forces even an aalsi like me to punch in such a long comment. Nonetheless u deserve it ...u really do !!

Ur all - time - pankhaa (now i claim that even more proudly) - MARUSHKAA😃

Edited by mariee - 10 years ago

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