Divorce - A novel of love
The scene begins when Ishita spots Raman at the airport, he looks like a different man today, drooping shoulders, dejected body language, a morose looking man with moist eyes sitting near the gate awaiting the boarding call for his flight to Singapore. Ishita approaches this strange looking man but before she could say anything, her loud mother in law with her deafening voice startled all the passengers by yelling out her husband's name. Raman was shocked to see Ishita in front of him, her eyes full of anger and disgust were piercing through the quite that surrounded him, before he could process any of this, his mother slapped him in front of everyone to bring him back to reality. Ishita didn't break the eye contact and kept staring into his soul trying to find answers to this absurdity, Toshiji stood still and Raman kept on oscillating his eyes between his fuming mother and a disappointed wife. Before Raman could open his mouth,
Toshiji: Khote da puttar, chal ghar chal, teri khair nahi.
Toshiji grabbed Raman by his hand and dragged him to Ishita's car, the drive home was the longest drive of Raman's life, not a word was spoken, Raman kept on staring at Ishita while she drove the car, her eyes seemed like a reservoir that kept on leaking water, her hands were busy maneuvering the steering wheel while clutching onto those DIVORCE papers in her hands. She didn't look at him once, she kept her hazy eyes on the road, her hands on the wheel while his eyes full of guilt never broke the shameful gaze.
Once they arrived home, Ishita bolted from the car and headed straight to her bedroom, Raman without a word to his family simply followed the missus. Upon entering their bedroom, he found Ishita sitting on the sofa staring at those papers and kept on mumbling DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE', her red and swollen eyes were fixated on those papers, the world ceased to exist, she couldn't fathom the reason behind this absurdity. She looked up to wipe her tears only to see the very man responsible for her miserable and sorry state. Ishita got up and started her march towards her husband, while Raman saw Ishita like he has never seen her before; eyes full of rage, teeth grinding in anger, a walk full of determination and with her threatening body language, she stood inches away from his face.
I: So you want a DIVORCE huh? Don't you dare say a word Raman, not a word, its my turn to speak today. All my life people kept on deciding for me and I stood there as a spectator, Subbu decided to end our relationship, I was forced to meet random guys on Amma's insistence, Appa said he won't eat till I agree to get married to you, these were decisions of MY life but others kept on making them for me and between being a good daughter, a good fianc and a good sister I lost myself. It was no secret that early on in our marriage, I despised you, but I still respected you because you never forced your decisions on me, you let me find myself and maintain my individuality, but today, today you proved to me that you are like everyone else! Who gave you the Goddamn right to decide about MY life, why is it so easy for men to decide when to begin and end a relationship, do I have no say in what I want from this relationship, look at me Raman, I said look at me Goddamn it! I ask you again, in this decision of yours to part ways, where is my voice, where is my opinion?
Ishita wipes her tears and before Raman could muster up the courage to speak, she continues.
I: Or is this one of your drunken' decisions like when you tried to force yourself upon me without my consent, today you want to force yourself away from me without my consent.
Raman after hearing those words couldn't take it anymore, he was about to yell but Ishita cut him short, Raman had never seen his wife this angry, he didn't know what to expect next and for the first time he was actually scared of Ishita, she was actually behaving like her namesake: Jhansi Ki Rani, with that fearful thought a small smile crept on his face.
I: I dare you to open your mouth today and let's see what happens to you and your tiny little overactive brain of yours, and wipe that stupid grin of your face, you insensitive jerk. Nothing comes easy in life, I teach our daughter that one must work hard to deserve things in life, nothing comes easy and nothing comes free. I have followed this motto all my life and I am not about break this principle of mine for an insensitive ass. Both of us worked hard, fought with the world and ourselves to deserve each others LOVE.
Raman's eyes looked up to hers, to gauge whether she understood what she had just said but Ishita was in a rage and she kept on going,
I: We worked hard to convert our hatred into love, to make this marriage of circumstances into a marriage of mutual respect and understanding, I worked bloody hard to deserve your love and you worked equally hard to deserve mine, and now you want a divorce, FINE! You can have it but you must work at it Mr. Bhalla, nothing comes easy in life, just like we worked at getting love back in our lives, you must work hard to get rid of me from your life. Nothing comes easy in this world, you get what you work for, so start working for this Divorce, my life isn't a freaking joke and there are no freebies in my word, so EARN THIS GODDAMN DIVORCE!
With that she threw the papers in his face and started to move past him, in a swift motion he held her hands and pulled her towards him, his eyes couldn't meet hers but he held onto her arm and tried to speak up with a cracking voice.
R: Yaad uss raat jab hum maa ko chodne airport gaye the aur maine kaha tha, ke ik din tum apni dil ki baat mujhe khud bataongi...dekha aaj who din aa hi gaya.
Raman continues...
I want to work hard but not for a divorce, I want to earn you back, I want to earn your trust back and I want to earn your love back.
Ishita's anger was subsiding but this step of Raman's had jolted her being, her self-worth, her confidence and her ability to believe in herself. After reading the words DIVORCE all her insecurities of feeling inadequate, never being able to satisfy a man, and the feeling of being barren, all returned like they had never left her.
R: Ishita please listen to me, I am stupid, I am a moron, I didn't think this through, I figured that I have only given you pain and my unfortunate past will always cause trouble in your life. Forgetting the fact that it's not my past and your life, it's OUR past and OUR life. Ishita, I have never known what it is like to be in a supportive relationship, with Shagun it was always her life of comfort and my life of making sure that she gets all her comforts, it was never US and it was always HER and then I. I never knew that a marriage could be beautiful like ours, my past experience once again clouded over my present but no more Ishita, no more! I want this, I want you and I want US!
I: Oh you do, do you? So now let me forget the misery of the past 3 days, the agony of you distancing yourself from me, the shock of seeing these papers in front of me, and let me forget the feeling and guilt I felt when I realized that I orphaned my daughter because of my inability to keep a man happy, the feeling that my daughter lost the most precious thing in her life: her father because of me. So let's just put it under the rug and forget about it because the great Mr. Raman Kumar Bhalla now wants this marriage to work. So tell me which rug should we choose to hide our problems, since you are single handedly making all the decisions of our relationship might as well make this one.
R: I know you are upset, and you have the right to be but I promise I will work hard tirelessly to make you trust me again, make you fall in love with me again and to make our family wholesome again.
I: You don't get it, do you? I never fell out of love for me to fall in love with you again Raman! Love isn't fickle, we might be but love isn't, love is the most faithful emotion, we may abandon each other but love never abandons us. You decided to leave me but your love never did, it stayed with me and it always will.
With that Ishita took her blanket and retreated to the sofa, Raman stood there silently engulfed by the darkness, a part of him was happy that both of them had acknowledged their feelings but a part of him was saddened to see the love of his life hurt. While holding onto the divorce papers in his hands, he looked over to Ishita who lay silently on the sofa with her faint sobs filling the quiet of the room, Raman proclaimed, I am going to change these papers of separation into our novel of love'.
In the morning when Ishita woke up she found the 1st page of the divorce papers folded in half, intrigued and angered she opened it up to find a handmade sorry card on the blank side of the divorce paper.
'Jhansi Ki Rani, I know you love these handmade cards of mine, that's why you saved the last one I made for you so don't pretend, I bet there is a lone tear escaping the corner of your eye right now. Does this at least earn me your proximity albeit in silence? I am waiting for you outside for breakfast'
Ishita smiled at the gesture but she was in no mood to forget or forgive such callous and hurtful behavior of her husband's so she kept the card in the safe where she stores her valuables and heads out to begin her day.
Toshi ji and Mr. Bhalla were accompanying appa to go visit Mrs. Iyer in Chennai, Simmi was going to spend time with Pammi aunty and her friends from the old neighborhood and Romi was going for a weekend trip to Goa with his buddies. Raman thanked his stars for some solitude because he knew that making up for his blunder wasn't going to be easy and with family around it would be next to impossible.
Breakfast was a quiet affair, mother-daughter duo were busy ignoring him and any effort at conversing was met with angry stares and eye rolls, so he decided he must win junior JKR before he tries to tame the older one. Raman pulls out page # 2 from the divorce file' papers and on the blank side of the page draws stick figures of his beautiful family, him in the middle of Ruhi and Ishimaa, on top of the stick figures is a big SORRY. Raman quietly goes and slips this paper into Ruhi's room under the door and waits outside for some reaction. After a minute, the door opens, he sees Ruhi holding the sketch in her hand, with a smile on her face she leaps into his arms and Raman takes her into a bone crushing hug promising himself to never let her go.
Raman: Papa is sorry to leave you Ruhi, I am so sorry
Ruhi: It's okay papa now you are back! I am so happy I can sit in your lap and play with your beard and now we can draw and make cards for Ishimaa.
Raman: Ruhi can you help me, Papa was bad and now Ishimaa is angry, can you help Papa earn Ishimaa's forgiveness.
Ruhi: Of course Papa I am Ishimaa's favorite, if I tell her she will forgive you, Ruhi promise!
Raman under his breath: Now I want to be your Ishimaa's favorite.
Raman with Ruhi in tow enter his bedroom to find Ishita sitting on the couch engrossed in patient charts, Raman takes the very last page of the Divorce papers', turns it around and writes:
'JKR stop pretending like you actually do some work, we all know you are a fake dentist. Don't be rude, your daughter is in the room pay some attention to her. I remember a very intelligent madrasan had once told me that all kids need is a little bit of their parent's time, love and affection. Bas bhashan dena atta hai, khud follow kyon nahi karti'
He slides the page over to Ishita, who fumes while reading that little rant of his and gets even angrier at this audacity to use those Divorce papers as scrap paper once again, while Ishita was busy coming up with an appropriate response Raman turns on the radio as he sits next to Ruhi and helps her color in a sketch.
RJ: Aaj ki raat yeh pura ghanta ek pati aur patni ke naam, koi hai ek bechare pati apni Patni ki ko manane ki koshish kar raha hai toh chalo Delhi uski madad kare ek musical sham se.
Ishita slides over the paper to Raman,
'Ravan kumar you remember this but the same intelligent madrasan had said, ki log shaadi karte hain ek saath rehna ke liye, taki wo apni zindagi ek saath beta payaon, aage ke planning ek saath kar payain, par tumne kya kiya, dar gaye aur woh bhi pyaar se, mujhe laga aap Ravan ho par aap toh darpok nekle'
Meanwhile the radio started playing...
suniye to rukiye to
please listen, please stop!
kyon hain khafa arre kahiye to
why are you angry? please tell me!
aisi kya jaldi jaane ki
why are you in such a rush to leave?
deewana hoon maana suniye deewane ki
i'm mad for you, understand? listen to the one who's crazy for you
Raman took the paper and began writing..
'Aaj toh RJ bhi muj pe meharban hai, toh JRK suno yaar ab toh SRK bhi keh raha hai ke maaf kardo, chodo gussa, chalo thik hai tum madrashi ho toh sucho ki Rajnikant keh raha ki mujhe maaf kar do, galti ho gayi yaar'
Ishita wrote back, 'bas phir se Ravan turns darpok, bas itne main Rajnikant ko yaad kar liya, itna jaldi har maan gaye, woo me Raavan kumar, give me a reason to trust you again or keep praying to Rajnikant in the meantime I'll keep a bag ready for you just in case you decide to run again.'
Ishita began writing while the next song played on the radio...
Yeh Shaam Mastani, Madhosh Kiye Jaye
Mujhe Dor Koi Kheeche, Teri Orr Liye Jaye
This lively evening, it intoxicates me
A string pulls me, pulls me towards you
Baat Jab Main Karu, Mujhe Rok Deti Hai Kyon
Teri Meethi Nazar, Mujhe Tok Deti Hai Kyon
Teri Haya, Teri Sharam, Teri Kasam Mere Honth Siye Jaye
Yeh Shaam Mastani...
When I talk to you, why do you stop me
Your sweet stare, why does it reprimand me
Your shyness, your delicacy, I swear it leaves me tongue-tied
Raman takes the paper, and starts writing...
'Listen I am a Punjabi mard I will die before I pray to your Rajnikant aur maaf to tum mujhe karke rahogi aur woh bhi aaj raat, aaj toh main bolke rahonga, kal se meri bolti band kar di hain, mujhe moka hi nahi deti baat karne ka, kabhi tumhari yeh aakhen jisme gam bhi haan aur khushi bhi, kabhi tumhare shabd..methe toh kabhi tekhe, yeh saansein kabhi mera chaan le leti hain toh kabhi mere saansein rok deti hain'
Ishita: 'Maafi koi aise mangta hain woh bhi itni akkad se, sach main Ravaan ho aap'
Kora kagaz tha ye man mera, likh liya nam iss pe tera
Like ink on blank paper, your name is etched on my heart
Suna aangan tha jivan mera, bas gaya pyaar jis pe tera
Like hope in desolation, you have filled my life with love
Toot na jaaye sapne main darata hun, nit din sapnon mein dekha karata hun
Like fear of broken dreams, that make me dream day and night
Naina kajrare matavare yeh ishare
Of your beautiful dark eyes, bewitching
Khali darpan tha yeh man mera, rach gaya rup iss me tera
Like beauty cast upon mirror, you cast a shadow my heart
Raman: 'Naraz ho phir bhi has rahi ho, jis tarah is kagaz ko bhar rahi ho, aise hi meri zindagi bharti rehna, tumhare bina yeh zindagi kore kagaz ki tarah suni rahegi.'
Ishita: 'Is panne ko toh humne saath bhara hai Raman, main akale kuch nahi kar sakti, mujhe aapka saath chahiye, dono milke aise kai panne bhar lenge. Waise how much did you spend to buy this hour on the radio? Duffer, idiot, darpok, Ravaan aur kitne naam doon main apko! Sirf ek sorry bolna tha aapko aur yeh saab kar diya, isharon isharon main baat karna koi aapse sekhe.'
R: 'Toh agar tumhari aakhon se tum baat karogi toh main isharon se hi baat karonga. Aur tum kya chahte ho Ruhi ke samne hi shuru kardon...Madrasan tum bhi kam nahi nikli...'
RJ: Aur yeh gaana ek patni ne apne darpok pati ke naam dedicate kiya hai.
ishaaro ishaaro mein dil lene waale
bataa ye hunar tune sikhaa kahaa se
nigaaho nigaaho mein jaadoo chalaanaa
meree jaan sikhaa hain tum ne jahaa se
Raman and Ishita both smiled at each other, Raman took the paper in his hand, ran to Ruhi's room and grabbed page # 2 with the family sketch and then asked Ishita if he could get the apology card he gave her this morning.
Once Raman had all the three pages, he stapled them together, signed at the bottom and handed it over to Ishita.
R: I had vowed to change these 3 pages of divorce papers into our novel of love! On the back of the 1st page of the divorce papers is my apology to you, on the back of the second page is my attempt at holding our small family together, I have sketched you and Ruhi in my heart and I am never leaving that image out of my sight and on the back of the 3rd page is you and I, together fighting it out and being together! This is our novel of love Ishita, please sign it and if I act stupid again whack me with it but promise me never to give up on me and I promise never to give up on us.
Ishita with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes signs into law the story of their companionship, or rather a saga of love. She grabs the papers, whacks Raman on his chest and stores these invaluable papers in the safe.
RJ: Yeh raat ka aakhri gaana, hope all the angry wives out there have forgiven their husbands. Thank you for coming along on this musical journey of love. Good night and sleep tight Delhi.
Tera mujhse Hai Pehle Ka Naata Koi
Yoonhi Nahin Dil Lubhaata Koi
Mera Tujhse Hai Pehle Ka Naata Koi
Yoonhi Nahin Dil Lubhaata Koi
Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
Maane Tu Ya Maane Na
Dekho Abhi Khona Nahin
Kabhi Juda Hona Nahin
Ab Ke Yoohin Mile Rahenge Dono
Vaada Raha Ye Is Shaam Ka
Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
Maane Tu Ya Maane Na
