mina's if onlies: NEW Oct 2/17 - p5 Woh Special Wala Maal (AbhiGya OS)

guysss i'm so annoyed at abhi's behaviour today

so i am going to write out some ways i wish it had gone

they're all going to be stupid and lame but

it may help relieve my temper and let me focus on better things

and maybe some of you will enjoy it

SO HERE WE GO

(will post more as i write them :P)



and as for how all the girls in the world want you - well, there's biology in that too. the mere sight of you is what they want. they don't know you. they don't know your arrogance or your idiocy. they don't know your callous disregard for anyone other than your grandmother and precious sister. they don't know that you can't find your own phone or towel in the morning. they don't know what it's like to live with you. they don't know anything about you - they only know that you look delicious. and their hormones know that you would make an excellent bed partner. or sperm donor.

and alright, fine, you can take credit for working on your body and keeping yourself in shape. but you can't take credit for that heaven blessed face - that's just good genes, the luck of the draw. so do you understand? the things that make you abhi - abhi, and not just some hot guy - are your personality, which no girl wants except that delusional girlfriend of yours, and your face, which you have no control over. do you get what i'm trying to tell you, rockstar? yes, i respond to you. i want you. but not because you're you.



mina is not a biology expert so please forgive her butchery of science.

IF ONLY NUMBER 2: REDUNDANCIES

A: *self satisfied sly smile* . in reality you are affected by whether i'm near you, whether i get close to you, right? and now i'm really happy, to see you in this state. and in this state - i reject you.

P: *suddenly laughs* sorry rockstar, did you hit your head? when did you ever accept me, that you're now rejecting me? and i hope you remember, i tried not to marry you. you're the one who came to my house to get me back. and for that matter, you're the one who brought me back into this house by hand not two days ago. so baby...whatever you wanna do to me...i did to you first, haan?

The first one is spot on pre-marriage Pragya. The second one is spot on what a self respecting woman would have said. Brava! 👏

IF ONLY NUMBER 3: REALITY CHECK

p: oh...do you want to touch me now? are you feeling ok? you remember i'm still chashmish right?

IF ONLY NUMBER 4: AS YOU WISH

p: i don't like you...don't come near me...don't touch me...why are you still in my face? *glares up at him*

a: *staggers back in shock*

IF ONLY NUMBER 5: BACKFIRE

A: *pulls back from the almost kiss* do you still want to divorce me?

P: *eyes flutter open* no! thanks for changing my mind!! aap kitne aache hain! (you are such a good person!)

~previously posted if onlies (AT 52/53 randomness)~

abhi: don't you feel anything when i touch you?

pragya: hanh - ghrina aati hain mujhe. aapke chuhna mujhe bilkul bhi pasand nahin. kaisi hogi, aap jab itne dokhebaaz selfish cheating insaan ho. (yes - i feel disgust. i don't like you touching me at all. how could i when you're such a cheating, selfish, cheating man!)


abhi:
you'd given that double battery permission and turned away abhi the rockstar.

pragya:
no no, let's clarify - i might not have turned away abhi the rockstar. but of course i turned away abhi the drunk lech.

if onlies from the precap yesterday


a: Ladkiyon marte hain mujh par, tum nahin kyun?

(girls would die to be with me, why not you)

***RANGE OF RESPONSES****

patient, responsible pragya: I explained this to you once. It's like when you hear a wedding procession - the drums sound amazing from far away, but up close it's all meaningless, maddening noise. (she said something similar in the episode with Tarun's wedding before the hall demolition)

angry prags: main aap par kyun maroon? saare duniya ki ladkiyon aapko bhagwan man sakhte lekin meri liye aap sirf ek kamzoor aur bewakoof aadmi ho. (why should i want to die to be with you? all the girls in the world might consider you a god but to me you're just a weak and foolish man)

darkly broken prags: dying to be with you? how could i, when you've already killed me from inside?

straightforward prags: how could i possibly want to be with you after everything you've done to me?

sarcastic prags: aap ko kya fadag padta hai? ladkiyon aap par maarti hain aur sirf ek sukhi chashmish aap ko nahin chahte, aapko mehsoos ho raha hai? (what difference does it make to you? girls would die to be with you and just one dried up chasmish doesn't want you and you're actually noticing it?)

sassy prags: well, i'm smarter than most girls. i know i need to be alive to be with you.

vindictive prags: to be honest you've never been my type. i prefer a man with brains, you know? and a sensible heart helps as well. i'm not really interest in man-children.

longing prags: kya faida? main marti hoon yaa jiti hoon, aapko toh kuch bhi nahin lagenge (what's the use? whether i die or live, it would mean nothing to you)

loving prags: main aap par har pal marti hoon, sirf ek aap hain jo kabhi dehen nahin dete (i die for you moment by moment, it's just that you are one who is never paying attention)

saucy prags: p: that's the thing...i'm a grown woman, not a silly girl.

or

p: girls might..but i'm a woman and i want a man, not a dream boy

behenji prags: haaaye apne mujhe ladki kaha! matlab aapne notice kiya ki main ladki hoon! lekin...kya aap meri taraf...aankh laga rahe thi??? chi chi chi!!

wow you said i'm a girl! meaning you've noticed that i am a girl! wait...have you been...LOOKING at me?! gross! naughty!!)

lattu prags: oooh, would you like me to do that? i can start now!!

IF ONLY NUMBER 7: LEGALITIES

A: you're affected by my touch too. i wanted to see that, so now you can divorce me. you can.

P: *snaps out of her daze* euhh? oh no rockstar you're confused. i can't - the judges do that. *pats his shoulder and walks away*

IF ONLY NUMBER 8: CLARIFICATIONS

A: you rejected me. you wouldn't let me touch you, get close to you, but now -

P: of course i did! but not because i didn't want you to touch me. hello? it's because you're a first class jerk. did you not realize?